"Dorian! He never would have believed me without seeing those pictures," Blair insisted.

Dorian tried to keep her voice calm when what she wanted to do was shake some sense into Blair. "I know you're upset over Todd and that poor little Adam you told me about. But for God's sake Blair, you have shown your hand. Sam will go running to Viki to tell her about those pictures. You've given Téa and Kevin all the time in the world to cover up their tracks."

"It's not like that, Dorian. Sam won't do that. He . . . he's . . . he's not well. He doesn't look good. All of this with Todd and the alters is killing him. He hates what Doctor Hanen and her staff are doing to Todd. He doesn't trust them and he's losing faith in Viki's ability to do what's right for Todd. He agrees that Kevin, Téa and Doctor Hanen are influencing her. He may even believe that the Buchanan's are paying off Doctor Hanen. The best news is that Viki wants to make Sam Todd's co-guardian. He will have as much right to make decisions for Todd as Viki does. He wasn't sure he should become Todd's guardian, but I think I convinced him it would be the best thing. He knows that Viki's judgment is poor because of her history with Doctor Hanen and her blind love for Kevin and her totally misplaced trust in Téa."

Dorian was shocked. She could not imagine Sam believing any of that. "Blair, what if it's an act? Maybe he's trying to get you to think that and to trust him so he can find out what you're up to and nip it in the bud. He loves Viki! He'd never try to take Todd away from her. Never!"

"He doesn't see it as taking Todd away from Viki. He sees it as taking Todd away from that horrible hospital and it's staff. He sees it as rescuing Todd from Téa and Kevin before they destroy him. Dorian don't you see? He believed in Téa. Even if he had his doubts about Kevin, he believed in Téa. I had to show him what the current Mrs. Manning is really like. I had to expose her for the gold digging tramp that she is."

"Fine! Couldn't you wait to do it in court? Your lawyer warned you not to tip your hand. I can see you trying to get close to Sam. I can see you trying to get him on your side with some subtle hints about Doctor Hanen, Téa and Kevin. This is totally unacceptable. You are too emotionally involved in this Blair. It's clouding your judgment."

Blair felt frightened and nervous. Dorian was making her doubt herself. Blair thought of Sam and the way he was acting. "No! Dorian, I'm telling you. Sam has very strong doubts about keeping Todd in the hospital. Sam is feeling so guilty. He's snapping at everyone. Even Viki."

"There's trouble between Sam and Viki?" Dorian tried to hide the tiny bit of satisfaction she was feeling from her voice. "It sounds like Viki might need a shoulder to cry on. Maybe I should pay her a visit. I've been wanting her to know that I think Cassie is well rid of Kevin anyway. I think I'll head over to the hosp . . ."

"Dorian! Why don't you just leave that poor woman and her family alone? Don't they have enough misery without you adding to it?"

Dorian had not even heard Mel come into the room. She'd been keeping Blair's plan a secret from him.

"Viki's family. In times of need family needs to stick together."

"Bullshit! Dorian you are going there to get whatever dirt there may be on Viki and Sam's relationship. You're also going there to give her grief over Kevin."

"You never give me the benefit of the doubt. Viki and I have reached a new closeness. I've been a huge help to her. Ask Blair!" Dorian pointed to her niece and gave her a look that said, "back me up."

"Um . . . ah . . . . Yes! Mel, Dorian has been a big help to both Viki and Todd. Well . . . um . . . actually to Timmy. Timmy is a little four year old boy and Dorian has been very . . . uh . . . comforting to him."

"Yes. I have. Mel, Timmy feels very close to me. My goodness. That child literally jumps for joy when he sees me. He calls me Auntie Dorian. He just loves it when I visit. Viki looks forward to the long talks we have. I helped her when she needed to find a picture of Todd that her perverted father hid in an old trunk. I've even advised Todd's doctor on his care."

Dorian could see by the look of disbelief under one raised eyebrow that Mel did not buy her claims of closeness with Viki and Todd.

"Come on Dorian! I know you have it in you. Do the decent thing for once and leave those poor people alone." Mel turned to Blair. His voice became tender. "Honey, I know Todd is Starr's father and you love him. Don't use that as an excuse to do what you want. Do what's right for Todd. If you hurt his sister and Sam, Todd will not thank you for it when he's well. He'll never forgive you."

From the expressions on their faces, Mel saw that Blair was thinking about what he'd just said and it concerned her. He could also see the determination to make trouble on Dorian's face. He knew her resentment of Viki ate through her like a cancer. She could not let it go.

"Don't cause those people any more trouble, Dorian!" Mel's voice was firm even though he knew it was a lost cause. "I wish I still smoked!" Mel muttered to himself as he left the room.

"Dorian, what if Mel is right. Oh my God! I never thought of that. What if Todd hates me for doing this? What if he thinks I hurt Viki and he never forgives me?" Blair was frantic.

"Blair will you calm down! Mel is not right. Mel does not know Viki the way I do and he doesn't know Todd at all. Todd cares about loyalty. You know the way he acted when he thought you deceived him about the baby and Patrick."

"I did deceive him about the baby and even though I thought he was dead I did sleep with Patrick."

"That's not my point." Dorian was not interested it any validity Todd may have had for his feelings. "My point is that when Todd is able to realize how Téa and Kevin betrayed him and Viki stood by and let them do it he will be so grateful to you for seeing it and for saving him." Dorian said nothing about Susannah deliberately keeping Todd sick. While Dorian did think Todd's care could be better she did not believe that Susannah was keeping Todd sick. She had seen enough in his chart to realize that. She just didn't believe Susannah was the "savior" that Viki thought her to be. As far as Dorian was concerned, Viki still had a long way to go to be well.

"Oh Dorian, do you really think so? I swear I want what 's best for Todd and all those sweet children. I want Starr to have her daddy back."

Dorian walked over to Blair and stroked her hair. "And you want your husband back don't you?"

Blair started to cry. "I do. Dorian I still love Todd so much. I'm so sorry for all the lies and all the times I took sides against him. I look back on all the men I thought I loved, Cord, Max . . . I realize I never loved them. Not the way I love Todd. I never had with them what I had with Todd. I look back on it now and I can't believe that I ever cared for them. Cord was nice enough. He was kind. But Max! Max is such a jerk! I don't know what I ever saw in him. Todd was everything I'd ever dreamed of. He was handsome, brilliant, exciting and in his own way one of the kindest and most generous men I have ever known. I know Todd and I got together during a very dark and bad time in his life, but he really did love me. Didn't he? I mean love me the way . . ." Blair could hardly say it. "The way he thinks he loves Téa." Blair emphasized the word thinks.

Blair needed to think Todd's love for Téa wasn't real. She could not do what she felt she had to do otherwise. Blair still could not accept that it was possible that Todd had something with Téa he had never had with her. That he felt a certain respect for Téa and placed Téa on a pedestal that he had never placed her on. She could never admit that Todd trusted Téa in ways he never trusted her. And Blair certainly could never begin to see that Téa was able to reflect what was good in Todd and allow him to see it through her. In many ways Blair reflected the worst of Todd. She didn't mean to. Blair's love for Todd was genuine. She loved him as much as she was able to love. Because of her own childhood of growing up unloved and unwanted, Blair thought of herself as a loser, as "the most pathetic." She believed she had to claw her way through life to get what she wanted. She would use anyone in her path if she had to. Blair saw Todd the same way. She saw Todd as her soul mate in that. She got him to see himself that way too. This was not healthy for either of them.

"Do you Dorian? Do you think underneath all of this terrible illness Todd still loves me?"

"My heart goes out to Todd, but I will never understand what you see in him. I do . . ."

"Dorian!" Blair cut her off. She was angry and hurt by that remark.

"Let me finish. I do know you love Todd with all your heart and I do know he's a good father to Starr. When he is well I will do everything in my power to help you get him back. For now I need to help you get him away from Viki and the hospital."

"And Téa!" Blair added.

"Yes, and Téa and Kevin. I think this would be an excellent time to for us to pay a visit. Viki may get suspicious if I show up by myself. She may not even allow me on Todd's unit. No, I need to be there to give you moral support."

"Dorian, if you're just going there to hurt Viki than you can forget about it right now! I need you to help me. Not to satisfy your need for revenge."

"How can you speak to me that way after I just promised to help you?" Dorian's feelings were hurt, even though that was exactly her motive, she had convinced herself that she was on a mission to help Blair and Todd. "Blair if you don't want my help just say so and I will no longer have anything at all to do with this."

"No, Dorian. I do want your help. Just promise me you won't do anything to get us kicked out of the hospital for good."

"Your gratitude overwhelms me," Dorian chided Blair and then asked. "Can you go to the hospital now?"

"No, I just came from there. There is no reason for me to go back there tonight. It would make them suspicious. Besides, they've probably put Adam to bed for the night." Blair smiled at the memory of Adam. "Oh Dorian, you should see him. He is the sweetest little boy. When he sleeps he looks like Starr."

Dorian's heart tugged for this child. She did want to help him. As she truly wanted to help Timmy. It was only Viki that Dorian could not think rationally about.

"I guess Viki can wait until tomorrow morning for my help and support. I really do need to try to make Mel understand anyway. Why don't you come here after Starr goes to school and we can go to the hospital together," Dorian suggested.

"I have to make sure Téa and Kevin aren't around. We are all not allowed on Todd's unit at the same time, except for the training sessions with Adam."

"Oh how dare they tell you that you are not allowed access to your child's father just because Viki's son or Téa are there. They should be the ones who have to wait for you to leave."

"They do Dorian. If I'm there first they have to wait." Blair informed Dorian of the rules.

"I still don't like it! You should have priority. I'll have to see if I can do something about that."

"No! Dorian don't do anything that will . . . Oh look, please, just don't do anything without discussing it with me first. Promise me, Dorian!"

"Of course I won't." Dorian answered sweetly.

"I need to get home to Starr. Before I go I need your help in something else. I need you to start preparing a list of doctors, nurses, technicians and any other kind of medical personal you think Todd would need. I need you to recommend specific people or an agency where I can get the kind of qualified medical care Todd needs. I also need a list of any possible equipment he would need."

"Honey, you know that you may never get custody of Todd."

"I know that!" Blair responded sharply. "I have to be prepared just in case I do. I need to be able to show the court that Todd will have the very best medical and psychiatric care if he is with me. Besides," Blair began nervously. "If God forbid something should happen to Todd I have to be prepared. All that equipment and staff has to be in place before I bring him home."

"I'll have a list for you by tomorrow," Dorian promised. "Thank you," Blair took Dorian's hand. "You don't think something really will happen to Todd when he's home, do you? I mean like to his heart or that awful status epilepticus that he had?"

"Honey, I wish I could tell you it couldn't happen. You know I can't." Dorian held Blair by her upper arms and looked into her eyes. "Are you sure you want to do this? Taking care of Todd the way he is now is an awesome responsibility. He's a very sick young man. You have a child to think of. Maybe you should try to get Todd transferred to another hospital. There are some wonderful psychiatric hospitals in other states. This would get Todd away from everyone you think might be a danger to him. If you are his guardian you would be in charge if his finances too. You could keep him anywhere you want."

"Dorian!" Blair pulled away from her. "Where I want Todd to be is with me and with Starr. I don't want him with strangers."

"All right! It was just a suggestion. How long do you think you'll be able to keep Starr away from her father once she realizes he's home?"

"Anyway, Sam would be in charge of Todd's money, not I." Blair thought for a moment. "Is Starr staying here a problem? If it is I know Cassie and River would love to have her stay with them."

"You know better than that, Blair. I love having Starr here. Mel adores her. Even my maids adore her. Starr is a smart little girl. She will figure out a way to see her father."

"It will just be for a couple of weeks. Just until Todd is himself again."

"A couple of weeks! Honey, it may take years for Todd to be what you call 'himself' again."

"No it won't! It's the medication. It's the way they treat him, tying him up and holding him against his will, torturing Adam until he's screaming and crying. They make that baby beg for food and for a drink. If he wants to sit quietly and watch a video they shut it off until he gets so upset he starts to tantrum. Then when he does they ignore him until he's so weak he can't cry anymore."

"I don't know much about behavior therapy, but I do remember reading an article on children with autism and that does sound like appropriate therapy," Dorian admitted.

"It's not! Dorian what you read about can't be the same as this. They are making him suffer horribly. Sam wants to put a stop to it, but Viki allows it. You should see Téa and Kevin. They pretend that they are so happy when Adam is successful at something. Téa is all over him. Even Kevin hugs him and holds him, for Viki's benefit I'm sure. Sam is the only one who tries to help that little boy. I know Sam will help me. I feel it."

"I'm on your side. You remember that. Whatever you need I'll help you to get," Dorian promised.

Blair kissed Dorian on the cheek. I'd better be getting home. Starr will wonder where I am."

"You give our girl a big kiss from her Auntie Dorian."

"I will," Blair promised, with a smile.

As the door shut behind Blair, Dorian shook her head. She knew this was not going to be as simple as Blair hoped. Even though her compassion for the child alters and even Todd was genuine, Dorian was still afraid for Blair to be alone in the house with Todd. "I'll just have to make sure to pick doctors and staff that will know how to contain him if he tries to hurt her when he's Todd or one of the other alters who are violent. I'll have to make sure they are tough enough to work with dangerous patients and criminals. That has to be my first priority when picking them. I'm sure that when the children come out they will be able to take a softer attitude." Dorian thought out loud. Then to herself she thought, 'it would also be a good idea to pick a medical staff the answers to me and doesn't necessarily let ethics stand in the way of doing what needs to be done, like keeping Viki and Kevin away from Todd and keeping Todd away from Starr.' Dorian tried not to think of the fact that the gentle, caring staff Blair had in mind was not at all the kind of people Dorian was thinking of hiring. Dorian checked herself out in the hallway mirror. She fluffed her hair and headed upstairs to Mel.

Susannah saw that Kevin's car was still in the hospital parking garage. She was grateful he wasn't driving. Even if he wasn't drinking, he had been too upset to drive. Susannah tried three different bars all within a mile of the hospital. When she got to the forth she was about to leave when she saw Kevin. He was sitting in a corner booth. From the slump of his posture, Susannah knew he was already had a few.

"Mind if I sit down?"

Kevin looked up. He looked surprised and then he smiled knowingly. "Did my mom send you here because her first thought was that I would get drunk?"

"No, your mom thinks you went home or to the Banner. In fact she's on her way to both places to look for you. Do you mind if I sit down?" Susannah repeated.

Kevin moved over and slapped the seat next to him. "Can I buy you a drink? I have to warn you that I have a really good head start."

"No thanks. I'll be on duty most of the night."

"Guess you have me to thank for that! Is Todd in a restraint?"

"No, He's heavily sedated and sound asleep."

"Heavily sedated sounds good to me. I'm on my way there myself." Kevin emphasized his statement by holding up his drink.

"Todd coming back has left you pretty upset," Susannah stated the obvious.

"Most encounters with Todd leave me pretty upset," Kevin shot back.

"Did the old feelings you had for Todd return? Is that what's upsetting you?"

"Are you sure you don't want a drink? The booze here doesn't seem too potent so you'd better start if you want to catch up with me."

Secrets 101, Page 2