Now, your first instinct is to be scared… but, don’t be. They’re good… well, not really, I guess. See, some people think they’re evil. Some people think they are defending the city. Well, everybody is wrong!!! You see… the truth is, all that Ninjas really want to do is eat! To eat without paying that is… after all, if you were a ninja, would you take shit from anybody? NO! You wouldn’t! If the guy at Subway was like “That’ll be $5.08... Plus tax,” you wouldn’t have to take it! All you would have to do if you were a ninja is pull out some numb chucks or whatever the hell they’re called and get medieval on some minimum waged teenage ass!! And nobody will care! Why? Because you’re a ninja!!

Let me guess… you don’t believe me about ninjas… nobody ever does… well, guess what, bitch?! I’ve got proof!! HAHAHAHA!!!!! Take a look at these pictures and tell me food-stealing ninjas don’t exist!!!

Now all you non-believers are going to be like, that's not a ninja... that's... that's my dad! Well, guess what?! IT'S A NINJA! ADMIT IT!! It is a ninja robbing AP Food Market! Wait a second! Why the hell's he using a cart? Only pussies use carts! See, I don't use a cart, becuase I rule. What a pussy...

Now that's a manly ninja! Robbing the same place, but this one doesn't need a cart! See, this is the kind of ninja that doesn't take any shit from anybody!! This is how I would be if I was a ninja! DAMMIT! I want to be a ninja!!!

What a pimp! Look at this guy! Making sure the coast is clear before he makes his move! Wow, and look at that bandana! This guy rules almost as much as me. Except for one thing... why KFC? Stupid ninja, KFC BLOWS! (I'm sorry if somebody who works at KFC is reading this. See, blows is a slang term here that means 'is very cool'.)

Caught in the act!! OUCH!! That sucks! But, when you need a Biggie fry and 99 cent chicken nuggets from Wendy's, you need them now. See, this guy has good taste. He likes Wendy's. Wendy's is for people who don't suck. I like Wendy's... HOLY SHIT! That means I don't suck!!

All this time, I've been thinking about how cool it would be if I was a ninja... well, I decided to find out how cool I would LOOK if I was a ninja. Well, here it is... here's me as a ninja.

That's sweet!!! AND A HALF!! Anyways, that's about all of the bitching I can do for one day! Now do you believe me that ninjas rule? You better!!

Than you, Robot Frank, for the Ninja Pictures.

-Amber Froehlich believes in ninjas, too.

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