MSTing by Edgey This is all in good fun This is not to insult the author Don't take this personally ^_^ All of these are all copyrighted to their respectable owners. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- GUILTY VERSION 2.2: EPISODE 3= MATERIA: SWEET DARKNESS --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- In the far and distant future During a big fight, Guilty Gear fighters are gone away To a world of stories that bite. Edgey made a great attack, They could not even counter-act Edgey grinned a grin so sly She'll brake their brains until they cry. EVERYONE: "What the HELL!!" EDGEY: "I'll send them cheesy fanfics the ones that make you insane" (la la la) But they like to fight alot, so they can take the pain (la la la) Now keep in mind, they can't take control to make the fanfics stop Fighting is not the answer here Even if they want to kill each other GUILTY ROLL CALL ("Lets Rock!") Testament ("What the...?") Millia ("Oh boy!") Ky Kiske ("I don't like this") Sooooooooooool ("Go to hell") If your wondering why Edgey's mean and other pointless facts (la la la) EDGEY "Shut up and watch the fricken show! So sit down and relax" for Edgey's Theater of Brain Breaking (TWANG) ------------------------------------------------------------- TESTAMENT: Millia.....Millia? MILLIA: My Vincent! You are the one! La la la can't find anything that rhymes with Vincent! TESTAMENT: O_O Oh boy MILLIA: Oh...hello Testament! If you should know, the evil lady Edgey said that Vincent is in this next fic. TESTAMENT: But wouldn't that degrade the mysterious Vincent and turn him into a porn king? MILLIA: But that means that I get to see him naked! TESTAMENT:.......you have a point there. BOTH: Edgey's calling! SOL: Why is Edgey staring at us? EDGEY: You doops are in for it with this fic. MILLIA: Why? I get to see Vincent naked! What more do I need to make this fic bad. EDGEY: Easy, Aeris is the other one! EVERYONE: O.O KY: Aeris is being portrayed as a SLUT!? SOL: What has this world come to!? MILLIA: It was suppose to be Seph.....it's not right! TESTAMENT: Again? EDGEY: Shut up and watch the fic! KY: I don't understand this author EVERYONE: WE HAVE FANFIC SIGN! <6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1> >>FINAL FANTASY VII KY: How come I'm starting to dred that title? >>Chapter Three: Sweet Darkness TESTAMENT: Tastes just like cotton candy! >>* * * >>Cloud SOL: Heeeeeeeeeeey!! I just noticed that Clod has not scored in this fic yet! MILLIA: Poor Clod. >>had given the Black Materia to Sephiroth. KY: (Cloud) Here you go my prince! TESTAMENT: (Sephiroth) WHAT! This is a fake Black Materia! How come you do this to me!? You always get Aeris or Tifa authentic real materia and you give me all of the crap materia! I thought you said you LOVED me!! TESTAMENT: *sob* BASTARD! >>Aeris had asked all the others to ignore Cloud's >>sudden change. SOL: (Aeris) It's that time of the month again for him. Better becareful. >>He had attacked her in rage, KY: But since it was Clouds time of the month, she used the ulimated defense against it. MILLIA: Hoggendoz!! TESTAMENT: Extra fudge! >>but she had let that pass. The team left >>the Temple of the Ancients, >>taking the Tiny Bronco to Gongaga. Here everyone >>would spend the night, SOL: For the love to all that's natural! Seperate Red XIII and Yuffie!! >>and the actions to now be taken against Sephiroth >>would be discussed in the morning. TESTAMENT: Sledge hammer to the knee caps! >>Aeris awoke in the middle of the night. SOL: She had an urge for Tifa! SOL: What!? >>She was preparing to travel alone >>to the Sleeping Forest. MILLIA: But since the damn forest is a sleeping one, everyone kept it up with all their moaning and groaning while having their wild nights of sex. SOL: Like I said, seperate Red XIII and Yuffie!! >>Her final destination would be TESTAMENT: Out of this damn fic!! >>the City of the Ancients. MILLIA: That's in LA right? >>She kneeled at the side of Cloud's bed, EVERYONE: Clod is going to score!! MILLIA: Thank you! >>telling him where she was going. KY: (Aeris) I'm going to hell Clod so you can kiss my ass! >>He only saw her in his dreams, though. SOL: He saw her naked with a jar of mayo and seran wrap. >>She walked outside the hut of Gongaga. She knew >>she wouldn't be coming back, but she was the only >>one who could save the Planet. MILLIA: For she was Captain Aeris!! >>She looked up at the stars and breathed in the cool air. TESTAMENT: But then she gagged because they were down wind to the city of Midgar. KY: (Aeris) Mako in the morning! *sigh* >>A dark, shadowy figure approached her from the distance. >>As she looked at the shape headed toward her, SOL: She picked up a blunt object and was ready to kill it for supper! >>Aeris could see only the red cape on his back. TESTAMENT: It was Batman!! >>The strange, sinister man carried his characteristic cold >>face about him this night. He was now within speaking distance. MILLIA: Vincent! O_O >>"Hi, Vincent," said the Ancient. MILLIA: Vincent!! TESTAMENT: Clod didn't score! Give me my twenty back! MILLIA: Dammit! >>"Hello to you, too," replied Vincent. >>Aeris wanted to know what he, of all people, >>was doing here. KY: Even Vincent needs sex in these lemon fics like any other characters in a lemon fic. >>"Why aren't you sleeping? Aren't you tired?" SOL: (Vincent) No, I wanna have sex with someone other then a male. You know how many yaoi fics I'm in these days!? >>Vincent simply said, "No." SOL: I like what I said better. >>Aeris was a bit afraid to talk to this man, MILLIA: Due to the fact that he was in so many yaoi fics. TESTAMENT: He's a yaoi porn star. >>for he had barely uttered a word since >>joining the party. "Oh." >>Vincent continued. "After twenty long years of >>sleep, what's a night or two?" KY: Twenty years of sleep!? Man, since he's in one of these sour lemon fics, he can go all night. >>Aeris giggled. He definitely had a point there. >>"True," she said shyly. >>Vincent asked Aeris a question. TESTAMENT: (Vincent) Was it true that you and Tifa had a wild night of sex. SOL: (Aeris) Oh and who should talk with you and Sephiroth! >>"Now, really, why are you out here tonight?" MILLIA: (Aeris) I couldn't find Tifa!! >>Aeris didn't want to reveal her true purpose. >>"Well, I'm just out here looking at the stars." SOL: (Aeris) The big round ones remind me of Tifa >>"What about sleep? Have you been asleep for >>a few years too?" came Vincent's sarcastic response. KY: (Aeris) Look, just because I ODed off of Night Quill, doesn't mean you should mock me!! >>Aeris chuckled again. "No. I'm just not tired." >>Vincent was a bit suspicious of her. "I doubt that. >>There's more to it. You're tired, but you can't sleep. >>Something more important is keeping you up." MILLIA: (Vincent) Your scoring with Cloud but your afraid that you would make Tifa jelous! >>Aeris was shocked at the accusation. TESTAMENT: (Aeris) Just because I'm out of character in this fic and I'm a complete slut, doesn't mean that you can say that I want to boff Cloud!! >>"How do you know what keeps me up, huh?" she asked him. SOL: (Vincent) Easy, you and Tifa were just way too loud for your own good. >>"I can tell," said the dark figure. "Your eyes >>give away your thoughts. I see fear and anxiety. >>Something bad is going to happen." TESTAMENT: (Vincent) I feel that I'm going out of character as well. >>Aeris was silent for some time. "Yes..." she finally conceded. KY: (Aeris) We are out of character. >>Vincent was not a cruel man. "Please don't be upset." >>"About Sephiroth and the Black Materia..." Aeris had to >>tell someone now. "I'm going to stop him." >>"What do you plan to do, Aeris?" Vincent reflected upon >>his past. This was the first time in decades he had called >>anyone by name. MILLIA: He usually called them "Hey you!" >>"I'm going to the Sleeping Forest," admitted Aeris. SOL: (Aeris) I'm going to wake it up and make it cranky in the morning. >>"I see, but what will that accomplish?" asked Vincent. >>"Only one thing can save the Planet," explained Aeris. >>"I need to leave here and head north..." She concluded >>the inevitable. "I won't be coming back." KY: (Aeris) Sephiroth is going to impale me on his sword. What do you think dammit!? Everyone by now knows I die!!! >>"So..." Vincent remained silent for awhile. >>"No," he finally said. "You can't do this." EVERYONE: OUT OF CHARACTER ALERT!!! <1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6> MILLIA: Hi.... TESTAMENT: Hi... MILLIA: What are you looking at? TESTAMENT: The ceiling. MILLIA: Okay.... TESTAMENT: so..... MILLIA: so..... TESTAMENT: I guess since we don't know each other like in the fic with Vincent and Aeris, that gives us an excuse to have sex. MILLIA: Yep..... TESTAMENT: Uh huh.... MILLIA: This sucks, lets go break something TESTAMENT: Good idea. BOTH: fanfic sign!! <6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1> SOL: You two bonded huh? MILLIA: Shut up! >>"I must," resolved Aeris. "There's nothing >>you or anyone else can do. I've been prepared >>for this. I'm leaving tonight." KY: (Aeris) Screw you guys, I'm going home!! >>She suddenly wondered why she was telling this strange man her plan. EVERYONE: Because they want sex!! >>"I can't have you sacrificing yourself," Vincent demanded. >>"If anyone should die for the Planet, it is the one who >>allowed all this evil to occur in the first place. That's me." SOL: (Vincent) Lucrecia dumped me for Hojo and then they had Sephiroth! Hojo dammit! Hojo!!! >>Aeris had known nothing about Vincent. >>"What?" she asked in surprise. MILLIA: (Aeris) She dumped you for HOJO!! >>"It's all my fault," said Vincent. >>"No it's not," said Aeris kindly. "This is >>all because of Sephiroth, and Shinra, and..." EVERYONE: HOJO!! >>"Please, Aeris. I can see that you will not >>stay, but before you leave, at least let me >>tell you my story," said Vincent. >>"Sure," whispered the Ancient. >>The two sat down and faced each other as Vincent >>began his story. TESTAMENT: (Vincent) Once upon a time, there where three little pigs. The one was Hojo and I shot the s.o.b!! >>"Many years ago, I was a Turk of Shinra. >>I loved a woman named Lucrecia. However, >>she did not love me." KY: (Vincent) She loved......Hojo. I feel so insulted! >>"To love and not be loved..." Aeris was thinking of Cloud. >>"She loved Hojo, EVERYONE: EEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWW!! >>the master scientist. Our love was not meant to be. >>I knew she was unhappy with me. I told her to do what >>she wanted. She went with Hojo." EVERYONE: HOJO! SHE WENT FOR HOJO!! >>Aeris recalled her own pain. MILLIA: (Aeris) I'm going to kill Cloud. >>"A love can be lost so easily. I remember my >>boyfriend Zack. He just dropped of the face of >>the Planet. I never knew what happened to him." SOL: (Aeris) The blood stains on the carpet are here to this day...Oops! >>"They were very happy together," continued Vincent. >>"I let her go because I didn't want to upset her. >>Hojo and Lucrecia had a child one year later." MILLIA: (Vincent) And he grew up into one sexy peice of grade A beef. KY: That's what you are thinking not Vincent. MILLIA: I know. ^_^V >>"I don't understand," said the confused Aeris. >> "I can't see how you could be responsible for >>the crisis of the Planet." >>"The child's name was Sephiroth," concluded Vincent. >>Aeris gasped in horror as she understood the whole truth. >>Vincent had given up Lucrecia to Hojo. >>In doing so, he had allowed for the birth of Sephiroth. SOL: Who looks nothing like Hojo MILLIA: There is a God! >>"I'm so sorry," said the sympathetic Ancient. >>She looked hard into his dull red eyes. She could >>almost sense some emotion inside. MILLIA: DAMMIT! JUST BECAUSE HE SLEEPS IN COFFINS DOESN'T MEAN HE'S NOT SENSITIVE!! >>"That's why I don't want you running off," Vincent explained. >>"This is my fault. I should be the one to die for the Planet. >>You shouldn't have to sacrifice yourself." KY: Reverse psychology! Works every time! >>Aeris was sad. "I know, but I must. I'm the >>only one that can stop Sephiroth now." >>Vincent knew she was right. "You're right, Aeris." >>He paused his speech and looked into her bright green eyes. TESTAMENT: You are getting Sleeeeeeepy!! >>He saw her sympathy and kindness. "You know, >>you remind me a lot of Lucrecia. SOL: HENTAI TRIGGER!! >>I've already lost her. To lose you will be like >>losing her all over again." >>Aeris felt the same way about Zack. She wished >>she had known just what happened to him. >>"Yeah, I feel that way about Zack too. He was my first boyfriend." MILLIA: (Aeris) Well, I don't call that one fling at the party when I was drunk a boyfriend really. >>"Did you love him?" asked Vincent. >>Aeris thought long and hard. "I'm... not sure >>I did, honestly." TESTAMENT: (Aeris) Now that I think of it, I did stab him ten times KY: Feeling dark? >>Vincent smirked. SOL: (Vincent) she made a funny! >>"That's not all bad. It takes some time to >>truly learn love. I barely got a chance." >>Aeris was curious. "Well, I have a really personal >>question, but you don't have to answer. Before >>she left you, did you and Lucrecia ever, well, you know, uh..." MILLIA: (Aeris) Boff wildly all night long. >>Vincent wondered why she was asking him, but he >>answered her quite frankly. "No, we never slept >>together. Why did you ask me that?" MILLIA: Vincent is a virgin!? With looks like that he would have slept with everyone in the world.... including the boys! Hell he would have probably had you three also!! SOL: No....only Testament. TESTAMENT: Yeah....HEY!! >>Aeris looked deep into Vincent's eyes and >>told him the truth. "I'm going to die tomorrow. >>I've never been with a man before, and I wanted to >>know how love felt." EVERYONE: Sex equals Love! >>"I couldn't tell you," answered Vincent. >>Aeris knew she had to leave soon, but there >>were still a few hours before sunrise. >>She had one last chance to do it. KY: OUT OF CHARACTER ALERT SOL: SLUT ALERT!! >>"Vincent," she said quietly, "I wanted my first >>time to be with someone who understood me." >>"Me too," stated the enigmatic one. TESTAMENT: Okay, they just met and now they all of a sudden understand each other and want to have sex. What is this world coming to!? >>She reached out to him and held his cold hands. EVERYONE: Hand and claw!! MILLIA: Dammit! The claw is sexy!! >>"Thank you for listening and understanding me. >> We both have had bad luck with luck. I'll be going >>soon, but before I do, there's something else I want." KY: (Aeris) Kill Cloud!! >>Vincent interrupted the Ancient. "Wait, not yet. >>I want to thank you for listening and understanding, >>too. You're the only person that knows my entire story." >>He stopped. "Now, what is it you wanted?" EVERYONE: SEX!! >>Vincent anticipated her answer as he stared >>longingly into her eyes. >>"You..." said Aeris, as she kissed him on the lips. EVERYONE: OUT OF CHARACTER ALERT......AGAIN!! >>Aeris stood up and removed her little red vest and >>her military boots. SOL: Isn't that cute, she is in pink and wears boots that can hurt when being kicked in the head. MILLIA: Midgar is a tough city. >>Vincent removed his red flowing cape and his shoes. >>The two approached each other. TESTAMENT: Better make sure their shoes are off so they won't get the grass and dirt all messed up. >>Aeris removed Vincent's layers of clothing as he >>undid her light pink dress and undergarments. KY: Then Cloud went outside and saw the whole thing! TESTAMENT: (Cloud) Vincent! How could you!? >>The two stood naked in the still, quiet night. SOL: Then it got really cold outside and they froze. MILLIA: Shrinkey Dink! >>Aeris' pussy became wet as Vincent's penis became >>long and stiff. MILLIA: Oh....no Shrinkey Dink! TESTAMENT: Just a Long Slong! SOL: A Stone Bone! KY: A Thick Dick! >>Aeris admired the naked man before her. SOL: (Aeris) It's so....so....so...SO! >>"You're beautiful, Vincent. I can't imagine >>why Lucrecia ever left you," MILLIA: (Aeris) Especially for HOJO!! >>she told him. "I guess she was saving you for me," >>added the Ancient. >>As she finished talking, Aeris lay down on the >>soft ground with her knees up and her arms wide open. >>Vincent pushed her legs down with his own and embraced her. KY: But since he has a claw that the author completly forgot about, he crushed ever bone in her body. >>He then forced Aeris' legs apart EVERYONE: Cccrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeakkkk!! >>and connected their parts properly. SOL: (Vincent) Lets see...this fits here...no wait! TESTAMENT: (Aeris) Not that hole you idiot! >>A mix of fluids surrounded their genitals as they made >>passionate love to each other. Vincent felt the soft, >>cushioning breasts of Aeris toughening against his own >>chest as they kissed, their tongues tangling together. KY: Lets tangle! SOL: You idiot, that's tango. KY: Oh yeah. >>Vincent quickly peaked several times, >>blasting a stream into Aeris' face each time. TESTAEMENT: I thought they where properly connected? SOL: I don't want to know how it got in her face then. >>Vincent removed himself from Aeris. TESTAMENT: Even though he's shooting sperm in her face! SOL: What the hell is up with that!? TESTAMENT: DOES SHE HAVE HOLES IN HER! WHAT IS IT!? HUH? SOL AND TESTAMENT: THE FEMALE BODY ISN'T FULL OF THAT MANY HOLES DAMMIT!!! KY: Are you two.. MILLIA: Alright? TESTAMENT AND SOL: Fine..... >.< >>He then lay his head down on her chest and began sucking >>and fondling her breasts as she moaned in pleasure. >>He then moved farther down her body until his mouth was >>situated in front of her pussy. SOL: Which his penis some how got in even though it sprayed sperm in her face. MILLIA: Don't start. >>Aeris yelled wildly as Vincent rapidly lashed his tongue >>at her clitoris, causing her to unleash a great flood. KY: Quick! Build the ark! MILLIA: All in twos! SOL: Gothic transvestite first! TESTAMENT: At least my ass is saved and not your you putts! SOL: ......shit! >>Vincent's face was drenched in Aeris' sticky cum. >>The two got up and held each other. Aeris licked her >>own cum from Vincent's face. MILLIA: Didn't she also do this with Tifa perviously? >>She was happily startled as she felt something entering >>her vagina again. TESTAMENT: >.< That pisses me off! KY: Stop! >>The two stood for several minutes, holding each other >>as fluids were exchanged. SOL: I DON'T THINK TRANSACTIONS WITH FLUIDS IS PART OF THE BANKING SYSTEM DAMMIT!! >>They stopped together and put their clothes back on. KY: So they just stood their. No bouncey bouncey, boinky boinky or creek creek. They just sat there and climaxed......*_o >>It was still the dead of the night. MILLIA: After this fic it is the dead of anything. >>Aeris spoke first, "I'm not sure I want >>to die now," she remarked. TESTAMENT: (Aeris) I don't think they allow sex in heaven KY: Who said she was going to heaven. >>Vincent replied, "I don't want to lose you either." >>"We both know there is no choice," said Aeris. >>"Please, Vincent, treasure this night forever." >>"Don't worry, Aeris, I will," stated the former Turk. MILLIA: And the next day he forgot completely about it and called it merely.....a fling. >>"I need your help one last time," requested Aeris. >>"Please take me to the Sleeping Forest." SOL: I'm sure with all their moaning, they would wake that forest up. >>"Yes, my love," said Vincent. >>Vincent and Aeris took the Tiny Bronco to the >>northern continent. As Aeris was leaving him behind forever, >>she could see the tears building in his eyes. When Aeris >>was no longer visible, Vincent KY: Partyed like it was 1999! TESTAMENT: But he realized that it was year 2000 so he stopped. >>took the crashed plane back to Gongaga. >>He remained outside until dawn, looking >>at the moon and the stars. If only he >>had never left Lucrecia behind. SOL: But Lucrecia wanted Hojo so that makes it much much worse for the poor man. >>All this could have been prevented. But it >>was too late now. He was to lose another love this day. MILLIA: Even thought they don't talk to each other in the game. >>* * * >>Vincent is quite the tragic character. KY: He got dumped for Hojo! Enough said! >>A victim of love and kindness, he is indirectly >>involved in the creation of Sephiroth, and he pays >>dearly for his mistakes. Aeris, young and innocent, TESTAMENT: And also a slut in these fics. >>becomes an unfortunate casualty of the war to >>protect the Planet. Vincent and Aeris did not >>know each other at any point in the game. EVERYONE: Thank you!! >>I decided to change that. EVERYONE: Damn you!! >>E-mail sailor_terra@hotbot.com if you have any >>ideas, normal or weird. >>As a side note, how many other players stopped using >>Vincent when his Galian Beast Flare healed the Materia >>Keeper inside Mt. Nibel? SOL: I just made him use magic constantly. <1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6> SOL: See! No holes to make that spray in her face! TESTAMENT: Ha ha ha! We were right! MILLIA: (quietly to Ky) You would think that their gear enhansements would make them smarter. KY: Edgey's calling EDGEY: So what did you think? SOL AND TESTAMENT: Grrrrrrrrr.....>o< KY: Ignore them, they're made at the author for doing some stupid error in the fic. EDGEY: You thought that was bad. Wait till you read the next one. He he he Signing off! KY: Wait what do you mean!? Edgey! EDGEY!!! MILLIA: I'm sure it won't be that bad. SOL AND TESTAMENT: YEAH RIGHT! KY AND MILLIA: SHUT UP! The End....for now! STINGER: *Aeris yelled wildly as Vincent rapidly lashed his tongue at her clitoris, causing her to unleash a great flood.*