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01 SCHWANN CATALOG (Yung/Moore)

Went to the lake, rented a boat
Black inner tube keeping me afloat
Paddles and oars, pushed from the docks
Over the waves, water on the rockefeller.

Over under sideways and down
Going up the staircase around
Righteous opinions and your condescending stance
Couldn't prevent this old sailor from dancing alone
Over under sideways down
Going up that scarecase around
I just been living with an odyssey of pants
Wouldn't expect you to favor my hands.

Man overboard, struggle for air
Lifeguard is here, pulls him by the hair
Back to the shore, he nearly drowned
But he'll be okay, gives him mouth to mouth.

Minnows and worms, fishing supplies
Hook, rod and line - what a big surprise
Tackle and reel, scaling a trout
Nautical girl, give me mouth to mouth resuscitation.

Over under sideways and down
Going up the staircase around
Righteous opinions and your condescending stance
Couldn't prevent this old sailor from dancing away Over under sideways and down
Going up the staircase around
We just been living in an odyssey of pants
Wouldn't expect me to favor my hands.

Schwann Catalogue?
In the hallway, use the Phonolog
Schwanns?
Sewanee swans?
Use the other big book.
Do you think I found the number?
Do you see if the label is listed?
Is it in stereo or mono?
Quadrophonic 8-track is not available.
You can go to the Artist section, and
Cross reference with the album in question.
Here's the answer: Schwanns.

02 I WISH MARVIN GAYE'S FATHER HAD SHOT ME INSTEAD (Yung/Jenkins 1987)

I dreamed that I was speaking in the House of Lords
And I was heckled by a porcupine
I was naked and I had no arms
Dancing to "I Heard It Through the Grapevine"

Woke up perspiring and picked up the phone
Someone told me Marvin Gaye was dead
I felt so bad I felt like suicide
I wished Marvin's father had killed me instead

I closed the wardrobe door and that was that
But wild erotic fantasies concerning Postman Pat
Would not leave my head while I was in the shower
As I defaced the picture of him on my talcum powder

As I reached for my clothes the Prince of Darkness then
Appeared to me amongst my underwear
I closed my eyes and found he was still there
With flecks of foam around his lips and barking

An angel burned the day that Marvin died
Like egg encrusted helicopters falling from the sky
God spoke to us and we were mystified
When all around us eggs were hatching little wailing demons

An angel burned the day that Marvin died
Like egg encrusted helicopters falling from the sky
God spoke to us and we were mystified
When all around us it was twenty years ago today.

03 ON THE BENCH (Lovera 1980)

Dear girl, I'm here on the edge
I'm sitting here on the edge of the bench
I always come when there's nobody here
But wouldn't it, dear, be nice if you

Loved me, there's nobody else
I'm like a car with the battery down
And so I sit on the edge of the bench
Eating my lunch, like broken hearts say:

They're always like me
True, I haven't a chance
Yes, I feel like a bee
When the flowers are gone

Wednesday I pay all my bills
I take the bus 'cause I don't like the hills
And if I happen to see you again
The driver's my friend, and he tells me:

Say, they're always like me
True, I haven't a chance
Yes, I feel like a bee
When the flowers are gone

Someday I'll go far away
But then I'll sit on the edge of the bench
And think of you when I'm breathing the air
And with every breath, I wish it was you.

04 DIVORCE COURT (Yung/Moore)

She's acting strangely
I'm wearing paisley
Our years of raging love are through

I miss the old days
Long before Coldplay
We lost our eBay password

It's so despairing
She stopped her caring
For Fred Astaire and Ginger too

So scared to be tossed
Out on the street crosswalk
I might get run over

Your honor, I object!

Kid stuff abandoned
Now I'm Ralph Kramden
She found a stand-in substitute

Ears got tinnitus
Here comes arthritis
If you don't think that I'm sick, you're sick

I end up too drunk
She's in a blue funk
Sleepin' by a tree trunk breaks the law

She was my honey
Back when I had money
Now it's not funny paper

When will Chris Sievey
Email R. Stevie?
Send Jim McGreevey Timbuk 3

Oh marriage counselor!
I have an announcement:
Our love has bounced its checkbook

Your honor, I object!

Where do I sign to
Keep my dear wife who
Saved my poor life from homelessness?

No pokin' 'round her
Hotmail account, sir
In Student Council we don't do that

She claims I said things
Cruel to her heartstrings
Our separate beds sing sad songs

This tape machinist
Can't take his penis
Seriously? This is untrue

This makes my friends mad
Intelligence hath
Turned violence half-crazy

Your honor, I object!

Can't we start over?
Crimson and clover
White Cliffs of Dover, Kent UK

Oh marriage counselor!
I have an announcement:
Our children trounced their textbooks.
Objection overruled.

05 NORWAY (Moore 1978)

I had a quick lunch, then I drove off
It was a very bizarre departure from your house
The weather was beautiful
I stopped to call you and you said yes
You were nevertheless optimistic of our love,
but

When you're not around me, I get blue
I can't begin describing it to you, no
I feel a kind of invisible pain
Without you there's no reasonable gain
Norway Norway Norway

I've begun to dwell in misery
If only it was you that I could see, though
I feel a kind of unthinkable fear
There's no desire to live without you here
Norway Norway Norway

I'm eating breakfast all by myself
It is a typically bland existence without you
Filling the coffee cup.

06 NAME TAG THE ENTERTAINER TAKE 12 (Yung/Moore)

Love without life
Life without love
Tell me which one to choose of
It's a no brainer (if I only had a brain)
If only you'd take my name tag

Day without night
Night without day
Tell me which one to think of
The entertainer never learned to entertain
If only I took the blame

Love without life
Life without love
Tell me which one to choose of
It's a no brainer (if I only had a brain)
If only you'd take my name tag

Day without night
Night without day
Tell me which one to think of
The entertainer never learned to entertain
If only I took the blame

Love without life
Life without love
Tell me which one to choose of
It's a no brainer (if I only had a brain)
If only you'd take my name tag

Day without night
Night without day
Tell me which one to think of
The entertainer never learned to entertain
If only you felt the same.

07 SUBJECTIVITY (Yung)

You tell me "pasa nada"
But that's not good enough today
'Cause everything is moving
But I don't want to play

The molecules are dancing
They're forming into words
They're biting through my armour
They're chewing at my nerves

All that I seem to see is subjectivity
All that I seem to do is
Rearrange the shapes around me
I'm looking for meaning but
Can't figure out a thing
I'm looking for order in
An underworld that's overwhelming.

I'm scanning through the pages
I'm hanging up my noose
My periodic table's
Legs are coming loose

It's an actuarial nightmare
And the odds are looking poor
Of waking up tomorrow
Of getting off this floor.

All that I seem to see is subjectivity
All that I seem to do is
Rearrange the people round me
I'm looking for something but
Significance is out
I've joined up the missing links
But I can't get off the roundabout.

All that I seem to see is subjectivity
All that I seem to do is
Rearrange the world around me
You get tired of waiting while
You're planning The Big Fight
So tear off another sheet from
The toilet roll of everyday life.

Tear off another sheet
Tear off another sheet
Tear off another sheet
Tear off another sheet.

08 I'M TAKING YOUR STUFF (Elf)

Like the dogs
Like the dogs in the night
Like some birds in a flight
I'm taking your kite
I'm riding your bike
And I'm calling you Mike
And I'll give you a light
But I'm taking your kite.

Like the cats
Like the cats in the day
Like the dogs, now at play
I am taking your tray
I'm going away
And I'm calling you Ray
And I'm here for today
Later taking your tray.

Like the bee
Like the bee in the tree
Like the Queen of the Sea
I am taking your keys
And we'll later have tea
And I'm calling you Lee
And I'll serve you some peas
While I'm taking your keys.

Like the man
Like the man with a tan
Like some ladies named Ann
I am taking your fan
I'm juggling some cans
And I'm calling you Dan
And I'll give you a pan
But I'm taking your fan.

Like the end
Like the end of a song
And the words all spelled wrong
I am taking your thong
I'm putting it on
And I'm calling you Ron
Soon I'll be gone
Gone with your thong.

09 SOCIAL STUDIES BUDDIES (Yung/Moore)

Someday you might meet a person that you didn't know
You'll listen to them talk til you decide it's time to go
And you may not remember them at all until that night
And that's when you will wish he'd treated you right.

Every now and then a stranger passes you on the street
You can't avoid eye contact though you never really meet
And so you turn around as if you hope that he does too
Well, that's when you will wish he'd cared about you.

Curiosity 'bout everyone we see
Developing new friendships doesn't work for you and me
Animosity 'bout every human being
Social studies, where's my buddies gone?

Last October you came over with your cousin Jake
We tried to have a conversation, but I made the mistake
Of asking him to loan me seven dollars for a cab
And that's when I had wished you'd picked up the tab.

Curiosity 'bout everyone we see
Developing new friendships doesn't work for you and me
Animosity 'bout every human being
Social studies, where're my buddies now?

Cause that was when he slapped my face
And then you put him in his place
My cheek turned red and swollen up
You threw a nickel in his cup
I felt as bad as I could feel
As we jumped in the automobile
Curriculum we chose was
Social Studies, Buddy's bloody nose.

Someday you might meet a person that you didn't know
You'll listen to them talk til you decide it's time to go
And you may not remember them at all until that night
And that's when you will wish he'd treated you right
He'd treated you right
He treats you right
He treated me right.
Pshaw. In a minute! I reckon.
You beat all, you know that?

10 BABY, WHY? (Moore/Yung)

(words to come)

11 FRIDGE MAGNET POEM #1 (Yung/Moore)

A silhouette through symmetry
We laugh among the ghosts inside
The flames surf pungent then they leave us
savage, lonely and destroyed

Burn as innocent naked glory
Seize my truth in sour song
Wisdom aches in subtle mystery
Mindless wonder rage along!

Dead paradise idle embrace
remember me without the face
stop start sleep still free the flow
our mirror always tells us so

puzzles rather sacrifice
strange above that floating smile
faced to fall on supple life
I only came to satisfy

12 TAKE BACK (Moore)

Take me back
I really didn't wanna come here
I haven't found anyone nearly as
Nice as me, can you

Take me home
I really never meant to leave then
Someone was a-pullin' my sleeve when
I wasn't payin' attention, can you

Take me in
There's only one place to be now
Lying down on my bed to sleep
Now that I'm tired and bored, can't you

Take cover
It's dangerous being outsider
Nauseous from the car ride
Potholes and bumps in the road, can you

Flag a cab
Transport my ass to the shelter
Book me in a posh motel
Room 62, check in, take back

I really didn't wanna come here
I haven't met anyone nearly as
Smart as you, take back.

13 SPLIT SECOND (Moore/Yung)

Howling at the TV or barking at the moon
Thereıs still no way youıd ever notice that creep across the room
Iım sorry that I canıt help it, my mouth is full of wool
And Iıve never told anyone that they were beautiful

Oh I could see myself spending some time with you
Or somebody like you
It neednıt be much - a few minutes, that should do
If you could spare it.

Sorry, what was that? I really wish you could explain
I sometimes miss the signals and get trouble once again
Thereıs a whiteboard in the corner - I really need a clue
And itıs torture when that person is as beautiful as you

I could see myself spending a day with you
Just doing nothing
My cards are on the table, Iım figuring out what to do
Canıt you hear the ticking?

A split second just for me
Is all Iıd need to make you see

That you could have fun just spending some time with me
Thereıs nobody else like me
Iım a one-off, totally unique, you see
Iıd really make you smile

Oh I could see myself spending a night with you
I think it could work
Doing the things that everyone seems to do
Whatever that may be

Gaze into my
Eyes, I think that

I could see myself spending a night with you
I wouldnıt take long
If I could just catch your eye, then I might get through
But itıs too late, youıve just gone!

14 OFF THE BENCH (Lovera/Yung)

-instrumental-

15 I GO INTO YOUR MIND (Moore 1978)/EXTRACT FROM QUITE NICE DREAM (Yung)

I go into your mind
I open up the door
I come inside your hair
I sit down on the floor
And I just look up around the room
Looks like you're without whom
Your brain wants
Your brain gets

And I travel through your head
I move from ear to ear
I go into your mind
I swim upon your tears
And I'm just floating out of the room
Looks like you're without whom
Your brain wants me.

16 I LIKE YELLOW THINGS (Unknown/Faulkner)

(words to come)