Don't take this personally ^_^ All of these are all copyrighted to their respectable owners. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ GUILTY VERSION 2.2: EPISODE 17= FIRST LOVE ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ In the far and distant future During a big fight, Guilty Gear fighters are gone away To a world of stories that bite. Edgey made a great attack, They could not even counter-act Edgey grinned a grin so sly She'll brake their brains until they cry. EVERYONE: "What... The... HELL!!" EDGEY: "I'll send them cheesy fanfics the ones that make you insane" (la la la) But they like to fight alot, so they can take the pain (la la la) Now keep in mind, they can't take control to make the fanfics stop Fighting is not the answer here Even if they want to kill each other GUILTY ROLL CALL ("Lets Rock!") Testament ("What the...?") Millia ("Oh boy!") Ky Kiske ("I don't like this") Sooooooooooool ("Go to hell") If your wondering why Edgey's mean and other pointless facts (la la la) EDGEY "Shut up and watch the fricken show! So sit down and relax" for Edgey's Theater of Brain Breaking (TWANG) ------------------------------------------------------------- KY: This is food of the Gods! MILLIA: Best part is I think Jam forgot about me and Venom trashing the place before I got sent to this stinking theatre. SOL: You and Venom trashed her resturant?? MILLIA: Well we had lots of Wine... and well first it was all innocent with us singing along with the radio. But then it's found out that I'm actually a violent drunk. TESTAMENT: Edgey's calling.. [OBB] VENOM: Hey Millia. The reason why Jam hasn't sent us the damage bill yet was because I used one of Edgey's checks to pay for the damages. Edgey hasn't noticed yet so I think we're in the clear. [LOBBY] MILLIA: Excellent! [OBB] EDGEY: Hmmm.. now when did I lend out one thousand dollars? VENOM: I have no idea your Edgey one. EDGEY: Hmm.. now why are you sucking up to me? You want money don't you. VENOM: Ummm...sure! ZATO: Why do you want money? You already used one of Edgey's checks to pay for the damages of that resturant. VENOM: Shut.. up.. Zato... EDGEY: you... used... my CHECKS!? VENOM: Well you see.. he he he it's funny isn't it? EDGEY: I'll show you what's funny! (looks at the screen) Today's fic is another Guilty Gear yaoi fic featuring this moron and Mr. Shadow guy over there. (to Venom) You're gonig to see the fic with them. VENOM: WHAT??? EDGEY: No buts about it! (Venom disappears) [LOBBY] (Venom appearts in the Theatre lobby with everyone else) TESTAMENT: Fortune cookie? VENOM: Leave me alone. EVERYONE: WE HAVE FANFIC SIGN!! <6 5 4 3 2 1> TESTAMENT: Welcome to our hell. >>First Love SOL: Colon, slash. How to be a clone. Semi-colon. A grain of sand, exclamation point. VENOM: Is he always this stupid? KY: Like you wouldn't believe. >>He can remember the first time that he laid eyes on the tall, dark, >>and white haired man with the blue eyes. MILLIA: Micheal Jackson aged??? SOL: *screams* Don't ever put him in one of these fics!! EVER!! TESTAMENT: Okay mister semi-colon. >>He remembered the frightened look in his eyes as he stood before the guild... >>just before he was to be exicuted HE came to his rescue. MILLIA: Heeey! I remember this! I was in the front row eating chips! VENOM: Yeah whenever the speach of my exicution was to come on, they always had to stop to tell the lady in the blonde hair not to crunch on those chips too loudly. MILLIA: Yeah... I didn't even mean to delay the exicution for an hour because of that. SOL: I'd whip peanuts at him if I was there. VENOM: Shut up mister "how to be a clone". >>Now they lay side by side only seperated by the concreate wall. KY: But technically speaking, they aren't really laying side by side. It was just the architec and the interior decorators fault for setting up the rooms like that. >>Zato wanted to touch him, he wanted to caress him... TESTAMENT: He wanted to make him into a chia pet. VENOM: Use him as his slave. MILLIA: Teach him stupid pet tricks. KY: Make him sing at the Copa Cabanna. SOL: Worse... he wanted him to wear a pink thong while doing all that. >>Zato just plain wanted Venom. MILLIA: Venom isn't wanted, he was just never claimed. VENOM: I'd kill you but your lucky I don't like to kill. >>He wanted to run his fingers through the mass of pale hair, >>he wanted to run his hands over his bare chest and back, KY: He wanted to spank him and call him honey pot! KY: What? >>he just wanted to remember every contour of Venum's dark body. SOL: Hmmm is the before Eddie, or after Eddie? Because technically Eddie would remember every contor not Zato. VENOM: Hey hey hey! Venom! Not 'Venum'. No umm!! >>He smiled to himself as he thought of TESTAMENT: Carrot top. That comedian makes him laugh everytime. >>Venum's VENOM: It's spelled V-E-N-O-M!! VENOM!! MILLIA: Dear god it's just your name! >>dark skin glistening in sweat. SOL: I like to think of Tifa's... EVERYONE: SHUT UP!! >>"I must have you tonight." he muttered to himself as he slid out of bed, MILLIA: and fell face first on the floor. VENOM: Eddie wasn't awake yet so Zato is probably tripping over shoes, running into walls and then landed face first in the toilet. SOL: Wow you're being mean to your leader. VENOM: He was the one who had me watch this fic with you so I think I'm being fair about it. >>careful not to wake Millia who was sleeping soundly beside him. MILLIA AND VENOM: WHAT!!!!!! SOL: MILLIA WAS BOFFING ZATO! MILLIA: WAS NOT!!! VENOM: I W... VENOM: I... umm... well... she wasn't!! >>He paused to look at her naked body's outline from the thin blanket covering her. SOL: *drooling* Millia is sexshee! MILLIA: Kill... Edgey... for... fic... SOL: Will Millia go bouncy??? KY: Sol... stop before she kills you. SOL: Bouncey, bouncey, bouncey! >>He thought back to when he and Millia were making love earlier. MILLIA: Ew ew ew! Get me some bleach! Do we have to see this?? SOL: We had to see me molest Testament so yes! Plus I get to see your tatas!! >>He loved her, MILLIA: Oooo I get it! I was drunk at the time!! FABIO TAKE ME AWAY!! TESTAMENT: Fabio??? >>but Venom there was something about him that gave >>Zato a burning feeling down in his loins. VENOM: Maybe taking the hot coals out of his pants would help that burning sensation. >>He walked out of the room KY: and ran against a wall. He should have woke his shadow up first to help him out here. >>and stood in front of Venom's door. SOL: But it turned out to be the womens washroom! DOH! VENOM: Hey Eddie! WAKE UP! >>He took a few deep breaths and then lightly rapped on his door. KY: Word up yo, rapping at the door! GET IT!! SOL: Your so white Ky. >>"Yes?..............." TESTAMENT: That's a lot of dots, how can you do that?? VENOM: Easy ......... EVERYONE ELSE: WOW! >>a sleepy voice answered. >>"Venom? It's me VENOM: Mario! SOL: (mario voice) I needa to fixa the pipes! Zato... MILLIA: (Zato) I have this condition where I need sex every minute. >>may I please come in?" SOL: (Zato) and when I mean come in, I mean have sex with you! >>his heart was pounding inside his chest VENOM: And he has a heart attack and dies, the end! MILLIA: Sit down junior! We haven't even seen you get mocked yet! VENOM: Damn you, you weak and withered whore! MILLIA: Whatever yaoi boy. SOL: It's the ambigiously gay duo! >>and he hoped that no one could hear it. TESTAMENT: Too bad he was galloping around like a gazell. VENOM: Smashing through that window didn't help him. KY: That would teach him to wake Eddie up before he goes around the house. >>He could hear the light rustle of blankets and then Venom opened the door KY: (Venom) Make it quick, Matlock is almost on. >>and he was face to face with the one that he so deeply wanted. >>"Come in." Venom said sleepily as he stood out of the way to let Zato in. SOL: (Venom) and by come in I mean have me bend over and.. EVERYONE: SHUT UP!! SOL: eep! >>Venom shut the door and then went over and sat on the edge of his bed, KY: Jeez... he's alitte up front about this isn't he? TESTAMENT: (Venom) You got five minutes so make it good lover boy! VENOM: It wasn't like that! VENOM: umm... well.. you see... look a windmill! >>he looked up at Zato and asked "What is it that's troubling you?" MILLIA: Venom is gay! He's concerned!! VENOM: AM NOT!!! >>Zato, bent down KY: How'd you do that? VENOM: Talent. >>so that he was face to face with Venom. "You..." SOL: (Zato) Why do you always have your hair covering your face? >>he sighed as he moved closer to Venom. >>"Zato? What...what....???" EVERYONE: HE SAID YOU!!!! MILLIA: Zato is blind and Venom is deaf... whatta match!! >>"I want to make love to you." SOL: I'm starting to believe Zato does have that condition where he needs sex every second. KY: Yeah, you just don't go and be up front about it. First you have to make cheesy pick up lines and then WHAM BAM THANK YOU MAM'! KY: What? >> breathed as he brushed the white hair away from the delicate face. >>"But...I...w...what about Millia?" MILLIA: (Zato) Oh her? I'm not man enough for her because I'm a stupid head. VENOM: You're just being biased! MILLIA: So? >>"Millia? She's not important. SOL: She's important to me! SLEEP WITH MEEEEEEEEEEE! SOL: I like you. MILLIA: LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO SOL, EDGEY!! >>You, you are the one that I adore... >>she's just a plaything to me." TESTAMENT: "Plaything?" Old english mixed with modern day slang! VENOM: (Zato) Move thine ass! >>"????" KY: The question marks are silent! >>"Do you want me to teach you? SOL: (singing) Teach me tiger. Hold me tiger. EVERYONE: Whoa whoa whoa whoa.... WOW >>You're shaking are you cold or excited?" MILLIA: Cold... oh so very cold. >>Zato growled as he pulled Venom's silk nightshirt off. >>"Oh, no." Venom gasped. EVERYONE BUT VENOM: Oh yes! Oh yes!! VENOM: Are you all this mean to others being put in the theater with you? KY: You have no idea! >>"No? No, to what? VENOM: No as in your shadow is looking at me funny. MILLIA: Ew, now that I think about it, that's really disturbing! His own personal peeping tom to take photos of you and post them on the internet. TESTAMENT: Note to self, if I want to find out if this fic is true, log onto Eddie's homepage. >>Kiss me darling and I..I will teach you things that you only dreamed of." SOL: Oh god... it's starting to sound like the song Teach me Tiger! DAMN YOU FIC! VENOM: Man... Zato has the worst pick up lines ever! TESTAMENT: You haven't seen Sol's pick up lines yet. SOL: Yeah... HEY! >>"Please, Zato...I don't want..." KY: (Venom) Full house to be cancelled! TESTAMENT: Those Olson twins make him giggle like a school girl! VENOM: Hello! I'm right here!!! >>Venom gasped as Zato lightly kissed his bare belly. SOL: And he immediatly started to do raspberries on it as well! >>Zato, moved his hands up and down Venom's thighs EVERYONE: And they did the Maceraina! >>as he hitched his thumbs over the eleastic waist band of his pants and pulled them down. MILLIA: (Zato) MY EYE! WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY EYE!! SOL: At least he's blind already. >>He slowly lowered Venom's body onto the bed, kissing him passionatly as >>the stunned man tried to push him off. EVERYONE: BOO! SOL: Another rape fic!??! YAOI FOR THAT MATTER! TIFA HOLD ME! KY: Where did you get that... I don't want to know... VENOM: I don't want to know what he does with that plushie. >>"Don't resist, my darling." MILLIA: (Borg) Resistance is Futile, prepare to die! >>"Then teach me." SOL: Tiger. >>Zato, let out a low growl MILLIA: (Zato) grrr hear my mighty roar... grrr. >>as he stripped Venom. He stared at the well muscled body that was under him. EVERYONE: HUH!? VENOM: But I'm there and he's there and.... DAMN YOU FIC! MILLIA: Maybe Eddie wants in on the action. >>He slowly stripped off his own clothing. SOL: But Eddie didn't wake up and he's struggling to get those pants down. Look at him fall over! Whatta loon! >>Venom gasped as he saw what was before him. MILLIA: (Venom) it's so... so... so.... small.... VENOM: Oh it's not that... VENOM: Umm... uhh... I just dug myself a grave didn't I? MILLIA: Oh hell, you also buried yourself in it afterwards. >>Zato, spread Venom's legs TESTAMENT: crrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek. >>and slid inbetween them. Zato, kissed Venom's penis and then slipped it into his mouth. SOL: Hasn't Zato's mom ever taught him not to stick foriegn objects in his mouth? VENOM: He never had a mother, everyone from the assassin's guild are orphans. SOL: Well... I rest my case! >>Venom gasped as Zato lightly sucked on him. >>"Wha...wha..wha..." KY: Sounds like porn music!! EVERYONE: BOOM CHICKA WOW! >>Venom breathed. >>Zato stopped and started to kiss Venom's body and when he reached >>his mouth he kissed him passionatly, but not too rough as to hurt >>or frighten Venom. VENOM: I'm not that sensitive! MILLIA: You're a poo poo head. VENOM: *cries* I AM NOT! >>He then slipped inside Venom causing him to cry out. TESTAMENT: That makes it sound like Zato shoved his whole body in Venom. >>"Did, I hurt you?" Zato said in a concerned voice. MILLIA: Zato... concerned!? Right and I-no's chest size is an A cup. >>"No, no keep going." Venom said as he gripped onto Zato's thighs >>and pushed him in deeper. The two made love untill the first rays of light. KY: (in deep voice) This is God. How are you all doing? >>Each caressing the other and the kisses growing more and more passionate >>that they were ment to brand them to each other. MILLIA: Zato branded "Zato was here" on Venom's butt. SOL: Is that true!? VENOM: NO I DON'T HAVE "ZATO WAS HERE" BURNED ON MY ASS!! >>Venom lay in Zato's arms as a sliver of light fell upon them. VENOM: Literally... ouch! KY: That was just Eddie trying to get a midnight snack. >>"I want you to stay," he whispered, "Don't go back to her." >>"But I must. VENOM: (Zato) She'll miss Eddie. MILLIA: HEY! VENOM: Revenge is sweet. >>Don't worry my precious... SOL: (Golem) My precious... >>I'll be back tomarrow night." with that he kissed Venom full on the lips and left the room. KY: Hey.. he forgot to put his pants back on! VENOM: He just walks into a meeting and everyone is staring at him. MILLIA: Yeah, he's oblivious to the fact that everyone can see his doodles and Zato, our beloved Zato, just didn't realize that Eddie wasn't awake the whole time. SOL: Hell, Eddie probably auditioned for a role for Moulin Rouge and got in. TESTAMENT: Yeah so while poor Zato is talking with his wang waving about, Eddie is getting his groove on while singing Lady Marmalade. KY: Worse yet, Slayer decided to make a surprise visit to see how his Guild is doing! But what does Slayer see? He sees their great leader frollicing around happily with no pants on! VENOM: That's just sad. MILLIA: He makes me sick. KY: Lets beat him up! SOL: Yeah! TESTAMENT: ZATO HUNT! VENOM: I CALL DIBBS TO HIT HIM FIRST!! MILLIA: NO ME! EVERYONE: Kill the leader! Drink his blood! <1 2 3 4 5 6> SOL: We have a survivor!! MILLIA: Unlike Zato who fainted during the fic he read... [OBB] ZATO: Hey! Yuffie and Red XIII were having sex! [LOBBY] EVERYONE: That's not the point! KY: Venom survived! TESTAMENT: And he's mad! VENOM: Send me down Edgey... [OBB] VENOM: As for you... VENOM: THAT'S THE LAST TIME I TELL YOU WHEN I DESTROYED A RESTERUANT! YOU STUPID STUPID MAN!! ZATO: I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'll never do it again!! VENOM: YOU DAMN RIGHT YOU WON'T... [LOBBY] SOL: And for a moment there, I though Zato was the dominate one. [OBB] THE END... for now... STINGER: "Wha...wha..wha..."