Chapter 3
"Our
glorious city/ Was built by the divinities, by g-ds/ Who saw fit to bestow/
The gift of paradise/ Peaceful and harmonious upon/ Us mere mortals below"
~Elton John's "El Dorado"
Nick's world stopped.
HIV positive? Not him. Not now. Not when he was at the height of his career,
the top of his game.
Nick looked down at his shaking hand and tried to get a firm grip on his nerves.
Freeing his hand from Sara's, Nick placed his head in his hands in disbelief.
Nick looked upward, hoping that he had not heard what he thought he had heard
just a few moments before. A feeling of total disbelief washed over Nick.
Moments later, that disbelief turned to guilt as Nick's eyes fell upon Sara's
stomach: the very place where his unborn baby lie.
He could hear Sara crying softly, obviously trying to conceal all of her pain,
but one fleeting glance toward his love made Nick's eyes water and his heart
ache. He still couldn't believe it. HIV positive? Him?
Dr. Matheson watched the scene unfold. It was one he was sure in his 27 years
of medical experience he would never forget. The two young adults were dealing
with the situation in their own ways. Nick, being the one caught most off guard,
had turned inward to solve this problem where as Sara, who was considerably
more, but not, nor ever could be, totally prepared for this moment, was showing
how she felt as hot roads of tears paved their way down her cheeks. Dr. Matheson
turned away briefly because as much as it hurt him to tell the couple, he knew
it hurt them more.
Sara felt overwhelmed by the news. HIV positive? Did that mean she was too?
A soft flutter in her stomach made another question appear in the back of her
mind: was her baby HIV positive? Placing her baby before herself, she decided
to ask the question.
"What about the baby?"
Nick lifted his face towards Sara upon her asking. He could feel his eyes stinging,
the tears wanting to show themselves, and somehow, almost magically, his hand
found hers. They held each other's hands firmly as they waited for the critical
response from the doctor.
"Well," Dr. Matheson started, "this is where the line blurs.
Sara, I highly suggest you get yourself tested as well and schedule another
gynecologist appointment as soon as humanly possible. If you explain the situation
and what they should test for, I'm positive that they can schedule you immediately."
"What are we supposed to do in the meantime?" Nick asked, still shaken,
but taking it considerably better than the doctor had calculated. "Do we
just wait for the end to come or what?"
"I'd think that you might want to contact all of your sexual partners that
you've ever had. Look them up, find them. Just get in contact with them somehow.
You owe it to them to at least let them know that there's a risk of becoming
infected."
Nick's gaze once again returned to the floor. "Isn't there something you
can do? Isn't there some sort of pill I can take to reverse this?"
Dr. Matheson shook his head. "I'm sorry, Nick. There's nothing at this
time. HIV affects the blood and especially the red and white blood cells. It
creates a deficiency of white blood cells which weakens your immune system;
which is why you haven't been able to fight off your cold." He handed Nick
a slip of paper. Answering Nick's questioning eyes, he continued. "It's
a prescription for an antibiotic. It might increase your wbc, or white blood
count. You'll need to go for testing every so often to see how everything's
going."
"How's everything now?" Sara asked.
"We've seen better cases," Dr. Matheson stated. "This could be
a gateway to something called full blown AIDS, which basically destroys your
immune system."
"So you're saying that I could possibly die from a cold," Nick said
numbly. He couldn't feel anything. He was numb. His head felt like it was going
to explode from what was being said. His heart broke for Sara. His body was
wracked with guilt for their baby. Nick was going through so many emotions that
he wasn't even sure he was really awake.
"It's an unlikely case for that to actually happen, but it could lead to
other illnesses." Dr. Matheson surveyed the scene for what seemed like
the hundredth time in one minute. "I'm going to go make a phone call. You
two need to do some sorting without me here. I'll be back in a few minutes.
If you need anything I'll be in the next office over."
As soon as the door shut, Nick and Sara were surrounded by a dark cloud that
was enveloped in silence.
"What now?" Nick asked
Sara looked at him. His eyes were sunken in and the lips that she loved so much
were forced into a terrible frown. "I don't know, baby, I really don't
know."
Nick's head went back in his hands. "I still don't believe this."
"Neither do I," Sara said quietly and for the first time showing any
sort of emotion on the topic. She wanted so desperately to change things: to
make everything better, but she knew there was no way for that to happen. "Nick?"
Sara asked timidly, "I think… I think I need a hug."
The young man stood and honored his significant other's request. They cradled
each other in each other's arms as they left the world at hand and entered a
universe all their own. For now they were safe: they were together.
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