Okay, so yesterday, I was walking down the hall and I bumped into this short shit kid. It was an accident... oh, wait, no it wasn't. I did it because he was shorter than me. Anyways, the first thing this kid does is turn around, and try to look big. Then he stands on his toes so he's almost as tall. Out of nowhere, he starts screaming. He's like 'What is your candy ass doing bumping into Stone Cold? I'm going to have to lay the Stone Cold Smackdown on you!!' By this time, I was laughing so hard that I nearly shit my pants. This kid is, of course, wearing a WWF shirt that has some faggot on it named 'Rico.' In case you're not familiar with Rico, which I wasn't, he's some fag ass Irish dude who looks like he could be suing his barber. Take a look at him:

Wow!! He's a real hero! If this guys going to be your hero, you might as well just join the OJ Simpson. At least he'll teach you something valuable. This guy... Rico, isn't going to teach you anything... well, maybe something... hehe if you know what I mean... HOW TO LOOK GAY! Dammit! What do you think I was talking about? Pervert!!

Anyways, I did what anybody would do to this little fag. I bent him in half and ate him alive!! HAHA dammit it was funny!!

However, this isn't a first time thing! People, for some reason, think that when they watch these sweaty half naked guys try to get on top of each other, it makes them "cool". If I want to be "cool" like they do, I'd rather go to the Scooby Doo convention for a day than watch this shit. Scooby Doo is cool. He's such a fucking stoner, it's awesome. His shows get a little scary though sometimes...

But! Back to how much I hate wrestling! You go to school and sit by these guys who are trying to be cool. They're like 'Man!! DID YOU SEE RICO LAY THE SMACK DOWN?!' and the other kid's like 'No! Rico didn't lay no Smackdown!! It was Jumbo Jim!!' Then, they rave on and on about it until you just have to turn around and yell 'WOULD YOU SHUT THE HELL UP?!?!' When you say this, they shut up completely! Then, you feel a little bad (well, I don't ever feel bad because I'm mean) so you say 'You don't have to stop talking... just about wrestling!' So they turn to each other, as if they don't have anything better to talk about. So, you but in and say 'You can talk about normal stuff! Music... sports... girls...' Right when you mention girls, they jump right back. They're like 'Did you see Lita verses Victoria?!! NOW THAT WAS A SMACKDOWN!!!' Dammit I hate them! What is a smackdown anyways. You know what, I think I'll look it up... along with all their other wrestling terms.

Smackdown- Turns out this one isn't even a word! HAHA! Fake words aren't cool, guys.

Stonecold- Pronunciation: 'stOn-'kOld Function: adverb Date: 1592 : ABSOLUTELY.... Absolutely Steve Austin! Man, it doesn't sound that cool when you put it like that does it, homo?

Powerbomb- Pronunciation: 'pOwer bOmb' function: noun Date: unknown: A wrestling move where one person puts anothers head between their legs and slams them down... wait! Puts their head in between their legs?! Can somebody say HOMORIFIC???

Now, if I was a wrestler, I would kick ass. I've already been offered a contract by three federations, after I piledrivered my school counselor through a table when he told me I was being too violent.

After I did that, I was like 'No! You're too violent!' And then I kicked your ass, too, just because I felt like it. That's all for today. Remember kids, wrestling's gay.