Whaddya mean you NEVER HEARD O'
THEM?
"Children, PLEASE!!!?!"
"Permission to land,
Tom"
Transcript of two film reels from the 1966 EAT THE DOCUMENT archives.
It's now 7am. The sun is up over Hyde
Park. The limousine trip is nearly over.
Lennon is stoned, but distinctly edgy.
Dylan is about to be sick. This is the
transcript of the two reels that were
judged too weird even for Eat The
Document.
Scene: the back of a limo.
Dramatis Personae: John Lennon, a
Beatle; Bob Dylan, a folk-rock
superstar; Bobby Neuwirth, friend of
Dylan's and temporary sound recordist;
D.A. Pennebaker, cinema verite
film-maker; Tom, a chauffeur; and R.
Stevie.
Time: early morning.
REEL ONE
Dylan: (peering out of a rainy window as
the great car rumbles down the road)
There's the mighty Thames. That's what
held Hitler back, the mighty Thames.
Winston Churchill said that. (To Tom,
the chauffeur) Tom, ain't that right?
(Louder) Ain't that right, Tom? Tom, I
think I'm gonna turn you into Tyrone
Power.
Lennon: Say that again, will you
Bob?
Dylan: Tom, I think I'm gonna turn you
into Ronald Coleman.
Lennon: That's better. That's very much
better.
Dylan: Reginald Young. Pee Weedsrom. Or
Sleepy John Estes, man. Or Robert
Johnson. Go to medical school like J.
Carroll Nash...
Lennon: Johnny Cash, or all the rest of
them.
Dylan: I have Johnny Cash in my film.
Are you gonna shit yourself when you see
it. You won't believe it.
Lennon: Hey! John's gonna shit
again!
Dylan: He doesn't know. You know what he
looks like, right, Johnny Cash? Have you
spent much time around him? He moves
great. He moves like that. (Makes Dave
Berry/human sloth-type gesture). (To
Pennebaker) You gotta cut that part of
the film, man, 'cos I really like him.
He moves like all good people. Like
prize fighters. (Smiles directly to
camera) Johnny!
Lennon: Johnny! Big River, Big River!
(Makes Macca-like thumbs aloft gesture
of approval)
Pennebaker: (Putting head around camera
and beaming) That's for Johnny, too!
R. Stevie: Cool.
Dylan: Yeah, he's on film too. He's
incredible.
Lennon: Quite a guy, huh?
Dylan: Quite a guy, John. Oh man, you
shoulda been around last night, John.
Today's a drag.
Lennon: Oh really, Bob?
Dylan: Haha! I wish I could talk
English, man.
Lennon: Me too, Bobby.
R. Stevie: Yeah.
Dylan: (Pointing to Lennon) He can talk
American. (To Tom) Hey, Tom, you've
heard me talk in English haven't you?
But I can't never do it around John
though because (behind back of hand)
John's such a great actor, man,
that...
Lennon: ...you can't believe that it's
me.
Dylan: Is this the mighty Thames, still,
Tom? (To Lennon) Remember when I played
you those tapes? Do you remember what
you said to me? I played you a song and
you said...what's the name of your song
publishing company?
Lennon: Rick James.
Dylan: Naw, naw. Is that the name of it?
That wasn't the name I heard.
Lennon: Northern Songs?
R. Stevie: Yup.
Dylan: Right, that was it. I said,
What's Northern Songs? And I was never
told, man. I had to go and find out.
Lennon: Didn't they tell you?
Dylan: No, man, they didn't tell me.
Someone said, You wanna be on Northern
Songs and you laughed and Paul McCartney
looked the other way and talked to
Ringo...
Lennon: ...and Mick Jagger...
Dylan: ...blew shit from his nose...
Lennon: ...and Rob Roy leapt into the
room with a big kilt on and said, Hey,
Bobby, have you heard this one?
Dylan: Haha! You haven't lived in Texas,
man. I read in the paper that George
Harrison spends a lot of time in the
States. You've learned a lot from
George.
Lennon: (In John Peel-style voice) Tell
me about The Mamas & Pappas, Bob. I
believe you're backing them bigly.
R. Stevie: Right.
Dylan: I knew it would get to that. I
knew it would get to that. Naw. You're
just interested in the big chick, right?
She's got hold of you too. She's got a
hold of everybody I know. Everybody asks
me the same thing. You're terrible,
man.
Lennon: Do you know Ralph Donner? He's
another great one.
Dylan: No, I only know the lesser known
ones.
R. Stevie: Like Roger.
Lennon: Barry McGuire's a great war
hero.
Dylan: Barry McGuire? He's a good friend
of yours, John, I understand.
Lennon: He met me through you, Bob,
remember that. He's a great buddy,
Sergeant Barry.
Dylan: Haha! Tell me about The
Silkies.
Lennon: Naw. We've missed all the good
'uns.
Dylan: Tell me about this pain in my
side.
Lennon: Why don't you take
something?
Dylan: I've taken a few milligrams of
Silkie once. (Dylan then tries to
recommence the previous, spectacularly
unsuccessful Barry McGuire routine).
Barry McGuire tells me he's a great
friend of yours.
Lennon: (In unmistakable Tito
Burns-style voice - see Don't Look Back)
Well, I hate to say this about Barry,
Bobby, but I don't know him at all
personally, but I did have a letter from
his manager saying he was very close to
you, being on the bosom of the current
folk-a-rock-a boom.
R. Stevie: Naw, naw, naw.
Dylan: Yes, yes.
Lennon: That's the first thing I did
hear about Barry himself.
Dylan: But you've never really exchanged
correspondence...(breaks off to address
Pennebaker, pointing out of the car
window) Oh, get those two lovers over
there...(To Lennon) You never did, as
one of your friends would wish you, you
never did meet the chap. Haha!
(Lennon is silent. Reel one ends.)
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