"Hey Pam!' Justin yelled from the kitchen.
"Yeah"
"Will you come here for a minute?"
Pam stood up from her seat on the couch and walked into the kitchen, mumbling something about he always needs help and laughing. Sitting also on the couch were JC and Chrissy. But also in the room were Chris, Carla, Joey, Sarah, and Shannon. Jen had stayed at Joey's apartment, and Christina and Lance had just called from the doctors office saying they were on their way.
"JC, is there any chance that the doctor was wrong?" Chrissy asked.
"We can always hope that she was wrong," JC answered.
"I can't imagine how they must be feeling right now," Carla added.
"Neither can I..I can't imagine thinking or knowing I was sick or thinking that something would happen to Carla." Chris said as he pulled her closer to him.
"Guys if the test came back with bad news this is going to be hard on them.They are going to need time alone to work through their feelings and work on a plan, but also more importantly we all have to be there for them.
When they push us away we can't be hurt, we have to come back again and try. Do you know what I mean?" Sarah said from her seat beside Joey.Everyone shook his or her head in understandment.
Shannon had sat silently on the couch, until the doorbell rang.She jumped up and ran to the door. Opening it she saw Jonathan. Christina had called him, before she pulled out of the doctor's parking lot. Shannon collapsed in his arms as he walked into the door. Everyone greeted him as he gently led her to a seat on one of the couches. He tried to soothe her
and calm her down, as everyone went back to his or her conversations.
"I think I might try to move here sooner then I planned." Carla said.
"I think that sounds like a good idea." Chris said.
"Well I am a nurse, so ifwell you knowI could be of help."
"Sounds like a good idea." Sarah agreed.
"Well since we are talking about moving dateswe are all suppose to go home in two days." Chrissy said sadly.JC pulled her into his arms and held her close. Four days had flown by. Lance had been to the doctor's one more time for some more tests and he had just went again to get the results. The past four days had been
quiet. No one went out much and spent a lot of time watching movies or relaxing. Christina and Lance had secluded themselves to a degree, mainly staying at his condo.
Everyone had grown closer through the waiting time except for Jen. She couldn't understand why it was a big deal. She had distanced herself from
everyone slightly. It was almost like she was afraid that she would get what ever it was that Lance had if she were around. Joey was trying his hardest to understand, but he wouldn't abandon his friend at this time of need. This had caused a rift in their relationship. He felt like she was trying to pull him away from his friend, and it hurt him greatly to think
that she would really want him to leave his friends side. They seemed to spend less time together and more apart as the days went by. Both were hurting know this wasn't right, but neither could make themselves end it.
Chris and Carla spent every second together. They had grown as close as a couple could get. Neither wanted to be apart from the other.But they had also been sure to try to help Christina and Lance stay calm.
They had spent a night watching movies at their condo, and invited them to dinner. But Christina and Lance just wanted to be alone in each other's
arms.
JC and Chrissy had spent a lot of time walking and talking. They had been to the beach everyday and just walked for hours, talking about all that was happening. It helped them both to be able to tell the other how scared they were and that they both felt sorry for Christina and Lance. They promised each other that they would stay right there to help
them.
Pam and Justin had made it their job to keep Shannon preoccupied during the day, while Jonathan was at work. They took her shopping and
tried to get her out and keep her busy as much as possible. She had been trying to be strong and not show her fear in front of Lance. She was so
scared but she didn't want him to worry about her. She knew he needed to concentrate on himself and not her. She was petrified that he wouldn't always be there. He was suppose to always be there, he was her best friend, and best friends aren't suppose to die in their 20's.
"GuysI canceled my flight to Cali." Shannon said.
"What?" Justin said, Pam and he had just been in the kitchen getting
drinks and were walking in when Shannon had started to talk.
"I canceled my flightwell actually I postponed it. There's no way I can leave, I need to be here for Lance and be here to help." Shannon said. The
others nodded in agreement and sat silently thinking.
Trisha, Rusty, Kelli, and Andy had grown close to everyone in the few days since they had gotten there. While they didn't know Lance as
well, it upset Rusty and Andy to see their friend in pain. They had tried to help keep Christina and Lance's hopes up but it wasn't working. They
had both thoughts of all that could happen. There wasn't anything that anyone could do to get his or her minds off of what was happening. The only time they left the condo was for their meeting with Johnny, a
doctor's appointment, and then again for the group dinner they had planned the night before. They just wanted to sit, holding each other, and think.
But what they didn't realize was that their friends really needed to be around them as much as they needed to be alone. They didn't think that their friends could be in pain, they could only feel their own.
"Guys Christina has a flight out in two days." Pam said.
"I bet she's forgotten all about it." Chrissy said.
"Actually she called the other day and asked me to call the airport and cancel it." JC said.
"Okay" everyone said.
They continued to talk occasionally until they heard a car pull in the driveway. A few minutes later the door opened and everyone's faces fell as they looked at Lance and Christina. Both had been crying and Lance
looked extremely white. The groups' worse fears were confirmed. No one said anything as Lance and Christina walked in and sat down. Each of their thoughts raced over memories and shared laughs. Thinking of days at the beach, days of touring, inside jokes, movies saw together, concerts performed, tries at basketball, and other memories he had shared with them.
"Well guys it's confirmed" Lance said and paused, his voice was monotone hiding all emotions behind it's shield "I've got a malignant tumoractually
there appears to be two."
Shannon started to cry and Jonathan took her into his arms to soothe her. As Lance watched Shannon start to cry he could feel his own tears develop and fall down his face, all the energy he had been using to
avoid crying in front of his friends had been exhausted and now he was physically and emotionally drained. He leaned forward and cried into his
hands as Christina wrapped her arms around him and help him as a mother does her hurt child. She had become so caring and loving over the past few
days, worrying more about him then herself. Neither had slept well or eaten much, both just thinking at all times of what could happen. Christina looked at the faces of her friends. They were all compassionate
and understanding. All wanting to say the right things to take away the pain but not sure what they was that should be said.
"Well what did Johnny say?" JC asked finally breaking the silence that had absorbed the room.
"We have a press conference at 5 PM today and I'll announce I'm sick and that the tour is being canceled for now." Lance said. The meeting with Johnny had went well, he understood that Lance had to concentrate on his health and he also understand how the group could not go on singing without one member. Lance was still upset about messing up the careers of
his friends and had tried to convince them to find another bass singer and to start a new tour. But they wouldn't go for it
"Okay so what time do we need to be there?" Justin asked.
"By four" Lance answered, "excuse me" he added as he stood and walked out of the room.
"Christina, when does he start treatment?" Carla asked.
"Monday the day you all are suppose to leave."
"I'm not leaving" Shannon stated.
"I figured that, I'm not either. I figured and hoped that you would stay around and be able to help out for a while." Christina replied, "Excuse me I'm going to go check on him." She said as she stood up and left the
room to go into the kitchen.
She found Lance sitting in the kitchen talking to his mom. He was shaking and she could tell him mom was crying. "Yeah, Monday" he said into the phone, "No mom, you guys stay there. I really think it would be better if I went alone for right now. I want to do this by myself." Christina walked over to him and took his hand in hers he hadn't noticed her walk into the room until she took his hand. Looking up at her, Christina noticed that Lance had went from a grown adult to a child in less then a week. "Momlisten I'm okay I'll be okay I gotta go. Please stop crying I know
it's hard Yeah Christina's here No I don't think she is going to be going back to Indiana soon Yeah I really need to go I have to go do a press conference at 4 Okay Love you too bye mom." Lance hung up the phone and buried his head into Christina's shoulder. This was going to be harder then he had thought that it would be.
"Come on let's go wash your face and go back to our friends." Christina said lovingly. She had taken on a mothering role when it came to telling him what to do, she always convinced him to get in the shower or eat a
little or go to sleep. Taking his hand she led him to the bathroom. She washed his red blotched face with cool water and dried his eyes. Then gently kissed him and washed her own face. They turned off the light and
went back to their friends. When everyone saw them they sighed quietly here sat two 24 year olds in love, and unsure about their future.
While they were gone Justin had turned the TV on MTV. Everyone's attention turned to it as the news came on. "Anada Lewis here with the latest breaking music news. It seems that one of the members of NSYNC has run into some sort of problem. We aren't sure whom or what but at five we will be broadcasting a live news conference with all the members of NSYNC.Management told us a few days ago that they maybe having a news conference
soon and today at about 2 they called all of the news broadcasters to inform us that it would be today. We have no clue as to what the problem
is but we are hoping that it is not serious. So stay tuned to MTV for the latest breaking news in the music world. As always this is Anada Lewis with the last breaking music news on MTV."
"Great" Lance said as he fell back against the couch, "there goes any chance that there wouldn't be a big turn out or that there wouldn't be fans watching."
They all just sat silently watching the music and news that played on MTV. At fifteen minutes till four they left for the conference.Everyone loaded into JC's Jeep, Chris' car, and Justin's Mercedes. They drove to the site and immediately saw thousands of fans outside. Lance closed his eyes and laid his head against the seat. He knew he had to tell the world what was going on. It was part of his job it was all part of being famous. He just wished that he had more time to prepare himself for this. It had been less then a week since he had been to the doctor the first time, and now less then five hours after he found out he had cancer he was telling the world. The three cars pulled up to the back of the arena where the meeting was being held. Everyone climbed out and ran into
the building. JC, Justin, and Chris gave their keys to one of the bodyguards and he went to park their cars as Johnny pulled everyone into a dressing room. He had a change of clothes for all the guys and a make-up
hairstylist waiting on them. The guys changed into three piece black suits, and different colored shirts. At 4:50 they were ready to go and sitting on the couches in the room. Everyone was sitting with their loved one and not talking. No one had discussed what they were going to say or who would talk when. They just sat waiting on Johnny.
"I can't do this." Lance stated suddenly.
"What? Yes you can" JC reassured him.
"NO!"
"Lance, we will go out there and face this as a group. Our fans will be supportive." Justin said.
"No I can't why won't you listen to me. I can't face this. It isn't a matter of the fans being supportive, I just can't go and face this." Lance said.
"Lance you have to face this. We don't have a choice. It's this or just to pretend that nothing is wrong and let the world think that everything is going perfect. Which it isn't. Lance this isn't a choice we can make."
Chris said.
"You guys don't understandI don't think I can face any of this. The fans,the doctor trips, the treatments, the cancerany of it." Lance said.
"Hun" Christina started, then paused.
"Lance you can face this. You are the strongest person I know." Justin said "Who is the one always saying it'll work out, or it'll get better, or have faith?"
Lance could only shake his head as what his friends were saying sunk in. He didn't have a choice in this one. He had to fight this, and to face the life changes as they came. He closed his eyes in the hope that is they were closed and he reopened them that everything would have been a dream, and that he would be home. When he opened his eyes though he knew
it wasn't a dream, that this was actually happening.
A few minutes later Johnny opened the door and ushered the guys out. The girls followed close behind. Standing off on the side wing, Lance held onto Shannon and Christina's hands and squeezed them as Justin led the group in a prayer.
"Dear Lord, today we are faced with the fact that we aren't going to be a group for a while. I hope you give us the strength we need to face this.Let us be able to explain this to our fans and the news people in a way that will allow them to understand what is going on. Give Lance the strength he needs right now to face this. Lord in your name we ask this
things, Amen" the group all spoke amen together and then walked onto the stage.
Looking on from the side, the girls could see that the guys all had plastered smiled on. They looked like they always did, if you didn'tlook deep. The make-up artist had covered the redness in Lance's face and
the paleness in the guys. But if a person looked at their eyes deeply you could see a dull set looking back. There was pain in all their eyes and
more then that there was fear.
Christina felt her head start to spin as the news conference started. She reached out and grabbed the closet arm to keep from fainting.As she grabbed Carla's arm, Carla turned around and noticed immediately how pale she was. She grabbed a chair and pushed Christina into it. She was trying to not draw any attention to what was happening, so that the
guys wouldn't see or be worried. She whispered to Kelli and Trisha to go get some water and orange juice. Everyone standing backstage had gathered
around to find out what was happening. When Chrissy saw Christina it immediately dawned on her that no one had eaten that day and that with the stress of it all was probably why she had started to faint. After drinking a little orange juice and getting some air Christina started to feel better and get more color back in her face. She started to apologize for
causing all the problems, and everyone turned back to the stage. They notice JC and Justin looking their way and Carla gave them a look of don't worry and they went back to the news media.
As Johnny told the world what was going on in the group, Lance sat with his eyes glued on his hands on the table. On his right was Justin,
then JC, on his left was Chris then Joey, and beside Joey was the podium at which they were all to talk. Johnny introduced each guy and allowed him a few minutes to talk. Joey walked up first saying that the hoped all of the fans would be supportive, and that they would continue in anyway possible to perform and keep their music alive. Chris stood next and hanked the fans for the years of support, leaving with a comment that Lance would never forget.
"Lastly I would like to ask God to not make this a hard experience on our dear friend. I ask each fan out there to say a prayer for his health,maybe if enough of us pray God will hear and listen to us. Thanksand stay NSYNC." Chris said then sat down after patting Lance on the back.
JC stood next to speak to the fans. Thanking them for everything they had ever done, and asking them to continue their support. He said that it was the groups' choice to not sing with out one of the members and that it wasn't a choice that was being forced on them. He explained that he just couldn't imagine singing without all the members and even without
being together as a group they would always be NSYNC. Justin stood next again thanking the fans for the support and for the memories.
"I may only be 22 years old right now, but I now what it feels like to hurt. Here I sit with my best friends knowing one is sick and not being able to do anything to make him better. I only wish that all of you would
know how easy of a decision this was for us to make. It wasn't easy because Lance was sick, it was easy because we knew what was right. It doesn't make a difference if you are mad that we are not singing anymore,it only matters that Lance gets better." Lance could only look at Justin as he spoke. These words were coming from his heart. Justin thanked the fans again and sat down. Lance finally stood and walked to the podium. He stood there for a second not speaking just looking at the people. Some were crying but most just sat with shocked looks on their faces.
"I really don't know what to say to you all, that the rest of my bandmates and friends haven't said already. I could thank you for all the support, or apologize for having to cancel the tour but all these things have
already been said. I think the only thing I could say is that I am going to concentrate on getting better, and then when that happens we will be back stronger then ever. Thanks for the memories." Lance finished as he looked at every camera and then walked off stage followed by the rest of the band.
Johnny closed the conference by saying "The tour is canceled as of today and now our concerns and prayers turn to our band member and friend as he puts all his strength and concentration into his getting better. Our
prayers and thought, as we hope yours are, are with him. Thank you for coming today," he walked off the stage after the rest of the group.
Lance sighed after everyone was off the stage. There was so much he had to do in so few days. He looked at his friends who were all concerned, 'I don't want them to worry' he thought to himself, 'put a smile on your face. There's two days until they leave and you start your treatments. Just smile and have fun.' "Come on guys let's get out of here," he said as he took Christina's hand and began to lead her out the back door. "We need to get something to eat."
Everyone looked at Lance and knew this was just a front but decided it would be easier to just go along with it then to fight him. It was agreed that they would go to a 50's style restaurant to eat. Walking
in they found a long table and everyone sat down. Their dinner was quiet for once no fans were around. At the end of their dinner they heard the radio announcer say that NSYNC was canceling their tour and why and for their reason they were going to play "God Must Have Spent A Little More Time On You." As the music started all the guys longed to sing along. Once
it reached the first few words Lance stood and pulled Christina out of her seat. He wrapped his arms around her and began to sway with the music. Everyone took his lead and began to dance in the middle of the restaurant.
"These words say it all" Lance said to Christina as he sang.
"Can this be true?
Tell me can this be real?
How can I put into words what I feel?
My life was complete,
I thought I was whole,
Why do I feel like I'm losing control?
I never thought that love could fell like this.
Then you changed my world with just one kiss.
There's an angel.
It's a miracle.
Your love is like a river.
Peaceful and deep.
Your soul is like a secret that I never could keep.
When I look into your eyes I know that it's true.
God must have spent a little more time on you."
Lance stopped singing as he heard his fellow band members had started singing. It hadn't really hit him how much he would miss just singing. Over the last few years it had become his life. "This song has
meant so much to meit's how I feel about so many people." Lance said.
"I knowI feel the same way." Christina replied, almost as if planed they kissed as Justin sang
"Never thought hat love could feel like this, When you changed my world with just one kiss."
At the songs end they paid their checks and left quietly going back to Justin's. The group spent most of the next few days together only being apart at night or when necessary. They didn't want to lose any time together.
"Ring! Ring!"
"Hello!" Chrissy answered.
"Hey Chrissy!" the voice answered.
"Hey, Christina, what's up?"
"Well, I just wanted to say bye to everyone and tell you all to have a safe trip."
"You aren't coming to the airport with us?" Chrissy asked. No one had talked about this day because they weren't ready to leave.
Carla was flying out for three days to finish packing and moving.Chrissy was going back to IU to finish her nursing degree, and Pam back to Illinois. But right now everyone had gathered at Justin's house except for
Lance and Christina. Chrissy looked around the room and realized how much she would miss the constant noise and commotion that came with having that many people together. "Heylet me put you on speaker phone" Chrissy said quickly.
"Chrissy don't I hate that" Christina said only to hear Chrissy say "Sorry".
Christina shook her head and looked to the couch. She saw Lance still sleeping on it. They had just gotten back from the doctor's office. He had his first treatment of radiation and he had barely made it to the condo before he fell asleep. His color was pale and looking at him broke Christina's heart. The doctor had given him some anti-nausea pills and a
few pain pills. The combination of the two made it easy for him to sleep.The doctor had told her that he would be tired today and probably tomorrow but then he should be back to his old self until the next treatment on Thursday. Then it would be a repeat of pain and lack of energy. Lance had already lost weight since being diagnosed and Christina constantly worried
about him. She didn't want him to get weak because she knew it would take all his strength for him to fight this. They had removed the tumors on Saturday and there hadn't been any complications, which relieved her of a lot of stress.
Everyone was at the hospital the day of the surgery and Carla and Chrissy both nursing students had been around to help with medicine and just getting him better. But after today it would just be Shannon, Christina, and the guys for a few days. Christina's thought drifted back to the phone when she heard "hey and Hi".
"Hey guys" she said as she walked into the kitchen to avoid waking Lance up.
"Whattcha want?" Justin asked.
"Just wanted to say bye to everyone."
"Oh" the group said.
"I miss you all already," she said as the tears started to streak her face.
"We knowwe miss you too."
"Please get me off the speaker phone?" Christina pleaded. She didn't want them all to hear her crying over the phone. "Yeah" JC said as he grabbed the phone "We'll just pass the phone around."
"Okay"
"I'm coming over after we leave the airport," he told her, "want me to bring anything?" "No! We're okay," Christina said. "Okay, well I'll call before I come"
"K" "Here's Carla" JC said. "Hey Christina" "Hi"
"I'll be back in no more then three or four days. You going to be okay?"Carla the never-ending mom asked.
"Yeah I think I can handle it." "Well if you or anyone else needs anything call me and I will try to
help." "Okay, bye girl."
"Bye Pam's next" Carla said as she handed the phone to Pam. "Hey CHRIS!" "Hey Pam" "This was fun!""Yeah some of it was." Christina said sadly. She didn't realize how much it helped to have them all there.
"I don't know what to say to make you feel better." Pam said."I know don't worry about it. Keep in touch."
"I willI think Sarah is next." "K talk to you later." Christina continued her way through the group saying
goodbye and telling them she'd keep them posted. She cried when she reached the last person. Chrissy's voice shook as she spoke.
"Hey Chrissy" she tried to stay cheerful. They had been friends since right after they met.
"Chris are you going to be okay?"
"I'll be fine. Just gotta be strong." Christina said and paused as she
heard yelling in the background. "What's that?"
"Joey and Jen are arguing again. She think since he doesn't have a tour to do now that he should fly to see her. But he doesn't want to. They've been arguing most of the day." Chrissy answered.
"Geez those two argue more thenyou and JC kiss." Christina joked trying tolighten the mood. She heard more yelling and what she assumed to be Jen saying "Fine if you won't come see me, then don't call or write either." Chrissy came back on the phone.
"Great they just broke up I think."
"Tell Joey to get on the phone."
"JOEY PHONE NOW!"
"Hello?" Joey asked.
"What happened?"
"Jen wants me to go home with her since the tour was cancelled but I can't leave and she doesn't understand that."
"Lance will be fine go with her and save the relationship."
"That's just itI don't think I care enough to do that."
"Joe it's up to you. But don't not go because of Lance. He already feels bad about everything you guys are giving up."
"I won'tI need to go figure this out. Did you talk to everyone?"
"Yeahbut put Chrissy back on the phone."
"KChrissy phone."
"What's up Chris?" she asked as she took the phone from Joey.
"I just wanted to thank for being such a wonderful friend. You are always there for me and know just when to make me laugh. Thanks girl." Christina said as she started to cry. Chrissy was speechless "I gotta goLance is waking up Talk to you later." Christina said as she hung up the phone. She went and checked on him and found her was still sleeping peacefully.Sitting down in a chair she closed her eyes and within a few minutes she
was asleep.
At 5 PM JC called and said he and Justin were on their way. They stayed until 10 and promised to stop by the next day. The phone rang often that night with people saying they got home safely and checking on Lance.
He had slept the day away but seemed more like himself when they went to
bed. Christina knew this wasn't going to be as easy as everyone hoped, but
she also hoped that with Shannon and the guys around that they would be
able to make it.
