About Me

Why Pipkin the Dog Website?

1997-98 was a particularly brutal time. In the span of a year or so: my ex-girlfriend's parents divorced; a dear friend died of breast cancer; a 3+ year relationship ended abruptly; my mother survived a bout with cancer; my own parents divorced. I changed jobs, careers, vehicles and state of residence.

During this time there was little that wasn't uncomfortable or downright painful. One of them was Pipkin. She was such a beautiful soul.

In 1998, Pipkin was diagnosed with cancer. Through various medicines her life was extended by several months.

I spent as much time as I could with her, visiting every free weekend and volunteering to watch after her when my mom was away. She ate very well during this time.

Because she was losing so much weight, she was fed every meal like it was her last. The begging technique she had spent years perfecting, atrophied away in the end. There was no need for her to quietly sidle up next to a carefully chosen "softie" and stare with complete and total optimism until some morsel of food would find its way to her mouth. She never whined and she never doubted her ability. Pipkin refined her technique over the years elevating it to an art- some canine form of Jedi Mind Control. She knew just who to hit, too. My grandmother was a softie, and of course my mom was,too...

Her absolute favorite food probably was Tofutti(non-dairy ice-cream). She would cradle a pint between her paws and stick her snout in thoroughly eliminating any last trace of food.

It was hard to doubt the superiority of the canine mind after witnessing this superb paw-to-snout coordination(at least when it came to food-catching a ball was another matter...)...

I wasn't there at the end.

I really wanted to be. It just wasn't meant to be.

It was early Feb. of this year. Pipkin was not able to climb stairs(let alone onto a bed) without being carried. She could barely keep any food in her-even "people food" which she loved so much. Even Tofutti.

My mom was very concerned about when was the "right time". How long is too long? When is keeping someone you love alive just your own selfishness-wanting to keep what has been there for you still around? Where is the line? And what about dignity? What about quality of life?

On the morning of Feb. 6th, mom was carrying Pippie down the steps so she could go out and she just looked at my mom with this look and she just knew-it was time.

She later told me that it was both sad and beautiful. The vet was wonderful and she was able to stroke Pippie and stay with her and maintain eye contact while they put her to sleep. She stayed with her for an hour, comforting her and saying goodbye. Pippie let her know the whole time with her eyes that it was ok.

A few days later, my mom called and told me the story of how she put her down and cried and I listened and cried. She asked me to write a eulogy or some stories to remember her by.

Instead I created this website-not for my mom,really(she's not even connected to the web,yet). I really wanted to be there at the end. This is my way of grieving, of saying goodbye.

So long,girl. You really spread so much love and joy. You taught me so much about how to love unconditionally. You were my sibling, my packmate, my friend. I'll miss you. Goodbye...