Chapter 1
Tiffany's View
"I want it that way...tell me why...aint' nothin' but a heartache...tell me why...aint' nothin' but a mistake...tell me why..."
"You have a nice voice Mom," Michelle complimented walking into the room. I looked at her while jogging and smiled.
"Thanks honey."
"You're welcome."
"So what can I do for you?"
"I have a question," she said sitting down on another machine.
"What might that be?"
"Well...I was kind of wondering...um...OK, what does love feel like?" she asked softly. I was a little taken aback from her question.
"Why do you want to know about that honey?" I asked.
"I was just kind of wondering," she mumbled.
"Is this about you and Vince?" I asked. Her head snapped up at the mention of his name and smiled.
"Maybe."
"Maybe?" I asked with a little smile.
"OK, yes it is. I just think that I might be in love with him but I'm not sure. What did you feel when you first knew you were in love with Dad?" she asked curious.
"Hmm...the first time I knew I was in love with him was probably the first time I even met him. He was so damn fine! He still is," I smiled dreamily. She just gave me a disgusted look.
"Dad? Fine? I can't even imagine those words in the same sentence," she scrunched up her nose.
"Oh be quiet! You have to admit he is cute, a lot of girls still love him," I said. She just looked at me.
"Anyway...what I felt and what I still do feel is that whenever I saw Brian my stomach would get all these butterflies in them and I would be so happy to see or hear him. Just at the mention of his name I would smile and think about him. That's how I knew I was in love. He just made me happy."
"That's...that's what I feel," Michelle smiled.
"Is it? Well, then you must be in love and I do hope it's with Vince."
"It is," she said quickly.
I laughed lightly and said, "Just don't tell your father. He'd flip out if he knew his little girl was in love."
"You would think he'd understand," she said.
"No he wouldn't," I laughed.
"I guess you're right," she sighed getting up.
"I always am," I smiled.
"Thanks for talking to me Mom," she said quietly.
"Anything sweetie, I'm here for you," I smiled. "Now why don't you call cute and innocent Vince. I bet that's what you're going to do anyway."
"I am," she smiled and walked toward the door slowly. I sped up the tread mill a couple more notches and jogged a little faster. I didn't think it would do any harm.
"Oh yeah, Mom?" Michelle asked spinning around.
"Yeah?" I asked.
"When should I tell him?"
"Whenever you feel is the best time."
"All right, thanks," she smiled and then headed toward the door. All of a sudden I started to breath weird, I got light headed and my heart began to beat too fast. I slowed down a little but it just got worse. I quickly turned the tread mill off and got off. I was so dizzy I fell to the ground holding my head trying to make the spinning stop.
"Mom! Oh my gosh! Mom!" Michelle screamed running up to me. "Are you OK!?"
I just slumped onto the floor, I could barely breath and I knew that I was going to pass out. I was holding my head down, my eyes shut tight, trying to stop the spinning but it just wouldn't go away. I had the feeling that I was going to die right then and there.
"Oh my...DAD!!!!!!" Michelle screamed. "DADDY!!! COME QUICK!!! DAD!!!"
I heard pounding come down the stairs and someone burst through the door.
"Oh my gosh! Tiffany!" Brian yelled running over to me. He knelt down in front of me and lifted my head.
"Baby...oh my gosh...what's wrong!?" he asked frightened. His eyes were wild with fear.
"I...my heart," was all I could say. Michelle was crying off to the side and tears began to escape Brian's eyes.
"Call 911 right now!!!" he yelled at Michelle. I looked over through blurred eyes and saw the rest of the kids by the door, their faces filled with horror.
"No..." I said weakly. Brian looked at me questionably.
"No? Baby? No what?" he asked.
"Don't," I swallowed. "Don't call 911."
"What!?" he asked wide eyed.
"I'll be fine," I said looking into his eyes for the first time. I was beginning to breath normally again and my heart began to beat at a steady pace.
"But honey you're having a spell," he said worried. He was still crying. What he meant by spell was having a heart attack type thing but not as bad. My doctor calls it a spell when I start to get dizzy, I can't breath, and so on.
"Brian, I'll be fine," I said smiling weakly.
"No...we need to get you to the hospital," he cried.
"Brian please! I'll be fine! I was just working out too hard," I said getting up shakily. He grabbed my arm and helped me up.
"Look at me," he said taking my head in his hands and making me look into his eyes.
"Are you sure you'll be OK?" he asked. His eyes were filled with fear and worry, not to mention tears. I nodded my head. He sighed relieved and kissed my lips softly and hugged my tight. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him close. He started to sob into my shoulder as I began to cry.
"I thought I was going to lose you," he said softly. I shut my eyes tight and was about to say the same thing but decided against it.
"I'm still here," I said. I looked over at the door and saw Michelle moving the kids out of the room glancing at us now and then. Brian pulled away and looked into my eyes.
"No more exercise for you. I don't care if you'll gain 20 more pounds, I just want you to be safe," he said. I wiped some of his tears away and kissed him lightly.
"I need to go rest," I said quietly. He nodded and started to pick me up.
"What are you doing?" I asked curious.
"I'm not making you walk all the way upstairs, I'm going to carry you," he said. I shook my head.
"No...I'll be fine. I can walk up the stairs."
"Don't argue with me baby, I'm carrying you up and that's final," he said
serious. I gave in and let him pick me up. As he carried me to our room all
I could think about was what would have happened if I didn't get off that
tread mill in time to stop myself from passing out and I couldn't help but
feel that that wasn't going to be the last time something like this would
happen.
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