Loving you so much I hurt inside
Loving you so much all I do is cry
Loving you so much I wanna hide
Loving you so much I could die
Scared, frightened can't you see
Because I've let you into me
Shared my thoughts, feelings, pride
Somehow you've managed to get inside
And now I see what I've done
My defenses are down and it's been fun
But now I'm scared, wanting to go
Because the real me I've let you know
Gonna get hurt in the end, deceived
So now I just wanna leave
Although it's the last thing I want to do
It's scary revealing myself to you
Don't wanna get hurt, frantically rebuilding my wall
This time I swear I won't let it fall
You don't understand, sitting there confused
And I am desperate not to be used
Now, content and unreachable, detached
Satisfied being so and relaxed
Floating in my bubble down the pathway of life
Slash me back into existance with a knife
I'm all by myself and away
Going through the motions each and every day
Letting no one be there for me
Feeling alive, special, and free
Now I hate myself, for this is a lie
I just wanna kill myself and die
I really don't like to be alone
It's scary being out on my own
And I'm
Missing you so much I hurt inside
Missing you so much all I do is cry
Missing you so much I wanna hide
Missing you so much I could die
Rebecca Bay
January 23, 2000