Orc Highway proves obstacle for n00b Frogloks
By Unknown_Journalist01
The Norrath Daily Rag
Gypsy Camp, OASIS OF MARR – For the fifth consecutive day, young Frogloks attempting to cross the Orc Highway here have fallen prey to careless speeding orcs.
"They don't heed our warnings," Senior Guide Fendaien the Fiendish of the Solusek Ro realm said Saturday. "We put up all of the proper signage."
"I guess we shouldn't be so surprised," he added. "After all, it took years for young Iksar to realize that getting too close to Kaladim was a good way to get their tail cut off by a Dwarven axe."
But the sheer number of Froglok casualties this past week has Norrathian officials alarmed. A joint legislative session of the gods, their servants and Froglokian leaders was held Friday in Felwithe.
"Crrroooaaakkk," said one concerned Froglok parent, whose 2-day-old son, Gaaanjji, was killed by a stampede of raging orc priests on Wednesday afternoon.
Sir Hiaat Dujai, the Froglok secretary of health, said the instinctual nature of young frogs could in part be to blame for the rash of highway slayings.
"Ribbbittt," he said, adding:
"Crooaaak. It's only second nature for Frogloks, as they come of age, to desire to cross busy roadways on foot, trying to avoid traffic, and take small drifting rafts to get across little streams."
Dujai believes the gods are to blame for this, though he stopped short of specifically naming creator Mithaniel Marr for any racial shortcomings.
Mithaniel Marr was unavailable for comment Friday.
M. Marr
The cause of Froglok agony?
His sister, Erollisi was quick to deny her brother's involvement in a plot to cause harm to Frogloks.
"My brother would rather die than to see these loveable creatures slaughtered brutally by the hands of ravenous beasts," she said in a prepared statement.
In an ironic turn of events, it came to light late Friday that Lord Marr had, in fact, died.
Early reports from an anonymous source close to Mithaniel Marr indicate a band of warriors and sorcerers from the realm of Xev entered the Temple of Marr early Friday. They fought their way to the deity and clashed with him in his chambers.
The Tribunal has issued arrest warrants for the alleged perpetrators.
Still, his sister claims his innocence.
"My brother had nothing to do with this," she wrote. "I suggest you look no further than Solusek Ro for causing this plight."
From Solusek's tower, a spokesman admitted that the god had done some investigating into seeding young Froglok's thoughts with acts of mischief as part of a prolonged friendly rivalry between Ro and Marr. But the spokesman denied Solusek Ro had anything to do with the highway deaths.
S. Ro
Tinkering with the green ones?
Even as servants of the gods installed "Frog X-ing" signs alerting orcish traffic to the Frogloks on Friday, the problem didn't appear to be coming to an end.
Just before 8 p.m. Friday, at least two dozen young Frogloks could be seen jumping in and out of orc caravans cruising down the roadway.
A tearful Ashlanne Barefoot pleaded with the frogs to stop trying to cross the road.
"Can't you see? There's no justifiable reason for you to do this!" the Halfling shouted, in a rare moment of emotional unsettlement.
An elf ranger watching the commotion mentioned the orcs could be persuaded to be more mindful of the leaping frogs if their pathing was changed.
Calls seeking comment were not returned by Norrathian planning experts. A secretary at their San Diego office in the Earthen realm said the team was having a group morale meeting.
Developers were playing the video game "Frogger," she said.
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