*  A diet is a weigh of life.

*  It's something most of us do religiously:  We
eat what we want and pray we don't gain weight.

*  A diet is what you go on when not only can't
you fit into the store's dresses, you can't fit into
the dressing room.

*  One guideline applies to fat and thin people alike:
If you're thin, don't eat fast.
If you're fat, don't eat...fast.

*  The problem with curbing our appetites is that
most of us do it at the drive in window of McDonalds.

*  The most fattening thing you can put in an ice cream sundae is a spoon.

*  The biggest drawback to fasting for seven days is that it makes one weak.

*  Above all, dieters are advised to avoid Pepsi, the pause that 'refleshes.'

*  Sweets are the destiny that shapes our ends.

*  Diets are for people who are thick and tired of it.

*  The toughest part of a diet isn't watching what you eat.
 It's watching what other people eat.

*  Diets are for women who not only kept their girlish figure but doubled it.

*  A diet is when you have to go to some length to change your width.

*  It's not the minutes spent at the table that put on weight, it's the seconds.

*  Many women reduce and reduce, yet still never manage to become a bargain.

*  The best way to lose weight is by skipping...snacks and desert.

*  Most people gain weight by having intimate dinners for two... alone.

*  People go to Weight Watchers to learn their 'lessens.'

*  A diet is the 
modern-day meal in which a family
counts its calories instead of its blessings.