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The Classic Quote Page

Welcome to the one, the only, Classic Quote Page. This is the quote page like no other. On here you will find the quotes that are the funniest, stupidest, most outrageous things that people have said. Okay, actually the regular quote page was getting too long so we needed an excuse to make a new one...
Anywayz....for your own safety, please keep all appendages on the keyboard. Abnormal amounts of laughter should not be held accountable against the webmaster or her moronic little friends. And always remember, please don't sue us.

And now for your quoting pleasure....the top 20 funniest quotes of all time.

Number 20 - "General Admissions"

"The key to general admissions is to keep running....and don't stop or else the security guard will get you..." ~Anthony Beringer expressing his insight on general admission.

Number 19 - "Herpies"

"You could get herpies if you wear bowling shoes without socks." ~Paul, looking out for everyone's safety.

Number 18 - "The Condom Quote"

"Hey, they sell condoms here..." ~Lorraine, checking out the Trojans™ at the brand spankin' new Ampride™ in Bellwood.
"Wow...they're lubricated..." ~Michala, checkin out the spiffy condoms.
"Lorraine, find whatever you want and hurry up....they're not just going to let me buy my cup of ice!" ~Crissie, getting impatient with Lorraine.
*picks up condoms* "Hey, Crissie look..." ~Lorraine, showing Crissie her new find.
"Yeah okay, grab some. Let's go!" ~Crissie telling Lorraine to hurry up.

Number 17 - "The Lunch Ladies"

"Jesse Roubal just got hugged by a lunch lady. It's not everyday you get a hug from a lunch lady. But then again, why would anyone want a hug from a lunch lady?" ~Liz, commenting about our lunch ladies.

Number 16 - Bear's Love for his Mom

"You're cutting out, bye!" ~Bear on the cell phone with his mom.

Number 15 - "The Two Dogs Quote"

"Two Dogs: the official beverage of National Honor Society." ~Anthony & Deanna, president & vice president of NHS, declaring the official beverage.

Number 14 - "Lee and the Nubbies"

"Good god! Look at your thumb nail... man, it'd take me an hour to chew that off." ~Lee in Government, jealous of and wanting to eat Deanna's fingernails.

*grabs Deanna's hand* "God...all of your nails are long! Look at my nails! I chew them until their nubbies and then I chew them some more!" ~Lee, still ranting and raving about Deanna's fingernails.

Number 13 - "Frank's Report on the Brown People Minority Rate"

"Did you realize that half our AP Biology class is brown and half of it is white?" ~Frank in the library, talkin smack.

Number 12 - "The True Beauty of the Scoop"

"If we lost pages 1 through 5 of the Scoop...there'd be no Scoop. That's the beauty of it." ~Bear, letting us know the beauty of the Scoop.

Number 11 - "Deanna & Katie being Morons"

"It gets funnier the more you think about it!" ~Katie and Deanna, laughing about something.

Number 10 - "The Salsa Incident"

"Yeah and Little Bear was mad cuz she had a tomato in her hair." ~Bear at the football game, letting us know about what happened with his genius idea of throwing a plate of salsa out of his car.

Number 9 - "Mr. Carmichael and his obsession with the Library"

"Yeah, did you ever notice that Mr. Carmichael goes down and closes the library!? He can't do that. He just goes in, sits down, puts up his sign and closes the library! That can't be legal!" ~Deanna, concerned about Mr. Carmichael closing the library.

Number 8 - "The Box Elder Bug Experiment"

"No matter how hungry they get, box elder bugs will not eat each other," ~Tyler, informing us on his latest research developments in the Box Elder Bug experiment.

Number 7 - "The Mysterious People on the Scoop Labels"

"Some of these people I've never heard of. Like who's this Angie Torres?" ~Sarah S. in Scoop, commenting on the mailing labels.
"THAT'S MY MOM!" ~Lorraine, letting Sarah S. know the mysterious people on the mailing labels.

Number 6 - "Bear's Kind Tolerance with the Little Kiddies"

"No hoarding of food. You take it, you eat it, or we shove it down your pants." ~Bear's rule about food with the little kids.

Number 5 - "What Mrs. Sander really thinks about Physics"

"That's retarded." ~Mrs. Sander, upset with a Physics problem.

Number 4 - "The Punctuation Checker"

"She only checks the PUNCTUATION!" ~Lorraine, defending her fellow Scoopster Deanna from the evil sayings of Winky.

Number 3 - "The Weinder Dog Sprinkler"

"Look at that doggie!" ~ Lorraine, pointing out a "doggie."
"That's a sprinkler." ~ Katie, noticing that the dog is not really a dog.
"Well, it looked like a little weiner dog from far away." ~ Lorraine
"Yeah, a yellow one with white wheels..." ~ Katie, commenting on the "weiner dog sprinkler."

Number 2 - "Nate and that 'stuff' "

"Hey...let's ask Deanna...she's smart...okay you know that stuff...." ~Nate on the speech bus one day.
"Construction paper!" ~Shane's light bulb turning on
"YES! Alright, nevermind Deanna. We figured it out." ~Nate....just being Nate.

And the #1 Quote...
"That's going on the quote page..." ~The quote that started it all...