MSTing by Edgey This is all in good fun This is not to insult the author Don't take this personally ^_^ All of these are all copyrighted to their respectable owners. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- GUILTY VERSION 2.2: EPISODE 4= MATERIA: A CLOUD IN AIR IS... --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- In the far and distant future During a big fight, Guilty Gear fighters are gone away To a world of stories that bite. Edgey made a great attack, They could not even counter-act Edgey grinned a grin so sly She'll brake their brains until they cry. EVERYONE: "What the HELL!!" EDGEY: "I'll send them cheesy fanfics the ones that make you insane" (la la la) But they like to fight alot, so they can take the pain (la la la) Now keep in mind, they can't take control to make the fanfics stop Fighting is not the answer here Even if they want to kill each other GUILTY ROLL CALL ("Lets Rock!") Testament ("What the...?") Millia ("Oh boy!") Ky Kiske ("I don't like this") Sooooooooooool ("Go to hell") If your wondering why Edgey's mean and other pointless facts (la la la) EDGEY "Shut up and watch the fricken show! So sit down and relax" for Edgey's Theater of Brain Breaking (TWANG) ------------------------------------------------------------- KY: Power! SOL: Cocain! KY: Power! SOL: Cocain! TESTAMENT: What the hell are you guys argueing about!? KY: Maybe you would know! TESTAMENT: Know what? SOL: What causes Sephiroth to be so cranky! KY: Power? SOL: Or Cocain? TESTAMENT: Millia!! MILLIA: It's both! EVERYONE ELSE: Thank you! EDGEY: As you can see, I'm rather busy right now. VOICE: I don't have the money! EDGEY: Shut up! MILLIA: O...kay.... EDGEY: This is what people get for not paying me back. Your crap fic for today has Cloud scoreing. MILLIA: Yes!! TESTAMENT: Dammit!! EDGEY: I hope you enjoy. EDGEY: Bu-Bye!! VOICE: Mercy!!!!!!!!! KY: I still think it's only power. EVERYONE: We have fanfic sign!! <6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1> >>FINAL FANTASY VII- >>Chapter Four: A Cloud in Air is... SOL: Ha ha ha! I get it! Cloud in Aeris, ha ha.....Oh my God....O_O >>* * * MILLIA: Yay! Snow!! >>The Masamune went through Aeris' EVERYONE: Ahhh! SOL: Already!? >>fragile body EVERYONE: *phew*.....wait a sec! >>without resistance. The Ancient's hair >>ribbon became loose as her White Materia >>bounced along the steps leading to the Water Altar. TESTAMENT: Not the death of Aeris!? MILLIA: Testament just got sentimental all of a sudden. SOL: That is odd. KY: Kleenex? TESTAMENT: *sniffle* Thank you...*sob* >>Sephiroth gave Cloud a speech about his destiny. KY: (Sephiroth) As chairman of the board, I shall give my speech. You, Clod, will die. Thank you for your time. SOL: (Sephiroth) As for the death of Aeris.... Oops! >>Cloud was too distraught at the death of MILLIA: Fluffkins, his cat. TESTAMENT: NOT FLUFFKINS!! *SOB* >>Aeris to pay any attention at all. >>He could not understand what Sephiroth >>was trying to tell him. SOL: It was something about Unicorn head being a puppet of some sort. I don't know, I really didn't listen. >>Sephiroth cackled, "Because you are..." TESTAMENT: (Sephiroth) in a crappy fanfic series and there is no way out! Mwa ha ha ha ha! KY: I see you got over Aeris' death. TESTAMENT: AERIS!! *SOB* KY: Knock on wood. ~_~ >>Cloud fought the Jenova segment Sephiroth >>had left behind. SOL: I didn't think it was possible to leave a segment of a fic behind. MILLIA: This is about the only good segment you would get out of this fic. >>Though the beast put up a rather mediocre >>and nearly pathetic fight, Cloud easily >>defeated the monster. KY: Due to the fact that it put up a mediocre and nearly pathetic fight. TESTAMENT: *sniffle* They probably built the party up to level 99 right at the start. *sob* >>As Jenova vanished, she echoed Sephiroth. >>"Because you are... a puppet." SOL: Whoa...I guess I was listening. ^_^V >>Cloud's party now grieved over MILLIA: The fanfic TESTAMENT: *sob* We lost it a long time ego. *sniffle* AERIS!! >>the fallen Ancient at their feet. SOL: (Cloud) She's fallen and she'll never get up. >>Neither Vincent nor Cid had known her well, SOL AND TESTAMENT: BUT HE BOFFED HER IN THE PREVIOUS FIC!! MILLIA: Screw continuity, we don't need it. KY: If only Sephiroth put the masamune through this fanfic. ~_~ >>yet sadness filled both their hearts >>over Aeris' death. TESTAMENT: (Vincent) I boffed her last night and damn was she good. *sob* I'll miss the girl!! >>Barret had already faced the loss of his >>wife and his best friend Dyne. Aeris had >>taken such good care of Marlene for him. MILLIA: Anyone else notice that poor Aeris was protrayed as a two dollar walk in slut and no one notices that? >>Red XIII had her to thank for beginning to >>understand humans. EVERYONE: Yuffie was to blame that for that antrosity of the world. *shudders* >>He knew she was returning to the Lifestream soon, >>but he was sad to see a friend die. SOL: (RED XIII) I'm so sad....but then again she will be going to the Lifestream again so heck, lets party! >>Yuffie had looked upon Aeris as a big >>sister and a friend. TESTAMENT: Yeah, a friend and big sister to steal materia from. ~_~ >>She whispered a soft prayer and shed some tears. KY: (Yuffie) I wish I was out of this fanfic. >>The playful Cait Sith (Everyone starts to snicker) >>looked down sadly at the innocent body. >>He had promised to do anything for Cloud and >>Aeris, and now it was too late. MILLIA: Anything huh? SOL: I shudder to think of it. TESTAMENT: I'm getting miserable again. KY: Lost cause. >>Even as one of the Shinra he felt pain and anger. SOL: Except for Palmer when he got hit by the Shinra truck. He absorbed that blow nicely KY: Must have been the lard tea he had at Cid's home. >>Tifa had known Aeris well in a short amount of time. MILLIA: They had wild sex as well. >>She sobbed endlessly and ran from the >>altar to hide her tears. TESTAMENT: (Tifa) Now I'm stuck with Chocobo head! Noooooooooooooooooooo!!! >>Finally, Cloud stood over Aeris, seeming unemotional >>as usual, but he was very sad over the event >>and even more angry at Sephiroth for the murder. KY: (Cloud) Oh darn, Aeris died but I'm sad. See, I'm sad...boo hoo, boo hoo. Die Sephiroth! DIE!! MILLIA: We get to leave! TESTAMENT: *sniffle* SOL: Finally. <1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6> KY: Sol what are you doing. SOL: I'm dead. MILLIA: O....kay.... SOL: I want to see Testament's reaction. He got all sentimental over Aeris' death so lets see what he thinks if I die. Here he comes TESTAMENT: Ooo, chips. TESTAMENT: Huh? Hey Sol, what are you doing in a casket? SOL: DAMMIT! I'M DEAD! DEAD! D-E-A-D! DEAD! WHAT PART OF DEAD DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND!! EVERYONE: Fanfic sign! <6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1> TESTAMENT: You got my hopes up when you said you died. SOL: Shut up! >>The others all walked MILLIA: Right on Aeris' dead body! DOH! >>from the altar and left Cloud alone with Aeris. KY: Wait.....you don't think... SOL: Oh....My....God! MILLIA: She's dead! TESTAMENT: That makes her inatimate! Hand over the twenty's! MILLIA: Damn! >>Cloud suddenly opened his heart for once SOL: Cloud would have to be dead after that! KY: (Cloud) I did my own open heart surgury and saved! >>and looked at the slain Ancient lying on the altar. >>Cloud wanted to give Aeris a proper burial at sea. TESTAMENT: Where all the fish will knaw on her decomposing body. MILLIA: Imagine finding her body while fishing. >>He looked longingly at her face. KY: (Cloud) Man, she took her clothes off and I didn't even notice. *sniffle* >>The cheerful expression he had taken for >>granted was no more. She had treated him like a god, SOL: By taking her clothing off. >>but he had ignored her. He regretted not having >>paid attention to her. MILLIA: He was too busy looking at Sephiroth's butt. >>He vaguely remembered their date together at >>the Gold Saucer. TESTAMENT: He talked to Cait Sith and ignored the poor neglected Aeris who boffed Tifa. >>She had poured her heart out to him, >>but he had said and done nothing for her. KY: Yet he still doesn't remeber Aeris stripping down to her undies. SOL: I do! ^_^ >>Cloud wanted to make up for his rudeness >>to Aeris somehow. He kneeled down by her >> side and held her right hand between his two. >>She slept so peacefully, her soul having returned >>to the Planet. >>Cloud held her cold hand to his face. MILLIA: And froze to death. The end. >>Cloud lifted her head with his arms. SOL: But it fell off! >>Aeris had was so beautiful. Cloud >>wanted to say good-bye to Aeris. TESTAMENT: Then say good bye! >>He kissed her on the lips. >>Cloud then shed a single tear from the >>outside of his left eye. TESTAMENT: ;_; AERIS!!!! *sob* >>It couldn't end this way. She had such a bright future. >>They had such a bright future together. KY: Well Sephiroth just walked all over that plan! >>Cloud didn't know what to do. For the first time, >>he was overcome with grief. >>Aeris had been there for him. Even though they never >>talked about it, Cloud could tell she loved him. >>Why didn't he listen to her? EVERYONE: Because he's a clod! >>Why did he ignore her? EVERYONE: Because he's a clod! >>It was too late now. She was dead. EVERYONE: Oh really!? >>Sephiroth had torn Aeris' soft pink dress >>with his Masamune. MILLIA: If the Masamune didn't rip the pink dress, then she wouldn't be dead now would she!? >>Cloud ripped at her dress in anger and regret. TESTAMENT: I hope when I died those two times, no one did that to me! O_O SOL: Naw, they just dressed you up in a dress. TESTAMENT: HEY! I've been wearing this way before....I hate you! >>He caught sight of the hidden flesh. >>His penis immediately became firm and erect. MILLIA: Here it comes! KY: Please don't say comes SOL: He's going to crack open a cold one! TESTAMENT: STOP! >>He didn't know what to do. EVERYONE: Leave! Leave! For the love of all that's natural! LEAVE! >>He began caressing her breasts. TESTAMENT: I'm getting scared! What if someone did that to me!! O_O SOL: Oh....My....God....O_O >>He treated them with great care even >>though she was no longer alive. MILLIA: Then Aeris comes back from the dead and kills Cloud for molesting her body! >>Aeris had wanted him so badly. EVERYONE: But not like this! >>Cloud knew that in the back of his mind. KY: He knew this was wrong too! >>Cloud carefully removed Aeris' clothing and >>wiped up her blood. He then dropped his own pants, >>revealing his elongated tissue. MILLIA: Don't do it Cloud! SOL: Stop! I'll take back every mean thing I said about you! TESTAMENT: You're scaring us! KY: Tell me when it's over! >>He whispered gently into her ear, "I love you, Aeris..." TESTAMENT: Is there any chance of Sephiroth impaling Cloud right now? >>Cloud spread Aeris' legs out and slid >>his penis between them. TESTAMENT: Please tell me no one did that to me! KY: Oh the thoughts. MILLIA: Well you do look like a woman SOL: Heck, you did die twice. TESTAMENT: O_O >>He instantly felt an indescribable pleasure. SOL: While we feel indescribable sickness. >>A torrent of fluid shot from Cloud into Aeris' body. >>Cloud held Aeris' cold body close to him as he expressed >>his underlying feelings for her. KY: She's dead you Clod! She's not going to have an orgasim with you! >>"Aeris..." he moaned in both despair and ecstasy. MILLIA: For most of us, it's despair. >>Cloud felt a cold, sticky residue coming from >>the walls of her soft, warm vagina. TESTAMENT: Tell me that's a maggot ready to casterate this man! >>After a long time, Cloud withdrew from Aeris and >>quickly redressed her as best he could. He then >>lifted her lifeless body to an empty pond. >>Carrying her body to the middle of the lake, >>Cloud said his final farewell to Aeris and let her >>body sink into the cold water. SOL: Oh if only Cloud was in the cold water when this antrosity happened. MILLIA: Shrinky dink and we all go home. TESTAMENT AND KY: Amen! >>Though Aeris had perished, Cloud had left a >>part of him that would forever lie with her. >>The party had little time for further mourning. KY: So they held a party and got drunk. MILLIA: Except for Cloud, he was at the local morge. >>They had to follow Sephiroth as he began making his >>way through the snowy lands of the northern continent. TESTAMENT: And it was so cold that Cloud's you know what froze and broke off so he won't boff another dead body again! >>* * * >>The great Cait Sith KY: Now that's funny! >>had predicted that Cloud and Aeris >>were perfect for each other. SOL: And boy was he wrong! >>Unfortunately, they never got a chance together. >>I found that rather depressing. This was the story >>of Cloud's last chance, and he of course took and relished it. EVERYONE: While everyone else got violently sick. >>You can e-mail me sailor_terra@hotbot.com >>By the way, I'd be happy to hear of any theories >>on reviving Aeris (They're all fake, but I find them humorous). KY: Well there is the Yuffie and Rex XIII thing in the first chapter to this fic. SOL: Then there is Cloud boffing the dead Aeris in hopes of reviving her. MILLIA: Or you can feed her ten tons of milk duds and hope for the best TESTAMENT: Either that or you can just start pounding on her chest yelling out "Wake up dammit! Wake up!" TESTAMENT: I need to investigate something! <1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6> KY: What is he doing? SOL: After this fic, he is worried that when he died those two times, he got taken advantage of like Aeris. MILLIA: Well why won't he call Cliff up? TESTAMENT: Dammit! TESTAMENT: Maybe Edgey will know!! EDGEY: So, how did you like it? TESTAMENT: Did someone take advantage of me when I died twice? EDGEY: -_^ What!? TESTAMENT: Did someone....boff...me when I was dead twice? EDGEY: How should I know!? Why won't you just call up Cliff and ask him since he killed you the second time! TESTAMENT: My dad!? Why didn't I think of that before! EDGEY: I'm leaving. I'm afraid I'm going to catch something from this guy. O_O TESTAMENT: Hi is Cliff there? TESTAMENT: Dad! TESTAMENT: Yes I'm sane....yes I'm wearing a skirt. TESTAMENT: That's not the point! I just need to ask you a question. TESTAMENT: No I'm not asking for money! I just....yes....yes...no... I just need to know if someone took advantage of me when I was dead those two times. TESTAMENT: Stop laughing I'm serious... TESTAMENT: Daaaaaaaaaaad!!! TESTAMENT: So I'm just paranoid...okay good thanks....bye! TESTAMENT: What do you mean or maybe it did happen...hello? Hello? TESTAMENT: He hung up on me! Great! Now I'll never know! ;_; Why me? Why!? SOL: Because you resemble a female? TESTAMENT:.......That's it! The end....for now! STINGER: "Though the beast put up a rather mediocre and nearly pathetic fight, Cloud easily defeated the monster."