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About Fred....

At this junction, I'd like to introduce you to Fred....

Fred was my life partner of 13 years. He was not a whiner or complainer, not even the fact that he was confined to a wheel chair made him complain. He should have complained, I mean, here you have this tough heavy duty mechanic and all of a sudden he finds himself in a wheelchair but, knowing him, he made the best of it all. He did suffer a hemiplegia, in other words, a stroke. I remember when I met Fred, I thought that he was the kindest and nicest man that I had ever met. He always did say that he couldn't walk but at least he was alive. Life with Fred was easy going and full of laughter. Communicating with him on a daily basis was a pleasure, never a cross word, never a fight or argument, no, I remember he had the softest tone of voice and I would say to him to raise his tone a bit and he'd say that wasn't in him, besides, he always said that he was afraid to hurt my feelings in case I thought he was yelling. He always had a ready smile and a joke at the tip of the tonge, that is the kind of personality Fred had, oh please don't get me wrong about this, if anyone tried to get smart with me or him, that is when the tough guy came out and wheelchair or no wheelchair, he didn't put up with nonsense. Fred was a person who could hold his own in just about any subject, but his favorite time of the day was when we used to sit down and read and spontaneous conversation would take place. This was not planned, we just wanted to read but there we would be talking about anything. I remember in the last year of Fred's life, we started talking about death, for some reason he started telling me what he wanted done. I carried out his wishes to the best of my ability, right down to where he wanted his funeral services to be held, I know he's happy about it. Fred was a person who enjoyed life, he'd say to me that we should go to the mall for coffee and just to spend time there. I'm so proud of you, Fred! what a great human being you were and how we miss you! but I know that he is still around, because that is what he believed till the end, that we don't die, it's merely a change of address, a move to another place.

I also want to tell you about my relationship with Fred. We had a soul connection. All during our life together, there were many instances where I'd be thinking of something and he'd voice that thought for me, it was not done intentionally but spontaneously and I loved every minute of that. But it was not only Fred who did that, it did happen to me too, he'd be sitting there and I would voice something that he'd be thinking of. We had the same spiritual path, we didn't need religion but rather a spiritual path and ours was a match. He always respected me and I him. Fred treated me like a most valued person, he never critisized me and encouraged me in all I wanted to do. I did the same for him. I always thought he was the best man around. He'd say to me that I was one in a million and I'd laugh and I'd say to him that love is blind but he would insist in telling me that. We truly loved each other from our souls. He would tell me that one day he'd die and then I'd die one day as well but he'd say to me that he was going to be waiting for me and I'd say to him if I died first, I would be waiting for him as well. This was a great relationship that we had and I don't think I will ever find a man that will be like Fred, I don't think I will find someone that will love me so much for me and not for any other reason. I love you, Fred.

I am so proud of Fred because he showed such dignity when he made his crossing, he was at peace and not a bit scared, well, that does not surprise me, he always did say that he was not afraid, he would be still around and I believe that very much too.

I just wish I had had more time with him, it was so short and that is all the regret I have, I would not trade those years for the world, but, I have to let go and this is my way of letting go of him, by doing this website my way and by remembering him. Fred is a tough act to follow for any man on the face of the earth, I think they broke that mold when they made him. I remember the last time we saw a friend of his that was in the same rehabilitation hospital he was and this man mentioned that were it not for Fred, he would have never had the will to live again.

I want to close here by saying that we will never forget you and John and I will always love you, no matter what, we will always love you and if I look at my life, the whole of my life, it was made better and worth it because of you. I miss you so much and go forward on your journey, it's not over yet. There is no grave to go to, nowhere to go and cry, your body did die but you only migrated to The Other Side Of Life, I love you, Fred.

~*~ Silvermoon ~*~

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