I am going to sing a little song to you
I know you'll like to hear it
But the quality of sound
is falling to the ground
It's the cheapest sound in town for sure

Oh no
Here I go again
Here comes another
Technical difficulty
I should erase the whole thing
There's something sad here

Help me
Here I go
Another composition
that should see the studio

Man this is a drag
Sit back and think while I light a fag
Send me to Jamaica in a plastic bag
Put me in a store with a high price tag

Goodbye
I'm gonna turn my stereo completely off
and I will never attempt to impress you again
Okay? Good. Don't be ridiculous.

©1978 r.stevie moore


05. BUT YOU LOVE ME, DADDY

Your five year old face is a dirty disgrace
(Son): But you love me Daddy
You scatter your toys and you make too much noise
(Son): But you love me Daddy
You know, little lad, you can be pretty bad
(Son): But you love me Daddy
You wake me at dawn when I want to sleep on
(Son): But you love me Daddy

Now you eat the cookies when I tell you no
(Son): But you love me Daddy, 'cause you tell me so
You're so hard to scold 'cause you're my five year old
(Son): And 'cause you love me Daddy

When I dress you up you go play with the pup
(Son): But you love me Daddy
When I use the phone you won't leave me alone
(Son): But you love me Daddy
You make sister wail pulling her pony tail
(Son): But you love me Daddy
You scratch up the floor and you write on the door
(Son): But you love me Daddy

You ask foolish questions, now you know that's true
(Son): But you love me Daddy, now you know you do!
You're so hard to scold 'cause you're my five year old
(Son): And 'cause you love me Daddy

©1959 Kathryn Twitty


06. CEASE ALL RELATIONSHIPS (Phlegm Soundtrack)

©1997 r.stevie moore


07. WHY AM I HERE?

  Sometimes I feel like I don't belong
completely out of place
Like I'm from some other planet
or another time and space
Everybody in the world's
in on the joke except for me
I'm a stranger to myself
and even to my family

I must be from another land
somewhere far beyond the sea It ain't nothing like New Jersey
but it's not unlike Tennessee

Where am I from?
Where should I be?
My purpose in this life
is still a mystery to me
Why am I here?
I sure don't know
If I knew where I was meant to be
that's right where I would go

If women are from Venus
I must be the man from Mars
The alien, no, not the one
who makes those candy bars
My baby she done left me
and I could not tell you why
Unless, of course, she thought
that it was time to say goodbye

I hope it won't be long
before I figure out my fate
Should I stay or should I go?
I just can't seem to get it straight

Where am I from?
Where should I be?
My purpose in this life
is still a mystery to me
Why am I here?
I sure don't know
If I knew where I was meant to be
that's right where I would go

There's got to be some reason
got to be some rhyme
Some purpose and some meaning
for this crazy life of mine

I wanna jump into a fast black car
and drive to I don't care
Just to leave behind this feeling
that I don't belong nowhere
Tell me what I have in common
with the petty bourgeoisie
Tell me that I'm not
some interplanetary refugee

Please tell me that you love me
that we stand on common ground
Please let me know somehow
that I should even be around

©2004 ferguson/anderson


08. ADULT TREE

Seeing you comma being me
How do you say shopping spree?
Let's entwine, ooh touch so divine
Just get me home by suppertime

Loving wife, canine pee
But your adult tree is growing on me
Growing on me

Just a lark, I believe it's just a spark
Good for my soul soul so so bad for my heart
Biding my time, hassling with frozen rhyme
You'll come around when you feel like mine

Is it alright tonight if we stay out of sight?
Is it alright tonight if we stay out of sight?
It'll turn out alright if we don't die of fright

Darling, forever we shall be
Until there's no more time for eternity
And that stormy day, as roses wilt
And the sunlight in your eyes has been...
How do you say...irreflected
The moment that it is shown that our souls could not,
Heaven forbid,
Coalesce...
And you show me that your total cooperation is exhausted:
Get the shit out of here
Now

©1974 r.stevie moore/billy anderson


09. TRADED MY HEART FOR YOUR PARTS

thighs and calves
wholes and halves
chins and grins
hips and lips

t m h f y p

calves and thighs
ears and eyes
toes and knees
all of these

traded my heart for your parts
traded my heart for your parts

neck and hair
blood and guts
arms and wrists
all of this

traded my heart for your parts
traded my heart for your parts

tongue and teeth
legs and cheeks
brows and nose
all of those

traded my heart for your parts
traded my heart for your parts
even exchange

©1993 r.stevie moore


10. I'VE BEGUN TO FALL IN LOVE (Midi-Bran Piano Roll)

©1975 r.stevie moore


11. YOU MUST BE OUT OF MY MIND

ANALYZE AND INTERPRET
EMPHASIZE WHEN CRITICIZING
INTERPRET THE CULPRIT
THE CULPRIT OF LINGO
ALTOIDS CHARLES LLOYD
PARDO
BORDEAUX POLICY
THAT'S NO FALLACY
MY HOMIES CALL ME SPEEDO
BUT MY REAL NAME IS MR. EARL
I AM TRULY SORRY
OBSTINATO BRONCO
YOU MUST BE OUTTA MY MIND

DSC00183.JPEG PUNGENT STENCH
UNEMPLOYED MUSICIANS UNION
LOCAL 257
FEDERAL CATASTROPHY SHOP
BAREFOOT 7
THAT'S BEEN THERE FOREVER
BY 'FOREVER' I MEAN: SUBMIT FORM
BY 'FOREVER' I MEAN:
QUITE A WHILE, A COUNTRY MILE
WEST NILE VIRUS AMONG US
IN SPITE OF US
BECAUSE OF US
LONG WAY HOME

ANALYZE AND COMPETMENTALIZE
VAPORIZE THE SANSCRIT HEATHKIT
TOWERING IN FERMO DE PASQUO
AWAY!
J-LOVE STANG GANGSTAR
WHERE DOES HE GET OFF?
JACK OFF

CHURCH OF GOD OF PROPHECY
VILLAGE IDIOT MY BROTHERMAN
AIN'T THIS SOMETHIN!
YOU BEAT ALL, YOU KNOW THAT?
I'LL SCRATCH YOUR HEAD
IF YOU'LL SCRATCH MINE
MULCH
KEEP OUT
Y'ALL KNOW WHAT?
Y'ALL KNOW WHATT??
C H I C K E N B U T T

YOU MUST BE OUT OF MY MIND
I CAN'T MAKE ONE GODDAMN SUGGESTION
WITHOUT SEEKING YER ALLKNOWING APPROVAL
GENERATOR SEZ:
TURN ON YOUR LOVELIGHT
RAY PRICE THAT'S NICE
CAFE PRESS MORE OR LESS
LESS IS MORE
SURVEY SEZ:
MEET AN INMATE
MYFIRSTBAND.COM
DADDY'S HOME
YOU'VE BEEN SELECTED
TO RECEIVE A
FREE SUCCESS PACK
NU YAWK SEX MUSEUM

A FEW PICSWAY A A IS
BIC VENTURI DORIGHT
JACK OFF
IT'S GETTING TO THE POINT
WHERE I'M NO FUN ANYMORE
RSTEVIEMOORE
I LOVE YOU BOBBY MARSTON
CAUSE IT WAS BOTHERIN' ME

CASTLESMAN'S HALF PINT
DUDLEY FIELD CLINIC BOWL
BULBOUS CALLOUS MALICE
MY CALORIE BURROUGHS MOORE
DUDLEY MOORE
DUDLEY DORIGHT
STEVIE MURDERED YOUR BASS
SHIT HAPPENS
EIGHT DOLLAR MULCH
BIONIC BARNEY BOOGER BREAKS
MARYLAND SNIPERS
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING
YOU MUST BE OUT OF MY MIND

HYPNOTIZE AND INTERPRET:
"STANG IN THE HIZZIE
GETTIN' BUSY
GETTIN' DIZZY
RIDIN' 'ROUND TOWN
IN MY LOWRIDER TIN LIZZIE
STANGO CERRITO
NO HABLA ESPANOL
DON'T KNOW WHERE I GO
WITH MY AMIGOS
AMIGO CRAZY
AMIGO SILLY
HIS NAME'S NOT BILL
IT'S ACTUALLY BILLY
WHATEVER, STEVE
I GUESS I AIN'T WORTHY
LEAVE ME ALONE AND
GO BACK TO NEW JERSEY !
THAT'S RIGHT
WHYNCH YOU TAKE A PLANE OUT
BEFORE I GET THE STANG OUT
Y'KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN'?
WORD."

ATTACK A RACK OF
CENTERPOINT BARBECUE RIBS
TIM ROSE BOWL
NEWBERRY'S
SHOTGUN!
RED?
SHOGUN INSTEAD
YOU AND YOUR BREAD
I LOVE YOU BOBBY WATRALL

"TODAY'S SUNDAY
TOMORROW I'M GOING HOME
I JUST WOKE UP
SO LEAVE ME ALONE."

GAWW!
CHERRY COLE SLAW
MICKEY NEWBERRY'S OLD
WHEN YOU TALK
I THINK MOST OF THE PEEPS
HEARING YOU
(CLINT!)
SCRATCH THEIR HEADS
TOASTED MARSHMALLOW BEETS
RAZORBACKS & DIAMONDBACKS
JACK OFF
HOW CAN U MEND A BROKEN HEART
BY SMOKING CIGARETTES AGAIN?
AWAY!

ANALYZE AND MISINTERPRET
NATASHA AND FERNANDO
A CLEVER COMBO
VANILLA BEAN
JUST LAYING THERE
THEY RUINED HIS HAIR
DEREK AND CLIVE STAYIN' ALIVE
CUTS LIKE A KNIFE
KITCHEN HOUSEWIFE
TAKE YOUR OWN LIFE
AWAY
I'LL GO TO THE STORE
WHAT R WE WAITIN' 4?
LOOK
NO ONE WANTS YOU
RIPPING OFF THEIR IMAGES

GILLIAN WELCH GRAPE JUICE FONDUE
THAT'S WHY I SAID IT'S NEVER DONE
HIT AND RUN
SIX OVERTIMES
WHERE THE BLACKTOP BENDS
BLENDS INTO THE MOST
BEAUTIFUL STITCH THREAD
TAPESTRY ODE

ECONOLINE BACKER CRACKER
ST. ARKANSAS
MY SOCIAL LIFE'S A DUD
MY NAME IS REALLY MUD
AND THAT AIN'T RIGHT
TECHNO FUCKIN' FRUITCAKE
CHARITY CARE
BOTCHED COLONOSCOPY PREP
PUSH EM BACK PUSH EM BACK
WAY BACK
MULCH

OVERT OBSERVATION
COVERT OPERATION
DON'T U REMEMBER U TOLD ME
U LOVED ME BAYBAY?

©2002 r.stevie moore


12. YOU AND ME

you and me at eleven o'clock
try to lengthen the time
cause i love you and i love you
and i really hate to go
but at least by now you know i'm your boy

you and me at eleven o'clock
listen to our last song
cause i love you and i love you
and i really hate to go
every day i love you more, lovely chicken
i wish that i could stay all the day

you and me at the curfew hour
i don't want you to cry
cause i love you and i'll miss you
cause i really hate to go
but at least by now you know i'm your boy
he's your boy

don't want to get you in trouble
oh no no
don't want to see you in shambles

standing up at eleven o'clock
wipe the tears from your eyes
cause i love you and i love you
and i really hate to go
cause i realize it so
you and me

©1975 r.stevie moore


13. JESSICA SANDWICH

RSM: Hey, where did we get that record from?

IC: Shut up! Just came in today, uh, TK didn't want me to let you have it. So he gave it to me, he didn't wanna let you see it.

FB: Huh? Say that again.

IC: Shut up!! Just came in today! TK didn't want me to let you see it!

JP: Plintiff! And give the little girl what she asks for.

RSM: And what, may I enquire, gives you the impression I'm a 'she'?

FB: He might've seen your quim!

IC: Terry? Do, do you like us?

TKF: I only like 'her' (points to RSM).

RSM: Hey, come on, you guys! How in the world could I have a voice like this if I were a girl? I mean, everytime it's like...

FB: Look, we cannot help but wonder when we see such a smooth genitalia!

JP: I always noticed it!

CB: Come here, honey! Let's see what honky tonk angels are *really* made of!

RSM: Cut it out!!

IC: Remember when I sported a beard?

FB: Rub it on her!

RSM: STOP IT! Just... Leave... Me... ALONE!!

IC: Now, this boota's really consistent, it reminds me of that Maxwells incident. Do you think anyone ever caught on to Burt Reynolds in the White House?

RSM: Hey, hands off my pants!! You crazy???? (pause) Look, I'll prove it to ya! (reveals manhood) See? Look at this THANG!

TKF: It's FAKE!

FB: Maaan, that turns me off!

RSM: Whadda you mean?

IC: Hold it, hold it! MCA Records is here! Everybody sing!

CB: 1-2-

ALL (in unison):
"She is a modern chickadee
With a hot dog and needle and thread
Fashion plate lady of all dreams
I am not amused, I am not refused service
But, then, yet...
Jessica Sandwich
Woe is me boota
West Caldwell."

©1983 boota theatre


14. SIGNAL

I want to know if you love me
I need a signal
I want to know if you need me
I want a signal

©1986 r.stevie moore


15. RECORDS

records are so much fun
records are second to none

records are the way i choose
to entertain myself
records are neat
sounding unbeatable

records look so good and yet
they take so little space
records are here
nothing there to erase

records make a man into
a world celebrity
records are good
records are right for me

records are so much fun
records are second to none
records are so much fun
records are second to none
play

hey, why's everybody watchin tv?
i got some records, people
very good

records are so much fun
records are second to none
records are so much fun
records are second to none

©1977 r.stevie moore


16. A WHITER SHADE OF PALE

We skipped the light fandango
turned cartwheels 'cross the floor
I was feeling kinda seasick
but the crowd called out for more
The room was humming harder
as the ceiling flew away
When we called out for another drink
the waiter brought a tray

And so it was that later
as the miller told his tale
That her face, at first just ghostly
turned a whiter shade of pale

She said, 'There is no reason
and the truth is plain to see.'
But I wandered through my poker game
and would not let her be be
one of sixteen vestal virgins
who were leaving for the coast
And although my eyes were open
they might have just as well've been closed

She said, 'I'm home on shore leave,'
though in truth we were at sea
So I took her by the looking glass
and forced her to agree
Saying, 'You must be the mermaid
who took Neptune for a ride.'
But she smiled at me so sadly
that my anger straightway died

If music be the food of love
then laughter is its queen
And likewise if behind is in front
then dirt, in truth, is clean
My mouth by then like cardboard
seemed to slip straight through my head
So we crash-dived straightway quickly
and attacked the ocean bed.

©1967 brooker/reid


17. GREASE THEME

we sit sleeping with our girls and
we'll start a fried chicken joint
we'll show minnie pearl & colonel sanders

we can dishwash busboys who gives a darn
sack food for any a & p
we'll get money if we have to steal it

we can get a phony orchestration
a rock 'n rollin group we'll be the best
we can buy some drums & lectric guitars
we can learn some songs we can
we will have a good rock band

cause we will ask for cheerful advice
from all our pals at the studios
like kitty wells
roy acuff or
even elvis presley
or maybe bill dees
or even bobby moore
now wouldn't that be a treat
for all us boys?

but till we can get work
and make lots of bread
we'll have to cut our greasy hair
then at least we'll make the basketball team

don't you think it's cool to have a crewcut
or wearing buckle shoes with white socks
don't you ever wish you were a baby
eating gerber's baby food
in a crib all in the nude

and getting your diaper changed
even when it's full

very deliciously tasted
campbell's chicken soup
300 bucks spent but wasted
wish we had it back
oh lost my girlfriend
oh this is the end
oh my corvair has four flat tires

©1968 r.stevie moore


18. PHILOSOPHY OF THE WORLD

Oh, the rich people want what the poor people's got
And the poor people want what the rich people's got
And the skinny people want what the fat people's got
And the fat people want what the skinny people's got
You can never please anybody in this world

The short people want what the tall people's got
And the tall people want what the short people's got
The little kids want what the big kid's got
And the big kids want what the little kid's got
You can never please anybody in this world

Oh, the girls with short hair want long hair
And the girls with long hair want short hair
Oh, the boys with cars want motorcycles
And the boys with motorcycles want cars
You can never please anybody in this world

It doesn't matter what you do
It doesn't matter what you say
There will always be
One who wants things the opposite way
It doesn't matter where you go
It doesn't matter who you see
There will always be
Someone who disagrees
We do our best
We try to please
But we're like the rest
Whenever at ease

Oh, the rich people want what the poor people's got
And the poor people want what the rich people's got
And the skinny people want what the fat people's got
And the fat people want what the skinny people's got
You can never please anybody in this world

©1969 dot wiggin


19. PRAYER PATHETIQUE

Our dear and precious Lord Jesus, let me praise thee for this genuine opportunity to speak with thee on this lovely Monday evening. Oh Christ, bless us with your love and your path towards everlasting life in thy wonderful kingdom above. (Here, Here!) Lord Jesus, please remember our blessed Reverend Miller. Please touch his body, dear Jesus, and make it welt, for he has lived thy heavenly creed for forty of his last forty years. And though his body is unsuitable for thy restoration, Lord bless his heart with thy inimitable care. Remember, dear Savior, your traditional forgiveness for our many sins, and cleanse our minds of any dreadful thoughts which may call to our minds' telephones. Sweet Jesus, don't let us answer. Watch over us, day and night, and lead us toward that castle of spiritual riches, that Divine Impresario, where thy guidance and love can awaiting on us all. In the Lord Jesus Christ's blessed name... let us not forget his progress in Gash Falls, Virginia either... AMEN.

©1972 r.stevie moore



[TT=71:30]

All compositions (except a couple) published exclusively by Spunky Monkey Music (ASCAP)

Dedicated to a hero, Bob Keeshan (RIP, 22-1-04)