MSTing by Edgey This is all in good fun This is not to insult the author Don't take this personally ^_^ All of these are all copyrighted to their respectable owners. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- GUILTY VERSION 2.2: EPISODE 5= MATERIA: THE HOPELESS REBELS --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- In the far and distant future During a big fight, Guilty Gear fighters are gone away To a world of stories that bite. Edgey made a great attack, They could not even counter-act Edgey grinned a grin so sly She'll brake their brains until they cry. EVERYONE: "What the HELL!!" EDGEY: "I'll send them cheesy fanfics the ones that make you insane" (la la la) But they like to fight alot, so they can take the pain (la la la) Now keep in mind, they can't take control to make the fanfics stop Fighting is not the answer here Even if they want to kill each other GUILTY ROLL CALL ("Lets Rock!") Testament ("What the...?") Millia ("Oh boy!") Ky Kiske ("I don't like this") Sooooooooooool ("Go to hell") If your wondering why Edgey's mean and other pointless facts (la la la) EDGEY "Shut up and watch the fricken show! So sit down and relax" for Edgey's Theater of Brain Breaking (TWANG) ------------------------------------------------------------- MILLIA: The sky is falling! The sky is falling SOL: Klefarie! Klefarie! Klefarie! KY: What the? TESTAMENT: Why!? Tell me why!? MILLIA: To kill time.... SOL: Yeah....that's it... KY AND TESTAMENT: Stop then! TESTAMENT: Edgey called! There is a God! EDGEY: Everyone having fun? EVERYONE: Yes... EDGEY: Well guess what, you dopes get to veiw another stinker of a fic. MILLIA: The sky is falling! SOL: Klefarie!! EDGEY: O_O Just for that! Your going to get this one right now! KY: Thanks alot. TESTAMENT: And everyone says that I'm abnormal. ~_~ KY: FANFIC SIGN!! SOL: Klefar....crap! <6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1> TESTAMENT: Will you stop! >>FINAL FANTASY VII >>Chapter Five: The Hopeless Rebels SOL: More like Hopless Fic >>* * * >>Meteor had been unleashed by the Black Materia. KY: All Clod's fault once again! MILLIA: Clod, Clod, Clod... TESTAMENT: The world is doomed because of you! SOL: Damn you Clod! Testament was supposed to make the world into a complete wreck by ressurecting Justice! TESTAMENT: Complete wreck!? I call it more of an improvement to the world...without...humans and all. ^^; >>A series of the Planet's creatures known simply as KY: Smurfs >>Weapon KY: Damn. >>roamed around the oceans. MILLIA: And killed all the dolphines. TESTAMENT: Grrr....dolphines. If May uses one of those again....I'll show her Squeak Squeak!! KY: Calm down there Junior. >>The leaders of Shinra had barely escaped from the >>northern crater. They took with them the members >>of the heroic party, which had left Cloud inside >>the crater EVERYONE: They ditched Clod! SOL: See! He did screw up! >>with Sephiroth and Jenova. MILLIA: Wait! They left Clod with Sephiroth and Jenova...you know what that means. SOL: Kinky Hentai fics! >>Most of them were ignored by Shinra, but Barret >>and Tifa were leaders of Avalanche, the rather annoying >>rebellion against the company. >>It had been five days since Sephiroth called Meteor to >>destroy the Planet. TESTAMENT: The weather is calm, very sunny and no rabid Chocobos to kill anyone today. >>Barret and Tifa were locked up in a small >>chamber in Shinra's Junon Headquarters. KY: Thus rendering a Hentai trigger. >>Tifa had been unconscious since that fateful day. KY: Thus rendering Hentai trigger number two. >>Barret could only watch as she lay still on her bed, >>silent and unmoving. She barely seemed alive. MILLIA: This better not be another Necrophilliac fic. TESTAMENT: Barely alive! BARELY! MILLIA: Phew. >>As Barret looked at Tifa, his mind was flooded >>with memories of the past. KY: The party where he got completely drunk and puked on Red XIII MILLIA: The time he was found dancing to the macerana. SOL: He was caught in a hot tub with a six pac of beer and hookers. TESTAMENT: Two words. Sailor Suit. >>Three years ago, KY: We would have been at home not watching these crap fics. >>Tifa had come to the Sector 7 Slums. She was new to Midgar. >>She asked Barret if she could join Avalanche, SOL: And he said no >>still a growing group at that point. He had asked her why. TESTAMENT: Because she likes to break stuff. >>She told him she had something against Shinra, like himself. MILLIA: Shinra makes the most crappiest snack crackers on earth and they must extract their revenge on them for it! >>She had mentioned a young man she was searching for, someone named Cloud. SOL: A.k.a Clod KY: A.k.a Chocobo head MILLIA: A.k.a Cloudia TESTAMENT: Know as Stinky to his friends. >>As he continued thinking, MILLIA: And set off the fire alarm >>Barret began to realize how much Tifa reminded >>him of his lost wife. SOL: Wow! His wife had big knockers like Tifas!? TESTAMENT: Haltezine! SOL: Sorry! >>They were both very young and full of energy. >>Common to both of them was their undying determination. SOL: And there big... TESTAMENT: Ha puh puh... SOL: ummm.....eyes! >>She had been so lively. But the fire that >>ravaged Corel four years ago had taken her away from him. >>As Barret looked at Tifa, he noticed how peacefully she slept. KY: Wait! Don't boff a sleeping Tifa! SOL: Only fondle! TESTAMENT: Hit him for me Millia. MILLIA: Gladely! SOL: Ow! MILLIA: Serves you right. >>She was quite lovely lying in her bed, SOL: He he he.... SOL: I'll behave. >>still and undisturbed. Cloud, KY: Clod! Get it right! >>the object of her dreams, had left her. TESTAMENT: I thought Aeris was the object of her dreams? MILLIA: I guess Tifa forgot about her wild night of sex with Aeris in chapter two of this fic. >>Barret knew they were meant for each other, >>but he had said nothing. As he looked upon her calm body, >>he wondered how she would live without Cloud. TESTAMENT: After sleeping with Cloud, she probably would say one simple sentence.....I need a woman! >>Barret wanted to make Tifa happy. SOL: So he's going to boff her in her sleep? >>He walked over to her bed and placed her body across his lap. KY: I bet he's hoping for her to sleep lap dance. >>He held her head in his left hand. MILLIA: And accidentally broke her neck >>She seemed to be smiling back at him. TESTAMENT: Too bad he's making one on her face. >>Barret vowed not to lose Tifa. >>She had searched so hard for Cloud. >> The lies of his past had been revealed to all. KY: Cloud actually keeps Aeris in one of those tubbawear containers to keep her fresh for a lonely night. TESTAMENT: O_O That's sick! SOL: Could have happened to you. TESTAMENT: O.O Nooooooo!! >>He was gone now. What would Tifa do without Cloud? MILLIA: Do we need to know....~_~ >>Barret didn't know. She was still unconscious. >>Ever since the death of his wife, Barret had been lonely. >>He had hoped to find another woman like her. TESTAMENT: Two words that screwed that up for him. Sailor Suit. >>He thought about her and the girl lying across his lap. >>He wanted so badly to talk to Tifa, but that was impossible. SOL: So he talked to his little voice in his head again. KY: (voice) Kill the girl >>He enjoyed holding her in his arms. It reminded him of his past. >>Barret continued thinking. MILLIA: Setting off another fire alarm. >>He and his wife had agreed to wait until they were both ready. >>But their chance never came, for she died before her time. TESTAMENT: Whoa! There both virgins? >>Tifa would never see Cloud again, or so Barret believed. >>Both he and she were victims of love. She would have to >>move on, and who better to help her than her leader from Avalanche? KY: By boffing her in her sleep? >>Barret rested Tifa's still body back down on her bed. >>He had never made love. MILLIA: Only babies. SOL: That was actually pretty mean when you think about it. MILLIA: Your point being? >>Using his left hand, he carefully removed Tifa's >>fighting uniform from her body. SOL: *sigh* The top that enhances her... TESTAMENT: Ha puh puh puh... SOL: ....umm...eyes. >>He then gently undid her bra SOL: O_O ooooooooooooo!! >>and removed her underwear. SOL: O_O Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!! >>Barret stared at Tifa's tits SOL: O_O Wow! TESTAMENT: Lost cause >>while pulling down his own pants. >>He uncovered his large, dark penis and lay down >>on the bed by Tifa. KY: Then a Shinra soldier walked in! >>He then turned her over on top of him >>and began sliding her body downward. >>Barret felt a great sensation as he wedged >>his penis deep into Tifa's vagina. MILLIA: First a dead body! Now a sleeping body! >>He began breathing rapidly as he lie under Tifa's naked body. TESTAMENT: I thought he was on top....I'm confused. >>She too seemed to become more and more excited. SOL: She's fantasizing about Aeris again. That's all. >>Barret ejaculated around Tifa several times as he made love to her. KY: Not in....around. MILLIA: Thus making us confused. SOL: Thus making me wonder if he knows where to insert his penis TESTAMENT: Thus making he want to burn this fic and step all over it. >>As he finished up, Barret looked around >>the room and found some paper towels to clean up the mess. TESTAMENT: I bet Shinra keeps paper towels around just for this occasion. >>He went back to Tifa and properly dressed her. SOL: Wait! Shinra guys have cameras on them. You know what that means. EVERYONE: Free prone! >>Well, as properly as she had been dressed before, anyway. >>Barret stared deeply into her calm and smiling face. >>They would be together in a place better than this, >>maybe as friends, maybe as lovers. KY: Maybe dead SOL: Maybe alive MILLIA: Maybe dogs and cats TESTAMENT: Dominatrix and her pet. >>Glancing out the window, Barret sighed >>in worry at Meteor, flying toward the Planet. SOL: But not at the fact that the Shinra soldiers sold the rights to there spy cam to Penthouse. >>I've lost too much, he said to himself. >>There ain't no way that fuckin' Meteor >>gonna be hittin' our Planet! >>Least, not if I can do somethin' 'bout it... MILLIA: Which is probably absolutely nothing. >>* * * >>Barret and Tifa are good friends throught Final Fantasy VII. >>Sure, Tifa drools over Cloud, KY: But they conveniently keep paper towels everywhere for such an occasion. >>and Barret just get pissed off at everyone a whole lot, >>but the two do have their moments. This chapter is one >>of those moments. SOL: I get it! The lost scene in Final Fantasy VII >>Okay, here's something I can't figure out. >>When Tifa is getting gassed, Barret pulls on the >>door with both of his hands. How can he do that if >>his right hand is a gun? TESTAMENT: ....I....don't....know.... O_O MILLIA: Now that really got me thinking. >>Questions? Comments? Random thoughts? >>Send them all to sailor_terra@hotbot.com <1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6> SOL: Oh know, I spilt beer on the floor TESTAMENT: Don't worry! I have a paper towel that can do the trick. See! Cleans up stains in know time. KY AND MILLIA: And it can be found anywhere in your house for all of those house hold messes. SOL: Wow! Thanks for the help guys! The End....for know. STINGER: **As he finished up, Barret looked around the room and found some paper towels to clean up the mess.**