Hans Moleman is one of the most ancient guys in Springfield. Instead of admitting it and kicking it at the Springfield Retirement Castle, however, he would rather do things like drive sugar trucks. He got into an accident once, and as he was peeling off the "How am I driving?" bumper sticker, Homer gave him a quarter to go and call for help. "If only this sugar was as sweet as you, sir," he said. Homer then proceeded to hijack the sugar. Hans was also executed on the episode where Marge becomes a cop. Homer eats his last meal of a lobster tail and a raspberry torte. Yes, he is a funny guy.

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