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Top Three Suggestion of What to do if You're Gay!

Here are some easy instructions for you if you're gay! God, I hope you're not because as far as I know, this page is only open to my friends and that means... ugh... DAMMIT! I just barfed all over myself!! Anyways, here are some suggestions:

Suggestion 1: The Old Gun-to-Head Routine

Wow, this one works like magic! The way I see it, if you're gay, you deserve to die. You'll never live to see the true pleasure of having friends. Nobody likes gay people. Especially not me. However, the gun-to-head routine not only works if you're gay! Here are some other reasons you might use it:

-You have no friends.
-You do have friends.
-You're short
-You're tall
-You're of an average height.
-You're not me.
-You watch Friends.
-Your goldfish died.

Of course, there are several more reasons why this routine could work, but that's all I'll cover for now.

Suggestion 2: 'Accidentally' Drive Your Car Off the Road

This one always works. If you feel like life is closing in on you, just grab the wheel and steer off road, baby! That's what I'm talking about! If you don't have the guts to do it yourself, you may e-mail me (tempy34@hotmail.com) or call me (483-0935) and I'll do it FOR you! See, I enjoy doing those kinds of things. Too me, that's fun. If you ever need to get murdered or something, I'll be available. It's gonna be fun...

Suggestion 3: Buy Hilary Duff's CD!

If you're gay, everything in your life sucks. Why not complete the package by ordering the Hilary Duff CD? The way I see it, if you're going down, take the music iundustry down with you by funding organizations of people with no future? Hell!! Why don't you just go out and buy MY cd!?! I could kick Dream Street's ass, and I'm like WAY hotter than Aaron Carter... not that I think he's hot or anything... hehe... cuz that would mean I'm gay... and I hate gays... right? I'm not gay! Anyway's, here's my CD cover...

Man, I think my CD would be a hit. Here are some of the titles. Also, below the song titles, you can click a link for the sample of my first single, which is called 'I'm a rebel.' Anyways, here it is:

1. I Could Kick Your Ass
2. I Could Kick Your Mom's Ass
3. Maybe Your Dad's Too
4. Elmo's Anthem
5. Shattered Remembrance (David the Gnome song)
6. Steiner's Gay
7. Holy Shit I Rule
8. Seals Are Fat
9. Joan, Lydia, Kassy, Amber, Katie, Tate, Alyssa and Dan are My heros.

And the first single:
10. I'm a Rebel

Anyways, that's it. Those are my top three suggestions which you should do if you're gay. PLEASE don't be gay. Give me some feedback on my song in the guest book, too, please!

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