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Oops! Yeti, Idaho Really Does Exist!

My mistake! There really is a town called Yeti, Idaho! Man, let me apologive to Robert, who recently gave me some hate mail! Because I'm so sorry, I'll even post a picture that I found of Yeti, Idaho!

Wow! He's so cool! I just love hillbillies... except the exact opposite. I would seriously sign a contract that said all hillbillies in the world get killed. Hillbillies are all gay and shit. They're like 'Garsh, Dana! Uncle Mom will be comin back here any minute, I reckon! Throw a steak on that there barbacue!!' Dammit, I hate them.

Now, for all of you people who think that I'm making all my basis on hillbillies up, I have proof that I'm not! I have been to Tenessee, and there were inbred hicks all over. True story! I was just sitting there, minding my own business, when they all turned into hick zombies and closed in on me! So, I pulled out my double barreled shotgun and started blowing off some zombie-hillbilly heads!! They were closing in too fast on me, so I went into bullet time and started doing flips and shit. Then, I turned into a pirate for no good reason and they ran away scared. Haha pirates kick ass.

Wow! Right when I thought I couldn't be any more of a pimp, I go and I turn into a pirate! Anyways, back to hicks. I hate them. I live in a hick town, but I'm not a hick because I rule. Here are a few specific examples of hicks in my city:

1. This one wasn't me. This was my friend and mullet buddy, Brandon. Anyways, Brandon was sitting in a car one say, when he heard a girl walk by saying 'I reckon he needs a new pair of pants harhar!!' No lie! This happened!! Luckily, I was right there, and I tackled the hick and ran her over with Brandon's car. Dammit, if I ever hear anybody but the mullet pals say reckon again, I'm just going to have to turn into a pirate!

2. This one was specifically me. I'm not sure if this lady was a hick or just plain crazy, but I'll tell my story anyways. I was down at M&H, our local food store with some friends, when this old lady approaches us. She, for some reason, thought that we were from an acrobatic school three miles away, where Jacob goes. We asked 'Jacob who?' But she didn't know! All she said was 'Golly, I don't know! All I know is he goes to that acrobatic school with the indoor skating rink!' By this time we were so creeped out by her, we tried backing away. That's when she pulled out an uzi and started firing!! We all pulled out our shotguns, and ducked behind cars, every once and a while taking shots. The people in the store just watched as this old lady transformed into a slime monster and slipped into the sewers.


Like my drawing?

3. Okay, one last example. Me and some other people were at a play. It sucked. I hated it. Anyways, they told this one really gay joke, and this guy behind us starts laughing his ass off! He had a hick laugh and everything!! I let it slip then, but he started reciting credit card commercials, so me and my friends formed a Voltron robot and stomped his ass!! HAHA! In the end, it turned out he wasn't a hick, he was retarded, and now I have a 15 million dollar law suit on me... hehe... it was worth it...

Well, that's all I have for you today. Dammit, I hate hicks....

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