This is actually a few sessions time for Carew to play catch-up
Kismet makes a trip to Joril only to be warped back to Porn via Hastur's portal. Darwin
Yosho and Wanop continue their quest to find usagi by traveling to the monastary of
Pornadia. Where they came across the estranged monk Kame Sutra. They cut a sweet
deal with the monks on teleportation scrolls under the condition that they must take
Kame Sutra with them. Darwin makes his move by buying up an extra teleport scroll.
They teleport to Usagi's side while he is in the middle of a stealthy mission which he is
forced to abort. Once the proper introductions are made the crew decides to rush off to
Pornville as no one has been there in ages. Meanwhile Testius convinces the eager Wolf
to stay his hand in the heat of potential battle. With the added muscle of a 10' Dino-man
Wolf fears no man least of all a 4' goblin who is the self proclaimed ruler of his entire
race. After making Shaggy a slave Wolf and Testius continue on to Freedale only to
meet with Prostiate Beldor and Taran. They all decided to go to pornville since no one
had been there in ages and apparently zombies now infested the town. Off to Pornville
they used Wanop's Secret entrance into the fortress and began to clean things out.
However when Beldor fell before a Zombie Lord in the abandoned remenants of
Waraugh's lab he proceeds to kill off his own former team-mates one by one. Until
Prostiate, Testius, and Taran all met their doom. At this Gord, Wolf, and Shaggy beat a
hasty retreat only to meet up with the rest of the crew. Now with Kismet Hastur Wanop
Darwin Gord Klidius Shaggy Wolf and Usagi here they proceded to return and retrieve
the body of Testius Beldor and Prostiate. However as Wanop was preoccupied with the
deaths of his long time friends Darwin and Gord made their move using his stealth
abilities Darwin snagged Pornfork out of Wanop's Sheath and Gord teleported the two of
them out of there. In speedy fashion Xicavir and the Fanix set forth to Hamachi to
unlock the portal that had until now sealed Fagan out of the realm. Fagan returned and
was at full power. Releasing a tremendous burst of power he planeshifted the entire town
of pornville into the realm he had so recently been stranded. The planeshift was not a
clean one however and all of the inhabitants were thrown from their bodies and now
residing in alien bodies. How they will get home? Only time will tell. Darwin seeing that
his vision of Fagan was not a clear one now feels some remorse for what he has done and
has set out on his own. Gord on the other hand alligns himself with Fagan to see what it
is that he can learn from these powerfull beings.
So how do you sum up a year of playing time in a paragraph or two? Ya don't. Anyways let's get to work.
DARWIN: Went his own way in the oriental lands after breaking with the Fanix. (He hasn't seen the last of them) And decided to try and reconcile his heinous deeds. This sent him on a wild goose chase that led him into drow attacks and the Elf hating lands of Tranda. Where he fought a spider and gained an ally in Feng. With Feng he traveled to Benitrad where he met up with Kismet in The form of Avery. (see below) He traveled to Freedale and met with Boo Boo Kitty and one who looked exaclty like Wanop. He battled Boo Boo and seemed to give pornfork over to him and this supposed Wanop. He then traveled back to find that Kismet had resumed her search to find her true body but was now trapped in the zombie infested locale of Pornville which now seemed to be subteranean. Darwin went crazy during a zombie battle in the underdark and ran into the inky infinate night. Only to return months later without a memory.Recently he has tried to put the pieces together and claim more Porn weapons. Instead he went on a side trek to claim an Amulet for a saurial that bears a striking resemblance to Testius.
Kismet: Upon waking in another world she noted that she no longer commanded her own body and bonded with the soul of another (a psionicist winged elf named avery)she had a couple of misadventures involving a moaning diamond and a miniature firekin. Then possibly her strangest encounter came when she met a group of dwarven spelljammers who brought her back to the world she was most familiar with. She met up with darwin feng and Endrake only to split with them in order to obtain her body. When she regained her body it caused Avery to slip into a coma. The group had a quick ordeal as Drow slaves only to escape (they haven't seen the last of drow) With that escape endrake was able to enable the extraction of all the comatose members of the legion of pornfork. The bodys now lie upstairs in pepper's magic shop under the constant care of Hastur and Endrake. Kismet has since continued traveling with Feng and Darwin in search of her porn bow and to Save Beldor's ass.
Wanop:Thrown into the body of a murderous half orc named Glucktor It has been revealed to wanop that glucktor has at least killed one member or royalty and who knows who else. Glucktor had a breif run in with a druid in the woods which led to even more murder and a trip to Ravenloft. On this trip wanop learned that Fagan in one of his escape attempts was briefly trapped in this strange realm. Escaping barely he returned to save some halflings from some ogres (just long enough for them to become white dragon food) Wanop is now just trying to get some clothes.
Klidius: Was briefly sent into the body of an elven barbarian only to be mowed down by orcs. Then to find that he is in the astral plane and that his whole life is a lie constructed by some nameless ominous being. and that his true name is Amoz. After freeing an ancient and deceased diety he learned how to return to his body and then got out of the underdark. He now seeks some sort of civilization.
Okay the session starts out with Darwin, Feng and Kismet without an ocean going vessel (unless you wanna count a lifeboat as ocean going). Darwin Feng and Kismet scout ahead where they are attacked by ogres, however instead of killing one Darwin hires him and a handful of his buddies to help them get their boat back.
With the newly acquired Ogre Crew they approach the pirate ships with utter confidence. Trying to pass himself off as a foreign merchant Darwin tries several bluff tactics and bartering techniques to get back the boat. When that fails Darwin attempts to attack the pirate captain but is denied when he assumes Gaseous form and escapes. During this skirmish Feng begins assault on the boat from the outside by having the ogres throw spears and rocks at the boat. Kismet seals the deal by casting disintegrate on the hull causing the ship to sink.
After a few rounds of combat the boat vanishes and the pirate captain sneaks off to another location. The group slowly removes the pirate menace from their own boat and frees the crew.
Feeling that the matter is not yet closed Darwin takes the rowboat and rows right into the lair of the pirates which quickly becomes apparent that this is where they teleported to. The ship is in port as the damage Kismet dealt is being repaired.
Darwin faces the pirate captain in one on one combat. Darwin narrowly defeats the pirate leader as he attempts to flee in the same manner as before. With the matter finally settled they leave the island never to return. (Although Feng did express interest in the pirate lifestyle). Returning to Tixitat Darwin makes good on his promises of Ale and Pie. They also learn of a magical bow that was recently given to Mayor Pifflestone from foreign emmisaries. Darwin purchases the bow and hides it in the mountains. Kismet, it seems already has the bow, leading one to believe that the other was a fake.
After a good night of drunken tomfoolery the heros call it a night. However later in that evening Kismet is attacked by 4 rouges in her own room. She quickly dispatches the threat and is hauled "downtown" until the matter can be resolved.
After learning what had happened Darwin seeks divine information about whether someone is seeking the bow. He learns that indeed there is someone else about that was looking for the bow. A somewhat pointless questioning of corpses reveals that they were paid to steal the bow, not kill Kismet, and that Kismet was acting merely out of self defense when she killed the intruders. Being released Kismet feels she can trust no one. The session ends with her drinking cautiously downstairs while Feng and Darwin retire for the night/morning.
The session opens with Feng drinking the morning away with his ogre muscle. That is until the one time mayor of Tixitat enters the bar with two thugs and a mysterious female figure.
It turns out Ambrose was searching for Darwin and Feng to retrive a item for him and they are hired for the job on the condition that Sendria (the female merc) come on this particular recon mission. The bargain is made and the contract is formally drawn.
They set out to find a brooch supposedly belonging to Ambrose's late mother. What they find is an organized group of Dire Lions led by a battered Manticore which has been waiting to ambush them.
In a fairly close call our heroes come out on top and retrive the brooch. However they find there is more to the brooch than being just a fancy dinner date accessory and they decide to keep it.
After taking their payment and then some from Ambrose they head off to give Seritus the Saurial the Phantasham amulet. Only to find when they arrive that Girildibar has been sacked by Drow. Not only that apparently their friends have been kidnapped or can not be located. After revealing the intention to find their friends. Kismet reveals that she has in fact been following their every move incognito thanks to a ring of invisibility. It remains to be seen what the next step will be but it seems to be another dark day for the Legion of Pornfork.
Actually I have no idea when this all happened but that's the date I am updating this bad boy.
After returning to find the place sacked they strive to find everyone by returning to the underdark as they are sure that is where the bastages are being held. Unfortunately that is not the case as they storm the Drow city seeking answers and are nearly crushed for their efforts. Luckily Darwin has returned to his senses and saves Feng and Kismet from being spider food for Lloth herself.
Getting out of the underdark they Find some info from a vagrant old man that a Green Dragon may have their friends in the woods north of town. They find the dragon and defeat him easily but find the Dragon is in leauge with Formians.
After defeating many of the Formians they retreated back to Girildibar with SOME of their missing companions but the location of the comatose bodies Endrake, and Hastur still remain a mystery.
Meanwhile they have been summoned before the King of Gijil for questioning regarding the Drow raid on Girildibar.
The Group is summoned to Gijil so they set out but are nearly done before they begin due to the ambush of a group of formians and a Green Dragon.(This is becoming a regular occurance!) Dhu blinds the green dragon forcing it to flee. Unfortunately Dhu was still on the beasts back when it teleported. No matter if I dimension door enough times I'll beat the party to Gijil anyways.
When they are arrive they are given a cool reception as Beldor is told he must remain outside of City limits. Feng argued with the city guards to no avail. Apparently it's against policy to be a Wemic.
Dhu forges a royal document and gets Beldor in. The group is forced to wait around until the council can be assembled. They are then questioned by the High Chancellor with the whole council looking on. Feng starts rebelling again as Dhu calmly tells them all: "What really happened"
The Chancellor looked more than happy to put them into a cage when the King of Gijil wandered into the proceedings with an animal carcass flung over his back. He invited them into his office and wanted to hear about their adventures. He got them all off on the charges and invited them to stay in his "keep" so that they could meet for drinks that evening at the "Hairy Oxen"
The King however never made it as things broke out into chaos when 3 Bachae walked into the bar and the party simply would not stop. Neither would Feng apparently. But they were able to magically force him to sleep and he seemed to be fine the next day. With the aide of the Royal high mage the disaster was contained. Usagi meanwhile was up to some shadey dealings to find out where the missing bodies were. In order to find out he needed to steal the eyes(emeralds) from the green dragons head that was mounted in the kings office and return them to a halfling named Spinty. With the help of Dhu he retrieved these without breaking a sweat.
He found that the bodies were in the lair of a Were-Rat below the city. They traveled below and battled through the mostly abandoned sewers to do battle with the Were-Rats. Instead of eradicating the rats they convinced the heroes just to "take whatever you want and JUST LEAVE!" So the heros left the sewers with Hastur, and the unconscious bodies in tow. Yosho was reunited with his body and now only 2 remain who need to be awakened.
The story started with the heroes milling about. Feng resurrected Darwin, Kismet bought Usagi a map, and Beldor started himself on fire trying to cook the hay.
After experimenting with an alcohol with no name, Usagi and Feng both turned blue and Usagi passed out. After dragging Usagi home she hears a thud from upstairs to find Hastur bloody and unconscious; and the bodies (including Wanop's) were gone.
After using a healing potion on Hastur he spoke the word poison and passed out again. Gathering the group they cured the poison and cured Usagi's drunkeness with a fern that only grows in the lair of a Red Dragon, thus causing flaming bubbles to erupt from his mouth... but he was sober.
Darwin finding a hidden passage in the room found a tunnel leading down into the Underdark. Scouting ahead while the others gathered supplies he battled with a giant Cockroach in the pitch black caverns.
After the group caught up, Darwin continued to scout ahead discovering a large lake with a rope bridge, starting across the rope bridge he was attacked by a Leviathan Kou-Toa! After some hit and miss they were able to scare off the beast with an illuminated arrow.
Kismet thought it was now best to give Darwin her ring of invisibility so that he might not attract so much attention. He scouted ahead to find the great nest and Temple of a Yuan-Ti settlement. Creeping into the settlement Darwin was doing well until he entered the Temple of Mershaulk dispelling his invisibility.
The group rushed to his aid only to be caught and overwhelmed by the Yuan-Ti. Luckily they were not killed, they were brought before the High Priest and forced to watch a dark ritual.
Using Wanop the priest shattered Pornfork before their eyes and put the "essence" of the weapon into another much darker trident. Then he cast the paralyzed heroes into the slave pits....
So ends our story, for now.