The audience stands up and cheers as Jerry Springer strolls out carrying a microphone. Jerry Jerry!! They chant as he glances at the camera, smiles, and says:

Jerry: Good morning and welcome to the show, today's topic is "FF7 vs FF8" Which video game will sell more? Which characters are more memorable? We'll all find out today.

Crowd: Jerry!! Jerry!!

Jerry: My first two guests are the main character's from both games, please welcome Squall Leonhart and Cloud Strife!!

Squall and Cloud enter from different sides of the stage, they take one look at each other before they attack. The crowd cheers until the bouncers pull them apart. The two boys slowly sit down.

Jerry: Welcome to the show boys.

Cloud: Hi Jerry!!

Squall: Hey Jerry!!

Jerry: So Cloud, what makes your games so much better then Squall's?

Cloud: (Glances at Squall) Well for one thing Jerry, our women are a hell of a lot prettier. I mean, have you seen that Selphie chick!? She looks like a he-she!!

Jerry: Well lets see what Selphie has to say on that. Please say hello to Selphie Tilmitt!!

Cloud looks surprised as Selphie rushes onto the stage. Squall laughs loudly as Selphie grabs Cloud's head and smashes her knee against it. The crowd chants Jerry!! Jerry!! As the bouncer drags Selphie to her seat.

Selphie: (Angerily) Cloud you @#$%!! How dare you @#$% call me a he-she!!

Cloud: (Rubbing the huge red sore spreading over his forehead) I was only @#$% telling the truth!! Look at your hair!! It looks like something @#$% died on your head!!

Selphie: At least my hair won't gouge someone's eye out!! My hair looks the that when I first wake-up too!!

Cloud: (Jumps out of his chair, knocking it to the ground) No one disses the hair you little mother @#$%!!

Seeing that there are two FF8 people on stage, and one FF7 person, Cloud sees that he's out numbered and slowly sits down again.

Squall: You see Jerry? Us FF8 people would never back down, even if we were out numbered!! Those FF7 jerks are such chickens!! Especially that Yuffie girl!! What a waste of microchip's she is!!

Hearing her name Yuffie comes rushing out an stage. With a ninja cry she somersault's onto Squall's head and tries to break his neck. It takes three bouncer's to pry her off of him.

Yuffie: Take that you @#$%!! I can beat your @#$% ass with my hands behind my back, and your skanky girlfriend's too!!

Rinoa comes running out looking worried and pissed at the same time.

Rinoa: You @#$%!! Squall is my man not Selphie's!!

The bouncer's pin Rinoa to the ground and drag her backstage kicking and screaming. Yuffie and Cloud laugh themselves silly at that. Squall and Selphie just frown.

Jerry: I think a new topic is in order.

Crowd: Jerry!! Jerry!!

Jerry: So, which game has better weapon's?

Cloud: FF7!!

Squall: FF8!!

Jerry: Lets bring out two guests who happened to bring their weapons of choice to the show. Give a cheer for Quistis Trepe and Aeris Gainsbrough!!

Crowd: Jerry!! Jerry!!

Aeris calmly strolls out holding up her metal Strikeing Staff. Quistis comes rushing out with her Chain Whip. Quistis wastes no time snapping the whip around Aeris's fragile neck. Aeris's face is nearly purple by the time the bouncer's get Quistis to stop pulling.

Quistis: Take that you mother @#$%!!

Aeris: Flat-chested bitch!! (She looks down at her own chest, blushes, and returns to her seat.)

Quistis: (Laughing) We can't all be big-chested bimbo's like that phony Tifa Lockheart!!

The crowd goes wild as Tifa run's on stage. She and Quistis manage to pull one another's hair and punch each other's faces a couple of times before being seperated.

Tifa: I'll show you who's a bimbo you @#$%!! You couldn't get a date with Squall for all the gill in the world!! No matter how high you "SeeD" rank is!!

Quistis blushes deeply and looks away, Tifa laugh's happy at embrassing her.

Jerry:(Looking annoyed) Anyways lets move deeper into our weapons topic, we got our two "best" gun slinger's back stage. Please give a shout to Irvine Kinneas, and Vincent Valentine!!

Both men stroll out on stage, guns drawn. Vincent begins firing into the audience and Irvine shoots at the FF7 side of the stage.

Cloud: (draws out his buster sword and starts swinging at the bullets.) You @#$%@#%$%!! I'll @#$% kill you!!

Irvine: Bring it on pansy ass!!

Vincent turns towards Irvine and starts firing. Irvine shoots right back. Several bouncers get shot as they try to break up the gun war.

Suddenly, Aeris strolls out on stage. She barely notices the bullets soaring in the air.

Aeris: Hey guys whats going....!!! (She screams as a bullet smacks through her chest. She falls to the floor dead.)

Vincent:(looking at Irvine) Oh my God you killed Aeris!!

Tifa: You bastard!!

Everyone stops what they're doing and stares at Aeris's dead body. After exactly ten seconds they all start fighting again.

Jerry:(Shakes his head and turns towards the camera) Well thats all the time we have today folks, until next time take care of yourselves!! (He ducks as Quistis's whip cracks dangerously close to his head.)

As the camera fades we can all hear the FF8 and FF7 character's yelling and cursing up a storm at one another. Squall's gunblade goes off, and the camera cracks in half, nuthing but static comes up on the screen......

Till next episode peoples, take care!!

The End......?