hi it's great to be back with you
i am feeling well
mind if i just sing
i'll start upon hearing the bell

mummy's baking birthday bread
and daddy's drink destroys his head
and little distant cousin's asleep
but i'm a cool daddio
bubba's busy masturbating
sissy's sewing sweaters
so her fine fiance fits in the sheep
but i'm a cool daddio

you should see my fancy outfit
you should see their eyes

mummy's polishing pottery
and daddy wins the lottery
and grandma's little nephew's in bed
but i'm a cool daddio
bubba's boring barbara
and sissy's in the shower
shaving stubbles like her fiance said
cool daddio, that's me

i'm so debonair
but i don't care to stick around
so i'm gettin' outta here

mummy begs for me to stay
and daddy says to go away
and little distant cousin woke up
yet i'm a cool daddio

everyone just settle down
and listen to my song

bubba's breaking bureau shelves
and sissy is proud of herself
because her fiance is choked up
cool daddio, i'm just a...


DELICATE TENSION
(instrumental)


SCHOOLGIRL

schoolgirl study for your test
would you rather pass than
make a pass at me
you whoa whoa schoolgirl

i am working overtime
just to try to make you mine
little student, listen to me
every available time
schoolgirl i love you
schoolgirl

schoolgirl touching every book
do you dream in class that
you could last with me
you whoa whoa little schoolgirl

chemistry just ain't your style
pay attention to my smile
pretty pupil, listen to me
every available night
schoolgirl i love you
schoolgirl

schoolgirl talking to me less
would you rather fail than
give some tail to me
you whoa whoa
little schoolgirl
you're gonna make me try to kill myself


DON'T BLAME THE KNICKERS

i don't know what i say about
the current trend that's sweeping U.S.
what happened to the good ole days
when it was soul music to us?

i hate the disco
i despise the fashion
and if you want to know
i have no reaction
when it's on the speakers
i don't care to listen
and if you want to know
i have no opinion

blame it on the bee gees
or sly and the family stone
or blame donna summer
or earth wind and fire
or blame otis redding
kc and the sunshine
or barry white or meco
or blame john travolta

don't blame the knickers
don't blame the knickers

forget the clavinet
forget the synthesizer bass
and the strings
forget that stupid beat
they are putting in on everythings

blame it on boz scaggs
or the ohio players
accuse wilson pickett
or diana ross
or blame harold melvin
and the stylistics
it's all wild cherry's fault
or you could blame aretha

blame all the movies
the hype and the public
or blame all the ladies
for tempting the fellows
accuse everybody
for letting it happen
you are the culprit
i am also guilty

i hate the disco
i despise the fashion

don't blame the knickers


ZEBRA STANDARDS 29

who am i to say that you're mine
you're educated most of the time
when am i supposed to be nice
my zebra standards 29

i'm shoving you off the plane
but you won't let go
i push your face
but you bite my fingers

who am i to want to have sex
you're independent your feelings are mixed
what would happen if we had wine
my zebra standard's a fine wine
drink it sometime and you will find
your distant mind
will go into a world of many pleasures
full of spice

the place for savin' money, sonny's chevrolet
227-6127 has been disconnected

GF: ah, look at that, there's your first call
JP: right. hi, fmu, you're on the air
Caller: uh, you have a inferiority complex
JP: i know, i know, i know...well, it's uh, it only happens when i'm kind of around giants, like r. stevie moore, and some other people...
Caller: r. stevie moore's great, but he can't be on all the time
JP: yeah i know, yeah he's not everything, but...just y'know tonight i'm just kinda feeling that way because he's just so spectacular and seems to say all the right things...uh...
Caller: that's cool. you're good, too!
JP: you think so!?
Caller: yeah!
JP: oh! thank you!
JP: wonderful! thanks for calling!
Caller: aw, sure!
JP: good night!
GF: wow, see that, jimmy? what'd i tell ya?
JP: i feel a lot better, a hundred percent! stevie, you're not everything, you know that? hah, yeah!

Side Two

OH PAT

pat i love you too much
pat you're losing your touch
girl i'm freezing my ass
turn up the thermostat

oh pat
i like it like that
oh pat
i like it like that
oh pat
you're freezing my ass
turn up
the thermostat


APROPOS JOE

you know what he want
you know what he need
he want you to go
you want him to leave
but he don't have a home
he lives with you
i don't understand what
y'all are going through

i wish i didn't know apropos joe
i wish i hadn't have considered
apropos joe
oh no

you are quite a mess
you are full of shit
you are retarded
he informed me it
you like debby boone
he like the ramones
i don't understand why
you two have a phone

he don't use a condom
you had an abortion
you fixed him a drink
containing jergens lotion
it happened
but he made it happen

now you both are enemies
now you both are friends
you don't expect your
adolescent troubles to end
it's happening
you wish it weren't happening


FUNNY CHILD

i met a bony little boy today
his skin was blistered and his face was gray
he had a tuba and he tried to play taps

he went away and then he ran right back
and when he smiled at me his teeth were black
he kept his horn inside a navy knapsack

funny child you're the one
who keeps me from having fun
just because you're my son

there was a time when i was always scared
i had to take my brain to be repaired
and you were checking to see how i fared, yes

i saw the skinny little boy again
he wants to join the ku klux klan
i told him if he was a real man, wait

he tried to fly away but fell to ground
you shoulda heard how the band sounds
the little kid's in the dog pound
indefinitely


NORWAY

i had a quick lunch, then i drove off
it was a very bizarre departure from your house
the weather was beautiful
i stopped to call you and you said yes
you were nevertheless optimistic of our love,
but

when you're not around me, i get blue
i can't begin describing it to you, no
i feel a kind of invisible pain
without you there's no reasonable gain
norway norway norway

i've begun to dwell in misery
if only it was you that i could see, though
i feel a kind of unthinkable fear
there's no desire to live without you here
norway norway norway

i'm eating breakfast all by myself
it is a typically bland existence without you
filling the coffee cup


THIS WEDNESDAY

what am i gonna do this wednesday
when my girl comes over
will i be disappointed this thursday
will i have to call orville stoeber?

will i be in tune this wednesday
you've gone back to sweden
can i get back in touch with you saturday
this is robert steven

more and more each day i wonder
how to get you to love
me and you, we should not fall in love
i love you anyway

more and more i dread this wednesday
without amy


SOME VOICES

Johna Lynn: well, it's not so obvious if the tape recorder wasn't going around, if you had a dust cover...
Bob Moore: where's the doggie? Say, 'doggie.'
Mike Burroughs: well-liked by all the youngsters of this city
Gene Lazo: and you always want what you don't have
Victor Lovera: yeh, I been in Tennessee a long time.
WMSC DJs: so why shouldn't HE do it? right...
Max Wermuth: well, it's thick, but
Jim Price: well, I still don't know if I like it
Harry Palmer: no, it just surprised me, I was expecting you to come over after work
Irwin Chusid: No! you're not supposed to clean a record off while it's playing, stupid!
Kids: your butt! (laughter)
Jim Coffman: wednesday: cloudy, chance of snow
Mel Cheplowitz: or uh record over it, you know, use different tape to send me the show, but
Erica Leeson: that was two years ago, Margot...

any kind of problem at the horizontal hideaway
rapidly becomes a figment of your dream
everyone is there and everyone is very peaceful
they are open anytime from 10 til 3

any kind of problem at the horizontal hideaway
rapidly becomes a figment of your dream
everyone is there and everyone is very peaceful
they are open anytime from 10 til 3


DON'T LET ME GO TO THE DOGS

...which brings us to this next song:
one that inadequately describes
local canine consideration
as witnessed by us all
1-2-3-and-4

i was under duress
when i said i was mad
i was sad
i'm sorry i broke your heart
when i said you were had
you were bad

oh no
don't let me go to the dogs
when i desire to spend my whole life with you
oh no
don't go away with your dogs

people are not exactly
what they do believe
they perceive
when will i teach myself
when to stay when to leave
ask the beave (beaver!)

oh no
don't let me go to the dogs
when i desire to spend my whole life with you
oh no
don't go away with your dogs

yes, l's and g's
at last we have found metaphorical reference
with which our great country may be synthesized

funny you mention life
after death, 'cause i know
where to go
we could go down to the
pound where the puppies can grow
very slow

oh no
don't let me go to the dogs
when i desire to spend my whole life with you
oh no
don't go away with your dogs

let me have 'em

it's good you do exactly
what you really want to do
because it's true you have a prospect
who's more beautiful than you


MANUFACTURERS

me wanna dance with you baby
at the manufacturers
me wanna throw you on the floor
where they make the goods

me wanna take you
toxic rock and roll
me wanna make you
manufacture you

me wanna hunch on your body
at the manufacturers
me wanna put you on assembly line
construct a mold and make you good

me wanna take you
talk some rock and roll
me wanna make you
manufacture you

me wanna dance with you baby
at the manufacturers
at the manufacturers



(Cordelia 2004 reissue bonus tracks:)

MY LITTLE AUTOMOBILE IS SAD

now it's different, ya know? i sit here in my
car and carefully insert the key, and it hits me:
i'm out of gas, so i'm not going anywhere.
and why don't you come pick me up for a change?
use your chevy, i'll give you a dollar. and
it's not *that* far to chattanooga... listen:

you told me tuesday
you owed me one
so how 'bout taking advantage
of what i've done?

so, pretty little lady
you turn me on so much that
my little automobile is sad

and when the radiator leaks
i know it's crying
i'm heartbroken when my engine block cracks

i love you so much
i even love you more than you love me
can't you see, without your lips i am miserable
without your hand to hold i'm psychotic
without your bags in my trunk
i cry and cry and cry
don't say goodbye
darling, sweetheart, cutie pie
my most precious loved one

so, pretty little lady
you turn me on so much that
my little automobile is sad

meep meep!

CAFFEINE BOY

what does it mean, i'm a caffeine boy
does it suggest i'm hooked with a disease?
little brown bean had a caffeine ploy
and made me tumble down upon my knees

coffee every morning goes so well
i would think
when i rise, my sleepy eyes must drink

have you ever seen any caffeine boys?
do you remember if they had a dream?
chubby or lean, was their caffeine joy
because of sugar or because of cream?
or both?

coffee every morning goes so well
i would think
when i rise, my sleepy eyes must drink

good to the last drop

LET'S

(it's 10:40 on this sunny memorial day
WHY-FM
and we switch now from scandinavian jazz
to an artist who's been breaking
some really new ground lately
from nashville tennessee
here's the stevie moore trio with "let's")

let's try to understand
why we have so many problems
we cannot solve
let's define what it is
that makes our world revolve
let's never underestimate what
we can do to rise up above
let's avoid overcomplicating
reasons we're in love

come here, baby, i wanna tell you somethin'
if we do things together,
our chances of success are better

let's watch some television
to relieve our conflict, channel 9
let's try to get ahead
before we start to fall behind

let's go out and get some fresh air
we could catch a movie or a bite
let's visit uncle jay
he's expecting us tonight
let's learn about the seventies
so we can make the eighties right

let's move on
let's move on
let's move on
let's move on

THINKING

i do a lot of thinking
thinking 'bout the way i think
concentration's great, i think
i don't think i'm unthinkable

i do a lot of drinking
thinking 'bout the way i drink
hanging my head in the sink
i don't think i'm unsinkable

i'm deciding topics to discuss
with myself
and i find so many subjects i can't think
no no no
oh no oh no no no no

i don't do much conversing
cursing 'bout the way i curse
conversations with my nurse
i don't talk about my thinking

i'm deciding topics to discuss
with myself
and i find so many subjects i can't think
oh no no
oh no oh no no no no

i'm deciding topics to discuss
with myself
and i find so many subjects i can't think
oh no no
oh no oh no no no no

i'm deciding topics to discuss
with myself
and i find so many subjects i can't think
no no no
oh no oh no no no no

i'm deciding topics to discuss
with myself
and i find so many subjects i can't think
no no no no no

i do a lot of wondering
pondering 'bout the way i plan
"do you have a goal, young man?"
i don't think about my thinking

situation comedy tonight
with myself
it's a situation comedy tonight
oh no no
no no no no no no no

situation comedy tonight
with myself
it's a situation comedy tonight
oh no no no

NEW STRINGS

new strings
new strings
new strings
they ring out like the finest, oo hoo
an intonated dynasty knew
have you seen what's behind us?

the old ones had deposits of gunk
i beat them hard but they had no sound
the moisture in the air made them rust
they didn't want my fingers around them

new strings
new strings
new strings
they ring out like the finest

the days were passing by without change
my four guitars were growing gray hair
i felt just like the father of sons
but they were worried i did not care for

new strings
new strings
new strings

i purchased 22 different gauges
now things are getting better once more
our family has a flat wound feeling
they're singing prettier than before the...

new strings
new strings
new strings
they ring out like the finest, oo hoo
an intonated dynasty knew
have you seen what's behind us?

new strings
new strings
new strings
have you seen what's behind us? oo hoo
an intonated dynasty knew
they ring out like the finest

BULK OF KNOWLEDGE

hey, you big ole hulk of woman
you drive me wild
now, you make me feel just like
an aborted child

but every day when breezes
blow upon the earth
i get a whimsical desire
to try for all it's worth

to somehow create illusions
in my ordinary life
that make a fascinating story of you
becoming my wife

hey, you big ole bulk of knowledge
if you're so smart, tell me
why am i forbidden in your heart? why?

how i'll ever convince you
i'm serious at last
is quite a challenge to my future
so i say, fuck the past!

hey, you big ole bulk of knowledge
if you're so smart
why am i forbidden in your heart?
you gotta answer that.

ADJACENT SPECIES LIKE YOU

goodnight butterfly goodnight
you're floating on a bed of air
i don't know too many
adjacent species like you
adjacent species like you
adjacent species likes you
adjacent species like you
adjacent species

i don't know too many
adjacent species like you
adjacent species like you

do right, bumble bee do right
and make my little honey sweet
i don't know too many
adjacent species like you
adjacent species like you
adjacent species like you

goodnight butterfly goodnight
and spend your summer fruitfully
i don't know too many
adjacent species like you
adjacent species like you
adjacent species

all songs copyright ©r.stevie moore
h.p. music/spunky monkey music (ascap)

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