FUCK YALL!!!

• Wanop: The trident is gimick infringement. your going to hell. Then your in my house!

• Usagi: Getting annoying if you ask me. do something cool for fucks sake! Kill somthing, steal something! quite being a seriously boring sack of shit!

• Beldor: the mighty beldor! basically wanop in wemic form. I guess if you do something well...

• Kismet: I dont think she knows what is going on. And she seems to always follow the kind of people that will get her in the most trouble.

• Billaboo:Hoh Hum. An insane, weird, dumb yet powerful character. How original.

• Vargus: Phew.... Im still getting over his last character. How long does this one have? Well he keeps fucking with Wanop. Vargus your time is soon, Fuck with me and your time will be now. Ill eat your eyes bitch. Mmmm. Eyes...

• Willie Leafblower II: The Fuck is this shit?! Who the Fuck came up with this name *see above*. Let alone to have leafblower II. Hey BJ change yer name and then pull off Billaboo's nipples with pliers. That'll shut him up! If that dont work, eat his face. Bot like it matters anyway. I think the people in the party forget about him being there enough. another game sesion or so and they will have forgotten him somewhere.

• Tate: I just have one thing to say... VD. BORING!

• The Ninja Pak: Well there isnt much left to this little group anymore is there. Down to rolling 3 deep. Man I could roll your whole crew! Trained to kill! Whoodie Whoo!

• Terak: This putrid little mouth follows after my own heart. he's even partaking of tourture right now. maybee he's on the wrong side of the whip, but we all gotta get it sometime right?

• The Firekin: What an attitude, and what a singing voice.

• Testius: Anyone that runs with his gonads out has got my vote.

• Walken: Man. what is up with all these boring characters. This shit hasnt done shit! not since the whole Kamedake 1/2 thing that never happened. where oh where is he. and when is he going to do something.

• Fagan: Who gives a shit. Honestly. half of the guys are doing exactly what Fagan wants, the other half are too stoppid to do anything at all. Come on!

• Bob:Phew. who would have thunk that the original character could be SAVED by THE NEW CHARACTER! wow. how could he have been found?! hmmm. hmmm. I dont know!

• Klidious: Whats the point? In his 3 days of game play people have jumped ahead about 3 years.

• Mysterious Blue Cloaked Phantoms: ......... .. . .. .......... ........ I dont know what your talking about....... .... bitch.

Satan decides to comment on some plot twists

• The Capture of Terak: Well I think I speak for everybody that plays in the campain when i say. WHO CARES?!

• Evil Legion of Pornfork: It was nice while it lasted. pornville never looked so good. Funny. nothing gets done, until its taken over by evil.

• Evil Wanop: Best thing to happen to the campain since swooshin naked kings.

• Usagi's Ninja Clan: At least he got some direction. Tends to happen. after you DIE!

• Boo Boo as a Lycanthrope: Was a good little trick. cute little boo boo, with A BLOOD LUST!

• Blue Cloaked Phantom Satan Stalkers: I dont recall this one.... ........ .. . . . . ..... *yeah, fuck you*

• Wanop faces the Death Knight: Lucky for him he 'had' some guardians, that can sense where he is. ya know?

• Wanop's Time Travel experience (returns to Good wanop):Well all good things must come to an end sometimes. I dont think its all over though. Good ol wanop got a taste now. Its only a matter of time. mwehehehe.

• Walken Defiles the Grove: Surprise! What about that lycantrope? But hey, it got him in the new world.... right?

• Beldor becomes hated among Dwarves: Whats to say? Not any different than what happens in most any other town visited by the mighty beldor.

• Wanop's trial: Fun. But you'd be surprised that someone could become even more wanted than a murderous pirate.

• PornCoins mysterious Portal: Who would have known that everyone was actually helping the bad guys. What a kick a kick in the nuts. Thats a story line you gotta love!

• Bob and the glasses: What a fitting end to a worthless character. Fuck him, and the wood elf he fucked to get on the island.

• Billaboo meets Kismet in a bathhouse: What the fuck kinda shit is this? If some dood started following me around after seeing me neked in a bath house, I'd cut his asshole out and make hotdogs out of it. But thats just me i guess.

• Kamedake Vs Walken?: The biggest battle of the century. If it would have happened. But it didnt..... so i dont know why I have to coment on something that will never happen. Who comes up with this shit!? Im gonna have to put my writers on the rack for this one. cock bitch cunt fuck shit damn whore dike fag chink nigga slut gook honky A-rab

• Usagi meets Osaka: What a perfectly worthless end to a long boring fucked up plot. Take that bitch!

• Enter the Vargus: What about him? Again trying to control ol wanop eh? If the DM cant do it what makes you think that you'll have a chance. Give it up. By the looks of it, Bob had a better chance.

• Testius and Beldor run Pornville: AHAHAHAHAHA! What the fuck are you guys thinking? Im gonna love to see what happens when you all get back to pornville, if theres anything left. Those two have probably been staging massive s&m orgies. hmmm, maybee satans next stop? I'll show em what the fucks up! yeah, satan might just have to jump into the plot. fuck you dm. Ill give you a 'yeah right' straight up your ass! and fuck you for telling me how to tyoepe.

If you were an utterly worthless NPC *yeah right* and you were kiddnaped like 2 years ago and were relying on your worthless friends to bail you out and let's say by some magic stroke of yer shriveled red faggoty wang, they showed up. How many ways would you teach your monkey to scratch yer balls while blowing air up your asshole at the same time? ya worthless bitch!

Well Terak. Im not really sure how to answer your pitiful attempt at rescue. They have all forgotten you. They dont care. No one cares. Suck it up. Your going to die a miserable little wretch and theres nothing you can do about it. Enjoy the mild tourture you are going through now. when you get into HELL you will be wishing for the day when you might get mild torture.

Question 1 comes today from Carew. He asked me...

EH why are you so mean?

Well Carew. After trying to usurp power from "God" as everyone knows him as (from now on I will be refering to him as Bitch-boy), I was sent to the deep depth of Hell to sit in a corner and think about what I had done for all eternity. Well that started me out with alittle grudge. And then I got pissed off. So I Tempted the little lady that he created (go for the weakest link thats what i always say) and naturally the woman tempted the man to sin. So i kinda got him back there. But not nearly enough. This corner is pretty stuffy, and im always getting cramps from this damned chair. its uncomfy. so you try and sit in an uncomfortable seat facing a corner for all eternity and not be pissed off! Fack yerself!

Question 2 comes to us today from Risca, he says

Wanna fight? I'll bet ya ten casks of whiskey I kin whip yer arse!

Well Risca, you putrid little self indulgent cack. I would rip your face off with my dick. And then eat it. Cuz im just that kind of guy. As for whiskey goes, great idea! Lets put ten cask of extremely flamable liquid in the hottest place in the universe! genius. come up with something usefull, like ice water, and we'll talk.

Question 3 comes to day from Boo Boo Kitty. He asks:

So uh yer an informative demon right?

Well Boo Boo. Simply put.... NO SHIT!!! man they dont pay me enough for this shit! I need a raise. How about all my health care benefits, a pension plan and the DM'S SOUL!!!

Question number 4 comes to us today from Princess. She asked:

Why are you so scared of the man in the blue cloak?

............. ..................... .......................

Whatever........ fuck head.

Question number 5 comes from Bob. He asked me:

Who are you and what have you done with my moose?

Well Bob. Arent we feeling smart. We figured out how to use a computer and everything. Too bad you could'nt come up with a question that is worth a damn. I sure hope that Vargus doesnt kill you ya sack of shit! If I ever come across you ill gut ya with my +13 anal beads!

Question 6 comes from Penis Possum. He said:

MY FRIEND SCREWED YER CAT POSSUM STYLE!

Well Penis Possum... you are retarded. Thats all I have to say about that.

Question 7 comes to us today from Skippaaay. He asked me:

whats 1+1?

Well Skippaaay... The answer to the most intelligent question that I have been asked so far on this column (which is very very very sorry i might add) is: TWO HORNS STICKING RIGHT OUT OF YOUR ASS!!!

Our 8th question comes from the recently deceased Vargus. From Hell he asked me:

Do you think your somekind of bad ass? If so, why are you running around the globe lookin like shit and weak to boot?

Well Vargus. What the fuck do you think you're doing writing me a stoopid question like that? Ya little queer. And considering that your dead what does it matter to you? Of coarse I have to expect some self righteous load of bull from you dont I?

Question number nine is a pitiful fight back from a previous question made by Risca. He sayss:

Don't avoid the question ye shit fer brains. I asked if ye wanted tae fight, we could wager cow shite fer all I give a rats arse. I just wanna whip yer sorry red rear end. BAH! Name da time and da place.

Ussually when people run around with such ungodly huge ego's they are trying to compensate for being unusually inadequate in other areas. You bore me.

Question number 9 is from skippaaay. He asks:

dood, seriously..."who is your daddy, and what does he do" -arnold swarzanegger...or something hehehe...wanna rastle? I mean seriously kids...1+1= EXACTLY...am I right? oh...hi jesse, hi everyone. oh yea, why did my girlfriend dump me for a 19 year old? I mean, whats up with that?

Well you obviously have alot on your mind. I dont have a "daddy" per say. I wasn't born. I was created. An intersting process negating the conception portion. Not nearly as fun to watch. I would rastle, but after putting in a 16 hour day of tourture you just kinda like to sit back and relax with a beer and see whats on tv. As for your ex, well that could be alot of things. She was probably intriged by him becase he more than likely worships me. so if you make satan worship your primary goal in life, you will get lots of chicks.

Question ten is from smith. He poses some very intersting topics. He asks:

Your Satan, What do you think about Gang rape, Child rape, molestation, Paedophilia. Satan do you Agree with Paedophillia???

Well since you are simply asking my immediate opinion on each topic i will refrain from explaining any ellicit details about any of them. gang rape is cool, and child rape, milestation and paedophilia are all pretty much the same thing and all work very well in torture situations. Thanks for your questions.

Question 11 comes today from rock falling your head... ..... right. any way, he says:

So what would you do to someone who bad mouths the man in charge?

well it depends on the situation. most people bad mouth me. cuz, well to put it simply, it sucks to be in hell. So they start out with the "please please dont do this blah blah blah" but most everyone gets over that within the first century or so and just get bitter and pissed and mouthy. So its pretty typical. It doesnt really bother me. well... ok sometimes it hurts... ya know? i mean come on, im just doing my job and all. But then i go and sit in a nice quiet corner and think about it and realize, hey... im acting like a complete puss. Its my job, and i go right back out there and make them eat their own poo for a millenia or so. I hope that answered your question.

Question number 12 comes from the national enquirerer. The nice people at the N E continually come to me for bits and peices to ad to their paper. I give them deep info in exchange for a nice package of ALL THEIR SOULS. Thanks again guys! any way. they ask me:

I heard Sadam Hussein likes to get you up the butt, is there any truth to this statement, and if so, please elaborate.

Well It is true that me and Sadam had a "thing" But i quickly learned that we were not right for each other and i kicked the bitch to the curb. Watch the whole movie next time. jeez.

Were am I? I mean really last I remember I was plotting to go behind the backs of my friends and join up with this Fagan guy and after that I don't remember anything. Being Satan and all I figured you would know were I am.

~Waraugh~

Good question Waraugh. Your Character has ended up in a place that transcends all space and time. It is the inactive character limbo. Your character is staying in a state in which nothing is happening. As such, nothing bad, and nothing good can happen to you. To cure this ailment you must simply kick the DM in the ass. Its a simple process that alot of people overlook. Go up to him. Kick him swiftly in the rear and say "HEY! FUCK HEAD!!! WHEN ARE WE GOING TO PLAY NEXT?!"

We got a letter from the DM!!!! oh whoopie. the fag says:

I'm Watching you mister and I see a trip to the elemental plane of water in your future.

I dont know if your trying to make that a threat or not. It sounds similar to a threat. has the similar typing of a threat, but just doenst strick fear in my heart (teehee). Wanna try again with something that might worry me?

Next question comes from princess.... again. I will answer this question right now, so no one has to worry about reading it or anything. FUCK OFF!!! >:I

SO....are you ever going to answer my question about the guy in the blue cloak or what. Your just a pussy :)

Next question comes from Treak... again.... Anyway. he says:

Hey ya red assed fag! I actually got freed! So my new question is: If I actually gave a penguin toed Rat's Ass, what would get me a good job in Hell?

Yes, you actually got freed. And i think that everyone is sooooo happy about that one. Being they all knew where you were and sought you out with the sole intention of rescuing you... right? yeah, exactly, SHUT UP! a job in hell eh? I'd probably have you clipping your toenails for all eternity. YEAH, YA LIKE THAT BIOITCH?!

Next question comes from Klidious he asks:

Hey Satan, I have problems getting women. What do you suggest?

Well its hard to say man, in the world all that depends on the dm, and with out dm... damn man you might as well go gay... but just in case you find a little hottie in this campaign then the best thing to do is be yourself.... and if that doesnt work hit her in the face, club her in the back of her head, drag her off to some corner, violate her (in the mouth or armpit) and be happy you got that much play.