MSTing by Edgey This is all in good fun This is not to insult the author Don't take this personally ^_^ All of these are all copyrighted to their respectable owners. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- GUILTY VERSION 2.2: EPISODE 7= MATERIA: THE FIRST MAN IN SPACE --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- In the far and distant future During a big fight, Guilty Gear fighters are gone away To a world of stories that bite. Edgey made a great attack, They could not even counter-act Edgey grinned a grin so sly She'll brake their brains until they cry. EVERYONE: "What the HELL!!" EDGEY: "I'll send them cheesy fanfics the ones that make you insane" (la la la) But they like to fight alot, so they can take the pain (la la la) Now keep in mind, they can't take control to make the fanfics stop Fighting is not the answer here Even if they want to kill each other GUILTY ROLL CALL ("Lets Rock!") Testament ("What the...?") Millia ("Oh boy!") Ky Kiske ("I don't like this") Sooooooooooool ("Go to hell") If your wondering why Edgey's mean and other pointless facts (la la la) EDGEY "Shut up and watch the fricken show! So sit down and relax" for Edgey's Theater of Brain Breaking (TWANG) ------------------------------------------------------------- MILLIA: I don't get you Sol. TESTAMENT: And you said I was weird for wearing a skirt!! KY: Sad.... SOL: But Edgey said... [OBB] EDGEY: Don't bring me into your stupid pass time. All I said was the next fic was called "The First Man in Space" [LOBBY] SOL: I thought I would get into the spirit of things. You know....brighten things up. TESTAMENT: I thought the last fic got me down. Jeez! [OBB] EDGEY: Look....This is the third last fic of this damn series! After that....I just might me nice and let you go. (under her breathe) Yeah....right.... [LOBBY] KY: We got fanfic sign!!! <6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1> MILLIA: Take that stupid helmet off! SOL: Sorry. >>FINAL FANTASY VII >>Chapter Seven: The First Man in Space SOL: That's me! TESTAMENT: A true space cadet! IfyouknowwhatImean! SOL: .......HEY! >>* * * KY: Ice skaters! Wheeeeeeeee! >>Cid Highwind TESTAMENT: Was drunk out of his mind. >>watched hopelessly from the escape pod >>of Shinra No. 26, his pride and joy KY: Beer? TESTAMENT: Cigarrettes? >>of his job in Shinra's failed Space Program. EVERYONE: Oh! >>The rocket had blown Meteor apart, but >>that wasn't enough. Meteor quickly reformed >>as the escape pod fell back to the Planet. SOL: So in other words, they screwed up big time. >>Cid now thought about his career. MILLIA: Cid had a career.....and he's thinking about it NOW!! >>Many years ago, KY: He got drunk. TESTAMENT: No no no! That is now! >>a short fat man named SOL: ACK! It's the kid from Akira! >>Palmer SOL: False alarm. >>had asked him to be the pilot of Shinra 26, >>an experimental rocket that would be used >>to finally propel man into space. MILLIA: Or at least blow up when it gets into space TESTAMENT: Feeling dark? >>The day of the launch had come. >>Shera, TESTAMENT: For the hounor of Greyskull! I am SHE-RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!! KY: Wrong Shera SOL: Then again the mini-skirt would suit you. TESTAMENT: ........are you hitting on me? SOL: O_O WHAT!! MILLIA: You did set yourself up for that one Sol. SOL: DAMMIT! >>Cid's technical assistant, had insisted on >>sacrificing herself to fix Oxygen Tank 8. KY: A true Shera-ism MILLIA: (Cid) I'm sure it would hold....AHHHHHHHHHHH!!! >>Cid thought she was being paranoid SOL: Another Shera-ism TESTAMENT: Not to mention Cid-ism >>but was forced to abort the launch in >>order to save her life. MILLIA: Techinical assistants are at it again, to screw over the poor costumer. *tisk* >>Now that they were in space, TESTAMENT: Or at least Cid was, he was really drunk. >>Cid had just learned that Tank 8 really was malfunctioning. SOL: Only because it blew up in his face! >>Shera was right all along. MILLIA: A Techincal assistant...right!? EVERYONE: Noooooo! >>He felt humiliated at his critical mistakes >>as a pilot. KY: So he drowns out his sarrows. >>He had hurried the first launch. >>Cid sat in the pod with his assistant. >>Cloud and the others were sleeping soundly in the >>locked chamber next door as the escape pod was pulled >>slowly to the earth by the force of gravity. TESTAMENT: Waaaiit!! I thought that was a one room escape pod. I'm confused! >>Cid regretted rushing the launch that day so long ago. >>He should have trusted Shera, but he didn't. >>He was angry at himself. >>"Damn!" cried Cid in distress. MILLIA: (Cid) I'm talking to myself again! >>Shera was alarmed by Cid's cursing. "Captain? KY: WE DON'T HAVE THE POWER!! >>What's wrong?" >>"There's nothing wrong with me!" TESTAMENT: He's nicking out! MILLIA: He's worser then Sol! KY: I never thought that was possible. (Sol pulls out a ciggarrette and lights it) SOL: Look what I have Ciddy-pooh! >>answered Cid in his usual tone of arrogance. >>"Sorry, Captain. I won't bother you," said Shera. >>Cid realized that he had treated Shera like crap for too long. MILLIA: He notices now! Men are so stupid! THE MEN: HEY!! MILLIA: Well, Sol anyways. He has the same personality traits of Cid. Ky... your a good kid and Testament.....I don't know what you are so you're okay. SOL: Personality traits of Cid.....neat! TESTAMENT: ....*grumbles* I'm a man dammit.... >>She had saved his life. If the rocket >>had successfully launched on that day, >>everyone on board would have died. >>For the first time, Cid spoke with respect to her. KY: (Cid) Could you PLEASE get me my fucking tea. >>"No, you're not bothering me this time. SOL: (Cid) Only patronizing. >>Listen, Shera. TESTAMENT: (Cid) I am He-man! MILLIA: Wrong Shera. TESTAMENT: Oh yeah... >>I have something important to tell you." SOL: (broken english) I luff you! >>Shera was surprised at Cid's sudden kindness. TESTAMENT: (Shera) Wow! He really is drunk! >>"Yes, Captain. Go right ahead." >>Cid continued. "You saved my life, >>and I've been an ass to you all this time. EVERYONE: OUT OF CHARACTER ALERT!! TESTAMENT: Wait! Cid might have a cute kitten side to himself......well maybe a cute rabid kitten side to himself. >>I'm... I'm sorry," came the words he >> had been meaning to say. >>Shera paused for a moment. MILLIA: (Shera) Drunk, definatly drunk. >>"Thank you, Captain. You saved my life >>back on that day, too. The launch would >>have been a success... but you chose to let >>me live instead. KY: (Cid) I knew I screwed up. >>I am eternally grateful to you for that." >>Shera was right. Cid had saved her, >> but he had to do so only because of his own >>moronic haste. TESTAMENT: Oh for the love of all that's natural, just admit it! You saved her ass on purpose! Not because you wanted to be hastey. >>He looked outside the pod again. SOL: (William Shatner) Deep space 9 >>Nothing but vast, empty space MILLIA: Like the feeling this fic is leaving me. >>could be seen through the window >>as the pod floated toward the Planet. KY: But got hit by a meteor and all die. >>"Look out there, Shera. This is what we worked for." TESTAMENT: (Shera) Vast nothingness....you need a life, Captain. >>Shera admired the black void outside. >>"It's beautiful, Captain." >>Cid talked to Shera as a friend, not her boss. SOL: (Cid) Don't call me Captain....CALL ME KING!! >>"Please, Shera, you've called me >>Captain long enought. KY: The "t" is silent. >>From now on just call me TESTAMENT: (Cid) Antonio! >>Cid." >>Shera smiled. "Okay, >>Cid." She had never called him >>that before. MILLIA: Oh boy.....I've seen it all. >>She knew they were getting closer, >>both mentally and physically. KY: If their going to boff in Zero Gravity, lets hope they don't leave a mess flying around. >>It wasn't long before Cid wrapped his arm around her waist. EVERYONE: And did the maceraina! >>"Doesn't it make you wonder what else is out there?" KY: (singing) Is there life out there? TESTAMENT: Haltezine!! I hate that song!! >>asked Cid. "There's so much out there, KY: (singing) So much we need to learn! TESTAMENT: I said.....HALTEZINE!!!! KY: Sorry, they were starting to become the lyrics. >>and we're never going to see it all." >>"It just shows that what you really want >>is closer than you think," answered Shera. SOL: (Cid) My ciggarettes and beer? Sweet! >>She in turn brought her hand around Cid's waist. EVERYONE: And did the maceraina! >>s though signaled MILLIA: Who's "s"? >>by an outside force, Cid and Shera >>slowly turned and faced each other >>at the same time. KY: And ran right into each other! >>As each of them looked deep into the other's eyes, >>they both felt an inner peace. >>Cid thought about what Shera had just said. >>He knew the answer. EVERYONE: No.... >>"Yes, everything I ever wanted... >>right here by my side for so long... >>If only I had noticed." TESTAMENT: (Cid) I have a six pack right beside me! >>Shera knew what he meant. SOL: (Shera) Good ol' Molson Canadian! >>"I'd do anything for you, Cid." TESTAMENT: Mate, feed, kill, repeat... EVERYONE ELSE: WHAT!? TESTAMENT: Feeling mind controlled again...sorry. >>She held his face in her tender hands as he held hers >>with his soft touch. Their two faces quickly pulled >>together in one long, sensational kiss. >>After they kissed, SOL: She puked. TESTAMENT: The taste of cigars and beer was too much for the poor woman. >>Cid and Shera continued to look deep into each other's eyes. MILLIA: DAMMIT! YOU LOOKED LONG ENOUGH! HURRY UP SO WE CAN LEAVE THIS DAMN PLACE!! >>Shera acted first, KY: (Shera) Too be! Or not too be! >>pulling Cid's goofy goggles from his forehead. SOL: They are flying googles. ~_~ >>Cid soon followed by removing her glasses. >>He then took Shera's lab coat off for her >>as she pulled of his jacket. MILLIA: Every detail of taking off someones clothing. It makes for great cinema. >>The woman Cid once saw as a scrawny >>scientist he now recognized as a glowing, >>feminine beauty. KY: Gillian Anderson? >>Shera saw through Cid's tough attitude and >>bad manners. SOL: And found only a tough attitude and bad manners >>She found inside him a heart of gold. TESTAMENT: So she ripped it out and sold it for One hundren billion gil. >>The two finished removing their clothes >>and sat together naked. SOL: And then Cloud came in. MILLIA: (Cloud) I did that with a dead Aeris. OOPS! KY: Don't remind us.... >>Cid advanced down on Shera, separating >>her thighs with his knees. KY: Creeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!! >>He continued to approach her until >>his rocket had entered her pussy. TESTAMENT: AGAIN!! >>As he lay on his assistant, >>he was supported by her two soft breasts. MILLIA: (As breasts) Your going to get through this Cid. Even if you don't function properly. >>They squeezed on each other's asses as they EVERYONE: Did the maceraina! >>made love in the pod. Their tongues >>remained in direct contact for a long time. SOL: They were child hood friends after all. >>Cid's rocket unleashed a stream of fuel just >>outside the tight space of Shera's vagina. TESTAMENT: O_O Tell me that's stupid description. That sounded like it hurts. SOL: Don't light a match! KY: Big badda boom MILLIA: It's stupid description. >>The two continued exchanging fluids until >>Shera shrilled in passionate delight. MILLIA: (Cloud) Keep it down! SOL: (Tifa) Get a room! KY: (Yuffie) Go to sleep dammit! TESTAMENT: (Cid) Bite me! >>The echo of her orgasmic scream could >>easily be heard within the deep nothing of space. KY: Oh....so they did hear it. >>Cid felt her squeeze with an unimaginable >>force on his buttocks as she climaxed. SOL: Luckily Cid does those Buns of Steel videos or they would have been ripped clear off. >>The escape pod landed in the waters near Rocket Town. TESTAMENT: Cid and Shera were drenched waaaay before it landed in the lake. >>Cid and Shera came to their senses. MILLIA: Literally >>They quickly put on their uniforms. SOL: And cleaned up with paper towels. >>Shera buttoned her lab coat to cover up her >>dripping pussy. TESTAMENT: So she wears no underwear under that lab coat? >>"Captain," exclaimed the overwhelmed Shera, >>"your men have performed well!" KY: (Cid) But I was the only one here!! >>She loved Cid. TESTAMENT: Cid loved beer. >>The man who had saved her life and >>given her a purpose had finally >>appreciated her talents, both of >>science and of love. MILLIA: That really isn't a talent. >>"Aye aye, ma'am," joked Cid. >>"You were perfect, too," SOL: (Cid) Even though you ripped my ass off. >>came the compliment. He had just screwed >>his assistant. KY: He fired her after that incident. >>They had always worked extraordinarily well together. TESTAMENT: This was not one of those moments. >>As he opened the chamber and let the others >>out of the pod, he was actually cheery. MILLIA: (Cid) Could you PLEASE get me some FRICKEN tea? >>Yet he could only think of how long he and >>Shera could have already been happy together. >>If only he hadn't been such an ass to her. SOL: (lights another ciggarette) If only he had some of these (waving ciggarette package around) >>Well, at least she finally had a chance >>to grope that ass. EVERYONE: O_O >>He was a rejuvenated pilot who had >>successfully navigated his way through >>the dark and unknown frontier of space. KY: So that's what he calls Shera! >>* * * >>Cid was more rude than Rude, TESTAMENT: (sarcastically) Ha ha ha. Funny pun. >>especially to Shera. SOL: The Princess of power! >>For once I just wanted to see him treat >>her with any respect at all. Shera cared >>much for Cid. EVERYONE: But only as a friend! >>She was willing to live as his slave. MILLIA: Wait! This isn't a bondage mind control fic..... right? >>Their relationship needed to be >>distorted to a massive degree. >>So it was done. KY: This fic was made! >>You can E-mail me sailor_terra@hotbot.com >>with any unique thoughts you might have. TESTAMENT: I have one.... Tuna! >>Hmmm... Where DID that escape pod land? SOL: On my damn house! That took ages to fix you know! KY: That was an air plane. SOL: .....oh yeah. >>I really would have liked to see >>a movie scene of that. SOL: Of it landing on my house!? >>I don't know why; I just think it >>would have been rather neat. SOL: O_O But it was my house! MILLIA: He's talking about the pod stupid! SOL: Oh... <1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6> SOL: What are you doing? MILLIA: You know how Shera had no underwear under her lab coat like in the fic. Well, lets see what Testament has under that skirt of his! SOL: (turns the other way) Lets not. Ugh. MILLIA: Okay, he's getting dressed.... Come on... Stop playing with you damn bunny doll! Uh oh... I think he sees my camera... Damn. MILLIA: (to Sol) Look natural! TESTAMENT: What's this. MILLIA: I have no idea.... What's under your skirt dammit!! TESTAMENT: O_O Get away! MILLIA: Better luck next time huh? The End.... For now **STINGER** "Shera buttoned her lab coat to cover up her dripping pussy."