"The most scary, stylish movie I've seen in years..."-Clive Barker

"Sheer terror"-Los Angeles Times

"Jeepers Creepers delivers the Goods."-Baltimore Sun

"It blew almost as much as 'They' and 'Rush Hour'"-Sean Templeton

What the hell is going on with the American movie industry? All that Victor Salva did in the one is put together a bunch of disturbing shit that leaves you with no fear and no sympathy for the main characters... oh, and he got ungodly credit for it!!!

The review sections I posted above were not the only ones I could find. Such other ones were: 'Jeepers Creepers has the scariest opening sequence in and horror film in recent memory.' and 'One of the gutsiest endings out there.' Okay! Let's have a look at this! How was that opening sequence scary? They're driving down the road and this one truck tries to ram them off! Later, they see the same truck throwing bodies into a pipe, so what do they do? THAT'S RIGHT! They go check! The guy falls down because he's a pussy and sees a bunch of bodies... oh. Scary. Wow. No movies compare to that, nu uh... especially not the Ring and Darkness Falls, which are the two best horror movies ever... EVER.

That's another thing that pisses me off really bad. I saw a movie review for Darkness Falls that said 'compares to the greatest horror movies, such as The Ring and Jeepers Creepers.' Oh, yeah, they compare! They compare almost as much as I compare to your mother! God I hate that movie. Oh, and the ending isn't gutsy either. My stomach is gutsy if that's gutsy! The thing flies out the main character and eats his eyes, looking through them at the end! MY GOD!! YOU WOULD HAVE TO HAVE GUTS TO DO THAT!! Did I mention that he eats what he needs? Does that mean that if I ate my phone that I would have one growing out of my stomach? I'll have to check and get back to you on that one. Maybe if you fed him acid, he would grow an acid and die? Hmm... or maybe he would grow an oxygen for when he breathes!! I'm so much better than this movie.

And get this... when he's after you, you hear that one 'Jeepers Creepers' song from like 1492. Yeah, that's pretty gay, huh? They should play Hippo instead. Hippo kicks ass... wait a second... that would make the movie be called Hippo... then the fans would want the bad guy to be a hippo... hehe that would KICK SO MUCH ASS!!!!!!

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