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A Remember WENN Story


By Angela Tircut

All characters are properties of Rupert Holmes and AMC.

Tuesday 7:25 p.m.

Betty sat back in her chair, listening to Scott and Victor bat an idea back and forth. She opened her mouth a couple of times, but finally gave up. It was amazing. They were so different, but so much alike when it came to getting good ideas for WENN. The same gleam in the eye, words racing like lions, and no hesitation in putting a plan into action. This time, they were discussing a call-in romance advice show.

"Jeff and Hilary could do it together," Victor said. "Their perspectives would be unique to each gender."

"Hilary's would be unique to anyone," Scott quipped. "We could schedule it right after 'Sam Dane'."

"We'll start tomorrow," Victor said, standing up. Scott nodded eagerly.

"Wait. Hold, on fellas," Betty said, before they could go spreading the news. "No one knows about this show yet. Where are you going to get questions from?" She instantly felt two pairs of eyes boring into her.

"You can just make up some questions to get the ball rolling," Scott said.

"And after that, our listeners will provide their own," Victor added.

He headed for the Green Room, where Jeff and Hilary were having their daily fight. Scott followed after him. Betty sighed. Well, at least the scripts for tomorrow were finished. Now she had to come up with a list of questions that fictional listeners would ask Jeff and Hilary.

Tuesday 7:30 p.m

"Jeffrey, you insensitive, insatiable, ingrate!!" Hilary squealed.

"Pumpkin..." Jeff started, but Hilary let out a screech and stopped him.

"Don't you 'Pumpkin' me, you senile, scurrilous, sandrat!" Only Hilary Booth could twist her tongue around those words. It was one of her many accomplishments. It wasn't a very popular one.

Luckily, Victor and Scott entered the room before she could continue her tirade.

Jeff listened to the new show idea. "I don't think Hilary would want to do a show like that with me," he said, glancing at her.

Hilary lifted her chin. "I am an actress. If I can handle Broadway, I can certainly handle giving advice with you, Mr. Jeff Singer." She swept out of the room.

"That settles it." Victor smiled.

"Very exciting." Scott gave him an answering grin.

Tuesday 7:45

Betty was sitting at her typewriter, but her hands were surprisingly still. Why was this so hard? she thought. She made her living by making up romantic problems for her characters. But, this was different. She couldn't rely on something convienant like Brent's amnesia from "The Hands of Time". She had to make it seem like a real person needed advice. She wondered who had actually thought of the idea - Scott or Victor. And her hands began to type.

Dear Jeff and Hilary;

I have a problem. I have feelings for two men, and I believe they have also have feelings for me. They are both so different and yet so much alike. I don't want to lose one by choosing the other. Please help.

Confused

Betty stopped typing. Yes, that's exactly what she was.

Wednesday 5:30 p.m

Hilary patted her already perfect hair into place. She waited for Eugenia to finish playing the theme music. "Welcome, listeners to 'Dear Jeff'," she glared at everyone in general, "and Hilary, the show that gives you a woman's point of view as well as the utterly unimportant utterings of a man's. And now I, Hilary Booth, will read our first letter."

Wednesday 5:45 p.m

Betty was hiding out in the Writer's Room, listening to the show. She didn't want to be around either Scott or Victor when the letter was read. She listened as Hilary choked again over having to put Jeff's name before hers. "Confused, I would say you need to choose the one who is the most thoughtful. The one who will care for you, and not forget you, or important dates..." Hilary's eyes shot daggers at Jeff. "Now, let's listen to some inferior advice from a lesser species."

Jeff shut his eyes in exasperation. "Confused, I think this is a problem only you have the answer to. But, I'll tell you this. If they both care for you, they'll want you to be happy regardless of who you find that happiness with. Don't underestimate them. They may surprise you." As he spoke he held out some papers and a velvet box to Hilary. "Happy anniversary."

"Oh, Jeff," Hilary sighed, forgetting she was still on the air. "But our anniversary was yesterday. Why wait?"

"Your gift didn't arrive until today. Read it." The papers were the legal annulment of the marriage of Jeff Singer and Pavla, the Czechoslovakian chamber-pot.

Hilary squealed, this time in delight. "I couldn't ask for a better gift."

"There's more. Open the box."

This time, Hilary was completely speechless. Inside was a diamond ring incased in a circle of pearls. Jeff put it on her finger. "Hilary Booth, will you marry me?"

"Oh, Jeffrey," Hilary breathed. Confused, "Dear Jeff and Hilary", and the entire studio were forgotten. Years of working at WENN had left Eugenia able to cope with anything. She began to play romantic music to fill in the remaing minutes.

Wednesday 5:55 p.m

Jeff and Hilary snuggled together on the coch in the Green Room. "You know, you haven't given me my gift," Jeff reminded her.

Hilary kissed him, first on the nose and then on the mouth. "When we get home." She pulled herself away slightly. "We'll have to change the date of our anniversary now."

Wednesday 6:00 p.m

Betty turned off the radio. "Dear Jeff and Hilary" told her exactly what she was afraid of. The only answer to her problem was the one she provied for herself. And right now, there was no answer.

The End

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