Don't take this personally ^_^
All of these are all copyrighted to
their respectable owners.

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GUILTY VERSION 2.2: EPISODE 11= YUFFIE'S CHOCOBO
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In the far and distant future 
During a big fight,
Guilty Gear fighters are gone away
To a world of stories that bite.
Edgey made a great attack,
They could not even counter-act
Edgey grinned a grin so sly 
She'll brake their brains until they cry.

EVERYONE: "What... The... HELL!!"

EDGEY: "I'll send them cheesy fanfics 
the ones that make you insane" (la la la)
But they like to fight alot,  
so they can take the pain (la la la)
Now keep in mind, 
they can't take control 
to make the fanfics stop 
Fighting is not the answer here 
Even if they want to kill each other

GUILTY ROLL CALL ("Lets Rock!")
Testament ("What the...?")
Millia ("Oh boy!")
Ky Kiske ("I don't like this")
Sooooooooooool ("Go to hell")

If your wondering why Edgey's mean 
and other pointless facts (la la la)
EDGEY  "Shut up and watch the fricken show! 
So sit down and relax"
for Edgey's Theater of Brain Breaking (TWANG)
-------------------------------------------------------------

<Ky is wondering around the lobby.  He has
a sherlock holmes type hat on and a magnifing
glass.  Testament, Millia and Sol watch in
shock.... actually they are more stupified if
anything else.>

MILLIA:  Ky... Ky!!  
KY:  Yes dear Watson?
MILLIA:  My names not Watson!!
KY:  Sorry...
MILLIA:  Why are you doing this!?
KY:  Well.... uh...
TESTAMENT:  Yes!
SOL:  Go on!
KY:  I.... don't.... know....

<Sol and Testament hold Millia back 
from killing Ky>

MILLIA:  Hold me back!  Hold me back!
Kill the boy!!
TESTAMENT:  And I thought my psychotic
episodes are bad!

<Light starts blinking>

SOL:  Edgey's calling

<Testament and Sol release Millia.
Millia falls face first on the ground>

MILLIA:  Owie!

<OBB>
EDGEY:  Hello Hello!

<LOBBY>
EVERYONE:  Hi Edgey...

<OBB>
EDGEY:  Today's fic is quite the stinker!
JUSTICE:  Stinker only describes the title of it.
ZATO:  I'm not going to get into the rest of the
fic!
EVERYONE:  Ooooooh ho ho ho ho!!

<LOBBY>
SOL: My God!  Edgey-lites!
EVERYONE:  We're doomed!

<OBB>
EDGEY:  You damn right! This one made me want
to puke!  That never happened to me since 
"Chibi Usa Looses Her Virginity"

<LOBBY>
MILLIA:  ACK!  We don't have to read that one
do we!?

<OBB>
EDGEY:  Sadly, no... I already used that one.
Still, I'm actually feeling bad for sending this one....
I'm over it!  Send the fic!
EVERYONE:  Oooooh ho ho ho ho!
<Justice sends fic>
EDGEY:  Oh Zato, I have a gift for you after this!
ZATO:  For me.... What is it?
EDGEY:  Surprise, Surprise....
JUSTICE:  What about me?
EDGEY:  Oh shut up!
JUSTICE:  Yes mame.....

<LOBBY>
TESTAMENT: So many Edgeys.... so little sanity...
<Lights and sirens come on>
KY:  Fanfic sign!
SOL:  No shit sherlock!
KY:  ~_~  I hate you Sol!
<Doors open>
<6,  5,  4,  3,  2,  1>
<Walk in the order of Sol, Ky, Millia, and Testament>

>>Yuffie's Chocobo

MILLIA:  Oh my... Yuffie might get animal tendencies again.
SOL:  I don't know.... the title sounds harmless.

>>By: EvlRaichu  aka: Crunchie, Goescrunch

KY:  A.K.A: Bite me!
EVERYONE ELSE:  KY!!
KY:  Sorry....

>>Email:  CrunchieChan@yahoo.com
>>The disclaimer: I do not own the characters in any fashion. 
>>This is a perverted  parody of Final Fantay 7, 

TESTAMENT:  Another one!?  When does it stop!?

>>a cool RPG game for the PSX by 
>>Square. They kick butt.  Buy their games! :) 
>>Also, look at hentai*
>>*Hentai is japanese for pervert, or things of a perverted/erotic nature... 
>>ie: nudes and sexual pics...

TESTAMENT:  Don't forget Sol!  He's the true meaning
of Hentia!
SOL:  And you're the true meaning of yaoi
TESTAMENT:  At least yaoi is loved more then hentai is
SOL:  DAMMIT!!

>>Yuffie was hopping up and down excitedly 

MILLIA:  But hit her head on the ceiling

>>as Cloud and Tifa brought 
>>forth the pretty new chocobo that was to be hers.  
>>"Thank you so much!" 

KY:  And she steals all of their materia.

>>she exclaimed, "This is so nice after all that I've..."  
>>Cloud held up a hand 

TESTAMENT:  (Cloud) Talk to the hand because the face isn't listening!

>>and frowned.  She hung her head, knowing full well he was still a
>>bit pissed from 

MILLIA:  That heavey night of drinking with Cid.

>>all those times she had ripped them off.  She glanced 
>>over at the pretty green chocobo that was standing 
>>by the Highwind.  

SOL:  The Chocobo ran towards her and pecked her eyes out!
MILLIA:  Feeling alittle Dark Mr. Badguy?
SOL:  ....yeah...

>>He looked very regale, calm, and like he could outrun 
>>anything that would ever try to harm him.  

TESTAMENT:  And the next day, Red XIII ate him for lunch.
KY:  Fast runner my ass!

>>She ran over and began to lead him inside.  "C'mon 
>>DrahEm Kcuf, 

KY:  Ha wa?
SOL:  Yuffie IS stupid!
MILLIA:  What kind of name is DrahEm Kcuf?
TESTAMENT:  I named my cat Mittens....
EVERYONE ELSE:  Shut up....

>>time to go to your new room!" she exclaimed.  
>>Tifa shook her head and said, "She certainly is infatuated 
>>with it isn't she?"  

KY:  (Tifa) About as infatuated as Cloud looking at 
my bobalons....
SOL:  They're so pretty and round and perky and...
TESTAMENT:  Can I kill you Sol?

>>Cloud smirked, "Face it, she's been a thief most her life.  

MILLIA:  (Cloud) She just took my pants right now and
I didn't know it.

>>Exactly how many friends do you suppose she has 
>>that would give her something valuable?"  
>>Tifa smiled and nodded, her breasts bouncing jovially 
>>all the while.  

SOL:  Bouncey Bouncey Bouncey.... Tifa go Bounce Bounce Bounce
KY:  Millia!  He's scaring me....
SOL:  (Singing)  Bouncey Bouncey, Shakey Shakey, Wiggle Wiggle
Just alittle.... *SIGH*

>>They then followed her into the Highwind.

MILLIA:  Her breasts?  

>>Later, after a good meal and some drinks, the adults decided to 
>>kick back for some rest.  Tifa snatched Clouds hand and drug him away to 
>>some dark corner of the ship, 

SOL:  She beat Cloud up for his lunch money.
KY:  (Cloud) Eeeek!  Don't take my chocolate milk!!

>>Yuffie vanished off with several crew 
>>members and Barrett, Vincent departed to his room to 
>>"meditate" alone, 

SOL:  Oh... "meditate"... with who?  Sephiroth!?
MILLIA:  It's yaoiful!

>>and Cid was left by himself at the table. 

TESTAMENT:  He still had his beer!

>>He looked around at the empty 
>>seats and realized just how lonely he was.  
>>He stood and walked over to a 
>>window to watch the great expanse of land below them flying by.  
>>The world, he thought, 

MILLIA:  (Cid) What a crappy place

>>the entire world was just flying by, and he was 
>>alone....  He sighed and concentrated on the world below him, trying to 
>>become one with it.  

TESTAMENT:  (Terry Bogard) I must become one with mother earth!!
<Starts doing the stance and sound effects>
MILLIA:  O_O  Testament.... PLEASE sit down!!
TESTAMENT: .....sorry...

>>Movement caught his eye.  Below was a small group of 
>>chocobos running.  He then felt this strange feeling course through him.  

SOL:  So he jumped off the Highwind nude and started running with
the Chocobos.  

<Doors open>
KY:  We must fly.... FLY!  With the Chocobos!
<1,  2,  3,  4,  5,  6>

<Sol is wandering around the room with a Chocobo 
whistle>

SOL:  Here Choco, Choco.... HEEEEEEEEEERE Choco, Choco
MILLIA:  Sol.... what are you doing?
SOL:  I'm trying to catch a Chocobo Final Fantasy 8 style
KY:  Where did you get the whistle?
SOL:  Testament sold it to me for Fifty bucks
MILLIA:  That was the toy in the cereal box this
morning.
SOL: HEY!
TESTAMENT:  Heeee he he he he!
<light starts blinking>
MILLIA: Edgey's calling

<OBB>
EDGEY:  I'm very VERY sorry about this fic.

<LOBBY>
SOL:  What's so wrong with it?
MILLIA:  Yeah!  It seems harmless

<OBB>
ZATO:  Wait.... you haven't gotten... THAT far
yet have you?

<LOBBY>
EVERYONE:  No....

<OBB>
JUSTICE:  You haven't scene ANYTHING bad yet?

<LOBBY>
EVERYONE:  No....

<OBB>
EDGEY:  I take the apology back!

<LOBBY>
EVERYONE:  HEY!!
<lights and sirens come on>
EVERYONE:  FANFIC SIGN!
SOL:  I want my money!
TESTAMENT:  Tuff hooey!!
<Doors open>
<6,  5,  4,  3,  2, 1>
<Walk in the order of Sol, Ky, Millia Testament>

SOL:  I still want my money

>>He felt suddenly a sort of kinship to these beasts of burden.  

KY:  (Cid) Hark!  I shall run naked with the chocobos
MILLIA:  Stop please!  That's a scary invisionment.

>>He then remembered Yuffie's chocobo, DrahEm Kcuf.  

TESTAMENT:  Or simply known as Bob.

>>He turned and left for the stable.

MILLIA: ....Waaaaaaaaaait a second....
TESTAMENT:  You don't think....
SOL:  Cid is going to.....
KY:  HELP ME LORD!!!
<Ky immediatly starts to pray>
MILLIA:  Now, now,  we don't know for sure
SOL:  It DID say Yuffie's chocobo in the title.
TESTAMENT:  It's probably just a badly written
sequence where Cid tries to talk to the chocobo and
gets his eyes torn out.
KY: (gets up) 'kay....

>>He entered the stable and stared long and hard 
>>at the pretty green chocobo.  

EVERYONE: (trance)  Pretty....

>>It was curled up and sleeping, a sweet and innocent expression 
>>on it's feathered face.  Cid quietly stepped nearer it so as to get a 
>>better view of it.  

SOL:  And then he grabbed a rock and crushed his head!
TESTAMENT:  O_O  <Breaks into tears>
KY:  Why did you say that!?
SOL:  Just to make Testament cry
TESTAMENT:  It worked!  <Breaks down again>

>>He then felt a stirring within, and warmth spreading 
>>through him.  

MILLIA:  It turned out to be heart burn.

>>His face was beginning to burn, 

TESTAMENT: <stops crying> and he immediately spontainiously
combusted.

>>and he couldn't resist the urge to step over and touch it 
>>lightly on it's head.  

SOL:  Whoa!  Hey! Cid!  Don't masterbate in front of
the Chocobo!
MILLIA:  I don't get how you got that out of that sentence
SOL:  Read!
<Everyone else reads over it>
EVERYONE ELSE:  Ooooooooooh.... FUNNY!!

>>DrahEm Kcuf's head 
>>jerked up and he chirped softly.  Cid jumped ever so 
>>slightly, he hadn't meant to wake it.  
>>He then stroked it's head once more.  It nuzzled his 
>>hand and warbled neath it's breath.  
>>Ever so slightly Cid's breathing increased, and his heart rate rose.  

SOL:  And he had a heart attack.

>>"Such a pretty chocobo," he muttered 
>>quietly.  

SOL: (Cid) It would make such a pretty throw rug.
TESTAMENT:  Sol.... you would make such a wonderful
punching bag IF YOU DON'T SHUT THE HELL UP!!
SOL:  I'll be behave.

>>He stood up and moved over to where the supplies were on the 
>>wall.  He took down a muzzle, one that was normally 
>>reserved for wild and noisy chocobo, and gently placed 
>>it on DrahEm Kcuf's beak.  

EVERYONE:  NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
SOL:  Ky.... you can pray to God to save all of out souls.
This one is going to be rough.

>>He fastened it tightly behind the chocobo's head.  
>>A lil too tight, for the poor things eyes misted with 
>>tears for a moment.  

<Testament breaks into tears>
TESTAMENT:  Choco!!!

>>It stood and looked to Cid.  
>>He stared back at the chocobo for a moment, 
>>rubbing his abdomen and thinking to himself, 
>>his thoughts all jumbled into nothing but noise now.  
>>He began swaying and humming.  

MILLIA:  If only he would sway and hum off of the
Highwind!!

>>A moment passed, and he turned and pulled 
>>out straps meant for restraining incredibly 
>>violent chocobo.  He then 
>>went to work restraining DrahEm Kcuf.
>>Finally it stood there, unable to move or cry out.  
>>It looked over to Cid nervously.  

KY:  Is there any chance Sephiroth is going
to go and kill Cid right now.  Tell me
Sephiroth is going to go and kill Cid.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!!

>>Cid was now drooling ever so slightly and rubbing his 
>>crotch.  

EVERYONE:  AIIIEEE!!

>>"Lonely," he mumbled, "I'm lonely pretty boy, are you lonely 
>>too?"  

SOL:  How the hell can he answer you when you have a 
muzzle over his mouth!?

>>Cid unbuttoned his pants with his right hand while his left 
>>continued it's stroking.  

EVERYONE:  DAMN YOU EDGEY!!!

>>He then slid them off onto the floor.  He stood 
>>behind the chocobo and ran his fingers through it's lovely green 
>>feathers.  He snatched a handful of feathers in his left hand and pulled 
>>a bit.  The chocobo tried to squawk, and at that time his right hand lead 
>>his meaty cock into it's rear.  

EVERYONE: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
<Testament breaks into tears>
SOL:  This is worser then Yuffie and Red XIII

>>It's eyes widened in fear and it's face 
>>contorted in pain.  It shivered as Cid's shaft tore into it's rectum.  

MILLIA:  It's a snuff fic..... Edgey gave us a snuff fic....
TESTAMENT:  Thou shalt cover thine virgin eyes.
<everyone covers their eyes>

5 MINUTES LATER

SOL:  I think it's safe now
<They uncover their eyes>

>>Cid breathed a sigh of relief and slumped against 
>>the chocobo which fell immediately into a faint.  

TESTAMENT:  I would too if I got rammed like a train!!

>>After a moment he wiped 
>>down, and removed all the restraints from the chocobo.  
>>He dressed and went back to the dining area to take a nap.  

KY:  Oh I get it, look natural.

>>Yuffie's scream brought everyone else running.  

MILLIA:  (Yuffie) I'M IN A HORRIBLE SNUFF FANFIC AND NO ONE
CARES!  NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
SOL:  We hate Yuffie but.... COME ON PEOPLE!!!

>>The chocobo had come half awake and was dragging 
>>itself across the floor to her.  Blood 
>>was still leaking out from behind it, and it's intestines were poking 
>>out.  

<Everyone one pukes>
TESTAMENT:  I'm glad I missed what was going on!!

>>Cloud clamped a hand over his mouth in shock.  
>>Tifa 

SOL:  The only ray of sunshine in this fic.  *sigh*
Gotta love those headlights.
KY:  I'd smack you but I'm feeling rather sick right
now.  *urp*

>>grabbed Yuffie and they turned away.  Yuffie was shaking, 
>>apparently in shock.  

MILLIA:  As what we are doing right.... NOW
<Everyone starts shaking>

>>Barrett stood gaping, then yelled, "What the hell happened?!"  
>>Cloud shook his head, unable to fathom a reply.  

TESTAMENT:  (Cloud) It wasn't me!  I was with Tifa doing....
uh.... well.... stuff.... yeah that's it!  Stuff!

>>Vincent leaned against the doorway, an 
>>odd expression on his face.  'What's that smell?' 
>>he thought to himself, 
>>'It smells like..'  

MILLIA:  Teen spirit
SOL:  BAD JOKE!  BAD JOKE!
MILLIA:  I'm trying Sol.... Oh I'm trying.
KY:  It's understandable
TESTAMENT:  At least I got a bash Cloud comment in.
SOL:  Amen to that.  

>>He then shook his head and scanned the room quickly.  
>>Some of the blood seemed to be mixed with an odd whitish substance.  

SOL:  Also known as semen
KY:  (Seaman)  It's SEA-MAN!!

>>He shook his head and quietly left the room.  

TESTAMENT:  And some how got out of the fic
EVERYONE:  Lucky bastard.

>>He followed the sound of Cid's snoring.  
>>He could still hear Yuffie's hysteric sobs, 
>>and the sympathetic cries coming from Tifa.  
>>He could also hear Clouds kind words, and 
>>Barrett explaining that it was dying and would 
>>need to be put down.  

MILLIA:  Ah yes, kind words from Barret.
SOL:  (Barret) You're Chocobo's doomed, I'm shotting
his green ass up.

>>Finally, Vincent entered the dining area.  

KY:  And why he would want to eat after that is
beyond me.

>>Cid was curled up under the 
>>table with the most blissful and 
>>peaceful smile upon his face.  

SOL:  Then I come into the fic and hit Cid
over the head with a really heavey rock.
KY:  Then I come in to make sure he's dead!!
MILLIA:  I like this dark attitude!
TESTAMENT:  Fun, fun, fun!

>>He looked nothing like the Cid they usually saw.  

MILLIA:  You know, drunk, smoking.... NOT SCREWING
POOR DEFENCLESS CHOCOBOS!!!!
SOL:  I sense hostility!
TESTAMENT:  Spider sense.... tingling
KY:  I sense danger.

>>He could have been an innocent angel.  

MILLIA:  But I wouldn't mind shooting that
angel out of the sky!!
<Everyone else edges away from Millia>

>>Vincent then smelled a familiar scent again,

TESTAMENT:  Extremly sour lemon.
 
>>this time it was blood.  
>>He smelled the chocobo's blood, 
>>and it's source was Cid........

KY:  And then Vincent screams like a girl because
he realized that Cid boffed the poor Chocobo, hits
him over the head with a heavey rock and makes
sure he's dead by throwing him out of an airlock.
MILLIA:  Now that's a happy ending.

<Doors open>
<1,  2,  3,  4,  5,  6>

<Everyone is in the lobby holding "Save the
Chocobos or Die" signs.  Everyone is (understandably)
hostile at this point>

SOL:  What the hell was that!?
KY:  I've been tramatized for life!
MILLIA: .....Kill.... Cid..... slowly.... painfully....
TESTAMENT:  Now we work for a cause!
EVERYONE:  SAVE THE CHOCOBOS OR DIE!!

<Long pause of silence>

KY:  So.... anyone did advertising for our
cause?

<Silence>

SOL:  I knew I forgot to do something.

<Everyone throws their signs down>

EVERYONE:  DAMMIT!!
<Light starts blinking>
TESTAMENT:  Damn you Edgey!!!

<OBB>
EDGEY:  I see you watch the.... ugh... fic...

<LOBBY>
EVERYONE:  Hell yeah we did and we're not happy!!

<OBB>
EDGEY:  So you won't forgive me?

<LOBBY>
EVERYONE:  NO!!

<OBB>
EDGEY:  I got toys!
<Shows a pile of toys in the background>

<LOBBY>
EVERYONE:  We love you Edgey!!

<OBB>
EDGEY:  Good!  Ooooh ho ho ho ho!
ZATO:  So.... what's my suprise?
EDGEY:  Oh you'll see!
JUSTICE:  How come you gave everyone a present
but me!!!
EDGEY:  .....Grrrrr...
<Justice disappears>
ZATO:  Where did he go?
EDGEY:  Too see the part of the fic they didn't watch.

<LOBBY>
EVERYONE:  Ouch.... there's a mess

<OBB>
EDGEY:  Anyways, here is you're gift Zato.
<Opens the curtain>
EDGEY:  It's....
ZATO:  VENOM!!!
VENOM:  The hell is this place.... <sees Zato>
Where the hell were YOU!!!
ZATO:  Ummm... I can explain...
VENOM:  Do you know how hard it is to keep a
bunch of assassins in line!  DO YOU!!
<Starts hitting Zato over the head with 
a rod>
ZATO:  I'm..
*CRACK*
ZATO:  Very...
*CRACK*
ZATO:  Sorry!!!
*CRACK*

<LOBBY>
MILLIA:  It's almost like their married

<Justice's screams of pain are heard loud and clear
in the background>

The End.... for now

STINGER: **he couldn't resist the urge to step over and touch it 
lightly on it's head**