Things to do at Target while the spouse/partner is taking his/her sweet time:
1. Get boxes of condoms & randomly put them in peoples carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at 10 minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of orange juice on the floor to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "I think we have a code 3 in house wares," and see what happens.
5. Put M&M's on lay away.
6. Move "CAUTION WET FLOOR" signs to carpet areas.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them if they bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When someone asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask "Why won't you people leave me alone?"
9. Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
11. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission Impossible".
12. In the auto department practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
13. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through say "PICK ME! PICK ME!!!!!!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker assume the fetal position an scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again".
15. Go into the fitting room and yell real loud ...."Hey we're out of toilet paper in here!".
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