by Rachel Moninger
All characters in this story are a copyright of AMC This story is copyright 1998 by IvoryGrand
Betty Roberts entered WENN out of breath. She leaned against the receptionist's desk and removed her high heel, rubbing her foot.
"Morning, Betty," said Gertie, rather confused. It was very unusual for Betty to be the last one to arrive at WENN in the morning.
"Good morning, Gertie," said Betty breathlessly, her hair wild and hat askew. "I missed my trolley, so I had to take a taxi here, but there was a traffic jam at the corner of Browning and Walsh, so I had to run all the way here!" She paused to take a breath. She glanced at her watch. "Oh, look at the time!" She started putting her high heel on as she hopped down the hallway to the Writer's Room.
Hilary Booth stepped out of the Studio and watched Betty leap for the Writer's Room door.
"What was that all about?" Hilary asked Gertie, strolling to the desk.
"She missed her trolley," replied Gertie.
Just then, a delivery man entered the station with a dozen red roses. "Flowers for..."
"Me, of course," said Hilary, smiling graciously, "How wonderful!"
"Sign here, please, Miss Roberts," said the man in monotone.
"I'm Hilary Booth," said Hilary, her feathers ruffling already that the man didn't recognize a star of her caliber.
"Then these flowers ain't for you. They're for a Miss Betty Roberts." Hilary narrowed her eyes at the delivery man.
"Gertie, could you get me an outside line..." Betty trailed off as she approached Gertie's desk.
"Miss Roberts?" asked the delivery man.
"Yes..."
"Sign here, please."
Betty signed for the flowers, and took them from the delivery man. When he left Betty said, "Who could have sent these?"
"You might try looking at the card," said Hilary, still miffed that the flowers were not to her from an adoring fan.
Betty removed the small card. "'Roses are red, violets are blue, even these flowers aren't as lovely as you.'" Hilary snorted.
"What's it signed?" inquired Gertie curiously.
"'Your Clandestine Sweetheart,'" replied Betty, her brow furrowed.
"What?"
"Another phrase for Secret Admirer," said Hilary, forgetting her disappointment and getting caught up in the romance it all.
"Who..." started Betty.
"Betty, Betty, Betty!" said Scott, exiting the Studio and sauntering leisurely to the receptionist's desk. "Nice flowers," he added.
"Thank you," said Betty.
"They're from her Clandestine Sweetheart," said Hilary, hoping to confuse him.
"You got a Secret Admirer, Betty?" said Scott. Gertie started to notice the green in his eyes.
"Looks like it," said Betty, still confused about the whole thing.
"This is so romantic and mysterious," said Hilary, with a swooning gleam in her eye.
"Yeah, well," said Scott, shrugging, "It seems to me that a guy should come right out and say how he feels..." he trailed off, looking at Betty, then to his right at a picture on the wall.
Betty stared down at the flowers.
After an uncomfortable silence, Scott said, "Well, Victor wants to see me and I...musn't keep Victor waiting..." he paused, then quickly turned around and headed for Victor's office.
"Well," said Hilary, touching one of the rose petals, "I'm sure your Clandestine Sweetheart will show himself soon enough."
"Yes..." said Betty. "Well, I have to go finish writing the script for 'Valiant Journey'. Never mind that outside line, Gertie."
As soon as the door to the Writer's Room closed, Hilary hissed to Gertie, "All right, Gertie, if anyone would know who Betty's Clandestine Sweetheart is, it's you! Who is it?"
"I don't know," said Gertie, taken aback, "Your guess is as good as mine."
"Hmmm," said Hilary thoughtfully, "Well, perhaps we can find out who sent it from the florist."
"Not bad, Hilary," said Gertie, genuinely impressed, "I'll call the florist...wait." She paused. "There are plenty of florists in Pittsburgh. Which one delivered those roses?"
"Forget-Me-Not Florists...the one down the street," said Hilary with a smirk. "When you're playing detective, you have to look for things like the florist's name on the delivery man's uniform."
"Nice work, Hilary," said Gertie, "Even for you." Gertie was talking with Merle, one of the florists at Forget-Me-Not, within a minute.
"Yes..." said Gertie, "recently...within the past hour or so...yeah...no, I don't think so...probably...what? Herman Schlelp? No, I don't think that's the person we're looking for...no...well, no, I have nothing against Mr. Schelp...no I'm not discriminating...that's just not the person I'm looking for...hmmm? Yes, go ahead...uh huh...yes! Yes! I think that was the person...thank you so much for your help, Meryl. What? Oh, I'm sorry...no, I just got your name a little mixed-up...thank you, Merle. Why do you want to know if I'm married? Listen, you just stick to the pansies you got, OK, Merle? Thank you. Bye."
"Well?!" said Hilary, about to fall over from suspense.
"Uh..." stalled Gertie, "Herman Schlelp..."
"WHO IS BETTY'S CLANDESTINE SWEETHEART??!!"
"Well, um...clandestine is such a relative term..."
"WHAT?!"
"Hilary!" cried Jeffrey, sliding out of the Studio, "You're on the air in ten seconds!"
"Oh!" said Hilary frustratedly. She huffed into the Studio.
"Saved by Mr. Clandestine Sweetheart himself," said Gertie with a sigh of relief.
*******
Hilary leaned against the receptionist's desk, leafing through a magazine. She was covering the phones for Gertie while she was out to lunch.
"Flowers for a Miss Hilary Booth," said a delivery man from the florists, barging into the station.
"Ah!" exclaimed Hilary with delight, "Of course, I am Hilary Booth."
"Yeah, whatever," said the man, "Sign here, please."
After the man was gone, Hilary looked at the card, which read "Love always, Your Pumpkin."
"Hilary?" said Betty, walking to the desk, "What beautiful flowers!"
"Yes," sighed Hilary.
"Who are they from?" asked Betty.
"Jeffrey. Oh, what a sweet man."
"Oh, Hilary! How wonderful!"
"I think I'll go thank him right now!"
"He's down at the Buttery for lunch, I think."
"Wonderful. He can treat me to lunch, then." Hilary left the station.
They may have their differences, thought Betty, but they really are a great couple!
Hilary came back into the station a few minutes later, disappointed that Jeff wasn't at the Buttery. She saw Maple and Betty. They were turned the opposite way and talking very secretively. She approached them quietly, listening in on their conversation.
"My Clandestine Sweetheart is JEFF?" said Betty incredulously.
"That's what Gertie said," whispered Maple.
"But why?"
"Maybe that little date you had a while back for You've Met Your Match..."
"But we were just acting!" said Betty.
"Maybe he took it as more." Betty and Maple continued down the hallway into the Writer's Room.
Hilary was so furious she couldn't see straight. She gripped the bouquet of flowers in her hand and started looking for him. She immediately spotted him in the Studio. She clutched the flowers even tighter as she entered the Studio.
Jeff, who was waiting for his cue from Scott, gave a little wave to her, but he knew something was wrong.
Hilary ran towards him and started hitting him with the flowers.
"You Two-Timing Twit!" she yelled. "You Imprudent Ignoramus! You Dense Dim-Wit! You..."
"Yes, we're ON THE AIR LIVE," announced Scott loudly, still trying to make the announcement for the sponsor. Hilary continued pounding poor Jeff with the daisies. When Scott was finished, Maple dashed into the studio to take over. As Mr. Foley managed to get the flowers from Hilary, Scott grabbed her wrists and pinned them behind her.
"Calm down, Hilary," said Jeff.
"CALM DOWN?!" yelled Hilary at the top of her lungs.
Scott dragged Hilary out of the Studio, with Jeff following at a safe distance.
"Now," said Scott, "Hilary, what is this all about?"
"THAT TWO-TIMING..."
"Twit, Imprudent Ignoramus, Dense Dim-Wit," finished Scott. "We heard that already."
"Hilary," said Jeff, "Why are you so mad at me?"
"Don't play innocent with me!" she said in a fierce whisper, "I know about you and Betty Roberts!"
Scott glared at Jeff. "What about you and Betty?" he said suspiciously.
"I don't know what your talking about, Pumpkin!" said Jeff.
"PUMPKIN?!" yelled Hilary, remembering the note.
"OK, calm down," said Scott. "Hilary, can you explain without yelling?"
Hilary let in a slow breath. "All right," she agreed. Scott let go of her wrists.
"That...man..." Hilary spat out, glaring at Jeff, "sent flowers to me...and that little...Betty Roberts. He is Betty's Clandestine Sweetheart."
Scott and Hilary both gave Jeff a "You'd Better Talk Fast" look.
"Hilary," said Jeff, desperately wishing Scott was still on his side, "I don't know what your talking about. I only sent flowers to you."
"Oh, really?" growled Hilary.
"If you don't believe me...call the florist!"
After giving Jeff one last scowl, Hilary stormed to the switchboard with Scott and Jeff following at a safe distance.
Hilary furiously connected with the operator. "Forget-Me-Not Florists," she barked. After a few moments she started speaking. "Hello, Merle...tell me what orders a Mr. Jeffrey Singer placed today...yes...no, SINGer. No, not Schlelp. I don't know! Just tell me, Merle! Thank you...yes...yes...are you sure? No, I'm not calling you a liar, Merle...no! No, I'm married...I mean...I was...no, not now...no thank you. OK...thank you...goodbye....GOODBYE, Merle..."
Jeff and Scott looked at Hilary inquisitively.
"Well," said Hilary, clearing her throat, "you only made one order..."
Jeff sighed with relief. He knew that was Hilary's way of apologizing.
"Hey, Jeff," said Scott, "I'm sorry I thought..."
"That's OK," said Jeff.
"Oh, Jeffrey..." said Hilary, and Scott knew that was his cue to leave.
*****
An hour later Forget-Me-Not Florists recieved another call from WENN. This time it was from Betty Roberts.
"Hello...yes...thank you...I'd like to know who...that's all right...no, that's fine...I'd like to know who sent a Miss Betty Roberts flowers this morning...I'll hold...yes, 1313...who?" she said, her face getting so pale that Scott was afraid she would faint. "No! No, I'm not...no, I just didn't think...not you, Merle...no, I'm not calling you a liar! That's all right...thank you, Merle. Good-bye."
"Well?" iquired Gertie.
"Herman Schlelp."
"Yeah, I know, Merle said the same thing to me. So who's your Clandestine Sweetheart?"
"Herman Schlelp."
"Herman Schlelp?" said Scott, confused.
"He was a boy I knew in high school. He kept pestering me to date him. He finally stopped, but only after I graduated. Oh, no! I don't want him to ask me on a date NOW! I thought I got rid of him!"
"Well, what do you want us to do to help you out of this, Betty?" asked Gertie.
"Hello," said a familiar voice from Betty's past. Betty was afraid to turn around. "Well," said Herman, "You haven't changed a bit, if you know what I mean, and you know what I mean!"
Scott was about ready to punch the little sap in the nose.
Betty finally managed to muster up the courage to turn around. He hadn't changed a bit. Same nosy, slimy, nerdy old wolf he'd always been.
"Herman..." she said, hoping her voice sounded as disgusted as she felt.
"I thought you'd never ask!" said the little worm. "No, I'm not married. Aren't you lucky?"
Betty looked desperately at Scott. If anyone would know what to do in this situation, it would be him.
"Say, Herm," said Scott, putting his hand on Herman's shoulder and guiding him to a spot a few feet away from Betty and Gertie, "You haven't seen Betty in a while, have you?"
"No," said Herman, "and I can tell she's still as crazy about me as she used to be!"
"Yeah, well," said Scott, and in a low, gruff voice he continued, "Betty and I are...well, not to hurt you fella, but...Betty and I are together. And see...I'm the kind of guy who, well...gets pretty jealous of other guys who move in on my girl...get my drift?"
The combination of Scott's indimidating tone and the fact that Herman was a foot shorter than Scott made Herman back down.
"Well, uh..." stammered Herman, "sorry...I mean, um..."
"That's OK," said Scott, "Tell you what...you leave right now, and don't bother Betty again...and I'll let you walk out of here uninjured."
"It's a deal," said Herman nervously. He backed right into the coat rack. When he finally managed to find his way to the door he quickly said, "Bye, um...all."
As the door shut behind him, Betty let out a long sigh of relief.
"That was a close one!" said Gertie, gathering her things. "Good job, Scott. See you kids tomorrow."
"Bye, Gertie," Scott and Betty said in unison.
After Gertie left, Scott helped Betty into her coat. "Well," said Scott after an uncomfortable silence, "See you tomorrow." He turned around to leave.
"Scott?"
"Yeah, Betty?" he said, turning back towards her.
"Thank you."
"No problem." he said. Betty turned to leave.
"Betty?" said Scott. Betty turned around. "Would you like to get something to eat?"
Betty smiled. "I thought you'd never ask."
THE END
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