MSTing by Edgey This is all in good fun This is not to insult the author Don't take this personally ^_^ All of these are all copyrighted to their respectable owners. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- GUILTY VERSION 2.2: EPISODE 9= MATERIA: AFTERMATH --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- In the far and distant future During a big fight, Guilty Gear fighters are gone away To a world of stories that bite. Edgey made a great attack, They could not even counter-act Edgey grinned a grin so sly She'll brake their brains until they cry. EVERYONE: "What... The... HELL!!" EDGEY: "I'll send them cheesy fanfics the ones that make you insane" (la la la) But they like to fight alot, so they can take the pain (la la la) Now keep in mind, they can't take control to make the fanfics stop Fighting is not the answer here Even if they want to kill each other GUILTY ROLL CALL ("Lets Rock!") Testament ("What the...?") Millia ("Oh boy!") Ky Kiske ("I don't like this") Sooooooooooool ("Go to hell") If your wondering why Edgey's mean and other pointless facts (la la la) EDGEY "Shut up and watch the fricken show! So sit down and relax" for Edgey's Theater of Brain Breaking (TWANG) ------------------------------------------------------------- (Testament is laughing mechanically. Everyone else is shaking their heads in disapproval.) TESTAMENT: AAAAAA HA HA HA HA!! MILLIA: Testament TESTAMENT: What? MILLIA: Your and idiot TESTAMENT: HEY! SOL: It's true. KY: Just because this is the last chapter to this series of a fic, doesn't mean we'll be set free. EDGEY: Tis true, tis true. The worst part is, I'm not giving you guys sanity breaks between this one EVERYONE: NOoooooooooooo!!! JUSTICE: Can I destroy the world yet? EDGEY: .......DIE!! JUSTICE: Eeeek! Mercy! TESTAMENT: The hell.... I actually tried to get this wuss ressurected. JUSTICE: You would be like this too if you were threatened to the bad fics you people have to watch. SOL: He has a point EDGEY: Zato ZATO: (sarcastically) Yes Oh Enlightened one. EDGEY: You have to watch the fic with them. ZATO: WHAT!!! EDGEY: Zatoooooo..... ZATO: .....fine.....(shit) (Zato appears. Millia and Zato see eachother) MILLIA: FEEL MY WRATH! ZATO: KNOW MY HATE!!! (fight insumes) EDGEY: Ah poopie, better send the fic (fight is still in motion) (lights and sirens come one) EVERYONE BUT ZATO: We have fanfic sign ZATO: Fanfic what? <6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1> (Walk in the Theater in the order of Sol, Ky, Millia, Testament, and Zato) KY: Welcome to hell. ZATO: Shut up! >>FINAL FANTASY VII >>Chapter Nine: Aftermath TESTAMENT: Yes! Dr. Dre has come to save us! KY: Ummm... Testament, that's not a line in a Dre song. It's the title of this crap fic. TESTAMENT: DAMMIT!!!! >>*** MILLIA: Red Rover, Red Rover, I call that butt head Zato over. ZATO: HEY! KY: (Singing) Can you feel the hate tonight! SOL: Ky KY: Yes SOL: I hope you choke. KY: And I hope you (whispers in Sol's ear) SOL: O_O TESTAMENT: And I have no enemies EVERYONE: SHUT UP!! TESTAMENT: ;_; >>Sephiroth was no more. ZATO: He managed to leave his fic when he could. >>Cloud's team watched from the Highwind >>as Meteor's winds of fury tore apart the >>Mako Reactors of Midgar. KY: (Cloud) Pretty Mako mushroom cloud. SOL: Can you feel the eyes just melt? *sigh* >>They also looked on as the Lifestream >>helped Holy destroy Meteor. TESTAMENT: Holy goes for the pin EVERYONE: One......Two.....Th ZATO: Kick out!!! EVERYONE: Booooooooooo!! >>All was peaceful now. MILLIA: WAIT! Didn't they just watch Holy and Lifestream fight meteor. Then it ends just like that!? ZATO: Meteor kicked out too! >>Midgar had been the root of Shinra's evil. >>Now that evil was gone. MILLIA: And? TESTAMENT: Finish the damn sentence!!! >>As Cloud watched on, SOL: He wished he could engage in some kinky yaoi sex with Vincent. ZATO: WHAT? O_O TESTAMENT: Sol's always like this. >>he could almost sense her nearby. EVERYONE: Who? >>He swore he could hear her whisper to him. EVERYONE: WHO!? >>She said, "Goodbye, my friends." KY: Okay....who is it? SOL: Tifa go bouncey bouncey? MILLIA: Hentai.... >>Her soul had finally been absorbed into >>the Lifestream, waiting to be born again. ZATO: I think it's Aeris EVERYONE: Oooooooooooooh!! >>Tifa walked up to Cloud. TESTAMENT: And punched him in the face. >>She too had heard the voice. ZATO: It told her to kill KILLLLLLLLLLLLL!!! >>"Cloud," she asked, SOL: (Tifa) Are you stupid MILLIA: (Tifa) Are you really a Chocobo head? KY: (Tifa) Is it true about you and Sephiroth doing the nasty in a full elevator TESTAMENT: (Tifa) Why do you go to the morge everyday? ZATO: I don't want to know. >>"was that Aeris?" SOL: (Aeris) No. >>"Yes," answered Cloud. SOL: (Aeris) I said it wasn't you idiots! >>"She's gone forever now. But her soul will >>be reborn someday." KY: And he makes it sound like it's a good thing that innocent little Aeris got speared my a fricken Masamune! SOL: And Cloud... (Millia and Testament turn pale. Zato is very confused.) >>Cid flew the Highwind around the world as fast he could, ZATO: He wanted to see how many beer stores he can find in that time span. >>allowing everyone on board to enjoy the ride. MILLIA: And then it crashed on Zato, The End. ZATO: HEY! TESTAMENT: The sooner the fic ends the better. ZATO: True....but still!! >>He had forgotten about Yuffie's motion sickness. SOL: And she harfed all over Vincent's exspensive cape. >>They had all forgotten about her. KY: I'd forget about Yuffie. ZATO: All of us would. >>Only Red XIII remembered her condition. EVERYONE BUT ZATO: Oh no! No no no! ZATO: What? He's just concerned. TESTAMENT: O_O Yuffie and Red XIII boffed in the first chapter and this might be a Hentai trigger. ZATO: ......NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! >>He alone wandered down into the bowels of the airship. SOL: And gave it massive diarreha. Get it! Bowels! MILLIA: That's sick. >>Inside he found Yuffie, lying down sick. >>The ninja smiled as the red dog walked over to her. TESTAMENT: Haltezine! For the love of all that's walking on this earth (escept for Hojo) Don't Show them have SEX!! >>"How are you feeling?" asked the compassionate Red XIII. KY: (Yuffie) Other then the fact I'm puking all over the whole ship, I feel great!! >>"Not too good," said Yuffie. >>"Is there anything I can do to help you?" >>asked the canine. "Anything at all?" ZATO: How about jumping off of the Highwind. >>His hints did not go undetected by the cunning ninja. EVERYONE: O_O Nooooo! >>"Well, I don't know. What do you have to >>offer?" she asked openly. SOL: A new car! MILLIA: Sol SOL: Yes? MILLIA: That riff sucked. SOL: ....well.....phooey on you! >>Red XIII rubbed his nose against Yuffie's crotch. (Zato imedeatly barfs in the corner) KY: I forgot, new-be. >>She wet herself EVERYONE: GET A TOILET! >>with her own juices as she became aroused. >>"Does that help any?" asked Red. TESTAMENT: Not only did she puke all over the place, but she left a puddle as well! Now I know why everyone forgot about Yuffie! >>"Yes, it does," remarked Yuffie. >>"What else can you do?" ZATO: Lets see if Red can breathe under water. MILLIA: I sense hostility. >>"Get up on all fours, just like me. MILLIA: Doing it Doggy style! TESTAMENT: Bow wow wow! Yippee Yo! Yippee Yay! Bow wow ow Yippee Yo! ZATO: (Very Pale and barfs again) I HATE YOU GUYS! MILLIA: Oh how I torture him so! >>It will help you fell better," lied Red. KY: While it makes us very sick >>Yuffie knew he was joking, SOL: (Yuffie) He made a funny >>but she got up and sat on all fours. >>"Like this?" she asked. SOL: (Red XIII) Great! Now run as fast as you can into the wall.... Good! >>The fast airship still made her queasy, >>but she did start to feel slightly better. TESTAMENT: And then she pukes DOH! >>"Perfect," whispered Red into her ear. >>He used his front paws to pull down her >>shorts and underlying garments. KY: And yet another invigorating scene of things undressing. EVERYONE: Wow! >>Red XIII then mounted Yuffie, sinking his >>penis deep into her. ZATO: O_O TESTAMENT: That was.....harsh....ugh SOL: HAVE YOU NO DECENCEY! >>"Ooh... I feel much better now..." MILLIA: And you made us feeling like peices of crap on a hot summers day in the middle of a dessert! >>said Yuffie as her juices began to drip >>from her wet pussy. >>The airship flew at high speeds for half an hour >>as Yuffie lay on all fours, being fucked by Red XIII. (Everyone starts cursing themselves for eating breakfest) >>Soon, the ship began to slow down, KY: And crashed! The end! >>and the Red withdrew from Yuffie after >>having ejected much of his semen into her. >>Yuffie put her shorts back on to cover her soaked vagina. ZATO: But wouldn't it have soaked through then? I'm confused! >>They two walked separately up the stairs to the >> main deck, where the others were waiting. SOL: Apparently they forgot Cid has security cameras all over the place. >>"Well," said Cid, "our mission's over now. >>Where's everyone headed?" TESTAMENT: Away from this fic. >>Cait Sith spoke first. "I should return to Midgar. >>All those people are going to need help now after Meteor." MILLIA: Too bad Cait Sith is useless! >>Barret had to find Marlene too. ZATO: (Dr. Evil) Someone put a fricken bell on her! >>"I'll go back with Cait Sith. >>I need to find Marlene, and >>I'll help this damn cat >>with the rest of Midgar, too. After all that's >>done, I should get back to North Corel." SOL: (Barret) And get drunk! >>"Count me in," added Vincent. >>"I was once a Turk. I should help these people. >>They're going to need all the assistance they can get now." MILLIA: Wow, Vincent talks in choppy sentence structure. He must sound like a robot. >>"As the last member of Shinra left, >>I think it's time I made up for all our atrocities," KY: Hold up! Didn't the Turks escaped? ZATO: They just love confusing us. >>said Cait Sith. "Thank you, both of you." >>Cid flew to Midgar to drop off Barret, Vincent, >>and Cait Sith. If not friends at least the two >>left not as bitter enemies. SOL: and yet they still enjoy beating the tar out of each other. >>"Where to next?" asked Cid. >>Yuffie started feeling a bit queasy again. ZATO: (Yuffie) I just had sex with an animal!! >> She just wanted to get off the airship and go home. >>"Take me back to Wutai." TESTAMENT: And she imediatly files a restraining order against Red. >>Cid flew and landed the Highwind at Wutai. >>Yuffie left. EVERYONE: YAY!! >>Cid was about to take off again when he was stopped by a request. >>"I'd like to stay here too. I want to learn more about the >>Water God," said the furry creature. KY: Excuses! ZATO: You want Yuffie! MILLIA: Well guess what! You can have Yuffie! >>"This is one place I cannot learn about back at Cosmo Canyon." >>Cid had no problem. "Okay, Red. You and Yuffie take good >care of each other, now!" Red XIII disembarked, and the Highwind >>took off again. >>Only Cid, Cloud, and Tifa remained. SOL: And they have a threesome! TESTAMENT: Haltenzine! SOL: But it was funny... TESTAMENT: Grrrrrrr SOL: Behaving >>"Well, you two? Where do you want to go? >>Nibelheim?" MILLIA: (Cid) Honey Bee Inn? >>Cloud and Tifa whispered between themselves for awhile. ZATO: (Cloud) Honey Bee Inn sounds good. KY: (Tifa) So you can be stuck in the room with all of the men? TESTAMENT: O_O That's low! SOL: Jealous? TESTAMENT: HEY! >>Tifa remembered the house Cloud had bought. MILLIA: It was home to many cockroaches and rats. >>"Take us to Costa del Sol. We could use the break." SOL: Or at least boff for the rest of this fic. >>Cid obliged, flying the two to Cloud's Villa >>in Costa del Sol. They said their good-byes, TESTAMENT: (Cid) And good riddance! >>and Cid flew the Highwind back to Rocket Town, >>where a very special lady was waiting for him. KY: I am Sheeeeeeeeeeeeee-raaaaaaaaaa!! ZATO: Wrong Shera. >>Cloud and Tifa entered their beach resort. MILLIA: And a title wave came and killed them all. SOL: Got Dark? >>Cloud felt dirty after his long and difficult journey. >>"I'm going to go take a shower," he announced. TESTAMENT: (Cloud) As chairman of the board, I announce that I Cloud the Chocobo head is going to take a shower. Hint, hint Tifa. Shower.... naked.... Hentai trigger. ZATO: (Tifa) Oh bite me. >>He left her and entered the bathroom. TESTAMENT: (Cloud) Hint hint!! >>Tifa took that as a hint. ZATO: (Tifa) I'm smart. >>"I'll be joining you, Cloud," she said to herself. >>She waited for five minutes, thinking private thoughts. KY: (Tifa) First I'll grab the knife and then I'll kill him.... Psycho style. >>Her pussy was worked up by the time she entered the bathroom. MILLIA: Yipes! I'd hate to be in the room with that cat, especially if it was not declawed! >>She stripped herself and threw the clothes on top of Cloud's. >>"Is someone there?" asked the ignorant Cloud. SOL: (Cloud) Sephiroth? Is that you? Babe! I missed you! KY: (Cloud) Aeris! You came back to life! I knew you would after I boffed your dead body! ZATO: (Cloud) Vincent? Come on! It has to be you! You told me you loved me! MILLIA: (Cloud) Testament baby! I knew you loved me! Come on in! SOL: (Testament) Cloud loves me!! TESTAMENT: I would rather bathe in Javex bleach then run in the shower with Clod!! >>Neither Tifa nor Cloud said a word as she >>entered the shower. She looked down at >>Cloud's genitals, ZATO: And boy was she disappointed! >>which instantly grew and rose as he saw her naked. SOL: (Cloud) Duuuuuh, naked girl. >>The two advanced closer and closer, MILLIA: And ran into each other! DOH! >>until they were standing and touching >>each other at the same time, MILLIA: Or they ran into each other! >>his penis in her vagina as their juices flew about in sexual ecstasy... >>* * * ZATO: Eeew! Cloud just messed up the screen! TESTAMENT: Ah! He's a premature.... you know. >>Cid arrived with all the guests on the Highwind. SOL: Wait.... they cut that sex scene short while Red XIII and Yuffie's was long!? I feel ripped off! >>It was a small ceremony, but still grand nonetheless. >>Red XIII had prepared the people of Cosmo Canyon for the event, >>and everyone gladly chipped in to be a part. >>After all, these two had helped save the Planet. MILLIA: Earth! SOL: Fire! KY: Wind! TESTAMENT: Water! ZATO: Heart! EVERYONE: Goooooooooo Planet! >>Red ran SOL: Into a wall. >>around in his oddly shaped tuxedo, making sure >>everything was perfect. Knowing full well who >> was inside, he entered the room of the bride's maid. ZATO: Waaaaaaaait! Don't do this to us again! >>She quickly ran to the door and locked it. KY: Waaaaaaaaait! Red XIII is a "he" right? >>There was still another hour before Cloud a >>nd Tifa would get married, and Red XIII and Yuffie >>had some time to kill, so... ZATO: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!! (faints) >>Marlene was the flower girl at this wedding. MILLIA: Well damn, they didn't show it. SOL: A blessing really. KY: Zato fainted for nothing. TESTAMENT: (Looks at Zato and pokes him) He's down. >>She clearly remembered the other flower girl, >>the one who had sacrificed herself for the Planet. TESTAMENT: Sephiroth? KY: Aeris you ass! TESTAMENT: OOooooo! Ky has a soft spot for Aeris. KY: Don't you? TESTAMENT: I like the villians more so bite me! >>Barret was reminded of his lost wife as he >>stood on the altar with Cloud and Tifa. SOL: Remembering he had sex with Tifa as well. (Testament pokes at Zato again) >>Vincent remembered all the love he had lost during his life. >>Cait Sith and Reeve, one man pretending to be two, >> stood side by side, regretting the love they never had >>as part of the evil Shinra. MILLIA: But Rufus found lo.... wait Scarlet his just his personal hoe. Never mind. >>Cid and Shera came to the wedding together. >>Their love was new, but precious as well. KY: Cid got into the wine again. >>Yuffie stood by Tifa. The young ninja knew >>she could never celebrate her love in such >>an eloquent fashion like this. TESTAMENT: So she and Red went to Vegas and got married! >>Red, the usher, was generally happy for everyone. >>It had been almost a year since that time. >>Cloud and Tifa were married that day. EVERYONE: Aawwwwwwwwwwwww! >>They spent their honeymoon in a beautiful >>snowy land up north, MILLIA: And an avalache happened, they died. The End. >>where they had and needed nothing but each other. >>They then moved back to their home in Costa del Sol. >>* * * TESTAMENT: Cloud missed another spot. >>Almost another full year passed. KY: I'm getting dizzy! Timeline to timeline! >>The members of that fateful group met up once >>again at Cloud's Villa in Costa del Sol. SOL: And they had the most kinkyest.. TESTAMENT: Haltenzine!! SOL: Umm....game of Monopoly ever! >>All but Cloud and Tifa waited together in >>suspense outside a small room. Cloud walked out >>the door first. He told them it had been a success. MILLIA: (Cloud) I managed to do brain surgery with a spoon and a butter knife! >>Everyone entered the small room, where Tifa was >>holding their new child. It was a girl. >>Everyone looked at the baby. EVERYONE: Pretty! >>Though nobody said it, there was something >>awfully familiar about this baby girl. KY: She had the most god awful blonde spikey hairdo on earth. Much like Cloud >>Her shining green eyes seemed to resemble those >>of someone from the past. But that couldn't be, >>or could it? Lifestream... (Everyone starts humming Aeris' theme) >>* * * SOL: JEEZ CLOUD! USE PAPER TOWELS! >>And so ends Final Fantasy VII. EVERYONE: (blandly) Yaaaaay. >>I personally believe Square's ending to be inadequate, >>as the characters' issues were left unresolved. TESTAMENT: But Yuffie and Red XIII was just wrong! Look at poor Zato!! (Pokes at him) SEE! >>Of course, the players themselves may have been >>insignificant compared to the Planet, but they >>were not useless pawns. EVERYONE: Oh yes they were. >>What ever happened to the great (yet admittedly cheesy) >>ending style found in Final Fantasy IV? EVERYONE: BLASPHEMER!! MILLIA: Cheesy? SQUARE SOFT!! >>Comments may be e-mailed to sailor_terra@hotbot.com KY: Thank you for finishing the fic. (Testament flings Zato over his shoulder) <1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6> SOL: Hey Edgey! EDGEY! (OBB) EDGEY: What? Finished? Insane yet? (LOBBY) KY: Actually, Zato went nuts. Look! (Zato is in the corner twitching) ZATO: (Resembles angry ginea pig) Er er er er er er er er er! (OBB) EDGEY: CRAP! I broke my own people! (LOBBY) MILLIA: We go free now right? (OBB) EDGEY: NO! It's your fault! Not mine! I didn't make him watch the fic! JUSTICE: Yes you... EDGEY: No I didn't! JUSTICE: Yes scary lady. (LOBBY) TESTAMENT: I'm mad! It's your fault Zato! (Testament kicks him over. Zato is still making angry ginea pig noises) TESTAMENT: Aaaaaaaarrrrrrraaaaaaaaaghhhhh!! The End.... for now STINGER: **Midgar had been the root of Shinra's evil. Now that evil was gone.**