God dammit these guys piss me off! I liked them for about a month, before 'Crawling' came out. I only liked them because 'One Step Closer' was all pimpy with the ninjas flying through the air and shit! Damn that was cool! Everybody liked them then! So what did they do? They showed they had a softer side! Why the hell do you want to show you have a softer side? So you can get your ass kicked more times a week then you already do? Wow, they're stupid!
You know what's even more retarded than them singling 'Crawling?' That everybody liked it! They were all like 'Chester's beautiful voice mixed with light guitar background really spoke to me...' Yeah, it spoke to me, too! Here's what it said:
That one got me really thinking! If Linkin Park can go platinum 16 times, I can make at least 320 times, because I'm at least twenty times better than Linkin Park! You know what my band is gonna be called? Optimizt Park!
Did you like how I used the Z? Z's make everything cooler! Take Pink's latest album. They wanted the title 'Misunderstood' to be cool. So, they just added in a Z or two! Now, it's 'Missundaztood,' which is SO much cooler than 'Misunderstood.'
Anyways, I'm going to record ANOTHER song for you! Cool!! First though, I'm going to tell you my strategy for being like Linkin Park..
1) Have a mixture of pussy singing and wigga chinese rapping. Unfortunately, I'm the only one here now so I'll have to cover for both.
2) Find an annoying guitar rhiff. I'm simply going to use 'Papercut' tuned down half a step and played crappily... yup... I played it crappily on purpose... hehe...
3) Use METHAPHORS! Everybody loves METAPHORS! I need to use as many 'Beneath my skin' or 'in my skin' metaphors as possible. That's all that Linkin Park does pretty much. Oh, wait. They use the word 'break' in about 50 metaphors in the CD, which I was stupid enough to have burned.
4) If I get a music video deal, I'm just going to throw together a bunch of weird shit, like flying prarie dogs, so no one understand what's going on. Then, about every minute I'll show a two second flash of the band. And at the end, there will probably be a fight or two. Everybody likes fights.
5.) I can't cuss in the CD either. No, I'm too big of a pussy to cuss! Oh, wait, I cussed in the song on accident... OOPS!!
6.) Do EVERY interview I can. For some reason, that's what Linkin Park does. They said on their website 'We have never turned down an interview.' Why not? If I was a celebrity, I would eat all the interviewers! Oops, no wait... that's if I was a hippo! Silly me!
Okay, that's it for my strategies! Now, here's the actual song! It's called... hmmm... that's a good question... Hey! I'll just do what Linkin Park does when they don't know a good song title! Just pick a word that would sound cool as a song title! Some examples are 'Papercut' and 'Faint.' I think I'll call mine 'Hippo!' Haha hippos kick ass...
Haha I think that one even passes 'I'm a Rebel.' Am I right or what? I think I am! That's all I'm going to make fun of Linkin Park for now though. Dammit I wanna be a hippo.
