Though the true name is not known (something with a “th” has been mentioned), he holds a dear place in all our hearts. He is the kind of guy that will be remembered forever…and ever…and ever…, whether you like it or not. The kind of guy that will generously “give” you every thing he has. The man I am speaking of is Earmuffs. Every young bachelor living in a ghetto apartment building needs a crazy guy. We, Clavin and Dr. Gonzo, have Earmuffs. It is believed that he is the craziest man alive…perhaps the result of too many acid trips. He has been seen many times wearing earmuffs or a black face mask, and a winter coat…in hundred degree weather. Often times at night he wears a pair of long johns with whitey titeys over them, and the linings from winter boots or women’s shoes. I will now tell you some tales of the mysterious creature known as Earmuffs.
I often time like to go sit outside on the stoop and smoke a cigarette. Just so happens, so does Earmuffs. On these outside smoking adventures, Earmuffs and I have some great conversations. He told me a story once about how he got handcuffed once. He said he had a girlfriend (as if that’s not surprising itself) who decided to break up with him. Well he didn’t like that idea much, so he decided that maybe she would like it if he kept on calling her. He just wanted to talk (STALKER! STALKER! STALKER!), but she would never listen to him. Well she eventually got mad and called the police. They went to his house, handcuffed him, and took him to jail. Imagine that, Earmuffs being a stalker. Kind of hard to believe, isn’t it? No, not really. Well that’s the end of this story, but may more earmuffs stories will come.
