the LIBRETTO for
R STEVIE MOORE
"SHRIGLEY FIELD"

V.01 12 MARCH 2007
new music based around all words written by david shrigley (*required field)

[01] I DIDN'T MAKE A RECORD (0:36) I DIDN'T MAKE A RECORD I COULDN'T BE BOTHERED TO MAKE A RECORD IT WOULD HAVE BEEN TOO DIFFICULT IT WAS EASIER NOT TO MAKE A RECORD I DIDN'T MAKE A RECORD I COULDN'T BE BOTHERED TO MAKE A RECORD IT WOULD HAVE BEEN TOO DIFFICULT IT WAS EASIER NOT TO MAKE A RECORD I DIDN'T MAKE A RECORD I COULDN'T BE BOTHERED TO MAKE A RECORD IT WOULD HAVE BEEN TOO DIFFICULT IT WAS EASIER NOT TO MAKE A RECORD [02] THE DISABLED LAD WANTS YOU TO BUY HIM A WHEEL CHAIR WITH THE MONEY THAT YOU WON AT THE HORSERACE (6:28) MP3 [5.99MB] | VID "We stepped in some shrigley spearmint over at shrigley field I stepped in the GUM And it's still on the bottom of my shoe." The disabled lad wants you to buy him a wheelchair With the money that you won at the horse race Money that you won at the horse race. Sweet sweet potato Hiding in the ground. Inside the flowers There are things Things that sting Things that bite Don't touch the flowers They are bad Inside the flowers There are things. Sweet sweet potato Hiding in the ground. The disabled lad wants you to buy him a wheelchair With the money that you won at the horse race. Sweet sweet potato Plump and yellow and round. -- Words by David Shrigley (except intro words by R$M) Music by Ray Brazen and R. Stevie Moore post-precorded NJ Jan-Feb-Mar 2007 [03] The Bell (1:55) I heard the bell ringing Ding-dong Ding-dong There was a funeral Ding-dong Ding-dong Lots of people at the funeral Ding-dong Ding-dong Funeral of a rock star Ding-dong Ding-dong Who died in a fight Ding-dong Ding-dong He got his head punched off Ding-dong Ding-dong By a 12-foot monster Ding-dong Ding-dong ---- Music by Lane Steinberg & R$M [04] Ding Dang (1:54) including 'The Festival of Fun' & 'Nuts' I did not know where I was Going, then I came upon the Festival of Fun, all gay Abandon in the sun. People Wearing clothes they would not Normally wear. Saying things they Would not normally say and doing Things they would not normally do.   I was there for 20 minutes and The police came and now I am in jail. I have been here for 2 years and They are saying they will never Let me out. Squirrel squirrel In the tree Do me a favour Collect Nuts for me Do me a favour And take the shells off The nuts And examine them closely To check they are not Rotten Before you give them to me. Nut Nut Beautiful nut Salt nut Spicy nut You'rea good old nut And I love you. ---- Music by Mitch Friedman & R$M; vox Krys_O, Fred & Sodom Hussein [05] Terrible Haircut (2:40) a/k/a 'SAD SONG'   EVERYBODY HATES YOU I WON'T TELL YOU WHY LETTER FROM THE DOCTOR SAYS YOUR GONNA DIE CUTE LITTLE KITTENS DROWNED IN A SACK EVERYBODY SCREAMING SKY TURNING BLACK   I DON'T WANNA LIVE NO MORE I DON'T WANNA LIVE NO MORE PETER JUST CALLED TO SAY HE SAW A SLUG EATING A CHIP I'VE JUST HAD A TERRIBLE HAIRCUT   A FLASHING LIGHT NEVER STOPS FLASHING WHEN YOU'RE WATCHING IT FLASH   WE SHOULD BE LIVING BETTER LIVES THAN WE'VE BEEN LIVING WE SHOULDN'T TAKE SO MUCH PLEASURE IN WATCHING OTHERS FAIL AND SUFFER WE SHOULD DRINK LESS WE SHOULD EAT MORE WE SHOULD SPEAK TO PEOPLE WE SHOULD GO OUTSIDE I DON'T WANNA LIVE NO MORE I DON'T WANNA LIVE NO MORE PETER JUST CALLED TO SAY HE SAW A SLUG EATING A CHIP I'VE JUST HAD A TERRIBLE HAIRCUT I'VE JUST HAD A TERRIBLE HAIRCUT. ---- Music by Billy Anderson & R$M [06] A Clash Of Heads (5:39) I THINK ONE THING YOU THINK ANOTHER I SAY ONE THING YOU HEAR SOMETHING DIFFERENT TO WHAT I HAVE SAID YOU THINK SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH ME I THINK SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH YOU I GO AROUND YOUR HOUSE AND YOU ARE NOT THERE I INVITE YOU FOR DINNER BUT YOU DON'T COME YOU LOOK IN MY EYES AND YOU SEE NOTHING I LOOK DOWN A HOLE AND I THINK OF YOU. ---- Music by Doug O'Donnell & R$M; vox Britney + Kev; pythagoreanism R. Schneider [07] For The Dogs (Feel Free To Howl) (4:14) THIS IS FOR THE DOGS THIS IS FOR THE WALLS THIS IS FOR THE CEILINGS AND FLOORS THIS IS FOR THE FOOLS THIS IS FOR THE THIEVES THIS IS FOR THE DRUNKARDS THIS IS FOR THE OLD TENNIS BALLS AND THE NEW ONES THIS IS FOR THE DRUG ADDICTS AND THE PROSTITUTES THIS IS FOR THOSE WHO HAVE BEEN FORGOTTEN THIS IS FOR THE GODLESS INFIDELS THIS IS FOR OUR LADS FIGHTING OVERSEAS THIS IS FOR THOSE WHO LABOUR BENEATH HEAVY BURDENS THIS IS FOR THE TEACHERS AND THE SCHOLARS THIS IS FOR THE WRITERS OF BOOKS THIS IS FOR THE DEAD THIS IS FOR THOSE YET TO BE BORN THIS IS FOR THE PROPHETS & THOSE WHO SEE THE FUTURE THIS IS FOR THE WIND THIS IS FOR THE INSANE & THOSE ON THE PATH TO INSANITY THIS IS FOR THE BIRDS IN THE TREES THIS IS FOR THE ROCKS THIS IS FOR THE FATHERS AND BROTHERS THIS IS FOR THE MOTHERS AND SISTERS THIS IS FOR HIM OVER THERE THIS IS FOR THAT GIRL WITH THE EARRINGS THIS IS FOR ME THIS IS FOR YOU THIS IS FOR EVERYONE ELSE. ---- Music by R$M [08] I SAW YOU (4:30) Saw you dancin' like some weird mongrel I thought it was embarrassing But I didn't want to offend you Stood and watched while you kept dancing Flailing your arms around like a windmill   Heard you singing like a cat being tortured I thought it was embarrassing But I said I liked it Stood and listened while you kept screaming Closing your eyes like it was painful   Saw you trying to play the flute I thought it was embarrassing But I just kept quiet Stood and watched you fiddling with it You didn't know which bit to blow into. --- Music by Tom Priester and R$M [09] Ball/Splendid/Journalism (4:30) I LOOKED AT THE BALL FOR TEN HOURS THEN I LOOKED AWAY FOR A MOMENT THEN LOOKED BACK AND THE BALL HAD MOVED THEN I LOOKED AT IT SOME MORE AND REALIZED IT HAD MOVED BUT SO SLOWLY THAT I DID NOT REALIZE BALL KEEPS MOVING WILL NOT STAY STILL MAKES ME FEEL SICK MAKES ME CRAZY MAKES ME WANT TO KILL THINGS. Everything is splendid Inside the human body Everything glows and Shines and glistens And also everything Has a function And if the doctors Who care for us Make any mistakes at all They will be expelled And hung from trees. JOURNALISM: — Let the cat out of the bag — Cat cannot be let out of the bag — Why? — Because it is dead. ---- Music by Nuno Monteiro & R$M; craZy fx by Thee Amerikkkan Idle Comedy Troupee [10] The King (2:52) I am the King of it all And you R my subjects I am the King of it all And U R my subjects Don't believe me? Ask the police! They will beat you up for asking. ---- Music by R$M [11] Foreign Meat (2:11) I will eat the foreign meat Yes I will eat the foreign meat I will eat it with my hands I will eat it with my feet   I will eat the flame-grilled whopper Yes I will eat the flame-grilled whopper I will eat it for my breakfast I will eat it for my supper   I will eat the sticky pudding Yes I will eat the sticky pudding I will eat it at your funeral I will eat it at my wedding   I will eat the elephant poo Yes I will eat the elephant poo I will eat it in the wild I will eat it at the zoo   I will eat the human corpse Yes I will eat the human corpse I will eat it with a spoon I will eat it with a fork I will eat the bar of soap Yes I will eat the bar of soap I will put it in my mouth I will swallow it down my throat. ---- Music by Lane Steinberg & R$M [12] Insect (2:04) I am an insect I've been caught in a jar I am fascinated by my new surroundings It is like another world in here I like it very much. ---- Music by R$M & Preston Spurlock [13] Honking Goose (2:00) Crazy goose honking Honking loud Honking clear I can hear you honking From inside my prison cell I wish I could eat you And then have sex with a girl. ---- Music by R$M & Power Play toy drumset by Preston Spurlock [14] WELCOME SINGER! (0:34) Welcome singer! Sing thy song Sing it loud And sing it long Or sing it quiet And sing it quick And Use vernacular If you want. ---- Music by Roger Ferguson [15] Honking Goose Blues (5:22) Crazy goose honking Honking loud Honking clear I can hear you honking From inside my prison cell I wish I could eat you And then have sex with a girl.   ----------------------------   Here's part of an ant And here's part of you The part of you Is much bigger than the part Of the ant So I'm going to eat the part Of you.   ---------------------------   I am an insect I've been caught in a jar I am fascinated by my new surroundings It is like another world in here I like it very much. ---- Music by Billy Anderson & R$M [16] Hole (0:39) HEY YOU WITH THE SPADE ! COME DIG ME A HOLE DIG IT DEEP DIG IT DEEP DIG IT DEEP HEY YOU WITH THE FIST ! COME BANG ON MY HEAD BANG IT WELL BANG IT STRONG 'TIL IT BREAKS HEY YOU WITH THE MOUTH ! COME SAY ME A PRAYER SAY IT NICE SAY IT LOW SAY IT WELL HEY YOU WITH THE SPADE ! COME FILL IN THAT HOLE DO IT QUICK BEFORE ANYONE SEES. ---- Music by R$M [18] Prince (1:43) Prince of Wales Prince of Wales What on earth is wrong with you ? Prince of Wales Prince of Wales What ever must we do ? Prince of Wales Prince of Wales Shall we make you our king ? Prince of Wales Prince of Wales You will be our king when the queen dies Prince of Wales Prince of Wales Prince of Wales Prince of Wales ---- Music by R$M & B.Janoff [19] Big Wobbly Bird (2:01) a/k/a 'A SONG' Big wobbly bird Wob-bling a-round Old dirty goat Ly-ing on the ground Small delicate bat Hang-ing in a cave Man from next door His name is Dave Big furry bear Lurking in the trees Small hairless pig Covered in black greaze Short stubby worm Rolling down the hill Junkie in the shop Stealing from the till Girl in the pub Ordering some wine Men waiting for the bus Standing in a line Dad's in his chair Eating some toast Rabid mongrel dog Tied to a post High on the shelves Right at the top I found a skull Inside a box. ---- Music by Lane Steinberg & R$M; vox2 by -max- [20] The State Refuses To Fix Me (0:50) THE STATE REFUSES TO FIX ME - SO I WILL FIX MYSELF. ---- Music by R$M [21] The State Refuses 2 (0:49) [22] WELCOME 2 (1:15) [23] One (2:19) In a one horse town In a one horse town In a one horse town There's just one horse On a one track mind On a one track mind On a one track mind On a one track mind There's just one thought (food) On a one-armed bandit On a one-armed bandit On a one-armed bandit There's just one arm In a one man band In a one man band In a one man band There's just one man In a one parent family In a one parent family In a one parent family There's just one parent Down a one way street Down a one way street Down a one way street There's just one way. ---- Music by R$M [24] Very Bad Man From Iraq (4:02) Gonna write some crazy songs Gonna right some terrible wrongs Gonna take my shoes back to the shop Gonna get a haircut   Very bad man from Iraq Got beaten and burned And put in a sack 'Cos he was a serial killer Yes a serial killer He killed lots of people For no reason at all   Very bad man from Iraq Got tied up and hung From the end of a rope 'Cos he was a serial killer Yes he was a terrible serial killer He killed old men and children Just because he felt like it   And the wife of one of his victims Said she was glad he was dead But that she would have rather Had some money instead. Gonna write some crazy songs Gonna right some terrible wrongs Gonna take my shoes back to the shop Gonna get a haircut. ---- Music by Billy Anderson & R$M [25] No Fears (2:13) YOU DON'T HAVE TO LIVE IN FEAR OF ME 'COS I'M NOT SUCH A BAD MAN YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE SCARED OF ME 'COS I AM AN OK GUY YOU DON'T HAVE TO LOCK YOUR DOOR AT NIGHT 'COS I WON'T COME INTO YOUR HOUSE AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO CARRY A KNIFE 'COS I'M NOT GONNA ATTACK YOU NO YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY NO YOU DON'T HAVE TO CARE 'COS WHEN YOU ARE MOST VULNERABLE I WILL NOT BE THERE. ---- Music by R$M [26] Whatcha Doin'? (2:19) Bean bag Bean bag Whatcha doin' sittin' on that bean bag?   Tree stump Tree stump Whatcha doin' dancin' 'round that tree stump?   Lamp post Lamp post Whatcha doin' danglin' from that lamp post?   Pot hole Pot hole Whatcha doin' climbin' down that pot hole?   Mad girl Mad girl Whatcha doin' hangin' 'round that mad girl?   Crack pipe Crack pipe Whatcha doin' smokin' on that crack pipe? Bean bag, Hey! whatcha doin'? ---- Music by Lane Steinberg & R$M [27] It's Alright (1:23)   IT'S ALRIGHT IT'S ALRIGHT IT'S ALRIGHT IT'S ALRIGHT IT'S ALRIGHT IT'S ALRIGHT IT'S ALRIGHT IT'S AIGHT IT'S AIGHT IT'S ALRIGHT IT'S ALRIGHT IT'S ALRIGHT IT'S ALRIGHT IT'S ALRIGHT IT'S ALRIGHT IT'S AIGHT Having A Real Fit (x:xx) He's having some kind of fit He's rolling around on the Pavement outside the shop It's like he's Being electrocuted His eyes are wobbling And he's making a funny noise It's like his body is taking Revenge on him And people are standing around And they're smiling And they're Throwing coins onto him Like he is performing But he's not performing He's having a real fit. He’s having a real fit. MORE --> extras so far unused (kidnapt for volume 2):   --------------------------------- KIDS STAY IN SCHOOL AND PLAY BETTER ---------------------------------