Not a whole heck of a lot, really. Ever since I was made to go to bed at 7:30 while all the neighbourhood kids played kick-the-can, I’ve been pretty darn good at the sleep gig. Mind you, at the time I might as well have been condemned to a life of slave labour it was so traumatic. But, hindsight being 20/20 and all that, I’m sure thankful now that I was taught the value of a good night’s sleep.
There are those occasions, however, where I do lay awake at night creating a motley mess of my bed sheets. Last night was one of those nights. I’m not sure what it was that kept my eyes glued to the ceiling, but my brain just wasn’t ready to delve into that sleepy place where the unconscious takes over and fills my head with total weirdness. Maybe it was the cup o- tea at 6:30, or maybe that annoying 9:30 phone call from a drunken twerp that is making me crazy……or maybe it was spiders.
Don’t get me wrong, I am a friend to the spider. Well, at least until it becomes better entertainment for my cat than a Fancy Feast commercial. Then it just becomes a dispensable character in a real-life episode of Cat Trek.
Spiders really do have it all figured out, though. I love the idea of a break-away house that can be rebuilt in less than an afternoon with nothing more than the tools they come pre-equipped with at birth. And not only is it a cozy little abode, but it’s also a nifty little meals-on-wheels. Can’t think of anything much better than fresh, tasty morsels that will never spoil in the back of the fridge. And how about all those legs?? Imagine motoring around town on eight lofty legs? And of course, there’s that neat trick where they can flatten themselves to easily squeeze between a rock and a hard place. Ya just got respect such a clever creature.
But, in my house, cleverness won’t get you the time of day if you forget not to flinch. My cat, Rem, can spot a flinching spider from 50 paces. Now there’s some entertainment! And if he doesn’t see it before I do, I just do my “spider” voice…….Rem knows it better than my “NO” voice. One word...SPIDER!! And he’s sniffing, searching and stalking. I don’t think I’ve seen more than 6 spiders escape the jaws of death in the 6 years that Rem’s been alive.
Spiders don’t send out warning signals to other spiders either. I know we’ve all done this – kill a spider and leave the curled up little corpse as a warning to other spiders…..Danger! Do not enter! Spider will be killed on sight. Nope, they just wander right on past the glaring evidence and wade right in over their little heads. Clever yes, smart…..not so much.
As long as there are spiders and cats in my life, I will remain a happy and entertained soul.
I guess maybe all but one or two of you might be wondering about the cutesy little ballet slippers. I could say that I am a closet dancer and thought I might drop a subtle hint, or I could say it’s yet another clue to Captain’s secret, or I could tell you that I picked them up at an on-line auction hosted by the much adored, and very much missed, Claire……or maybe it’s a bit of all those things…..hmmmmm.
I will tell you this much though, even though the auction was held in Ohio, crafty Claire also had an on-line auction where she sold off cheap clones of all her cool stuff. Some people were fighting over such things as icons and graphics, others were placated by freebie handouts from fellow auction-goers just to stop the sniveling. I managed to hook a few other good deals as well. I’m not sure what to do with them, so I’ll just toss them in here to do a little show-boating.
My personal favourite: stuffed AND animated…got this one for a song - 
And just for the squidboy - 
Where do you want to go today?
Fireside
Back to pest-free days
Ahead to more on-line bargains
