When I joined the International Wenches Guild (in 1998?),
a Lifetime membership was $35.00,
plus 3 bucks shipping and handling.
Whatevah it costs now, it’s WELL WORTH IT, and STILL only a ONE TIME fee!
Upon joining the International Wenches Guild, they send you all sorts of goodies.
The Wenches’ Handbook contains
LOADS of FANTABULOUS information:
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the Wenches’ Handbook contains WENCH SONG LYRICS.
(A Wench Walk must begin and |
The only problem with the 1998 Wench Guild Handbook’s songs is that
only TWO of them were written to tunes that are FAMILIAR (at least to ME)!
I didn’t particularly care for EITHER of those Wench Song lyrics. (And, myne sister, Mistress Kim brought up the very valid point that “Hey! Hey! We’re the Wenches!” is NOT – at all – a Renaissance-era-sounding tune.)
Sooooo, I’ve written a few “Wench Songs” of my own, and nudged at least one of the Wench Guild Handbook’s authentic song’s lyrics so that they FIT a familiar tune.
of the International Wenches Guild, I am NOT an “Official Representative” of the IWG. |
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ALTERNATIVELY, Email me and request a text-version of the Wench Songs I have collected! I’ll send you an MS Word file that includes all SEVEN of the current Wench Song Collection!
Make sure you and your fellow Wenches bring extra copies of your Wench Song Lyrics to the Faire with you. That way, ALL the Wenches (or Lasses or Ladies or LADDIES) who join your Wench Walk can also join-in the singing!
Sung to the tune of
“Greensleeves” – a.k.a.
“What Child Is This?”
What Faire is this that calls me nigh,
And tempts me out to be wenching?
That bids me dress in my silks so fine,
And lace my bodice so clenching?This, this tis a Renaissance Faire,
A world of wonder and playing!
This, this tis a Renaissance Faire,
And fabulous fun for the taking.I once did worry and work too hard,
A dreary desk did I toil from.
But now I travel both near and far,
And kick up my heels to a Renaissance drum.Come, come to the Renaissance Faire,
A world of wonder and playing!
Come, come to the Renaissance Faire,
It’s fabulous fun for the taking.What Faire is this that draws me out,
And bids me proffer my bosoms so bold?
That has me kissing both Himbo and Lout,
While daring the Laddies my hand to hold?This, this tis a Renaissance Faire,
A world of wonder and playing!
This, this tis a Renaissance Faire,
And fabulous fun for the taking.
The first time through, Wenches should sing all three verses together.
(It REALLY sounds great – and is VERY popular!!!)
this song has the added advantage of being sung as a “ROUND.”
Then divide into two or three groups o’ Wenches,
and sing all three verses as a “ROUND!”
Saucy, sultry Wenches WE!
Waltzing through the Faire!
Merry and bawdy, big and bosomy,
Laddies all beware!Kiss, kiss, kiss the Lads,
Lords and Himbos too!
Give ‘em a wubby with your bubbies –
Hope the wives don’t sue!Strut, strut, strut your stuff,
Smiling all the while!
Give ‘em an inch and give ‘em a pinch,
And hope they take a mile!
WE WILL GO! |
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Sung to the tune of “High, Ho, The Derry-Oh!,” this song has the added advantage of encouraging other Faire-goers to spontaneously create additional verses –
based upon the folkz at hand – and “passing” the verses on!!!
ADDITIONALLY, This song encourages PHYSICAL-ACTIVITY PARTICIPATION!
(Plz remember: Renaissance Faires are Family-Affairs!
So, keep ALL physical-activity participation ABOVE the waist!)
A-Wenching we will go,
A-Wenching we will go!
High, Ho and Merry-Oh!
A-Wenching we will go!The Lass kisses the Lad,
The Lass kisses the Lad!
High, Ho and Merry-Oh!
The Lass kisses the Lad!The Lad kisses the Wench,
The Lad kisses the Wench!
High, Ho and Merry-Oh!
The Lad kisses the Wench!The Wench wubbies the Lord,
The Wench wubbies the Lord!
High, Ho and Merry-Oh!
The Wench wubbies the Lord!And so on … becoming as creative as you can – on the spot!
(For example:
The Lord licks the Lady …
The Lady kisses the Knight …
The Knight favors the Bawd …
The Bawd bites the Lout …
The Bloke-in-the-Cod-Piece Buffs the Bawd …
… Just use your imagination!)
‘TIS MY FAVORITE SONG TO DATE!!! |
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JOHNNY WAS FINE
These Lyrics are those of a REAL Olde Celtic Song!
(Obtained from the Wench Guild Handbook!)
As it happens, I selected “Old MacDonald Had A Farm” as the tune to adapt the “JOHNNY WAS FINE” lyrics to. Later, I discovered that the “authentic” tune for this song is almost exactly the SAME as “Old MacDonald Had A Farm”!!! Color me tres surpriZed!!!
This song requires a little extra explanation! First, these lyrics are from an authentic song (found in the Wenches’ Handbook), the melody of which I did not know. But, by fudging them around a bit, I made them fit – sort of – to the tune of “Old MacDonald Had A Farm.”
To help you learn it, I’ll print the first verse’s lines below each of the “Old MacDonald Had A Farm” lines. (“Old MacDonald” lines are in blue print.)
You’ll see that the “With a Moo Moo here/there” lines have to be “extended” – sustaining the “Moo Moo” notes – in order to sing the corresponding “Johnny” lines.
AND, there is NO “Here a Moo, There a Moo, Everywhere a Moo, Moo” line!!!
Hopefully, the sample verse will help you figure out how to sing the song.
I’ve already used this song at one Faire.
The Wenches, Lasses, and Ladies picked right up on it –
no problemo! It was a HUGE success!
After the sample verse, I’ll print the whole song by itself.
THE SAMPLE VERSE
Old MacDonald had a farm,
Oh Johnny was fine and Johnny was fair,
Ee-Ai, Ee-Ai, Oh!
And he wanted me to wed.
And on his farm he had a cow,
And I would marry Johnny my love,
Ee-Ai, Ee-Ai, Oh!
But me Father up and Said;With a Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo here,
I’m sad to tell you daughter,
And a Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo there,
What your mother never knew,NO “Here a Moo, There a Moo, Everywhere a Moo, Moo”!!!
Old MacDonald had a farm,
But Johnny here is a son of mine
Ee-Ai, Ee-Ai, Oh!
And so is kin to you!
JOHNNY WAS FINE
Sung – sort of –
to the tune of
“Old MacDonald Had A Farm.”
Oh Johnny was fine and Johnny was fair,
And he wanted me to wed.
And I would marry Johnny my love,
But me Father up and Said;
I’m sad to tell you daughter,
What your mother never knew,
But Johnny here is a son of mine
And so is kin to you!Then next I met my Thomas fair,
And he wanted me to wed.
And I would marry Thomas my love,
But me Father up and Said;
I’m sad to tell you daughter,
What your mother never knew,
But Thomas here is a son of mine
And so is kin to you!Then next I met my William fair,
And he wanted me to wed.
And I would marry William my love,
But me Father up and Said;
I’m sad to tell you daughter,
What your mother never knew,
But William here is a son of mine
And so is kin to you!Oh never did you see a lass
So sorry as I was.
All the lads in town me kin,
And Father was the cause.
If things should keep a-goin’ this way
I’ll die a single a single miss.
So, I went to tell my mother and
Complain to her of this.Well daughter haven’t I taught you
Forgive and to forget.
You’re father sowed his oats tis true,
But doesn’t know this yet:
Your father may be father
To all the lads, but still –
He’s not the one that sired you,
So marry who you will!
the Lincoln Irish Dancers (Laura – at right) sings the real-and-true version of “Johnny Was Fine.”
(That’s how I learned that |
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Laura also offered a great suggestion:
ANY man’s name can be used in place of “Johnny” and “Thomas” and “William.”
Soooo, pick three LIVE Laddies (Louts or Himbos) from the crowd and use
THEIR names to perform the song!!!
Additionally, you can use them as “props” during their verse!
(Again, PLZ Remember! Renaissance Faires are Family-Affairs.
Keep your prop-usage above the waist!!!)
WRITE YOUR OWN WENCH LYRICS!
Anyone can do this, you know. It just takes some time and Wenchly imagination.
Once you’ve written your own lyrics (to universally familiar tunes),
PLZ EMAIL THEM TO ME!
c-d-miller@neb.rr.com
