Loud cheers erupt but then quickly quiet down as Ivy from Soul Caliber strolls out with a microphone.
Ivy: Welcome to the show all!! Today's topic is "Dreamcast Characters vs. Final Fantasy". Which system will last longer? Which will sell more? Whose more memorable? Find out today!!
Ivy turns towards the crowd but gets no cheers. An angry old women stands up and shouts:
Audience Member: Wheres Jerry you ugly ass purple-haired bitch!! We want Jerry!!
Ivy promptly takes out her whip and smacks the lady on the back. The nosiey audience quiets down.
Ivy: Thats what I thought!! Jerry was to afriad to come today so I'll be taking his place. Any objections?
The room is silent as Ivy holds up her whip threateningly.
Ivy: Good, now heres my first guest, Squall Leonhart!!
The room is still deathly quiet as Squall walks out and takes a seat.
Ivy: So Squall how does it feel to be back on the show for a third time?
Squall:(Shrugs) Ok I guess, it gets kinda lame after awhile. I mean wow!! Fake silcon strippers, and hick leisbans. It gets old after awhile.
The crowd boo's loudly.
Ivy:(Looking annoyed) Alrighty then, lets bring out for the Dreamcast side..Sonic the hedgehog!!
A blue blur whiz's around the stage and runs smack into Squall. Squall's eyes bug out of his head as several large chucks of hair fall off into his lap.
Squall: My hair!! God I'm ugly!!
Sonic and Ivy laugh insanely as Squall runs from the stage crying like a little girl.
Ivy: Lets bring out Celes Chere for the Final Fantasy side!!
The entire room is silent as they wait for Celes to appear. Nobody comes out.
Ivy: Celes Chere!! Get out here!!
Still nobody appears. Gestureing for a camera to follow her, Ivy heads backstage.
Ivy: I'll get her to come out!! Scared of a little blue hedgehog!! Ha!!
Ivy and the Camera Guy gasp as they kick open the Green Room doors, to find Celes, Locke, Goro, and Katana in a compromising foursome.
Ivy: Dear God!! Turn the camera off!!
A few moments later the show reappears with Sonic, Tails, Cloud Strife, and Terra Bradford on the stage.
Ivy:(Trying to appear calm) Ok were back, so guests on stage, whose games are better?
Sonic: Ours cuz our graphics rock!!
Cloud:(Laughing) Wait until the Playstation 2 comes out my friend. That'll show you!!
Tails:(Smirking) Think so huh? Well your video game career is finished!! Our producers leave our games up for sequels. You'll be umemployed!!
Cloud: Why you &@#$%^* fox!! I'll &@#$%^* kill you!!
Cloud pounces on poor Tails and begins pulling on his tails. He manages to rip two of the three off before the bouncer's yank him away.
Terra:(Laughing) There!! Now your career is over too!!
Tails:(looking horrified) Nooooo!! They gotta grow back!! Sonic I'm still your side kick right!?
Sonic: Ha!! Your useless to me now!! I've already found someone else. Sweetie, come on out!!
A gasp runs through the crowd as Quistis Trepe proudly strolls out. Terra and Cloud hop to their feet in total shock. Quistis takes a seat on Sonic's lap.
Quistis: Hey Ivy!! Hows it going?
Ivy:(Face flameing red) You bitch!! I was suppose to be the new sidekick!!
Quistis and Sonic exchange a look before bursting into laughter.
Ivy: Stop laughing get ready to fight for your new job priss!!
Quistis draws out her whip as Ivy does the same. The camera suddenly turns up towards the ceiling as the sound of cracking whips and screaming people fill the air. When it turns back both Ivy and Quistis are sitting on the stage alone hugging and crying.
Ivy: I love you Quistis!!
Quistis: I love you Ivy!!
Ivy: We can star in our own video game together. On the Playstation and Dreamcast!!
Quistis nods and kicks the dead body of a certain little blue hedgehog out of the way as she and Ivy walk outta the room. All the characters from both system's lie dead at their feet.
The End!?!?
