(A few weeks later. In Aphrodite’s lair)
APHRODITE- I can’t believe you haven’t found her yet!!
EROS- We are trying as hard as we can, Mommy. You must remember, we’ve narrowed it down to two towns.
APHRODITE- Where?
EROS- Well, there’s the town we launched our attack in, Brentwood. There is also a town in the next county over called Spirit Falls. There was a lot of unusual energy in the vicinity of that town in the twenty-four hours before we attacked.
APHRODITE- Let’s check out Spirit Falls.
(Meanwhile, High Street High School is having it’s lunch period. Tabby, Chad, and their friends are sitting together)
MIRANDA- Has anyone talked to Eliott lately?
MARY- Why do you want to know, Miranda?
MIRANDA- No reason. I...just want to see how that loser is doing in Pleasanton. That’s it.
MARY- Sure.
(Miranda gives Mary a dirty look)
CHERRY- He’s fine. I talked to him a couple of days ago. He wanted me to say, “Hi” to everyone. Even Miranda.
(Tabby’s medalion beeps)
TABBY- Um, I have to go do something. Yeah.
CHAD- I’ll go with you.
TABBY- No! You can’t!
CHAD- But...why?
TABBY- You just can’t okay!
(Tabby leaves)
CHAD- Has anyone noticed a change in Tabby lately?
MIRANDA- She doesn’t seem to have time for us anymore.
CHAD- I wonder what she’s up to.
(Tabby has walked to a spot where no one else is. She answers the medalion)
TABBY- Yeah?
MILO- Tabitha, my water dish is empty.
TABBY- Is that all?
MILO- Well, living things need water.
TABBY- I know. Just how stupid do you think I am?
MILO- Very.
TABBY- You’re only supposed to contact me for emergencies, not whenever you’ve created a new insult.
MILO- But...
TABBY- No buts! I’ve given up my week-ends and after school for this hero crap! I’ve given up my life! And I don’t need your insults!
(she hangs up and turns the beeper off)
TABBY- Good riddance!
(she goes back to her friends)
CHAD- What was all that about?
TABBY- Nothing.
CHAD- You seem to be doing a lot of nothing lately.
TABBY- Yes, I have. You’re right. How ‘bout that, Chad?
CHERRY- (nervously butts in) Um, so, uh, Eliott is fine. You know, his guinea pig did the CUTEST thing the other day...
(after school)
CHAD- Tabby? I’m sorry I got upset. I just...miss having you around, that’s all.
TABBY- Chad, I know I haven’t been fair to you all lately. You’re my friends, and you’re concerned about me. I understand.
CHAD- So...you wanna do something on Saturday?
TABBY- Of course! I’d love to! (Remembers her training)
TABBY- But I can’t.
CHAD- Dammit, Tabby! What are you doing that I can’t know about?!? We’ve always told each other everything, remember?!?
TABBY- Chad, I-
CHAD- I guess it didn’t mean anything to you, huh Tabby?!?
(he walks off and leaves Tabby at her locker)
(Tabby walks slowly home. She stops at the swings of a nearby Elementary School.)
TABBY- I don’t want the world in my hands! I don’t want this “gift”!
(It starts to rain. Tabby sits on a swing)
TABBY- I want to be a little girl again.
(She starts to cry)
(Socrates flies down)
SOCRATES- Tabby?
TABBY- Yeah, Socrates?
SOCRATES- I just wanted to-hey, are you crying?
TABBY- Nope. That’s just the rain.
SOCRATES- Are you sure you’re okay?
TABBY- Yeah. I’m fine.
SOCRATES- Okay. I just wanted to tell you that Artemis wants to talk to you.
TABBY- Okay. I’ll be right there.
<(Socrates flies away)(Tabby sighs and pushes a little button on her medalion-gizzmo-thingy. She is transported to the Great Caves)
(Aphrodite is talking to Hathor)
APHRODITE- You know, once we locate the Lunarian, we may need a spy.
HATHOR- An excellent idea. But who will we use?
APHRODITE- I’ve been following this boy, Eliott. There’s something about him that makes me think his mind could be easily manipulated.
HATHOR- Oh?
APHRODITE- Open a portal. Bring him to me.
(Hathor leaves. She goes to the portal room. She opens a portal, which looks like a wall of red glitter. In steps a boy [Eliott]. The guards grab him)
ELIOTT- Hey! What are you doing to me?!? Help! Help!
HATHOR- Guards! Silence him!
(They hit him over the head with a club and bring him to Aphrodite)
APHRODITE- You have done well. Go now.
(Hathor and guards leave)
APHRODITE- And, as for you, my pet...
(she hypnotizes him)
APHRODITE- Good. You are now in my service.
(Eros comes running in)
EROS- Mommy! Mommy! We’ve found her!!
APHRODITE- You’ve found the Lunarian?!?
EROS- Yes!!
APHRODITE- Well, who is she, Eros?!?
EROS- Her name is Tabitha Trapp. She lives in Spirit Falls. The strange energy took place at her house, outside her bedroom window.
APHRODITE- Great! How did you find out?
EROS- I looked it up in the phone book.
(Eliott hasn’t entirely become Aphrodite’s slave yet)
ELIOTT- Tabby?
APHRODITE- You know her?
ELIOTT- She’s a friend. Leave her alone. Please, whoever you are.
APHRODITE- (laughs) Eliott its not like you have a choice here.
(Eliott lapses into a complete hypnotic state)
(In the Great Caves. Tabby is talking to Artemis)
TABBY- Artemis?
ARTEMIS- Yes, Tabby?
TABBY- About all this training...
ARTEMIS- Oh, yes. The training. I’m glad you reminded me, Tabby. I know we’ve been putting a lot of pressure on you...
TABBY- Yeah.
ARTEMIS- I think I’m going to have to change your schedule.
TABBY- You read my mind.
ARTEMIS- Oh, good. So you’d be willing to come during lunch, too?
TABBY- What?!? Give up my lunch break, too?!? Are you mental?!? I’ve been working too hard!!! I want Saturday off!!
ARTEMIS- Tabby! You are not yet ready!! If Aphrodite attacked..
TABBY- We haven’t heard from Aphrodite in weeks! She might have packed up and gone on home! Ever thought of that?!?
ARTEMIS- The oracle at Delphi never lies!
TABBY- I can have a day off!! My friends-they all hate me!!! Especially Chad!!
ARTEMIS- (softly, understandingly) Oh, Is that it? Tabby, no one hates you.
TABBY- (crying) Yes they do!
ARTEMIS- Oh, Tabby. If it means this much to you, you can skip training Saturday.
TABBY- (hugs Artemis) Thank you.
(Apollo comes in and sees Artemis and Tabby)
APOLLO- Uh...is this a good time? I could come back later...Artemis?
ARTEMIS- What, Apollo?
APOLLO- So...this is the chosen one. Tabitha Trapp, I presume?
TABBY- Hi.
APOLLO- (sarcastic) Great choice, sis. (whispers) An abnormally short crybaby. I sure trust your judgment.
ARTEMIS- Apollo...(angrily) it was your oracle that told me to choose her.
APOLLO- Well, I haven’t been able to find MY chosen one yet.
TABBY- What?
APOLLO- The one worthy of accepting the APOLLO GEM.
TABBY- What?
ARTEMIS- Oh, Tabby. It slipped my mind. You’ll have a sidekick.
APOLLO- Not a sidekick. A partner.
ARTEMIS- Sure. Whatever. But until we find him or her, you have to be able to handle twice as much. Anything Aphrodite might throw at you.
APOLLO- We’ll have to find him-
ARTEMIS- Or her-
APOLLO- (to his sister) Do you mind? Well anyway, soon. Oi-ya and I are getting impatient.
TABBY- Who’s-
ARTEMIS- Well, you can go home now, Tabby.
TABBY- O-kay. I’ll go now. Bye.
(Tabby transports herself to her room. She calls Chad.)
CHAD- Hello?
TABBY- Hi Chad. Its Tabby.
CHAD- What do you want?!?
TABBY- I canceled my plans for Saturday.
CHAD- You did?
TABBY- Yeah, So, do you want to go to the comic store? We could have lunch in the park, or something-
CHAD- Sure!
(Now, Tabby decides to tell Chad about her powers on Saturday.)
TABBY- Chad, on Saturday. I’ll tell you what I’ve been up to. I don’t think its right to keep it from you anymore. Like you said, we used to tell each other everything.
CHAD- Thanks, Tabby. I have to go. See you at school tomorrow.
TABBY- ‘Bye.
(Its lunch on Friday now. Cherry seems unusually happy...)
CHERRY- Welcome to the Happy Valley of Soft, Fuzzy Pink Things That Are Nice!!!
MARY- What are you so happy about?
CHERRY- Nothing. (to herself) Hee hee hee!!!
MIRANDA- She’s scaring me. Someone slap her.
AMI- Yes. I share your fear.
TABBY- (she has cupcakes) Ah, the noble cupcake. Has there ever been a nobler food?
CHAD- No, there hasn’t.
(Their friend Kay comes walking up.)
MIRANDA- Hey, Kay.
KAY- Hey. Guess what?
MIRANDA- What?
KAY- Eliott’s back.
MIRANDA- Kay, that is one sick sense of humor you have! I have half a mind to banish you from “The Group” forever!
KAY- But...never mind. (she sits down.)
(They eat and talk for a while. Eliott comes and causually sits down.)
ELIOTT- Hello.
CHERRY- Hi, Eliott.
(everyone looks up)
MIRANDA- (jaw dropped) Eliott! You-you’re back! You were there, but here now! Wherefore- how’d you-how’d you do-You’re not supposed to be here!!!
CHAD- Eliott! I knew you wouldn’t make me be the only guy in the group forever!
TABBY- O-kay. Ha Ha. Veeery funny, Cherry. Everyone, Cherry is trying to put one over on us. (She walks over to Eliott) This isn’t Eliott!! Its...a mask!!!
(she pulls on his face)
ELIOTT- Ow! Tabby, quit it!!!
TABBY- Ohmygod!! Eliott is that really you?
ELIOTT- Yes! What is so hard to believe about it? So I’ve been gone for 50 bajillion years. Its me.
MARY- Oh, my God...
CHAD- That reminds me. We’re still on for tomorrow, aren’t we, Tabby?
TABBY- Yeah.
ELIOTT- What? Where are you going? (Eliott has sinister look on his face)
TABBY- We’re going to the park.
ELIOTT- Really. Interesting...
(Its now right after school. Eliott is talking into a little communicator-thingy)
ELIOTT- Aphrodite! Its Eliott. Tabby will be in the park tomorrow about noonish.
APHRODITE- Excellent! By this time tomorrow, The Lunarian will be no more!
(Eliott and Aphrodite turn off their communicators. Eliott paused and shakes his head, as if waking from a dream.)
ELIOTT- Oh! What have I done???
(But he quickly lapse back into Aphrodite’s control. He goes to find Chad and Tabby.)
(When Eliott finds Tabby, she has just completed her daily afternoon journey to the floor. She is on the ground looking for her glasses.)
ELIOTT- Still the same old Tabby.
(she finds her glasses and puts them on.)
TABBY- Oh. Hi, Eliott. Sorry about your face.
ELIOTT- (touches his face) It’ll heal.
TABBY- I didn’t realize my nails were so sharp.
ELIOTT- No, really. I’m fine.
TABBY- Good. (uncomfortable silence) Well...so..you like...uh...stuff?
ELIOTT- Yeah. You...too, huh?
TABBY- Yes. We do lots of...stuff.
ELIOTT- And I bet its good stuff, too.
TABBY- Yup. Stuff stuff stuff. Its all I do.
(Eliott looks around)
ELIOTT- Is Chad always this late?
TABBY- Yeah. He is.
ELIOTT- Same old Chad.
(Much later)
CHAD- Sorry I’m late.
TABBY- No problem. I guess Eliott, are you walking with us?
ELIOTT- Sure..unless you want to be alone together or something.
CHAD- We’re fine. You can come with us.
(Tabby and Chad blush)
TABBY- So, lets get going.
(The next scenes show the threesome walking home. They get to Eliott’s house.)
ELIOTT- Well, bye!
TABBY + CHAD- Bye.
ELIOTT- Oh...(in pain) my head...
(Chad keeps walking. Tabby stops and expresses “concern” for Eliott.)
TABBY- Are you OK?
ELIOTT- (Grabs Tabby’s shoulders) Tabby...be careful! Please!
TABBY- What??? Eliott you’re not making sense!
ELIOTT- Please!!! (He returns to his original state)
TABBY- Are you OK?!? Eliott?!?
ELIOTT- I just need an aspirin. Go on.
TABBY- O-kay. See ‘ya.
(She returns to Chad)
(Its now Saturday. Tabby and Chad are in the local taco place, the TACO BARN.)
TABBY- What kind of a name is TACO BARN?!?
CHAD- It could be worse.
TABBY- How?
CHAD- I don’t know.
(silence)
TABBY- I can’t believe Eliott moved back.
CHAD- Yeah.
TABBY + CHAD- Poor Miranda. (They laugh)
CHAD- So, what did you just have to tell me?
TABBY- Well, Chad, I- (screams come from park)
CHAD- What’s that???
TABBY- C’mon. Lets go!
(They run to park. But when they get there, nothing is there.)
TABBY- What the- (an arrow lands at her feet) Cripes! Who’s doing that?
CHAD- (points) Tabby! Look! Its that freak from the MONKEY GIRL festival!!
TABBY- Cripes!! Chad, get behind that bench!!!
CHAD- But-
TABBY- Now!!! (Chad obeys)
(Tabby rips ARTEMIS MEDALION off her neck and throws it) (Chad watches, wide-eyed)
TABBY- ARTEMIS MEDALION!!!! (In a flash of white, Tabby is transformed to the Lunarian)
TABBY- I am the Lunarian!-I think. Thats my name, right???
HATHOR- Yes, I believe it is. Get her!!!
CHAD- (watching) Tabby???
(they fight for a while. Then Hathor gets an idea)
HATHOR- Forget about her. Grab the boy!!
TABBY- (thinking) I have to get Chad somewhere safe! But the only place is- (she runs over to Chad)
TABBY- Chad! Grab my arm!
CHAD- Oh-okay. (scared)
TABBY- To the Great Caves!!!
(Tabby and Chad are in the Great Caves. Chad is terrified)
CHAD- Tabby??? Did that just happen???
TABBY- I was going to tell you. I tried to tell you. But then, Hathor was...I’m sorry you had to go through that. But don’t worry. You’re safe here.
CHAD- Where are we???
TABBY- The Great Caves. Look out the entrance.
CHAD- (looks out) We’re in the middle of the desert!!
TABBY- Yeah. I know. C’mon. I have to take you to Artemis.
CHAD- Artemis??? The greek goddess???
TABBY- Yeah. She’s in charge.
(they walk down through the maze of tunnels)
CHAD- So you’re a super hero? Like MONKEY GIRL?
TABBY- Yup. They call me the Lunarian.
CHAD- How long...?
TABBY- The night before the MONKEY GIRL festival.
CHAD- Why didn’t you tell me?
TABBY- Artemis wouldn’t let me. I’m sorry. You have no idea how much I’ve wanted to tell you. (they come to a door.) Well, this is the door to Artemis’ chamber.
CHAD- Tabby, I’m scared.
TABBY- Don’t be.
(Tabby opens the door and walks in. Apollo and Artemis are seated at a table, involved in a challenging game of dominoes.)
TABBY- Artemis?
ARTEMIS- Tabby! I thought you were taking today off! (she doesn’t turn around)
TABBY- I was, but Hathor attacked us in the park.
ARTEMIS- (turns around) Tabby??? What do you mean, “us”?? Oh!! (sees Chad) Chad, I presume???
CHAD- Yes. I mean, yes ma’am. I mean, yes ma’am, I am he. (nervously)
TABBY- Chad?
CHAD- Yes, Tabby???
TABBY- Stop talking, Chad.
CHAD- Okay.
ARTEMIS- Apollo!! Come here!! (she stares at Chad)
APOLLO- Just a minute. Something incoming from Delphi!!
(Artemis grabs Chad’s chin. She looks at his face)
CHAD- Tabby??? (whispering) Whats she doing???
TABBY- I-I don’t know!
ARTEMIS- (whispers) Hmmm, strange. He has the mark.
CHAD- It-it might j-just be t-taco s-sauce!
APOLLO- (runs in) Artemis!! Our chosen one is in close proximity!
ARTEMIS- Come look at this!!
(Apollo runs over and grabs Chad’s face)
CHAD- Ow!! Would everyone quit doing that?!?
APOLLO- Its him.
TABBY- Who’s who???
APOLLO- (grabs Chad’s arm) Chad, come with me.
CHAD- Tabby! Help!!
TABBY- I’m coming with you.
ARTEMIS- No, Tabby. You have to stay here.
TABBY- But-
ARTEMIS- Chad is safe. Now, sit down.
TABBY- Why?
ARTEMIS- We’re playing a challenging game of dominoes.
(much later. Apollo and Chad emerge from the room they were in. Chad is holding a rock and a goldfish in a plastic bag)
TABBY- Chad!
CHAD- Hi, Tabby. I’m your new partner/sidekick.
TABBY- I’m so glad I don’t have to hide this from you anymore.
CHAD- I gots a fish!! Her name is Oi-ya!!
APOLLO- She’s telepathic. She’s Chad’s guardian.
TABBY- A telepathic goldfish???
APOLLO- Yes-a telepathic goldfish.
OI-YA- Hello.
TABBY- Oi-ya? Is that you??
OI-YA- Yes, Tabby.
TABBY- Oh. Hi, Oi-ya.
CHAD- I have to get Oi-ya out of this plastic bag and into a fishbowl.
TABBY- We’ll go to the Pet store.
ARTEMIS- And we’ll see both of you tomorrow for training right?
TABBY- Yeah. Let’s go, Chad.
(they transport to the pet store)
(they walk into the store)
GUY- How can I help you kids?
CHAD- We caught this fish in the Creek. We want a fish bowl and some gravel. And aquatic plant life.
TABBY- And a little fishie castle for her to sleep in.
CHAD- And some food.
TABBY- And a leash, so we can walk her.
GUY- What???
CHAD- Forgive my friend. She’s incompetent. (Tabby hits him)
CHAD- Ow!!
GUY- O-kay. The fish stuff is in the back.
TABBY- Thanks.
(They pick out some colorful gravel, some fake plants, a little fishie castle, and a nice, big bowl)
CHAD- (to Oi-ya) What kind of food do you want?
OI-YA- I can’t eat normal fish food. Apollo should have given you some special Ambrosia flakes, or something.
TABBY- (rolls eyes) And do you just swim in normal water.
OI-YA- Yes, I swim in normal water. But it has to be detoxified first.
CHAD- Detoxified???
TABBY- What the-??
OI-YA- You have to put a chemical in the water. There-that stuff in the orange bottle.
TABBY- Oh! I know what you mean! Miranda puts that stuff in her turtle tank. It takes the potentially poisonous chemicals out of the water.
CHAD- Okay. (thinks) Tabby, Miranda would be better at this than us, wouldn’t she???
TABBY- Probably.
CHAD- Should we get her help?
TABBY- I dunno. what do you think??
OI-YA- I would prefer to have someone who knows what they’re doing.
CHAD- Okay. We’ll buy this stuff and call Miranda from my house.
(they buy stuff and go to Chad’s house)
(Miranda comes to Chad’s door)
(Chad opens door)
MIRANDA- Okay! Where’s the tank?!? (she barges in)
CHAD- (still at door) Hello, Miranda. How are you? I’m fine, thanks. Would you like to come in? Okay. Right this way.
(When Chad gets to his room, Tabby and Miranda are already there.)
MIRANDA- Here, Chad. Wash this gravel.
(after about an hour, Miranda leaves and the aquarium is set up.)
OI-YA- Who was that horribly annoying girl?
TABBY- Our friend, Miranda.
OI-YA- I don’t like her.
CHAD- Well, you don’t have to! (he turns red) Listen, you wretched fish! I just blew half my savings on stuff for you! I don’t want you screwing up my life!
TABBY- Chad, its not that big a deal. And besides, Oi-ya is your guardian. She is technically in charge of you.
(Chad grumbles)
CHAD- Well, shall we continue on to the park?
TABBY- Yeah.
(they go back to park)
(Tabby and Chad play on swings. Chad jumps off and lands at Hathor’s feet)
HATHOR- Aw, its so cute to see you two together. How tragic that it won’t last!!
TABBY- Chad! Now! (They transform in the usual way)
HATHOR- What!! There are two of them now!
CHAD- You bet! I am...I don’t know!
TABBY- (sighs) You are so lame.
HATHOR- I’m not getting paid enough for this.
(they fight the cupids. But chad isn’t using his weapon correctly)
CUPID #1- We can’t take much more of this, Hathor!
CUPID #2- Them swords is pointy!!
HATHOR- Okay. Give the signal to retreat.
(they retreat)
CHAD- Wow. Did we win?
TABBY- I think so.
(they do something odd to celebrate their victory. I don’t know what)
(now, again with Aphrodite)
APHRODITE- You lost again?!?!?
HATHOR- Yes, we did (angrily). There were two of them.
APHRODITE- Two??
HATHOR- Yes. The other one was male; possibly mentally challenged.
APHRODITE- Where does Artemis keep coming up with these ugly, stupid children? (she laughs) I’ll ask Eliott.
(Aphrodite does something, and Eliott’s face appears in the Crystal Ball)
APHRODITE- Eliott?
ELIOTT- Yeah?
APHRODITE- At the battle, there was a potentially stupid boy helping the Lunarian. Do you have any ideas as to what his secret identity is?
ELIOTT- It could be Chad Twilliger. He’s not the brightest bulb on the tree. At least he doesn’t act like it. He’s Tabby’s best friend.
APHRODITE- Thank you, Eliott. You are dismissed.
(Eliott’s face disappears)
APHRODITE- And, as for you, (to Hathor) if you keep failing like this, we may need to lengthen your time here.
HATHOR- Oh, please! Aphrodite, no!!
APHRODITE- Then I suggest getting your “army” in top performance.
HATHOR- (sadly) Yes, your Highness.
APHRODITE- And, Hathor? (she looks back) I reccomend you do it soon.
(at Tabby’s house)
MILO- I must say, Chad, you did a good job today. You could use some practice with your weapon, though.
CHAD- I’m sorry.
MILO- Don’t be. It takes time and practice to learn the powers you have been given.
Back to main page
On to the next issue