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MISTRESS CHAS’ |
All of the TIPS on this page have been borrowed (ok, “stolen”) from a fantabulous website:
RENFAIRE dot com!
[Gramercy, Master Pecksniff Wallydrag!]
At the Renfaire.com link above, you’ll find more in-depth info about
Pronunciation
Pronunciation Drills
Vocabulary
Grammar
Forms of Address
Insults and Cursing
Songs of the Times
After perusing this page, you can print a two-page version of most of the stuff here by getting the Ren Language & Swearing Guide PDF! If you print page 2 on the back of page 1, you can fold it into a little booklet.
Make sure you and your fellow Wenches (Rouges, Ladies, Lords, Hussies, Himbos, etc...) bring extra copies of the Language & Swearing Guide to the Faire with you. That way, all the Wenches (Rouges, etc...) you meet can also join-in the SWEARING and CHIT CHAT!
Learning to speak passable faire “Elizabethan” lingo is easy. It simply requires some memorization of common vocabulary and some pronunciation practice. The problem I had when first working at faire was that I felt very self-conscious about my accent.
To the mundane-virgin-faire-goer / person-off-the-street, nearly ANY attempt to sound “authentic” will be music to their ears! The Faire Workers who, through months or years of practice, have gotten good at speaking Ren-Lingo, aren't going to make fun of you either – we all know it takes work and faire is the best place to practice! (Start ranting about “Aye Sir! And beneath my feet the earth did tilt, tossing my ale hither!” after spilling your drink in a bar and you'll be lucky if you're only asked to leave!)
More advice: SPEAK SLOWLY!!!
Take some time and think about what you're going to say. Scratch your head, look around, (consider your options) and then – finally – ANSWER.
Practice with friends before you go to the Faire … Practice in the car, on your way to the faire … Practice once you’re AT the Faire. You're learning a new language and you won't be perfect overnight. But – NO MATTAH WHAT – USE whatever you’ve learned, and make-up stuff that seems right, as often as possible!
Start by becoming accustomed to how the sounds of “Elizabethan” differ from modern English. Then work on memorizing words that sound particularly FUN to YOU. And, THEN learn the terms of address for the different people you might meet.
Finally, load yourself up with insults and words of praise, smear your face with dung and try to find a date!
Sir or Mistress is always a safe bet for someone who is not nobility, but who is well dressed.
Someone of a “Wench’s” social standing or slightly above could be called Goodman, Goodwife; or by their name (Master Patrick) or by their profession (Mistress Brewer).
A “familiar” tone may be taken by calling someone Cousin.
An older man or woman of equal or indeterminate “rank” might be addressed as Father … or Mother.
To children, My Lad/Lass, or Good Young Sir … Good Young Mistress is appropriate; perhaps erring on the side of safety with My Young Lord/Lady if they are well-dressed.
To Nobility, My Lord, or My Lady is always safe if you don't know their exact name or title.
The Queen (or King) is of course referred to as Your Highness or Your Grace.
In the third person, the Queen can be referred to as, Her Majesty (the King as, His Majesty) – but this is NOT appropriate for addressing the Queen or King directly.
Dukes, Duchesses (etcetera) can be likewise be addressed as Your Grace.
Never use one word where two will do!
Add "right", "well", and "most" to your speech:
Hello! is not actually a period greeting but an exclamation of surprise.
As a greeting, instead say:
An it please you, By your leave, An thou wilt, An you will …
By your leave.
(However, NOT "I am certes that I paid that account.")
You could swear using the simple word, fie! (“f-eye”). Or, you could swear by God's teeth! or wounds (Z'wounds!).
As a tradesman, you might swear by your hammer or tongs, or any other object of untarnished purity.
(By my Silver Needle, thou art a vain and knotty-pated hedge-pig!)
The following “Simple Guide to Ren Swearing” is not only FUN,
it doesn't make parents with children glare at you for using “foul” language!
Here’s how to use the guide:
First, say the word,
“THOU”.
And, then say ONE WORD from the RED ROW,
and then say ONE WORD from the BLUE ROW,
and then say ONE WORD from the GREEN ROW,
WITH VIGOR!
You do NOT have to follow across the rows! Hunt and peck – Mix it up!
Just remember to FIRST say the word,
“THOU”
bawdy beslubbering bootless churlish clouted cockered craven dankish dissembling droning errant fawning fobbing frothy froward gleeking goatish gorbellied impertinent infectious jarring loggerheaded lumpish mammering mangled mewling paunchy pribbling puking puny quailing rank reeky roguish ruttish saucy spleeny spongy surly tottering unmuzzled vain venomed villainous warped weedy yeasty |
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * |
bat-fowling beef-witted beetle-headed boil-brained clapper-clawed clay-brained common-kissing dismal-dreaming dizzy-eyed doghearted dread-bolted earth-vexing elf-skinned fat-kidneyed fen-sucked flap-mouthed fly-bitten folly-fallen fool-born full-gorged guts-griping half-faced hasty-witted hedge-born hell-hated idle-headed ill-breeding ill-nurtured knotty-pated milk-livered motley-minded onion-eyed plume-plucked pottle-deep pox-marked reeling-ripe rough-hewn rump-fed shard-borne sheep-biting spur-galled swag-bellied tardy-gaited tickle-brained toad-spotted urchin-snouted weather-bitten |
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * |
barnacle bladder boar-pig bugbear bum-bailey canker-blossom clotpole codpiece coxcomb death-token dewberry flap-dragon flax-wench flirt-gill foot-licker fustilarian giglet gudgeon haggard harpy hedge-pig horn-beast hugger-mugger jolthead lewdster lout maggot-pie malt-worm mammet measle minnow miscreant moldwarp mumble-news nut-hook pigeon-egg pignut pumpion puttock ratsbane scut skainsmate strumpet varlet vassal wagtail whey-face |
Although it’s terrific FUN to use the above table o’ Ren-Swear-Suggestions, it’s even MORE FUN to make them up on the SPOT – developing appropriately ribald labels for whomever you’re confronted with! The table will help you get a “feel” for the method behind this Ren-Madness. Then, you can simply have at them!
c-d-miller@neb.rr.com
