Thursday night. This has come to be one of the greatest
times the week offers nowadays.
All the dirty-work´s done. Tomorrow´s just going home.
Coming to think of it, I don´t do much once I get there.
Home, I mean. Just relaxing, taking it easy and trying to
keep in touch with my friends.
I have pretty precisely 48 hours at home every week, and
looking forward to those is probably what keeps me going,
one week at a time.
Although, I wonder if the feeling I have now, and that I´m
most likely to have on the train tomorrow, is even better,
better than the feeling of being at home.
When you´re really thirsty, it´s great to gorge on a big glass
of icy cold water... but probably even greater is the moment
when you put the glass to your lips, open your mouth,
knowing what is to come. (Thanks Ulrika :)

You know, before the orgasm.

Right now, I´m actually on the toilet.
I kinda like this place.. First of all, it´s probably the only
room around here where you can be all by yourself, and
thus, the only quiet place. Secondly, I enjoy reading all
these voices from the past scrawled all over the door and the
walls.. even on the ceiling..

"If you´re reading this, you´re missing the bowl." (Freely translated.)

Most people have written about when they finally got out of
here for good.. 97-06-11... 96-10-23... -95, -94, -93... it goes
back some time. You feel so alone here it´s easy to forget
about all those who went through it before you.
Then, it´s written about being a commando, and the pride of
earning the green beret.
And, of course, naked women, male genitals and lots of
intercourse-related texts.
How the hell can anyone claim the military to make men out
of boys ("I always thought that was a woman´s job"), when
every guy around seems to be reduced to a one-track-minded
grunt starving for pussy (excuse me).

"We train young men to drop fire on people...but their
commanders won´t allow them to write "FUCK" on their
airplanes, because!...it´s obscene..."

No wonder we have such a bad reputation. (Ask Dorothy.)

Next week´s going to be hell. We´re leaving this place for a
small island about an hour away, to spend a week out in the
shi...doing field-training.

"A high-school girl could do my job. I want to get out into
the shit. I want to get some trigger time."
"If you get killed, your mom will find me after I rotate back
to the world and she´ll beat the shit out of me. That´s a
negative, Rafterman."

You know, I don´t want this. I don´t need it. Actually, I´m
having serious plans of (yes...I am a wimp, a wuss and a
weener) hurting myself in order to get out of it (not macho,
right? Ask Denis).
I´m not kidding.. Everything from taking a cold shower and
spending a few hours naked outside, via jumping from a
roof of medium hight, trying to land on one foot, to pouring
boiling water over my legs have passed through my mind.
But I´m not sure I´m dedicated (ok, brave) enough to do
it... and putting it up here´s probably bad for my plans
anyway.
Never know when an officer might bump in. :)

This week though, was easy-going. Almost too easy-going..
we haven´t been close to weapons or equipment, and we
haven´t been outside. Just learned a lot about operating a
radar (that´s what I´m supposed to be doing once I´m done
with this basic military training).

"An eight-week college, for the phony-tough, and the
crazy-brave."

I´m also serving as corporal this week, which means I´m
staying up for awhile after the other´s gone to bed, making
sure lights are put out, doors closed, and that everything is
ok (I´m also responsible for waking everyone up at 6:00
a.m., probably making me the most hated man in the platoon
this week).
Anyway, that´s the time I like best during the entire day..
being up alone, stalking the corridors in the dark, knowing
everyone is asleep.

For some reason, I really like that thought,
thinking about people asleep.
Have you ever been taking a walk around 4a.m., just
because you felt like it?
A bit chilly outside, but not really cold, and you´re the only
one awake.
Maybe it´s just me..
but I can´t seem to get enough of that.
Those are probably the best hours of the day, somewhere
between 3 and 5 a.m., probably because most are asleep by
then. Sometimes people wake up at five, and sometimes they
go to bed at three, but in between, they sleep..generally.
But anyway.. I find the thought comfortable. A condition for
that however, is knowing that you yourself have a good
night´s undisturbed sleep coming to you.
Knowing that you have to wake up and go to work in 3-4
hours just makes the thought of sleep feel awkward..
you KNOW you´ll wake up when your sleeping away at
best, you KNOW you´ll feel a lot more tired then than you
are now, and you KNOW your body will object to it all day,
making it impossible to concentrate on anything, no matter
how much coffee you drink.
It ruins the entire business of sleeping..
Although, during those times when you know for sure that
nothing will disturb your sleep, and you are really tired, not
much can beat that wonderful feeling.
There´s a part in Sleeping Beauty that I really like. It
describes (very aptly) the beauty of sleep ;) ..you know,
when the prince has just entered the castle, and is walking
through the halls.. and everyone is asleep; the king and queen
on their thrones, the cook as he was about to slap his helper,
and so on. I just find it so peaceful.

Ah, well... I think I better get out of here now, it´s getting a
bit uncomfortable, and it´s time for me to attend to what is
written above.

Goodnight.

The Hultsfred Experience

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