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Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition
1. Once you have their money, you never give it back. [Rom, "The Nagus"]
3. Never spend more for an acquisition than you have to. [Quark, "The Maquis Part II"]
6. Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity. [Zek, "The Nagus"]
7. Keep your ears open. [Odo, "Hands of the Prophet"]
8. Small print leads to large risk. [TFRA (p6)]
9. Opportunity plus instinct equals profit. [Nog, "The Storyteller"]
10. Greed is eternal. [Quark, "Prophet Motive"]
13. Anything worth doing is worth doing for money. [TFRA (p9)]
16. A deal is a deal (...until a better one comes along.) [Quark, "Melora"]
18. A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all. [Ben Sisko & Nog, "Heart of Stone"]
19. Satisfaction is not guaranteed. [TFRA (p12)]
21. Never place friendship above profit. [Quark, "Rules of Acquisition"]
22. A wise man can hear profit in the wind. [Pel, "Rules of Acquisition"]
27. There's nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman. [TFRA (p16)]
28. Whisper your way to success. [Nog, "Treachery, Faith, and the Great River"]
31. Never make fun of a Ferengi's mother. [Quark, "The Siege"]
33. It never hurts to suck up to the boss. [Quark & Pel, "Rules of Acquisition"]
34. War is good for business. [Quark & Dax, "Destiny"]
35. Peace is good for business. [Quark & Dax, "Destiny"]
40. She can touch your lobes but never your latinum. [TFRA (p23)]
41. Profit is its own reward. [TFRA (p24)]
44. Never confuse wisdom with luck. [TFRA (p25)]
47. Never trust anyone whose suit is nicer than your own. [Quark, "Rivals"]
48. The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife. [Pel, "Rules of Acquisition"]
52. Never ask when you can take. [TFRA (p28)]
57. Good customers are as rare as latinum, treasure them. [Quark, "Armageddon Game"]
58. There is no substitute for success. [TFRA (p30)]
59. Free advice is seldom cheap. [Quark, "Rules of Acquisition"]
60. Keep your lies consistent. [TFRA (p33)]
62. The riskier the road, the greater the profit. [Pel, "Rules of Acquisition"]
65. Win or lose, there's always Huyperian beetle snuff. [TFRA (p36)]
75. Home is where the heart is, but the stars are made of latinum. [Quark, "Civil Defense"]
76. Every once in a while declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies. [Quark, "The Homecoming"]
79. Beware of the Vulcan greed for knowledge. [TFRA (p41)]
82. The flimsier the product, the higher the price. [TFRA (p42)]
85. Never let the competition know what you're thinking. [TFRA (p43)]
89. Ask not what your profits can do for you, ask what you can do for your profits. [TFRA (p44)]
94. Females and finances don't mix. [TFRA (p46)]
97. never enough. [TFRA (p47)]
98. Every man has his price. [Quark, "In The Pale Moonlight"]
99. Trust is the biggest liability of all. [TFRA (p48)]
102. Nature decays, latinum last forever. [Quark & Nog, "The Jem'Hadar"]
103. Sleep can interfere .... [cut off] [Pel, "Rules of Acquisition"]
104. Faith moves mountains...of inventory. [TFRA (p50)]
106. There is no honor in poverty. [TFRA (p51)]
109. Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack. [Quark, "Rivals"]
111. Treat people in your debt like family. Exploit them. [Ben Sisko, "Past Tense, Part I"]
112. Never have sex with the boss's sister. [Quark, "Playing God"]
113. Always have sex with the boss. [TFRA (p56)]
121. Everything is for sale, including friendship. [TFRA (p58)]
123. Even a blind man can recognize the glow of latinum. [TFRA (p59)]
139. Wives serve, brothers inherit. [Odo, "Necessary Evil"]
141. Only fools pay retail. [TFRA (p61)]
144. There's nothing wrong with long as it winds up in your pocket. [TFRA (p62)]
162. Even in the worst of times someone turns a profit. [TFRA (p63)]
177. Know your enemies...but do business with them always. [TFRA (p64)]
181. Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit. [TFRA (p65)]
189. Let others keep their reputation. You keep their money. [TFRA (p66)]
190. Hear all, trust nothing. [Ben Sisko & Nog, "A Call to Arms"]
192. Never cheat a Klingon...unless you're sure you can get away with it. [TFRA (p67)]
194. It's always good business to know about new customers before they walk in your door. [Quark, "Whispers"]
202. The justification of profit is profit. [TFRA (p69)]
203. New customers are like razor toothed gree worms, they can be succulent, but sometimes they bite back. [Rom, "Little Green Men"]
208. Sometimes the only thing more dangerous than a question is an answer. [Zek, "Ferengi Love Songs"]
211. Employees are the rungs on the ladder to success. Don't hesitate to step on them. [Frool, "The Bar Association"]
214. Never begin a business negotiation on an empty stomach. [Quark, "The Maquis Part I"]
217. You can't free a fish from water. [Quark, "Past Tense, Part I"]
218. Always know what you're buying. [TFRA (p71)]
223. Beware the man who doesn't make time for oo-mox. [TFRA (p72)]
229. Latinum lasts longer than lust. [TFRA (p74)]
236. You can't buy fate. [TFRA (p75)]
239. Never be afraid to mislabel a product. [Grand Nagus Gint, "Body Parts"]
242. More is good...all is better. [TFRA (p76)]
255. A wife is a luxury...a smart accountant a necessity. [TFRA (p77)]
261. A wealthy man can afford anything except a conscience. [TFRA (p78)]
263. Never allow doubt to tarnish your lust for latinum. [Rom, "The Bar Association"]
266. When in doubt, lie. [TFRA (p79)]
284. Deep down everyone's a Ferengi. [TFRA (p80)]
285. No good deed ever goes unpunished. [Quark, "The Collaborator"]

Revised for modern Ferengi:
1. If they want their money back, give it to them. [Quark, "Prophet Motive"]
10. Greed is dead. [Quark, "Prophet Motive"]
21. Never place profit before friendship. [Rom, "Prophet Motive"]
22. Latinum tarnishes, but family is forever. [Rom, "Prophet Motive"]
23. Money can never replace dignity. [Rom, "Prophet Motive"]
285. A good deed is its own reward. [Rom, "Prophet Motive"]

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