A computer network is a group of computers (or computer terminals) that communicate with each other (by phone or other cables or wireless transmissions).
The most popular computer network is the Internet. It connects computers all over the world, by phone lines and by other communication methods that are faster. You can connect your computer to the Internet, so you can access computers all over the world, peek at their hard disks, and transfer their info to your computer. The Internet transfers games, news, photos, love letters, chitchat, ads, and other info, public & private, to and from billions of workers, jokers, kids, and kooks across the country & around the world.
You can use the Internet to send & receive electronic mail and browse through announcements posted by folks worldwide.
The Internet gives you a huge sea of info. You stand on its shore, watch its waves coming at you, and get high by jumping into them. That’s called surfing the Net, which means “browsing through the amazing info available on the Net”.
You’ll get addicted to surfing the Net and spend many hours each day doing it. As you explore the Net, your electronic requests & their responses travel at electronic speeds around the world, on what Vice President Al Gore dubbed the Information Superhighway (I-way), propelling you through cyberspace (the vast, surreal world where all info and people are represented by bits, bytes, and electronic signals, as opposed to the “real world”, called meatspace, where people are composed of meat).
The Internet lets your mind fly around the world faster than an astronaut’s. Folks will call you an infonaut or Internaut or Internut or Net-head. You’ll have fun, while learning more about the world than any pre-computer human could ever imagine.
The Internet lets you read facts & opinions contributed by many people. If you contribute your thoughts, so they can be read by other people on the Internet and you’ve improved our world, you’re called a “good Internet citizen,” a netizen.
The Internet’s most popular feature is the World Wide Web (WWW).
How the Internet arose
The Internet arose because of the Cold War. Here are the details.
Cold War research
In 1957, while the US fought the Cold War against Russia, the Russians launched the first satellite, Sputnik. That made the US military realize it was dangerously behind Russia in scientific research, so in 1958 the US Department of Defense (DoD) created the Advanced Research Projects Agency (Arpa), which paid universities to do scientific research to help win the Cold War against Russia.
In 1969, Arpa created a computer network called Arpanet, which let university computers send data over phone lines using a sneaky method that would work even if Russians bombed the phone lines. The sneaky method was called packet switching.
It divided each computer message into many little packets. If a packet couldn’t reach its destination directly (because a phone line got bombed), the computer would sneakily switch that packet through different phone lines to different computers that would reroute the packet to its ultimate destination. At the ultimate destination, a computer would automatically make sure all packets arrived, put them in the proper order, and make any lost (or damaged) packets be retransmitted.
At first, the Arpanet included just 4 computers: 1 at the University of Utah and 3 in California (at UCLA, UC Santa Barbara, and the Stanford Research Institute). The next year (1970), Arpanet added 3 computers in Massachusetts (at MIT, BBN, and Rand). The next year (1971), Arpanet added more computers (in California, Massachusetts, Pennsylvania, Ohio, and Illinois), to make a total of 15 computers. The next year (1972), Arpanet expanded to more parts of the country, so 2000 people were using Arpanet — and they were starting to have fun, since electronic mail (email) was added to Arpanet that year. (Before that, Arpanet was just a big boring mass of technical documents & data.) The next year (1973), email became so popular that 75% of all Arpanet transmissions were emails; and research institutions in England and Norway joined Arpanet, so Arpanet became international.
On October 27, 1980, the entire Arpanet got shut down by a virus that was spread accidentally. The virus accomplished what bombs could not! Fortunately, the virus got eradicated.
Many universities around the world joined Arpanet because it was nifty, funded, and could be used for non-military purposes also, such as personal email.
Arpanet finally became too big to be managed simply, so in 1983 the military divided it into 2 networks:
One network, called Milnet, was strictly for use by military personnel (at military bases).
The other network, called “the new, smaller Arpanet”, was for civilian use (at universities).
To let those 2 networks communicate with each other, an inter-network communication method was invented, called the Internet Protocol (IP). That’s how the Internet began! IP came in several versions, the most popular being the Transmission Control Protocol for IP (TCP/IP).
At the end of 1983, the Internet included about 600 hosts (computers that had permanent Internet addresses and could supply data to other computers). The Internet grew fast:
How many Internet hosts
Year at end of year
Let’s see why it grew so fast.…
In 1986, the National Science Foundation (NSF) thought of letting researchers share 5 supercomputers by using Arpanet, but NSF changed its mind and decided to create its own network, called NSF Net. Like Arpanet, NSF Net used TCP/IP and was Arpanet-compatible, so NSF Net became part of the Internet. NSF Net ran faster than Arpanet (by running more phone lines between big cities, to form a strong Internet backbone), so universities switched to it from Arpanet. In 1990, Arpanet shut down permanently.
Arpa, which had created Arpanet, lived on but under its new name: the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (Darpa).
Packet switching is practical
Though packet switching was invented to avoid bombs, it has another advantage: it prevents any single user from hogging the Internet. If a “bad guy” tries to hog the Internet by sending a long message, the Internet divides his message into many little packets. Other users can squeeze their packets into the system without waiting for all the bad guy’s packets to go through. Any overloaded phone lines are automatically bypassed by routing packets through other phone lines.
Packet switching made the Internet “free for democracy” in 4 senses:
free from destruction by bombs
free from overload by user hogs
free from censorship by governments
free from big start-up costs (because government already paid for the backbone)
You can still wreck a country’s Internet if you’re evil enough to bomb all phone lines or send many long messages or force all Internet computers to censor transmissions. Though misguided folks tried such tactics, the Internet outlasted them.
The Internet was a boring collection of documents, data, and emails until 1990, when Englishman Tim Berners-Lee invented the World Wide Web (WWW). To be briefer, folks call it just the Web. Here’s how it works:
It lets you view a document on the Internet and, if a word in the document is underlined, you can click that word to get “more info” about that word. The “more info” can be a whole page and reside in a different file on a different hard disk in a different computer in a different country; so by clicking that underlined word, you can access relevant info from a different computer in a different country. The person who invented the original document sets all that up for you, so by just clicking the underlined word you automatically access the info you want without needing to know what computer or country it’s coming from.
The World Wide Web turns a whole world of documents into a unified system.
The underlined words are called links, because they link you to other documents.
To invent the Web, Tim was inspired by Ted Nelson.
Ted Nelson was a US visionary who in 1965 had predicted that text would someday be connected worldwide by underlined links and called hypertext. Ted Nelson’s concept furthered what an earlier visionary, Vannevar Bush, had written in 1945.
Tim was the first person to take the ideas of Ted & Vannevar, apply them to the Internet, and make the whole system practical enough for humans to use.
Tim invented the World Wide Web while he was working in Switzerland at the Conseil Européen pour la Recherche Nucléaire (CERN, which was later renamed the European Laboratory for Particle Physics). Afterwards, Tim moved to the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT), where he directs the World Wide Web Consortium (W3C), which plans the Web’s future.
Wartime use (1991)
The US’s allies copied Internet technology — and so did the US’s enemies:
In January 1991, during the US war against Saddam Hussein’s Iraq, the Internet’s ability to defend itself against bombs was proved in a strange way: Iraq’s own Internet helped Iraq’s military command network withstand attack from US bombs!
In August 1991, the Soviet Union was paralyzed by a news blackout during the coup against Gorbachev, but the truth got out to the world by Internet transmissions from Relcom (a small pro-Yeltsin Internet service provider in the Soviet Union).
To use the World Wide Web, you had to use a program called a browser. When Tim invented the World Wide Web, he invented his own crude browser. The first pleasant browser was Mosaic, invented in 1994 by Marc Andreessen, an undergrad at the University of Illinois’ National Center for Supercomputing Applications (NCSA). Since his research was funded by the National Science Foundation, everybody was allowed to copy Mosaic for free. Later that year, he left NCSA and formed a company called Netscape Communications Corp., which invented an improved Web browser (called Netscape Navigator) and sold it cheaply ($50 or less, per copy).
Mosaic and Netscape made the Web become more popular. At the beginning of 1994, there were 600 Web sites (places on the Web that provide Web info); at the end of 1994, the number of Web sites shot up to 10,000; in later years, the number of Web sites continued to climb:
Year How many Web sites at end of year
Mass market (1995)
In 1995, the Internet suddenly become more popular, for 5 reasons:
Netscape Navigator version 2 came out. It worked better than version 1.
Windows 95 came out. It handled the Internet better than Windows 3.11.
Microsoft invented Internet Explorer. Like Netscape Navigator, it was based on Mosaic and sold for $50 or less. Soon afterwards, Microsoft began giving Internet Explorer away for free.
The World Wide Web reached a critical mass: enough good Web sites were been created to make browsing worthwhile for the average consumer.
Many training schools offered crash courses in how to use the Internet.
That year, the Internet got too big for the NSF to fund. The NSF stopped running NSF Net but gave grants to help universities buy Internet time from commercial networks that sprang up, such as Sprint, Alternet, and Performance Systems International (PSI). Consumers could use the Internet on their home personal computers by making their computer modems phone an Internet service provider (ISP), which was part of the Internet. Many companies sprang up to act as ISPs.
Several old companies invented their own networks for consumers by using a trick: they took non-Internet business networks (which were busy in the day but idle in the evening) and offered them to consumers at low evening rates.
The first 2 such companies were Compuserve (owned by H&R Block) and The Source (owned by Readers Digest). After The Source went out of business, 2 other big companies arose: Prodigy (owned by IBM & Sears) and America OnLine (AOL). AOL bought Compuserve (and Netscape and Time Warner, but AOL later split from Time Warner). All those companies thought consumers would enjoy online reference materials (computerized dictionaries, encyclopedias, and databases) but discovered consumers preferred to just send email and chat instead of doing “research”.
When the Internet became popular (because it included so many email addresses and so many Web sites), those old companies modified their networks to include access to the whole Internet.
Unlimited access (1996)
Those old companies and new ISPs weren’t sure how much to charge consumers. At first, they charged $3 per hour. In 1996, most offered a better deal: unlimited access for $20 per month. (A few discount ISPs charged even less. A few business ISPs charged more, for superior service.)
Later came free ISPs, which offered free Internet service in return for forcing consumers to watch ads while using the Internet.
Here’s who invented and paid for the Internet.…
At first, funding came from the Defense Department (ARPA) and the National Science Foundation. To invent the Internet, much research was done by university professors (funded by government grants, student tuition, and alumni donations). Much research was done by student volunteers, who wanted to be famous by being helpful.
When consumer ISPs became popular, many consumers paid $20 per month per household. Many Web sites show ads, paid for by advertisers.
Many businesses pay for their own Web sites, in the hope that those sites will act as ads. The businesses also hope their Web sites will show lots of info online, so the businesses don’t have to mail brochures to customers and don’t have to hire employees to answer customer questions.
Many Web sites are created by startup companies who dream of greatness and convince investors to buy stock in that dream. Some of those dreamy companies succeed, and their stockholders get rich; other dreamy companies fail, and their stockholders lose their shirts. All those stockholders pay for the Internet and hope to reap rewards in return. While the stockholders wait for results, the company’s managers get high salaries (funded by stockholders), even though many of those startup companies haven’t earned any profit yet and never will.
In 1999, many such startup companies began. Investors sunk many millions of dollars into them, hoping the managers wouldn’t waste the money and would eventually turn a profit. Lots of jargon was invented to describe the situation:
A company whose Web site is its main fame is called a dot com (because its Web-site address ends in .com). Its employees are called dot commers.
A Web site letting customers type credit-card numbers to place orders is said to do electronic commerce (e-commerce) and offer an electronic shopping cart.
A company selling mainly to consumers is called a business-to-consumer company (B2C company). A company selling mainly to other businesses instead is called a business-to-business company (B2B company).
A company selling mainly to organizations who run Internet host computers (and helping those organizations improve their Internet computers & connections) is called an Internet infrastructure company.
An old-fashioned company (which ignores the Internet and runs just traditional retail stores in brick buildings) is called a real-world company and a bricks-and-mortar company. An ultra-modern company (which exists just on the Web and doesn’t bother staffing any storefront buildings) is said to exist just in cyberspace and be a pure-play Internet company. A company doing both — having brick-like retail stores (or warehouses) and also selling on the Internet (by letting customers use mice to click on what they want) — is called a bricks-and-clicks company.
If a startup company lures investors by telling an enticing story about how it could become profitable — but has no customers yet — its stock is called just a story stock.
Many Web companies are in San Francisco, where the managers are freaky-looking snotty kids who are young (under 30), wear nose rings, drive fancy cars, and got rich by inventing a story that got investors to give them millions of dollars, even though their companies haven’t made a profit yet and have hardly any customers yet and actually lose lots of money daily. Many Web-company managers bought office space in San Francisco (south of Market Street), encouraging landlords to jack up rents and kick out the poor people and non-profit organizations that had been there. People who resent those managers call them e-holes, dot snots, and dot commies.
Who uses the Internet?
When the Internet began, it was just for university scientific researchers, who were mostly men. But eventually the Internet grew, so people outside universities could get access. In the year 2000, women Internet users finally outnumbered men users, for 3 reasons:
The world contains more women than men.
The World Wide Web grew to become a big worldwide library. “Reading in a library” appeals to women more than men.
Email grew to be a powerful force. Sending email is like passing a note. “Writing, reading, and passing notes” are activities that appeal to women more than men.
Now the Internet can be used to spy on and control many things (such as appliances & cars), which are called smart devices and part of the Internet of Things (IoT).
To access the Internet, you can choose from 7 kinds of service.
Some people still use dial-up service. Here’s how it works.…
To use dial-up service, your computer must contain a modem. (The fastest kind of modem is called a 56K modem.) Unplug your home’s phone cord from your landline phone, and attach the phone cord to your computer’s modem instead, so your computer can make phone calls. Yes, you’ll be using the plain old telephone system (POTS). Tell your computer to phone a computer belonging to an Internet service provider (ISP), which charges about $15 per month for the service, billed to your credit card. You might have to pay a $20 start-up fee also.
The phone number your computer calls is called an Internet dial-up access number or point of presence (POP). Make sure the POP is a local phone number, so you don’t pay any long-distance bills. To make sure it’s local, ask your local phone company whether the POP’s phone number is indeed a free call under your calling plan.
While your computer uses the Internet through this method, your computer is “tying up the phone line”, so if any of your friends try to phone you they’ll get a busy signal. You can solve that problem in 3 ways:
Method 1 Tell the phone company to install a second phone line, which will cost you about $25 per month (including taxes).
Method 2 Use the Internet just late at night (or early in the morning), when your friends don’t try to phone you.
Method 3 Pay the phone company $4 per month for voice messaging, which makes the phone company create a voicemail system that takes messages when your phone is busy — but then you have to call your friends back at your own expense.
Of all the dial-up Internet service providers, the one with the best reputation is EarthLink, based in Pasadena, California.
It was started in 1994 by a 23-year-old guy named Sky Dalton, who ran a West Los Angeles coffeehouse, worked for ad agencies & computer-graphics companies, and was repeatedly voted one of the most influential technologists in the Los Angeles area.
Now EarthLink is national, affiliated with Sprint, and has POPs in Canada and all states except Alaska and Hawaii. Its POPs are in over 1000 cities! EarthLink recently bought excellent competitors (such as MindSpring, JPS Net, OneMain.com, and PeoplePC), so now EarthLink is even bigger and better.
EarthLink’s PeoplePC division is cheap: pay just $8.47 per month for the first 3 months, $17 per month afterwards, or save money by paying $114 for a year. To chat with an PeoplePC human who will help you get started, phone PeoplePC’s sales department at 877-947-3327.
To pay no money at all, you can try an ad-supported service. It’s the same as standard dial-up service, except you pay no monthly fee but must watch ads while you’re using the Internet. The main ad-supported ISP is Juno, which is owned by NetZero and limits you to 10 hours per month; phone 800-879-5866 for info.
Unfortunately, dial-up service is too slow to handle the modern Internet reasonably. Just 2% of people use dial-up service.
For faster transmission, try cable-modem service.
It resembles dial-up service, except you use cable-TV wires instead of phone wires (so you don’t tie up a phone line), get much faster transmission, and pay more (about $45 per month for the service, plus $25 for a Ethernet card (a network card you put into your computer, if your computer doesn’t have one already), plus about $50 for a cable modem (which attaches the Ethernet card to a cable-TV cord).
The cable-modem method has 2 advantages over dial-up service:
It’s much faster. For example, Comcast (a cable-TV company) offers local TV channels plus Internet access at a speed of 25 megabits per second (Mbps) for $45 per month (plus taxes). If you pay $55 instead of $45, you get 75 Mbps instead of 25 Mbps and also get more TV channels. That’s over 1,000 times faster than dial-up! Those prices hold for the first year; afterwards, Comcast jacks up your price.
It doesn’t consume a phone line; you do not need to get a 2nd phone line.
Since this method achieves its high speed by using a broad spectrum of frequencies for transmission, it’s an example of broadband transmission.
Cable-modem service is available just if your neighborhood is wired for cable TV and your cable-TV service company is modern. To find out, phone your local cable-TV company or a local computer store (such as your local Best Buy).
If your neighborhood lacks cable, try DSL service.
A digital subscriber line (DSL) is a broadband transmission method that resembles the cable method; but instead of using cable-TV wires, it uses ordinary phone wires and makes them handle many frequencies at once.
The most common type of DSL is Asymmetic DSL (ADSL). It costs less than the cable method: it usually costs $20 per month. Usually, it works slightly slower than the cable method, but it’s popular because it’s more predictable: it’s unaffected by your neighbors’ usage. It’s popular for businesses, who are in business districts that haven’t been wired for cable-TV yet and therefore can’t use the cable method. DSL works fastest if you’re close to a telephone switching station; if you’re more than 2½ miles from a telephone-switching station, DSL works so slowly that the phone company will refuse to install it. The main complaint about DSL is that service technicians delay several weeks before showing up to install it, and you must take a day off from work to wait for them, and often they don’t show up on the scheduled day.
To find out about DSL, start by calling your local phone company.
Verizon (a local phone company) offers fiber-optic service (FiOS) in some neighborhoods. It’s faster than traditional cable and DSL. Inside each cable, Verizon shoots light rays instead of wires.
$70 per month (plus taxes) gets you 100 Mbps. That price also includes TV and phone service.
To access the Internet, you can use one of the cell-phone companies. (The biggest are Verizon Wireless, AT&T, T-Mobile, and Sprint.) They send Internet signals from their cell-phone towers. Buy a smart cell phone (a smartphone), pay a fee to a cell-phone company, and have fun!
Using cell-phone towers can cost a lot per gigabyte. To save money, use cell-phone towers just when you’re not able to use other Internet methods.
To pay nothing for the Internet, try free-group service. For example, if you visit your local public library, you can use the library’s Internet-connected computers for free (though you might have to wait for other users to finish). While you’re enrolled in a typical college, you can freely use the college’s Internet-connected computers, which are in the college’s computer labs, libraries, and dorms. Many restaurants and cafés include free Wi-Fi hotspots, so you can bring your notebook computer and let it communicate wirelessly with the Internet.
If you can’t use cable, DSL, FiOS, or a free-group service (because you live in a rural area or boat that hasn’t been wired yet), try satellite service. It uses a satellite-TV dish to communicate with the Internet. It’s slower than cable, DSL, and FiOS. This service is financially attractive if you already bought a satellite dish to watch TV.
The main source of this service is HughesNet (800-428-9570), whose service you can also buy from resellers, such as SatelliteInternet.com (877-884-6795), which charges $40 per month.
The most popular part of the Internet is called the World Wide Web (or just the Web or just WWW).
The World Wide Web sometimes runs slowly. You can spend lots of time waiting for it to respond to your commands. Cynics call it the “World Wide Wait”.
To use the World Wide Web, you need a program called a
The first good Web browser was Mosaic, invented by a University of Illinois undergrad, Marc Andreessen, in 1994. Later that year, he left the university and formed a company called Netscape Communications Corp., where he invented a better Web browser called Netscape Navigator (or just Navigator).
In 1995, Microsoft invented a competing Web browser called Internet Explorer (IE).
Versions 1 & 2 were invented in 1995, version 3 in 1996, version 4 in 1997, version 5 in 1999, version 6 in 2001, version 7 in 2006, version 8 in 2009, version 9 in 2011, version 10 in 2012, and version 11 in 2013.
Its recent versions (5 and later) are better than Netscape Navigator. They’re free. They’re included as part of Windows. Windows 10 includes IE and also Microsoft’s newest Web browser, called Edge.
In 1998, Netscape Communications Corp. gave up trying to compete against Microsoft: the company sold itself to AOL, which wrecked Netscape Navigator by putting lots of AOL ads into it. But a group of volunteers called Mozilla.org (helped by funding from AOL) invented an improved ad-free Netscape Navigator called Mozilla then invented further improvements, called Firefox.
Firefox version 1 was invented in 2004, version 2 in 2006, version 3 in 2008, versions 4-9 in 2011, versions 10-17 in 2012, versions 18-26 in 2013, versions 27-34 in 2014, versions 35-43 in 2015, versions 44-48 in 2016.
For many years, people considered Firefox to be better than IE; but IE 9&10&11 are dramatic improvement over earlier IE versions, so they’re about as good as Firefox.
Another popular Web browser is Opera. It was invented in 1994 by researchers at Norway’s telephone company (Telenor), then spun off as a separate company (Opera Software) in 1995. It became famous for running faster than IE and Firefox and consuming less RAM. It consumes so little RAM that it can fit comfortably even in cell phones and the smallest videogame machines.
In 2005, a company called YouTube started putting videos on the Internet. In 2006, Google bought YouTube but was frustrated that IE was handling YouTube’s videos too slowly, so in 2008 Google invented its own Web browser, called Chrome, which handled videos faster.
Version 1 was invented in 2008, versions 2 & 3 in 2009, versions 4-8 in 2010, versions 9-16 in 2011, versions 17-23 in 2012, versions 24-31 in 2013, versions 32-39 in 2014, versions 40-47 in 2015, versions 48-52 in 2016.
Apple’s devices (the Mac, the iPad, and the iPhone) come with Apple’s own Web browser, called Safari. Microsoft used to make Mac versions of IE but stopped when Apple invented Safari.
Though Firefox, Opera, Chrome, and Safari were each intended to improve on IE, many people still use IE or Microsoft Edge, because they come preloaded on most Windows computers and have been improved, so they’re about as fast & good as those other browsers.
Here’s what people actually use on normal computers (not tablet, not phone, not embedded):
51% of Web browsing is done by people using Chrome.
30% of Web browsing is done by people using IE.
8% of Web browsing is done by people using Firefox.
5% of Web browsing is done by people using Edge.
4% of Web browsing is done by people using Safari.
1% of Web browsing is done by people using Opera.
1% of Web browsing is done by people experimenting with other browsers.
This chapter explains the most popular Web browsers: Chrome (version 52) and IE (versions 9&10&11). Other versions are similar. It also explains Edge, whose popularity is increasing.
(The iPad’s version of Safari is explained later, in the iPad chapter. Firefox, whose popularity is decreasing, is explained in this book’s 32nd edition, which you can get by phoning me at 603-666-6644.)
Install your browser
To use Edge or IE or Chrome, you (or your dealer) must put it onto your computer’s hard disk.
How to get Microsoft Edge
Windows 10 includes Microsoft Edge already. To use Microsoft Edge, you need Windows 10.
Get help To use Microsoft Edge, you might have to tell Windows about your Internet service provider (ISP). To find out how, read the instructions your ISP sent you. If you don’t understand them, phone your ISP’s technical-support number (or phone me at 603-666-6644).
How to get IE
If you bought your computer in 1996 or afterwards, its hard disk probably contains IE already, since IE is included in all modern Windows versions.
Get help To use IE, you might have to tell Windows about your Internet service provider (ISP). To find out how, read the instructions your ISP sent you. If you don’t understand them, phone your ISP’s technical-support number (or phone me at 603-666-6644).
Versions IE comes in many versions:
IE 8 requires Windows XP or Vista or 7. It’s included as part of Windows 7.
IE 9 requires Windows Vista or 7. It’s often included as part of Windows 7.
IE 10 requires Windows 7 or 8. It’s included as part of Windows 8.
IE 11 requires Windows 7 or 8.1 or 10. It’s included as part of Windows 8.1&10.
Upgrade This chapter assumes you have at least IE 9. If you’re stuck with an older IE version (before IE 9), use one of these methods:
Method 1 get a newer computer (which includes at least IE 9)
Method 2 if you already know how to go to a Website, get a newer version of IE free by going to
Method 3 get The Secret Guide to Computers 30th edition (which includes IE 5&5.5&6&7&8)
You can call my cell phone, 603-666-6644, day or night, for free help accomplishing those methods.
How to get Chrome
If you’re using Windows 10 (which includes Microsoft Edge), here’s how to add Chrome 52:
Start using Microsoft Edge (by tapping the blue “e” that’s at the screen’s bottom, to the right of the Start button). Type “www.google.com/chrome” (so your typing is in the address box) and press Enter. Tap “Download now”. For now, remove the check mark from “Set Google Chrome as my default browser” (by tapping the check mark). Tap “Accept and Install”.
The computer will say “Thank you for downloading Chrome”. Tap “Save” (which is at the screen’s bottom) then “Run” then “Yes”.
A window will say “Keep Chrome at your fingertips”. Close that window (by clicking its X) and close the other window (by clicking its X), so you can start fresh.
Turn on the computer.
Windows 10 Your computer came with Edge and Internet Explorer 11, and you could have added Chrome. Use one of these methods:
To access Edge, tap the Microsoft Edge icon (the blue “e” that’s at the screen’s bottom, to the right of the Start button) or the Microsoft Edge tile (normally the first tile in the second row).
To access Internet Explorer 11, type “int” in the Search box (which is to the right of the Start button) then tap “Internet Explorer: Desktop app”.
To access Chrome (after you added it), type “chr” in the Search box (which is to the right of the Start button) then tap “Google Chrome: Desktop app”.
Windows 8.1 Your computer comes with two versions of Internet Explorer 11. Access the powerful version (which understands the most commands) by one of these methods:
Desktop method Go to the Desktop screen (by tapping the Desktop tile). Tap the Internet Explorer icon (the blue “e” near the screen’s bottom-left corner).
Tile method Tap the Internet Explorer tile. You see a weak version of Internet Explorer. Switch to the powerful version by doing this: press the Menu key; tap the Page tools icon (the wrench near the screen’s bottom-right corner) then “View in the desktop”.
Windows 8 Your computer comes with two versions of Internet Explorer 10. Access the powerful version (which understands the most commands) by one of these methods:
Desktop method Go to the Desktop screen (by tapping the Desktop tile). Tap the Internet Explorer icon (the blue “e” at the screen’s bottom-left corner).
Tile method Tap the Internet Explorer tile. You see a weak version of Internet Explorer. Switch to the powerful version by doing this: press the Menu key; tap the Page tools icon (the wrench near the screen’s bottom-right corner) then “View on the desktop”.
Windows 7 Make sure you see the Start button in the screen’s bottom-left corner. Then choose one of these methods:
Double-click method Double-click an icon saying “Internet Explorer” or “Google Chrome”.
Start method Click the Start button then either “Internet Explorer” or “Google Chrome”.
Small-e method Click the small Internet Explorer icon that’s next to the Start button and has an “e” on it.
If the computer asks for your user name, type it and press the Tab key. You’ll see the Internet Explorer (or Google Chrome) window. Make sure it consumes the whole screen. (If it doesn’t consume the whole screen yet, maximize it by clicking its resize button, which is next to the X button.) If Chrome says “Google Chrome isn’t your default browser”, click “Don’t ask again”.
Hide useless toolbars (just IE)
Here’s how to avoid having your IE screen cluttered with useless toolbars:
Right-click the star (which is near the screen’s top-right corner). Make sure you have a check mark in front of just “Lock the Toolbars”, not in front of anything else. (If the computer asks “Do you want to disable this add-on?” press Enter.)
Click in the address box, which is the wide box near the screen’s top-left corner. (In IE 9 and Chrome, that box is white; in IE 8, that box is light gray; in IE 10&11, that box is white or light blue or light gray.) That box is also called the address bar or location bar.)
Any writing in that box turns blue. Then type the Internet address you wish to visit.
For example, if you wish to visit Yahoo, type Yahoo’s Internet address, which is —
Yes, that’s Yahoo’s Internet address. It’s also called Yahoo’s Uniform Resource Locator (or URL, which is pronounced “Earl”).
When typing an Internet address (such as “http://www.yahoo.com/”), make sure you type periods (not commas); type forward slashes (not backslashes).
The address’s first part (“http://”) tells the computer to use HyperText Transfer Protocol, which is the communication method used by the Web. The “www.” emphasizes that you’re using the World Wide Web. The “.com” means the service (Yahoo) is a commercial company.
Instead of typing “http://www.yahoo.com/”, you can be lazy and type just this:
That’s because the computer automatically puts “/” at the address’s end and puts “http://” before any address that doesn’t contain “:” already.
In an Internet address, each period is called a dot, so “www.google.com” is pronounced “dubbilyoo dubbilyoo dubbilyoo dot yahoo dot com” by literate computerists; grunters say just “wuh wuh wuh dot yahoo dot com”.
Notice that the typical address (such as “www.yahoo.com”) begins with “www.” and ends with “.com”.
At the end of your typing, press Enter. (If you typed just “yahoo.com” and forgot to type the “www.”, the computer will automatically do the “www.” for you after a slight delay.)
Here’s another shortcut: you can type just —
but afterwards, instead of just pressing the Enter key, do this:
Hold down the Ctrl key; and while you keep holding down the Ctrl key, tap the Enter key.
That “Ctrl with Enter” makes the computer automatically type the “www.” and “.com” for you.
Here’s another shortcut: start typing “yahoo” (by typing “y” then “a” then “h”) but look below where you’re typing; if you see what you want (such as www.yahoo.com) because the computer successfully guessed what you wanted, click the computer’s correct guess.
Here’s another shortcut: start typing “yahoo” (by typing “y” then “a”) but notice that if it’s something you typed previously, the computer will complete the typing for you: if you’re satisfied with the computer’s typing, just press Enter afterwards.
Using any of those methods, you’ll eventually see the beginning of Yahoo’s home page.
Seeing the rest of the page To see the rest of the page, click the scroll-down arrow (the 6 or Ú near the screen’s bottom right corner) or roll the mouse’s wheel (which is between the mouse’s buttons) toward you or put your finger in the screen’s middle and swipe up. To see the page’s beginning again, click the scroll-up arrow (5 or Ù) or roll the mouse’s wheel away from you or put your finger in the screen’s middle and swipe down.
On Yahoo’s home page, you see many topics to choose from.
The screen’s left edge shows these 13 hot topics:
mail, news, sports, finance, celebrity, sports, shopping, movies, poitics, beauty, style tech, TV
The screen’s center shows today’s news. The rest of the screen shows extra topics.
Each topic is called a link (or hot spot). Click whichever link interests you.
You can click anyplace where the mouse’s pointer-arrow turns into a pointing finger. But for your first experiment, I recommend you click an item from today’s news (in the screen’s center), since the news is simpler to handle than the topics at the screen’s edges.
As soon as you click — presto! — the computer shows you a whole new page, devoted entirely to the topic you linked to! Read it and enjoy!
While you’re looking at that new page, you’ll see its address in the address box. On that new page, you’ll see more topics that are links: places where the mouse’s pointer-arrow turns into a pointing finger. (The links are usually underlined or colored or bolded.) Click whichever link interests you, to visit a further page.
Back & forth
After admiring the new page you’re visiting, if you change your mind and want to go back to the previous page you were looking at, click the Back button (which is near the screen’s top-left corner and has a left-arrow on it).
Then you see the previous page. (On that page, any links you clicked might have changed color.)
After clicking the Back button, if you change your mind again and wish you hadn’t clicked the Back button, click the Forward button (which is next to the Back button and has a right-arrow on it).
Back list To hop back several pages, you can click the Back button several times.
To hop back faster, right-click the Back button (or while pointing at the Back button, hold down the mouse’s left button awhile). You see a list of pages you visited recently. The list is short: at most 9 pages in IE, 10 pages in Edge, 17 pages in Chrome. Click the page you want to go back to.
Home (useful just in IE) Each time you launch IE, the first page you see is called your start page or home page (because that’s where life starts — at home). If you view other pages (by clicking links) and later change your mind, you can return to viewing the home page by clicking the Back button many times — or click the Home button once. (The Home button has a picture of a house on it. It’s near the screen’s top-right corner.)
History Here’s how to see a list of pages you visited in the last few weeks:
Edge Tap the Hub button (which is a stack of 3 horizontal lines) then the History button (which shows a counterclockwise arrow going back around a clock). You see the History window.
Decide which time’s history you want to see: tap either “Last hour” or “Earlier today” or “Yesterday” or “Last week” or “Older”. (Tap once or twice, until you see that date’s list of pages.) Tap whichever page you want to visit.
IE Click the Favorites button (which is a star) then the word “History”. You see the History window.
Decide which date’s history you want to see: click either “Today” or a recent day or “Last Week” or “2 Weeks Ago” or “3 Weeks Ago”. (Click once or twice, until you see that date’s list of sites; then click a site once or twice, until you see that site’s list of pages.) Click whichever page you want to visit.
Chrome While holding down the Ctrl key, tap the H key.
You see a list of all pages you visited in the last few weeks. (To see the whole list, scroll down.)
Which page do you want to visit? Click the page’s title (which is usually capitalized words), not the page’s www, not the page’s icon (symbol).
Favorites If you’re viewing a wonderful page, here’s how to make the computer remember that the page is one of your favorites and bookmark it.
Edge Tap the Add-to-favorites button (which is a star) then the star below it then “Save”.
In the future, whenever you want to return to your favorite pages, tap the Hub button (which is a stack of 3 horizontal lines) then the star below it: you’ll see a list of your favorite pages. Tap whichever page you want to visit, (or delete a page from the list by doing this: right-click the page name you want to delete, then tap “Delete”).
IE Click the Favorites button (which is a star) then “Add to Favorites”. Press Enter.
In the future, whenever you want to return to your favorite pages, click the Favorites button (which is a star) then the word “Favorites” that’s left of “Feeds”: you’ll see a list of your favorite pages. Click whichever page you want to visit (or delete a page from the list by doing this: right-click the page name you want to delete, then click “Delete”).
Chrome Click the star (which is near the screen’s top-right corner). Press Enter.
In the future, whenever you want to return to that page, click the Menu button (the symbol º, which is near the screen’s top-right corner) then “Bookmarks”: you’ll see a list of your favorite pages. Click whichever page you want to visit (or delete a page from the list by doing this: right-click the page name you want to delete, then click “Delete”).
Open something different
To switch to a completely different address, click in the address box again then type the Internet address you wish to visit.
For example, if you wish to visit Google, type this —
or type just this:
At the end of your typing, press Enter.
In the screen’s middle, you see a white box, called the
Try this experiment: click in the search box, then type a topic that interests you. For example, type:
Don’t bother capitalizing: the computer ignores capitalization.
At the end of your typing, press Enter. Google will find about 425 million Web pages mentioning Lincoln. Google will begin by listing, at the screen’s left edge, 14 Web pages that Google thinks you’ll find the most useful, plus some ads. (Ads are usually in a box and say “Ad” or “Sponsored”.)
For example, if you asked for “lincoln”, Google will list 10 Web pages about President Abraham Lincoln, Lincoln cars (made by Ford), the town of Lincoln in Massachusetts, and the Lincoln Financial Group (an insurance company). To see all 10 of those Web pages, scroll down to the bottom of the page by using your mouse’s wheel or the down-arrow near the screen’s bottom-right corner or sliding your finger up the screen.
Each Web page’s name is blue. Click whichever Web page you want — or click “Next” (at the bottom of Google’s page) to see a list of 10 more Web pages about Lincoln.
To be more specific, type more words in the search box. For example, if you’re interested just in Abraham Lincoln, type:
If you’re interested in just Lincoln cars, type:
If you’re interested in just Abraham Lincoln’s log cabin, type:
Abraham Lincoln log cabin
Google is called a search site, since its purpose is to help
you search for other sites on the Internet. (Yahoo is also a search site, since
it includes a search box, but Yahoo’s search box doesn’t work as well as
Google’s.) Google and Yahoo are also called
Web portals, since their purpose is to serve as a grandiose door through which you pass to launch your journey across the World Wide Web.
While you’re viewing a page, here’s how to print a copy of it onto paper:
Edge While holding down the Ctrl key, tap the P key. Tap “Print”.
IE While holding down the Ctrl key, tap the P key. Press Enter.
Chrome Click the Menu button (the symbol º) then “Print”. Press Enter.
That makes your printer try to print the whole page — even the part of the page that goes below the screen’s bottom edge and doesn’t fit on the screen.
If the Web page is wider than your paper, the computer squeezes the Web page onto your paper by printing a shrunken image of the page.
If the Web page is very wide, make the printer rotate the page 90 degrees, so it fits on the paper. Here’s how:
Edge While holding down the Ctrl key, tap the P key. Tap the box under “Orientation”. Tap “Landscape” then “Print”.
IE Click the Tools button (which is a bumpy-circle gear at the screen’s left edge) then Print then Page Setup then Landscape then OK. Then while holding down the Ctrl key, tap the P key.
Chrome Click the Menu button (the symbol º) then “Print” then the Layout box then “Landscape”. Then press Enter.
Here’s how to make your computer’s RAM (memory chips) hold two Web pages simultaneously, so you can switch back and forth between those pages fast.
While you’re viewing a Web page, try one of these activities:
Click a link while holding down the Ctrl key.
While the mouse is pointing at a link, click the mouse’s wheel (instead of the mouse’s left button).
In the address box, type an address and then, while holding down the Alt key, press Enter.
Near the screen’s top, you see two wide tabs: each tab contains a Web page’s name (title). To switch between the two Web pages, click their tabs.
When you get tired of having two tabs, here’s how to have just one tab again:
Decide which tab you don’t want anymore. For Chrome, click the X on that tab; for Edge & IE, click that tab then the X on it.
That tab disappears, along with its Web page, so you see just the other tab.
When you finish using Edge or IE or Chrome, close its window (by clicking its X button).
3 ways to search
Here are the 3 popular ways to search for a topic on the Web.
In a search box, type the topic you’re interested in, and then press Enter. That makes Google (or Yahoo or Bing) use its search engine, which searches on the Internet for pages about that topic.
Google has the best search engine. Here’s how to use Google’s search box. (Yahoo and Bing are similar.)
When you make Google search for a topic, Google typically finds thousands of pages about that topic. Google tries to guess which of those pages are the most relevant; Google begins by trying to show you a list of the most relevant pages (on a white background). That list is interrupted by some ads, which are marked “sponsored links” and have pastel colored backgrounds. The ads relate vaguely to the topic you requested, but you can ignore them. They’re listed first because the advertisers paid for such listing.
What Google ignores Google ignores capitalization, so don’t bother capitalizing. Typing “george washington” has the same effect as typing “George Washington”.
In the search box, type just words separated by spaces. Google ignores commas, periods, question marks, and exclamation points.
Google usually ignores these common words:
be, is, are, was, will
of, for, about, in, on
what, when, where, why, how
Restricting your search The more words you type in the search box, the more restricted the search will be, since Google will show you a Web page just if the page includes all the words you mentioned.
If you type “bush”, Google will list all Web pages that mention “bush”. Google will guess that you’re mainly interested in the British rock band called “Bush” or President George W. Bush, so it will begin by listing Web pages about them. Google will also mention Web pages about the Bush School (a prep school in Seattle) and the Bush Foundation (founded by Archibald & Edith Bush), and eventually many other people named Bush, a discothèque in Belgium called “La Bush”, any plant called a “bush”, and pubic hair (for which the slang word is “bush”).
If you’re more specific, Google will mention fewer Web pages.
For example, if you’re interested in just Kate Bush the singer, type “Kate Bush” instead of just “Bush”. Then Google will show you info about just Kate Bush.
If you want info about plants that are bushes, type “bush plant”. That gets you mostly Web pages about plants that are bushes but also includes a few jokes about President Bush being a plant and some comments about President Bush’s opinions of nuclear power plants. You can also try “bush shrub” or “bush garden” (which includes info about gardens but also about a Japanese restaurant called “Bush Garden”) or “bush landscaping”.
If you type “bush pubic”, you get Web pages about shaving & combing pubic hair and a feminist protest against George Bush. Go try other combos that get closer to whatever kind of info you want to know about a “bush”.
The more words you type in the search box, the more specific your request is, and the fewer Web pages will match. If you get too few Web pages, try different words instead.
Try variations. If you’re interested in plants that are bushes, and you don’t like what you get when you search for “bush plant”, try searching for “shrub” instead, which will get you a different list: Web pages that mention the word “shrub”.
Google notices your word order. If you say “bush plant”, Google begins by listing Web pages that mention “bush” before “plant”; if you say “plant bush”, Google begins by listing Web pages that mention “plant” before “bush”.
Google searches for just the words you requested. For example, if you search for “airline”, Google will list Web pages that contain the word “airline” but not Web pages that contain just the word “airlines” instead. For complete listings, search for “airline” then search again for “airlines”.
If you type quotation marks around a phrase (such as “to be or not to be”), Google shows just Web pages containing that exact phrase.
Which Web pages are important To determine which Web pages to show you first, Google considers how closely each Web page matches what you requested — but also considers how important each Web page seems to be. Google considers a Web page to be important if many other Web pages contain links to that page, and if the Web pages that link to it are themselves important also (by being linked to from other Web pages).
Phone book In the search box, if you type a phone number (such as “603-666-6644”), Google will look through phonebook white pages and tell you who has that phone number (if the number is listed).
If instead you type a name (of a person or business) with a city and state (such as “Russ Walter Manchester NH”), Google will look through the phonebook white pages and tell you the phone number (if the number is listed), street address, and ZIP code. When you type a person’s name, you must type at least the last name; do not type a middle name; type the first name or first initial if you know how it’s listed in the phonebook white pages. Instead of typing a city and state, you can type a ZIP code if you know it.
Maps In the search box, if you type an address (such as “196 Tiffany Lane Manchester NH”), Google will show you a map of that address.
Here’s another way to get a map. Go to:
Type an address. Press Enter.
Pictures To search for a picture (instead of words), do this:
Click “Images” (which is near the top-right corner). In the search box, type what topic you want the picture to be about. Press Enter.
You’ll see tiny pictures about your topic. Click whichever picture you like. You’ll see it enlarged.
Click the Back button to return to Google. Google will assume you want all future searches to be about pictures, until you click “Web” instead of “Images” (or until you stop using Google).
Single site If you want Google to search through just one Web site, say so. For example, if you want to search for info about Windows Vista just on Microsoft’s Web site (which is microsoft.com), say “Windows Vista site:microsoft.com”.
Who links to you? To find all Web pages that link to your favorite Web page, type “link:” then your Web page’s address, like this: “link:secretfun.com”.
Censor Google can censor the list of Web pages and pictures, so you don’t see pornography.
To change how Google censors what you see, click “Settings” (which is at the screen’s bottom-right corner) then “Search settings” then put a check mark in “Filter explicit results” (by clicking there) then the “Save” button (which you’ll see when you scroll down) then press Enter.
Translate Google can translate 80 languages (English, Spanish, French, and many others). Go to:
You see 2 big boxes.
Above the left big box (which is white), you see 3 languages (such as “English” and “Spanish” and “French”); to see other languages, click the “”. Click the language you’re translating from.
Above the right big box (which is yellow), click the language you’re translating to.
What text do you want to translate? Type it in the left big box (or copy it there by using copy-and-paste).
If you type words (or sentences or paragraphs), their translation appears immediately in the right box. To hear the computer’s voice say the translation out loud, tap the right box’s Listen button (which looks like a speaker).
To translate a whole Web page instead, do this:
In the left box, type the Web page’s address (such as www.SecretFun.com), or copy the address there by using copy-and-paste. Then tap the blue “Translate” button. You’ll see the whole page translated.
The translations are done by Google’s robots (which are computers). They make many translation mistakes but give you at least a rough idea of how to translate.
Cached pages When Google shows you a list of Web pages about your topic, that list is based on info that Google collected several months ago about the Internet. The list might no longer be correct. When you click on one of the Web pages in the list, the Internet might give you an error message saying the page no longer exists, or the Internet might give you a page different from what you were expecting.
Fear not! Though the original Web page might have disappeared from the Internet, Google’s kept a copy of that original Web page in Google’s cache. To see the original, go back to Google’s list of Web pages; but instead of clicking the Web page’s name, click the “” below it then click “Cached”. Then you’ll see the same original page that Google saw.
Experiment The Internet is huge. For a typical topic, Google will find thousands of pages about it. For the most popular topics, Google will find millions of pages.
If you try to fool Google by typing a short fake word (such as a nonsense syllable), you’ll be surprised: Google will typically inform you that the word was already invented by others and will show you several pages about it (because it turns out to be the name of a rock band, or an organization’s initials, or a word in a foreign language, or a word invented by a novelist to describe a splat-like sound). If you try to fool Google by typing several seemingly unrelated words or names (separated by spaces), Google will typically find a Web page containing them all (because the Web page is from a crazy novel or reading list or alumni list or dictionary).
Other search engines Here’s a list of popular search engines:
Try them! Each gives slightly different results.
Go to www.dMoz.org. That Website was called the Directory of Mozilla but is now called the Open Directory Project (ODP). You see this list of broad topics:
arts, business, computers, games, health, home, kids&teens, news, recreation, reference, regional, science, shopping, society, sports
That list is called the subject tree of knowledge (because it’s as tempting as the tree of knowledge in the Garden of Eden). Click whichever topic interests you (or click “World”, which lets you read the site in 88 foreign languages instead of English.) Then you see a list of that topic’s branches (subtopics). Click whatever subtopic interests you. Then you see a list of subsubtopics (twigs). Click whichever subsubtopic interests you. Keep clicking until you finally zero in on the very specific topic that interests you the most: it’s the fruit of your search!
That site was created by 100,000 volunteers. It organizes 5 million of the Web’s best sites. AOL funded that site and owns it.
Give your friends a sheet of paper and ask them to jot down the addresses of their favorite Web pages. (Or get lists of nifty Web addresses by reading computer books, magazines, newspaper articles, or ads.)
For example, here’s a list of excellent Web sites:
Topic Best Web site
driving directions MapQuest.com/directions
classified ads CraigsList.org
short movies YouTube.com
Type one of those addresses in the address box, then press Enter.
To understand how addresses work, consider the best driving-directions Web site, whose full address is:
The address’s first part (“http://”) is called the protocol.
The address’s next part (“www.MapQuest.com”) is called the domain name; it tells you which computer on the Internet contains the info. The typical domain name begins with “www.”, then has the name of a company (such as “MapQuest”). The domain name’s ending (called the top-level domain) is typically “.com”, which means “USA commercial company”. Some addresses have different top-level domains. Here are different top-level domains and what they mean:
.com USA commercial company
.org USA organization (typically non-profit)
.gov USA government (typically federal)
.mil USA military
.edu USA educational institution
.net USA network resource (typically ISP)
.us USA other (typically local government)
.ar Argentina .in India
.au Australia .it Italy
.br Brazil .jp Japan
.ca Canada .kr Korea (South)
.ch Confoederacio Helvetica (Switzerland) .mx Mexico
.cn China .nl Netherlands (Holland)
.es España (Spain) .no Norway
.fi Finland .nz New Zealand
.fr France .ph Philippines
.de Deutschland (Germany) .ru Russia
.dk Denmark .se Sweden
.hk Hong Kong .tv Tuvalu (South Pacific islands)
.ie Ireland .tw Taiwan
.il Israel .uk United Kingdom (Britain&N.Ireland)
Recently, these new top-level domains were invented: .info, .name, .biz (for business), and .ws (for website).
The rest of the address (such as “/directions/”) is called the page name; it tells which file on the computer contains the page you requested.
Type each address carefully:
While typing an address, never put a space in the middle.
Watch your punctuation. The typical address will contain a dot (.) and a slash (/). An address can also contain a hyphen (-) or squiggle (~). Addresses never contain commas, backslashes, or apostrophes.
For the typical address, type small letters (uncapitalized), since capitalized page names are rare. (The computer doesn’t care whether you capitalize the protocol and domain name.)
To enrich your life, go to the best Websites. Here they are.…
SecretFun.com is my own site. It contains info about the Secret Guide to Computers & Tricky Living. By clicking the links in the first pink box, you and your friends can read parts of the Secret Guide to Computer & Tricky Living free and jump to other sites recommended in this chapter.
Google.com finds the most topics on the Internet. If you type some words, then press Enter, you’ll see a list of the main Web sites containing those words. Its main competitor is Bing.com, which is owned by Microsoft. Try them both, to get 2 different views of your subject.
To find news headlines and the stories behind them, Microsoft offers these methods:
Tile method Click the News tile, which is part of Windows 8, 8.1, and 10. In those Windows chapters, I explained how to use it. At the screen’s top, you see a menu that divides the news into these categories: top stories, US, world, crime, technology, politics, good news, opinion, entertainment, money sports, Microsoft
Edge method Use Microsoft Edge, which automatically starts you at a home page whose menu divides the news into these categories: politics, US, world, technology, entertainment, sports, money, lifestyle, autos, video
MSN method Go to MSN.com/news, whose menu divides the news into these categories: headlines, US, local, world, crime, good news, politics, opinion, technology, video, photos
Bing method Go to Bing.com/news, whose menu divides the news into these categories: top stories, US, world, local, entertainment, sci/tech, business, politics, sports, health, products
You can click a category or just browse through the sample stories that are already on the main page.
An alternative is to go to Yahoo.com, where the news is less organized but more fun.
At the screen’s top, you see an ad. Below it, you see a big story’s photo. Below it, you see a row of 4 smaller stories. Below all that, you see a long list of stories.
Click any story you wish, to see its details.
Above each story in the long list, you see the story’s category. To see more stories in that category, click the category’s name. Avoid stories whose category is “Sponsored,” which means “This story is just a paid ad.”
Yahoo also offers a variant, at news.Yahoo.com, where the news tends to be more serious and adds this menu on top:
News Home US World Politics Tech Science Odd News ABC News Yahoo Originals
For a bigger collection of news stories, try Google News (news.google.com), which uses a computer (rather than humans) to decide which of the moment’s news stories are the hottest. The main stories are all in the central column, in bunches that have these headings:
top stories, world, U.S., business, technology, entertainment, sports, science, health
Each bunch (except “top stories”) shows just 4 stories; but at the bunch’s bottom, you see “More”, which you can click to see 3 more stories from that bunch, then click “More” again to see another 3 more. If you click a story’s blue headline, you see the full story; but if you click a story’s black 1-or-2 line summary instead, you see competing stories about the same topic. The righthand column shows the most recent stories, weather, sports, and local news. It also shows 4 stories from one nice source; to change the source, click the “>”.
The easiest way to predict the weather is to use the
Weather tile (which is part of Windows 8, 8.1, and 10) or the weather app on your smartphone.
If you don’t have those, try these Websites:
Weather.com (which is produced by The Weather Channel)
the Weather Underground (wUnderground.com).
An alternative is to walk outside, notice if you get wet or blown away, and guess the future. Your prediction might be better than the computer’s.
Here’s how to find the exact time.
For time in the U.S., do this:
Go to Time.gov, which is run by the U.S. government. You see a digital clock, which is accurate to the nearest second and updates itself every second. To see the time for a different time zone, click “3” (to go west) or “4” (to go east).
For time in many cities around the world, do this:
Go to TimeAndDate.com/worldclock. You see an alphabetical list of 143 cities and their times, accurate to the nearest minute. To see over 600 cities instead, click the “Cities Shown” box’s down-arrow then “Extended List”.
Click the place that interests you. Then you see its time accurate to the nearest second, plus a map of its continent. Scroll down to see its weather.
To see a particular big place, even if it’s not in that list, click the “Place or country” box then start typing the place’s name. Below your typing, you see a list of places that match what you’ve typed so far. (For example, if you type “Mos”, the list will include “Moscow, Russia” but also 8 other cities that begin with “Mos”.) Click the city you want.
An alternative is to go to TimeAndDate.com/time/map. You see a map of the entire world, with each time zone in a different color. Each red dot is a city. If you move the mouse pointer to a city, without clicking, you immediately see the city’s name & time. If you then click, you can also see its weather (when you scroll down).
The Internet lets you explore the whole world!
The best way to see maps online is to go to
Google Maps (maps.google.com).
You see a map of your neighborhood. If you click in the map then rotate the mouse’s wheel toward you, you see a map of bigger & bigger territory, until eventually you see a map of the whole world.
To see more details about a spot on the map, do this:
Move your mouse until its pointer is at the spot on the map where you want more details; then rotate the mouse’s wheel away from you (or double-click). If the map isn’t centered the way you like, drag the map (by holding down the mouse’s left button while you move the mouse). If you keep repeating that process, you’ll eventually find a map showing the individual streets, unless you pick a rural area or third-world country. Another way to get a map of a location is to click in the white “Search Google Maps” box then type the location’s address (or as much of it as you know) then press Enter.
If you click “Earth” (which is at the screen’s bottom-left corner), you see an aerial photo of that spot, taken from a satellite. Yes, you can even see a photo of your own house’s roof! (Exception: summertime trees look like giant cabbages.) If you zoom in on a popular street, you can even see what a person would see when walking down the street. If you drag your mouse left or right (while holding down the mouse’s left button), you see what the person would see when turning his head. When you get tired of looking at Earth views, return to a normal map by zooming back out then clicking “Map” (at the screen’s bottom-left corner).
Driving directions The best way to get driving directions is to go to MapQuest Directions (MapQuest.com/directions).
Go ahead, have fun! See how MapQuest advises you to travel to your neighbors, your relatives, your job, and across the country. Mapquest’s advice might surprise you: it might find a faster route you hadn’t thought of.
If the screen’s bottom asks “Let mapqust.com use your location?” click “Yes”. If the screen’s middle asks “Let Microsoft Edge access your precise location?” click “Yes”.
Start typing the address where your trip starts (so it appears in the “Where are you starting?” box at the screen’s left edge) or click “Current Location” (if you want to start from where you are now). As you type, you see the computer’s guess about what address you’re going to type. Click the computer’s guess (if it’s right) or finish typing the address yourself (and press Enter).
Click “Where are you going?” then type the address where your trip ends and press Enter (or click the computer’s guess).
Click “Get Directions”.
Near the screen’s left edge, you see “Route #1” and how many minutes & miles it will take. You also see a map, with the route marked in green. If you click “Route #2”, you see an alternate route instead, which is usually worse but might appeal to your personality.
Which route do you prefer? Click your favorite: “Route #1” or “Route #2”.
Click “View Route Directions”. You start seeing the turn-by-turn directions. Scroll down to see them all.
Click “Print” (which is near the screen’s top, above the directions). Then you see route directions that are even more detailed.
To print onto paper, then click the green “Print” button then the “Print” that’s at the screen’s bottom-left corner.
While you’re driving, reset your car’s mileage counter to 0 each time you make a turn, so you can use the directions about how far to drive before turning — or if you prefer, try using the cumulative mileages that your printer adds for you.
Warning: the directions might mislead you (because highway exit numbers have changed, or the directions accidentally say “turn left” when they should say “turn right”, or construction makes you take a detour, or a vandal removed a street sign, or you didn’t notice a turn), so give yourself extra time to backtrack, ask neighbors for directions, and try to bring along a traditional map!
MapQuest started as a division of a printing company (R.R. Donnelley), then became independent, then became part of AOL, so now AOL owns MapQuest.
Different countries The US Government has a branch called the “Central Intelligence Agency” (CIA), whose job is to spy on all the other countries. For a summary of what the CIA found out about each country, go to the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA.gov), then click “World Factbook” (which is below “Resources”).
Click “Please select a country to view”. You see a list of all the world’s countries and oceans. (Use that list’s scroll arrow to see the whole list, which includes 267 places.) Click whichever country or ocean interests you.
Then you see a map. Below the map, you see these 10 topics:
introduction, geography, people (& society), government, economy, energy, communications, transportation, military (& security), transnational issues
Click whichever topic interests you. To stop viewing that topic, click the topic’s name again.
Airplane flights If you want a cheap plane ticket and are flexible about what day you’ll travel, try CheapFlights.com.
Of the major airlines, Southwest Airlines (Southwest.com) and Jet Blue (JetBlue.com) tend to have the lowest prices. For other airlines, try going to Orbitz.com (a consortium of 20 major airlines), though Orbitz doesn’t handle Southwest, American Airlines, and Delta.
Hotels To find a hotel, try Kayak.com or Trivago.com, or rent a room in somebody’s home through AirBnB.com.
The Internet contains many reputable references, which you can use, free!
Encyclopedia Wikipedia.org is the world’s biggest encyclopedia — and it’s free!
It includes over 5,321,000 articles written in English, 3,783,000 in Swedish, 3,667,000 in Cebuano (spoken in the Philippines), 2,015,000 in German, 1,888,000 in Dutch, 1,828,000 in French, 1,362,000 in Russian, 1,321,000 in Italian, 1,305,000 in Spanish, 1,261,000 in Waray (spoken in the Philippines), 1,200,000 in Polish, 1,152,000 in Vietnamese, 1,043,000 in Japanese, 951,000 in Portuguese, 918,000 in Chinese, 670,000 in Ukranian, 529,000 in Catalan (spoken on the Spanish-French border), 518,000 in Persian, 459,000 in Norwegian, 455,000 in Arabic, and many in other languages (295 languages altogether), making a total of over 43 million articles.
To find an article, click in the empty white box, type the topic you want to search for, then press Enter (assuming your language is English). While you read the article, you can click any blue word to find a related article about that word.
The articles are written and edited by thousands of volunteers.
To edit an article yourself, click “Edit” (which is at the screen’s top) while you’re reading the article. (Exception: if the article is on a controversial topic that’s often vandalized, such as “Obama” or “France” or “abortion”, the article is locked so “Edit” is invisible.)
The edits you suggest will be reviewed by other editors, to make sure your suggestions are academically correct, appropriately footnoted, unbiased, and free of any sales pitches — and you’re not a vandal. The computer keeps track of who did which editing.
Some articles begin with a warning that the article needs further editing.
Old-fashioned professors required students to write “term papers”, but modern professors require students to write articles for Wikipedia instead.
The encyclopedia is based on the honor system: to keep it worthwhile, please edit responsibly!
Over 99% of Wikipedia’s articles are correct. A few are misleading, so you can’t trust Wikipedia completely and must double-check what you read there, but it’s a good starting point for your research on any topic, especially since most of its articles on controversial topics give a balanced view.
Health For info about health, start at InteliHealth.com. It contains info that’s reliable, easy to understand, and well organized. The Web site is owned by Aetna insurance company, but most of the info comes from (or is approved by) the Harvard Medical School and the University of Pennsylvania School of Dental Medicine, with additional input from the National Institutes of Health (a government agency).
More details from the National Institutes of Health (and the National Library of Medicine) are at MedlinePlus (nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus).
Bogus health claims, from marketers of supplements and “natural cures,” are called “quackery”. To find out which health claims are bogus (false), go to QuackWatch.com.
Tutorials About.com includes easy-to-read articles that tutor you in over 70,000 topics.
Click in the white box that says “Search”. Type whatever topic interests you and press Enter.
You’ll see 3 lists of Web sites. Ignore the first and third lists (both titled “Ads related to”), which are just ads; use the second list (titled “About WEB RESULTS”), which shows About.com’s tutorials: click whichever tutorial you want.
Fact checking Often you’ll hear a statement that’s hard to believe: a rumor, exaggeration, or lie, from a friend, politician, email, or Website. Check it!
To check the accuracy of statements by politicians, you can go to FactCheck.org or, even
better, The Washington Post’s
Fact Checker (WashingtonPost.com/news/fact-checker, written by Glenn Kessler & Michelle Ye Hee Lee).
To check the accuracy of other statements, go to Snopes.com, which analyzes pernicious rumors & lies (just as William Faulkner’s novels analyze the pernicious Snopes family). Here’s how Snopes.com works.…
At the screen’s top, you see a menu, whose most useful choices are “What’s New” (to see the newest rumors), “Hot 25” (to see the rumors that are spreading fastest), and “Archive” (to see the complete collection of rumors).
If you click “Archive”, you see these rumor categories:
autos, business, Cokelore, college, computers, crime, critter country, Disney, embarrassments, entertainment, fake news, fauxtography, food, fraud&scams, glurge gallery, history, holidays, horror, humor, inboxer rebellion, language, legal affairs, lost legends, love, luck, media matters, medical, military, old wives’ tales, politics, quotes, racial rumors, religion, risqué business, science, September 11, sports, technology, travel, viral phenomena, weddings
Click the category you want. Then you see a list of rumors, each marked “FACT CHECK”; scroll down to see them all. (Above them and to the right of them are ads, which you can ignore.) Click the rumor that interests you. Then you see the rumor’s details, with a circle. If the rumor is true, you see “TRUE”, whose circle is green; if the rumor is false, you see “FALSE”, whose circle is red; if the rumor is partly true, you see “MIXTURE”, whose circle has both green & red.
Another way to check for rumors is to click “Search keywords or URL” (which is at the screen’s top), then type the rumor’s main words. At the end of your typing, press Enter. You’ll see a list of rumors that relate to what you typed.
Snopes.com was started by David Mikkelson and his wife Barbara Mikkelson. She became the world’s best investigative journalist, but she fell ill, got divorced from David, and is no longer associated with Snopes.com.
Lawns For advice on caring for your lawn, go to a Web site run by the University of Illinois and called Lawn Talk (www.urbanext.uiuc.edu/lawnchallenge).
Click on one of these 4 topics:
planting & maintenance
weeds & other problems
other lawn care issues
Then you see a list of subtopics. Click on your favorite, then read the lecture.
The details apply to lawns in northern Illinois, but the general principles apply to all lawns. Next time you argue with your neighbors or family about your lawn, here’s how to make them shut up: say “I took a college course on the topic.”
You can reach your government through the Internet.
General site To explore the US government, start at USA.gov and follow the links.
Taxes For help with federal taxes, contact the Internal Revenue Service (IRS.gov).
At the screen’s left edge, you see a short list of popular forms & publications. If you want one of them, click it; if you want a different form or publication instead, do this:
Click “Find Forms”. Click “Search current forms and publications” (which is in the screen’s middle).
Type the word “Form” and its number (such as “Form 1040” or “Form 1040 schedule B”) or type “Pub” and its number (such as “Pub 17”) or type a tax topic (such as “mortgage”). At the end of your typing, press the Enter key.
You see a list of items that match your search. (If you typed a form number, the list includes the form and also its instructions.) Click whichever you want.
Then you see the form or instructions or publication you requested (assuming your computer contains the Acrobat Reader program, so your computer can handle a PDF file).
To print the file onto paper simply, do this (assuming you’re using Windows 10 with Microsoft Edge):
Make sure your printer is turned on. Click in the screen’s middle, so a Printer icon appears near the screen’s top-right corner. Click that icon (or while holding down the Ctrl key, tap the P key). Click “Print” (which is at the screen’s bottom-left corner).
When the printing has finished, click the Back button (which is at the screen’s top-left corner and has a left arrow on it) so you can see and print other forms and instructions.
Post office For info about how to mail a letter, go to the Web site of the United States Postal Service (USPS.com). It answers several questions.…
What’s the best way to write an address on an envelope? For example, if you live in the USA, what’s the best way to write your address? What’s your 9-digit ZIP code? What’s the best way to write your street name, house number, apartment number, etc.? You might be surprised! To find out all that, do this:
Click “Look up a ZIP Code” (which is at the screen’s left edge).
You see a form that has 6 empty boxes (called “Company”, “Street Address,” “Apt/Suite/Other,” “City,” “State,” and “ZIP Code”). Fill those boxes as best you can. (“Company” is optional. For the “State” box, click its down-arrow, so you see a list of states, then click the state.)
Click the “Find” button. (It’s at the screen’s bottom. You might have to scroll down to see it.)
The computer will analyze what you typed, fix your mistakes, and write the address the way the post office prefers it. For example, the computer will put in the 9-digit ZIP code, abbreviate words such as “Road”, “Lane”, and “Highway”, get rid of all punctuation, and capitalize everything, so your address will be written the way the post office prefers and junk mailers use.
How much postage should you put on your letter or package? To find out, do this instead:
Click “Calculate a price” (which is at the screen’s left edge). The computer will ask you a series of questions then tell you the correct postage. (One of the questions might be the package’s weight; if you’re not sure, give an approximation, and the computer will give you an approximate answer, which you’ll need to double-check by going to the post office and using the post office’s scale.)
You’ll be surprised at the range of prices and choices, depending on how fast you need the package to travel, what type of goods are inside the package, and how thick & long the package is.
Craig’s List (CraigsList.org), which was started by Craig Newmark in San Francisco, is a list of classified ads that you can read — and you can create your own ad, free! The ads are highly organized, so you can find what you want fast!
Craig’s List is very popular. Each month, Craig’s List has:
80 million new classified ads (of which 1 million are job ads)
over 60 million people reading the ads (making a total of 50 billion clicks)
To begin, look at the screen’s rightmost column, where you see a list of locations: click whatever country, state, or city interests you. (The menus let you choose from 700 locations in 88 countries.)
Then you see ads from that location, organized into 9 main categories —
community, personals, discussion forums, housing, for sale, services, jobs, gigs, résumés
and hundreds of subcategories. Click whichever subcategory you want. (Most subcategories are tame, but a few require you to be at least 18.)
For each ad in that subcategory, you see the ad’s headline. Click a headline to see its ad. When you finish looking at the ad, click the Back button (the left-arrow at the screen’s top-left corner), so you return to seeing the list of headlines.
While you’re looking at a list of headlines, you can create your own ad by clicking “post” (which is at the screen’s top-right corner). Posting your ad is free, except for ads in these categories:
therapeutic services (such as massage) in the USA
real-estate agents offering apartment rentals in or near New York City
dealers selling cars, furniture, and similar items in the USA & Vancouver BC
employers offering jobs in or near these 17 cities:
Atlanta, Boston, Chicago, Dallas, Denver, Houston, Los Angeles, Miami, New York, Philadelphia, Phoenix, Portland, Sacramento, San Diego, Seattle, San Francisco, Washington DC
Those few exceptions are how Craig’s List gets funded.
The computer can help you shop.
Banks To compare banks in your city, state, and across the nation and find out which offer the best rates, go to BankRate.com.
You see 9 categories:
mortgage, refinance, auto loans, home equity, student loans, CD rate, savings/checking, credit cards, personal loans
Each category has a circle next to it. Which category do you want? Click its circle.
Answer one or two more questions, then click the “NEXT” button. Then you see info about banks. But beware of these limitations:
When BankRate.com shows you just one bank, that might not be the best rate: it might be just an ad. To see the best rates, click “WE FOUND MORE”.
Bankrate.com doesn’t mention promotional rates (great temporary rates advertised to new customers for crazy-length terms, such as “7-month CD”) and negotiated rates (where a bank helps its old customers by matching rates from competitors), so ask your local bank about better deals!
Cars If you want to buy a car (new or used), visit these car sites to get smarter: MSN Autos (autos.msn.com), AutoByTel.com, Edmunds.com, and CarsDirect.com. To find the best prices, visit TrueCar.com, which compares dealers near you and gets them to bid low prices.
Housing To buy, sell, or rent a home, use the classified ads at Craig’s List (CraigsList.org), but also see the listings at Zillow.com, which gives you 2 menus. The top menu says:
Buy Rent Sell Mortgages Agent finder Advice Home design More
The lower menu says:
Buy Rent Sell Zestimate
To estimate what a house is worth, do this:
Click “Zestimate” then “Enter your home address”. Type the address that interests you and press Enter.
You see the estimated price for buying or selling the home. That estimate is based partly on the home’s assessed value and partly on what nearby homes have recently sold for. The estimate is close to what the home is worth if the home is normal (not weird or recently altered) and your town has kept accurate property records.
Below that, you see the estimated price to rent the home.
Above that, you see a map or photo of the neighborhood. Below all that, you see the home’s details: the number of bedrooms, bathrooms, square feet of floor space, heating & cooling methods, acres of land, year built, previous sales, assessed value, property tax, and similar homes for sale. If you click “More”, you see even more details. If you click “Neighborhood”, you see a map of the neighborhood, showing the value of many nearby homes.
The real-estate industry’s main Website is Realtor.com, which resembles Zillow.com but emphasizes its own agents.
Books To buy traditional books quickly & cheaply, you can visit Amazon.com; but to find the best books at lower prices you’ll often have better luck at Walmart.com. (To buy this book quickly and cheaply, phone me at 603-666-6644 for better deals, or peek at my Website, SecretFun.com.)
Eyeglasses To buy eyeglasses cheaply, go to ZenniOptical.com.
You pay just $6.95 for a complete set of glasses. That price includes high-index lenses with anti-scratch coating, UV protection, lens-edge polishing & beveling, frame, carrying case, and cleaning cloth. Add a shipping charge of just $4.95 per order (regardless of how many glasses are in the order). If you want special lens treatments or special frames, you pay a surcharge, but it’s small. Before ordering, you must find out what kind of glasses you want (by getting a prescription or making your own crude measurements). The glasses are custom-made for you in China and shipped by air from China to California to you.
Jobs To get a job, look at the ads at Craig’s List (CraigsList.org) but also visit Monster.com and CareerBuilder.com. Each of those 3 sites has a million jobs (plus advice), so you see about 3 million jobs total.
Buy a business Have you ever dreamed of being the boss and running your own business? But are you too chicken to start your own? Would you rather buy a business that’s already successful, and have the pleasure of running it? If so, go to the Web to find out what businesses are available for sale. A good place to start hunting is BizBuySell.com, which has 45,000 businesses for sale.
The Internet has lots of info about arts.
YouTube One of the most popular Websites is YouTube.com. It lets you watch thousands of videos (movies). Most are short (usually between 2 and 8 minutes long), contributed by amateur movie makers (mostly students in their dorm rooms). Many are hilarious. They’re much more interesting, per minute, than the stuff Hollywood churns out, and they’re free!
To use that site, you need a fast (broadband) Internet connection (cable, DSL, FiOS, or cell phone).
The screen’s middle shows many videos. Scroll down to see more. If you visited YouTube before, YouTube remembers what kinds of videos you liked, so it shows you videos that are similar. Click whichever video you want.
Most of the videos are tame. Some movies are raunchy but require you to register and confirm you’re at least 18 years old. Once you register, you can copy videos that you’ve created to YouTube.com, free, so all your friends and the whole world can admire what you’ve created!
While a video plays, try moving the mouse pointer to the video’s middle, but without clicking yet. Then you have these choices:
To make the video consume the whole screen, click the broken square at the video’s bottom-right corner, then click “Okay”. To return to normal viewing, press the Esc key (which is at the keyboard’s top-left corner).
To pause the video, click its middle. To resume, click its middle again.
To increase the volume (or unmute it), drag the white circle (near the loudspeaker icon) toward the right.
Each video has an ID, which is 11 characters long. While you watch a video, its ID appears in the address box after “www.YouTube.com/watch?v=”. If you know a video’s ID, you can see the video by doing one of these activities:
type its ID after “www.YouTube.com/watch?v=” and press Enter
type its ID in YouTube’s search box, press Enter, then click the sample frame
type its title in YouTube’s search box, press Enter, click a sample frame, then verify the ID
go to my video site (www.AngelFire.com/nh/secret/videos.html) and find a link to the video
Here are my favorite amazing videos. Warning:
“l” is lower-case L “0” is the digit zero
“1” is the digit 1 “O” is capital O
“I” is capital I
Classical music (which I’ve listed in the order the music was composed):
ID Title Contents
JdxkVQy7QLM Pachelbel Rant funny rant about how pop music copies Pachelbel’s Canon
PxvGz_LUKoo Canon PAgagNINI Pachelbel’s Canon wrecked by comedy group PAgagNINI
JdcZCHAeYW0 Vanessa Devils Trill sexy electric violinist Vanessa Mae plays baroque music
MNtYYuWILNE Turca Igudesman Joo play Mozart’s Turkish march but keep changing the key
baI8V6S6yl4 Wang Turkish March Yuja Wang plays jazzed-up version of Mozart’s Turkish march
rRgXUFnfKIY Beethoven 5 Beethoven’s 5th symphony, illustrated with colored blocks
MzXoVo16pTg PDQ Bach Beethoven Beethoven’s 5th symphony, played as a football game
hDXWK3W477w Beethoven 5th Piano Beethoven’s “Emperor” concerto, by Zimerman & Bernstein
eG1Olvh7vCU Chopin Ballade #1 pianist Horowitz plays Chopin ballade, while you see the score
eZm7OW3ufbc Horowitz Interview pianist Horowitz gets interviewed by 60 Minutes
yQ3kqNc-GJc Borge and Hambro pianists play both halves of Chopin’s Minute Waltz simultaneously
Aajtw30-YG0 The Cat Concerto cat & mouse play Liszt (but vimeo.com/161359411 is better)
zaqddtuGNC8 Lang Lang Hungarian Lang Lang (inspired by Cat Concerto) plays Liszt seriously
-562rqZ7sKI Borge Listz Rhapsody pianist Borge fights for a seat while playing Liszt
7ABZmE7ifdE Borge Mulvey pianist Borge fights a soprano singing Verdi’s opera Rigoletto
elQVmzhk2gA Dvorak Piano Quintet 5 music teachers from 5 countries play Dvorak’s 2nd piano quintet
M_VCbnqbwwA Rachmaninoff Piano Rachmaninoff’s 2nd piano concerto, while you see the score
ifKKlhYF53w Rachmaninoff Hands using wooden blocks to imitate Rachmaninoff’s big hands
vMBGK-REk2U The Second Waltz André Rieu joyously plays Shostakovich’s second waltz
HP1WFiNCCZU Argerich Shostakovich frenzied musicians play Shostakovich’s Piano Quintet
ID Title Contents
fYy2p_0DVMU Hail Mary song that made Pomplamoose a famous 2-person band
OvYZMqQffQE My Favorite Things Pomplamoose’s creative version of “Sound of Music” song
vsMIuuV05uc La Vie en Rose Pomplamoose’s creative version of Edith Piaf’s French song
X2BEhk1fqZo Je Suis Jalouse French woman jealous when her boyfriend’s ex-lover visits
qrO4YZeyl0I Bad Romance Lady Gaga’s song about destructive love (R rated)
l3WPKznFvfk Lady Pasta parody of Lady Gaga’s “Bad Romance,” sung by pasta
Ym0hZG-zNOk Beat It Michael Jackson’s video about avoiding fights
ZcJjMnHoIBI Eat It Weird Al Yankovic’s scene-by-scene parody of “Beat It”
tqDBB0no6dQ Pancreas Weird Al Yankovic’s parody of Beach Boys style
lvt4b_qwC_Q Cocktails For Two Spike Jones & his gang celebrate the end of Prohibition
KlyXNRrsk4A Last Friday Night Katy Perry, as a teenage girl freaked out about her wild party
8UVNT4wvIGY I Used To Know while nude & getting painted, couple sings about breakup
9bZkp7q19f0 Psy Gangnam Style Korean guy goes wild in super-stylish Gangnam district
8fgNibZKPwI Christmas Dance Korean troupe dances you “Merry Christmas” in 3 languages
nonVj7odbmU Homecoming Queen song from 1984, when “guns in school” were just fun fantasy
zqfFrCUrEbY My Generation the elderly reinterpret The Who’s “My Generation”
Mg9APRGaUS0 HappySlip Jingle “Jingle Bells” sung by a split personality
1Lj_lUai3ZU Children’s Song hey, kids, watch this fun video while mommy slits her throat
LbkNxYaULBw What Song Is This? national anthem backwards, so “brave” sounds like “vayrb”
DMGlQvPBQE0 Ed Roll’D Trololo on censored Russian TV, singer hides cowboy song’s words
Men trying to date women:
ID Title Contents
v6iE2j-e6m8 Free Lunch tale of a man who gets free lunches by dating
0lGd_a5P7XI How We Never Met a boy & girl eye each other and hope to date but never talk
tSdELZxEnHY Strangers Again alas, a relationship goes through 6 stages then breaks up
Surviving hard times:
ID Title Contents
sak-EW81qiU Na Ponta dos Pés ballet through a Brazilian slum
ZiRHyzjb5SI My Name is Lisa dealing with mom who’s not quite right and going downhill
ZBR2G-iI3-I I Will Survive Gloria Raynor sings about being ditched by a guy
t2667ogd5kw I Will Survive (turkey) a turkey imitates Gloria Raynor to survive Thanksgiving
Classic TV shows:
ID Title Contents
bfTyEtVIe84 Carol Burnett Dentist new dentist gets nervous, so screws up (Carol Burnett Show)
A_set7Do_gg Oldest Man Hot Dog rushed customer meets slow cook (Carol Burnett Show)
jfDyTUiL8xs Carol Burnett Funeral Robin Williams attends funeral, twice (Carol Burnett Show)
1W9kJw26_NQ Gracie Takes Spanish why “gracias” means “sit down” (Burns & Allen Show)
AmKRoNPJOFU Gracie Confuses Desk you didn’t know a secretary is a desk? (Burns & Allen Show)
XPpsI8mWKmg Last F**kable Day famous actresses get too old to fuck (rated R) (Amy Shumer)
Magic by spliced videos:
ID Title Contents
dNJdJIwCF_Y Fresh Guacamole turn a hand grenade into guacamole
xNV4KFqXyz4 Zach King Magic jump into a moving car, and beyond, using Vines videos
database To find out details about famous movies, go to the
Internet Movie Database (IMDb.com) then do this:
Click in the white box that’s next to “go”. Type your favorite topic (for example, type the name of an actor, actress, director, or movie) then press Enter. The computer will show you a list of underlined topics similar to what you typed; click the topic you want.
You’ll see lots of info about that topic.
For example, if the topic’s a famous movie, you’ll see info about its actors, actresses, director, writers, plot, quotable lines, and mistakes. You’ll also get lots of opinions (from ordinary folks) about whether the movie was any good. Those man-in-the-street opinions are much more emotional and to-the-point than the blather published by most movie “critics”. Different people notice different things about a movie: after you’ve watched a movie, read these reviews to find out what you didn’t notice! You can also add your own comments about the movie (if you register, which is free), and you can get and give a list of similar movies that are recommended.
The Website is extremely well linked. For example, if you look up a movie, you see links to each member of the cast and staff who created the movie; each such link takes you to a biography of that person. So if you’re watching a movie and wonder “Where have I seen him before?” just click on his link to find out! You can link back: each person’s biography contains links to all the movies the person was in.
Because of the good links and content, this Website is on everybody’s list of “the best Web sites ever created”.
Free music To hear your favorite music, you can use 2 free methods:
Method 1 Go to YouTube.com, which has videos, and see whether anybody made a video about your favorite music.
Method 2 Go to Pandora.com. You see a white box saying “Enter an artist, song, or genre to create a station”. Click in that box. Type the name of your favorite performer, song, composition, composer, or musical style (and press Enter). The computer will invent a radio station that plays music similar to what you requested. You’ll hear the station’s first song. If you want to skip to the next song, click “|”, which is at the screen’s top. Under each song’s icon, you see a thumbs-down button and a thumbs-up button; click one of those buttons (or click “menu” then “I’m tired of this song”) to tell the computer whether you liked the song, so the computer learns what kind of songs you like most and adjusts the radio station to please you more.
Rap Dictionary When you listen to rap music, do you understand all the slang? If not, go to The Rap Dictionary (RapDict.org), which defines about 5000 slang words. If you want the definition of a specific word, click in the Search box (at the screen’s top-right corner), type the word, and press Enter. If instead you want to browse through the dictionary, click either “Dictionary” (which starts showing you the main dictionary) or one of these dictionary categories —
nouns, verbs, adjectives, interjections, gangs, geography
or “Artists” (which starts showing you the list of who’s who in the rap biz) or one of these artist categories:
groups, labels, MCs, DJs, producers
Classic books Did you ever wish you could walk into a library and find the greatest classic books, all in one place? They’re all together at Great Books Online (bartleby.com).
You get the complete text of hundreds of famous classics: the Bible, Homer, Shakespeare, many more masterpieces from many countries, plus fairy tales (by Aesop & Andersen & Grimm), science classics (written by Darwin and Einstein), reference works (Bartlett’s Quotations and the American Heritage Dictionary), and beyond. What a feast! Click one of the four tabs (“Fiction”, “Nonfiction”, “Verse”, or “Reference”) and browse!
Nearly everything your literature teacher said you “ought” to read is here. Indulge! It’s all yours, free. You don’t even need a library card, and you don’t need to “return it by next Tuesday”.
To solve a math problem, go to WolframAlpha.com. You see a wide orange search box. Click in that box, then type a math problem. If you don’t see the answer yet, press Enter.
For example, if you type—
the computer will immediately say:
If you enter instead —
the computer will solve that algebra equation and say:
x = 7
(To see that solution, scroll down.) Nearby, the computer will also show graphs about that equation.
If you enter a problem involving advanced algebra or advanced calculus, the computer will solve it, show you the exact answer using algebra & calculus symbols, calculate the answer as a decimal also, show you graphs of everything involved.
Then if you then click “Step by-step solution”, the computer will start showing you how it figured out the answer; but to see all the steps, you must create a Pro account, by paying either $6 monthly or $57 annually. The Pro account is useful: by copying those steps onto your homework paper, you can trick your teacher into believing you figured out the whole thing yourself!
Besides knowing standard high-school and college math, the computer also knows the other important numbers in life. For example, if you enter —
How old was Queen Elizabeth II when Elvis Presley was born?
the computer will look up the birthdays of those famous people, realize the queen was about 8 years old when Elvis was born, and give the exact answer:
8 years 8 months 18 days
It can also convert units: inches & meters, quarts & liters, Fahrenheit & Celsius, dollars & euros (using today’s exchange rates), and anything else you can dream of. For example, it can solve:
convert $5 to euros
It understands many topics. At the screen’s bottom (if the orange box has been empty) or when you click “Examples”, you see 30 sample topics:
mathematics, step-by-step solutions, words (& linguistics), units
(& measures), statistical (& data analysis), people (&
history), dates (& times),
chemistry, culture (& media), money (& finance), physics, art (& design), socioeconomic data, astronomy, music, health (& medicine), engineering, places (& geography), food (& nutrition), education, materials, earth sciences, life sciences, weather (& meteorology), technological world, sports (& games), computational sciences, transportation, Web (& computer systems), surprises
If you click one of those topics, you see several subtopics (in
orange). If a subtopic has “>>” next to it, click that to see
sub-subtopics. Along the way, you see lots of examples of what you can type in the orange search box, but those are just suggestions: in the orange search box, type anything you wish!. Type anything you wish in the orange search box; you’re seeing just suggestions.
That Website is starting to change how math is taught. Instead of getting bogged down in the details of algebra & calculus computations, teachers are telling students to let WolframAlpha do those details; students should concentrate instead on learning what the problems and answers mean and how to interpret them.
The world is funny, and the Internet reflects that.
Trivia For 3,000 strange but true facts about many topics, go to Useless Facts (AngelFire.com/ca6/uselessfacts). The screen’s left edge shows this list of 20 topics:
animals, bugs, celebrities, crimes, food&drink, geography, history, inventors, medical, music, myths, plants, science&technology, sports, strange laws, surveys&statistics, TV& movie words, words, world records, other
Click whichever topic you wish. Then you’ll see lots of strange trivia about that topic. Scroll down to see more. At the Web page’s bottom, click “next” to see even more.
Political humor The best movies making fun of politics are at Jibjab.com. Go there, then click “All” (at the screen’s top) then “Originals”. You’ll see a list of some political satires. Click one of them, or click “All JibJab Originals” (at the bottom) to see 3 pages more. These are the most polished:
Title Year Message
This Land 2004 2004 Presidential campaign was goofy
Big Box Mart 2005 Walmart is scary
Nuckin’ Futs! 2006 2006 was scary — fuckin’ nuts!
What We Call the News 2007 TV news is just fluff
Star Spangled Banner 2007 Presidential speeches are goofy
Time for Some Campaignin’ 2008 2008 Presidential campaign was goofy
He’s Barack Obama 2009 We want Obama to be Superman
For other political humor, go to Political Humor (politicalhumor.about.com).
Darwin awards Darwin believed in evolution, caused by “survival of the fittest”. The Darwin awards are given each year to fools who proved Darwin’s principle by accidentally killing themselves. To see how the fools killed themselves — and to be glad you’re not as stupid as they — go to DarwinAwards.com. The Website says:
The Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it.
For questions about the computer industry’s dominant company (Microsoft) and its products, go directly to Microsoft’s own Web site, Microsoft.com. Click a menu item, photo, or ad, or click the white box (at the screen’s top-right corner) then type the specific topic you’re interested in (and press Enter).
For info about Apple’s computers & products, go to Apple.com.
While you use the Internet, you’ll experience several hassles.
The computer might take a long time to switch from one page to another. Near the screen’s bottom-left corner, the computer prints messages about the switch.
How to stop
If the switch is taking a long time and you don’t want to wait for it to finish, click the Stop button, which is near the screen’s top left or center, not the top right!
Edge&Chrome The Stop button is an X that appears left of the address box.
IE The Stop button is an X at the address box’s end.
Clicking the Stop button makes the computer stop the switching.
“Switching pages” is called loading a new page. When you click the Stop button, here’s what happens:
If the computer has nearly finished loading the new page,
the computer shows you most of the new page.
If the computer has not nearly finished loading the new page,
the computer shows you the previous page.
How to try again
When you try to view a new page, the computer might get stuck because of a transmission error. To try again, stop the current transmission attempt (by clicking the Stop button) and then see what happens.
If you find yourself back at the previous page, try again to switch to the new page.
On the other hand, if you find yourself with most, but not all, of the new page on the screen, and you insist on seeing the entire new page, tell your ISP to try again to transmit the current page, by doing this:
Edge Click the Refresh button (an arrow circling up & to the right).
IE Click the Refresh button (an arrow circling to the right).
Chrome Click the Reload button (an arrow circling to the right).
Change the home page
When your computer gets IE or Chrome for the first time, here’s what happens:
Edge The home page shows news.
IE 10&11 The home page is www.msn.com, adjusted to your computer.
IE 9 The home page is the computer manufacturer’s website.
Chrome The home page shows a list of pages you’d like.
But you can change the home page. Make it be anything you want! If there’s no particular page you want to always start with, you can even make the home page be blank.
Here’s how to change the home page.
IE 10&11 If you want the home page to show a list of pages you’ve visited frequently, do this:
Click the Tools button (the bumpy-circle gear at the screen’s right edge) then “Internet options” then “Use new tab” then “OK”.
If instead you want a particular page to become the home page, do this:
Get that page onto your screen (so you can admire it). Click the Tools button (the bumpy-circle gear at the screen’s right edge) then “Internet options” then “Use current” then “OK”.
IE 9 If you want the home page to be just a blank page (and it’s not a blank page yet), do this:
Click the Tools button (the bumpy-circle gear at the screen’s right edge) then “Internet options” then “Use blank” then “OK”.
If instead you want a particular page to become the home page, do this:
Get that page onto your screen (so you can admire it). Click the Tools button (the bumpy-circle gear at the screen’s right edge) then “Internet options” then “Use current” then “OK”.
Edge & Chrome Don’t bother changing the home page; it’s already quite useful.
Whenever you view a page, the computer secretly puts a copy of it onto your hard disk, in a folder called the cache (which is pronounced “cash” and is a French word that means “hiding place”). If you try to view that page again, the computer checks whether the page’s copy is still in the cache. If it is, the computer puts that copy onto your screen, because using that copy is faster than making your ISP retransmit the page.
When the cache gets so full that no more pages fit in it, the computer discards the pages you haven’t viewed recently. Also, the computer tends to clear the cache (erase the entire cache) when you exit from the browser (by clicking its X).
Whenever you tell the computer that you want to view a page, the page will come onto your screen fast if the computer uses the page’s cached copy. If the computer can’t find the page’s cached copy (because the page was never viewed before or because the cached copy was discarded), the computer tells your ISP to transmit the page and you must wait awhile for the transmission to finish.
Problem: suppose you want to check the latest news (such as the news about a war or an election or stocks). If you view a page that shows you news, you might be reading old news, because the computer might be using an old cached copy of the page. To make sure you’re reading the latest news, click the Refresh button (which Chrome calls the “Reload button”). That forces the computer to get a new version of the page from your ISP.
Eat up your time
The Internet can eat up a lot of your time. You’ll wait a long time for your modem, your ISP, and Web sites to transmit info to you. If you try search the Web for info about a particular topic, you’ll spend lots of time visiting wrong Web sites before you finally find the site containing the gem of info you desire.
Along the way, you'll be distracted by ads and other seductive links to pages that are fun, fascinating, and educational. They don’t directly relate to the question you wanted answered, but they broaden your mind and expand your horizon, o cybercitizen and student of the world! The Internet is the ultimate serendipity: it answers questions you didn’t know you had.
Don’t trust the info you read on the Internet. Any jerk can create a Web page. The info displayed on a Web page might be misleading, dishonest, or lies.
Unlike the typical book, whose accuracy is checked by the book’s editor and publisher, the typical Web page is unchecked. An individual with unconventional ideas can easily create a Web page expressing those ideas, even if no book-publishing company would publish such a book.
Info on Web pages can be racist, hateful, sexist, libelous, treasonous, and deadly. Even though the Web page appears on your computer’s screen, the info on the Web page might not have the good-natured accuracy that computers are known for.
Freedom of speech The United States Constitution’s first amendment guarantees that Americans have freedom of speech and freedom of the press. The Internet makes that freedom possible, by letting anybody create a Web page that says anything to the whole world. The Internet is freedom unchained, uncensored. That’s wonderful but frightening.
Dictators in many countries have tried to suppress the Internet, because the Internet lets people say and speak truths from around the world and band together to protest against dictatorship. Nice people in many countries have also tried to suppress the Internet when they see how many lies are printed on the Web.
Fringe groups The Web is an easy way for “fringe groups” to advertise themselves and make their voices heard. In a dictatorship, the “fringe groups” are those who want democracy; in a democracy, the “fringe groups” are often those who want to create their own little dictatorships.
Unreliable advice Use the Web as a way to broaden your mind to different ideas, but don’t believe in them until you’ve thought about them and checked them against other sources. Some of the medical advice on the Web can kill you; some of the financial advice on the Web can bankrupt you; some of the career advice on the Web can land you in jail. About 90% of what’s written on the Web is true, but beware of the other 10%.
Who’s the source? When reading a Web page, consider its source. If the Web page is written by a person or company you trust, the info on that page is probably true. If the Web page is written by a total stranger, be cautious.
Errors If the Web page contains many spelling & grammar errors, its author might be a foreigner, an immigrant, a kid, or an idiot. Perhaps the ideas on the page are as inaccurate as the way they’re expressed. When researching a topic on the Web, don’t be surprised if one of the Web pages turns out to be just a copy of a term paper written by a kid whose teacher gave it an F because its info is all wrong.
Ads Even if a Web page is written by a reputable source, beware: it might include ads from other organizations whose motives are unsavory. When reading a traditional newspaper page printed on paper, you can usually tell which parts of the page are ads and which parts are articles, since the ads use different fonts; but when you’re reading a Web page, it’s not always clear which links are to “articles” and which links are to “ads”, since the entire Web is a vast jumble of fonts.
Parental controls Many parents are afraid to expose their young kids to wild sex, wild violence, and wild hate groups. Many Internet pages contain lots of sex, violence, and hatred, either directly or through the ads they lead you to. Many parents don’t want to expose their young kids to such Web pages. Many conservative religious people are afraid to expose themselves to such Satanic temptations.
You can get programs that censor the Internet. For example, you can get programs that stop your computer from displaying pages mentioning sexy words; but beware: a program stopping all references to “breast” will also stop you from researching “breast cancer” and “chicken breast recipes”. You can get programs that limit kids to just pages that have been reviewed and approved by wise adults; but then the kids are restricted from reading any newer, better pages that haven’t been reviewed yet.