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My Life

I hold the key in my hand,
To the door of Hell.
The screaming and the suffering,
And the promise to never tell.

In my head are memories,
Of future past
The beatings and the hate games
That will always last

The fear will always be there,
And will never go away.
I have to watch every step I take,
And take life day by day.

Sometimes I still feel the pain,
Of the leather belt.
And the anger held back,
Made me want never to have felt.

The hatred in their eyes,
So that you can see right through.
They hide their feelings inside,
That, they teach me to do.

My will has been broken,
My soul has been lamed,
But try as they might,
My spirit shall never be tamed.

These stories I now hide inside,
And are never free to go.
They continously build up,
And they will never show.

I always put on a smile,
A cover for all to see.
So then no one will probe,
And only let me be.

There's only one bit of happiness,
That has been shown to me,
And that has been wonderful,
A light that had made me see.

I am not the only victim,
There are many more,
It's called abuse,
To add to the increasing score.

I don't know if I'll ever be the same,
Many things have changed me forever.
But I'll put it all in the past,
And worry about it, Never!

Copyright 1994, unpublished work, Robin Duffy