If I was King of the world, it would be perfect. There's no other way around it. I just rule that much. And I wouldn't take shit from anybody either. If anybody gave me any, I'd just be like, 'OFF WITH YOUR HEAD, BITCH!' and they'd be dead!! HAHA!! THAT WOULD BE AWESOME!! Now... what would I do if I was King of the World, you ask? Well, I'll tell you...
I would start off, of course, with bannings. People that this world can do without. The first one to be banned, of course, would be this guy:
That's right. Mr. Oh-my-God-I'm-funny-even-though-all-I-do-is-hit-on-preps-and-I'm-a-nerd Steiner. How come everybody likes this guy? He's not funny at all! And when it all comes down to it... BANNED!!
Now, the second person, for sure, to be out of my perfect world would be Janet Reno!
Believe it or not, I witnessed an old man cry when he found out that Reno had Parkinson's. You know what I did? Well, first of all I kicked the old man's ass for being such a pussy, and then I turned and I laughed at Janet Reno! Normally, I would have only laughed for a minute or two, but I kept on getting fueled by the old man's cries for help. He deserved it.
This guy would be the next to go. This is that old man who was crying for Janet Reno. I don't exactly know who he, but he's a creepy old puss. I'm waiting for the day that this guy dies so I can laugh at his grave. Actually, I might have killed him when I kicked his ass... but either way I win. Here's the next person banned:
Personally, I think I'm speaking for everybody when I put this guy down... what's the best way to put this... he makes fruit snacks look fruity... no... he's gayer than a British juggler... no, that's not right. Ok. Take Mr. Thompson and multiply it by three! There you go! Maybe that's a little rough, but it's the truth!
I would ban a LOT more than that, but I've got to get down to more important things. First of all, what laws would I pass... Well, here's a list.
There's a hell of a lot more, but I'll stop their for now. The next thing I would have to do is appoint some officers. Well, you all know who would be my second in command... that's right! THE COOLEST MAN EVER:
Hell yes!!! The Hamburgler!! Do you know how badly this guy could kick your ass?! Well, I'm gonna tell you. Ok, you're walking down the street with your McDonald's hambuger. What the hell? Why are you eating at McDonald's? I'm gonna kick your ass!! Anyways, you've got your hamburger, and the Hamburgler wants it, right? So... what does he do? He sneaks up behind you and takes it to you. All of a sudden, you're blind and you have a foot in your ass! Ha! That's how much he rules. Anyways, my third in command in my axis of evi-- I mean my happy army would be this... thing.
I'm not sure what this is, but it came up to me and threatened to pass on it's disease, called 'Weird-fat-doggya' if I didn't let it have command. Truth is, it scares the hell out of me. If I could choose between watching a Friends marathon and seeing this thing for a second... I would choose Friends. That's how much this thing scares me.
Anyways, that's how it would go if I was in charge. I rule. That's all there is to it.
