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20 Ways to Confuse Your Roommate
- Sit up. Say, time to go make the doughnuts...leave...do this often.
- Every five minutes, get up, open the door, peek out, close the door, and look relieved.
- Every night before you go to bed, beg your roommate for a glass of water. When he or she brings it to you, dump it on the floor and immediately go to sleep. If the roommate ever refuses to bring you a glass of water, lie on the bed and pretend to be dying of dehydration, making annoying gagging noises until your roommate obeys.
- Express an extreme fear of sunlight. Move away from and flinch at areas of the room that are sunny.
- Pick up the phone every 5 minutes and say "No...Stop calling me!"
- Unwrap a candy bar. Eat the wrapper. Throw the candy bar away.
- When listening to the radio, sing along with different lyrics and a different tune.
- Address your roommate by a different name every time you talk to them.
- Constantly drink from an empty cup.
- Everytime you handle something of your roommate's use a tissue or gloves.
- While unlocking your door with the key, complain that the engine wont start.
- Name your animal crackers. Mourn for them after you eat them.
- Insist that your roommate recite the pledge of allegiance with you every morning.
- Get a pet rabbit. At a designated time every day take the rabbit into the bathroom and engage in loud shouting matches. If your roommate inquires, refuse to discuss the situation.
- Keep a hamster as a pet. Buy a blender and make milkshakes every day. Then, one day, get rid of the hamster. Make a shake using a lot of ketchup or red food coloring. When your roommate comes in, look at the shake, the empty hamster cage, and the blender, say "Where's fluffy?"
- Try to make meals using your roommate's electric blanket.
- Aerate your underwear drawer. Claim ''they'' are not getting enough air
- Put black tape over the eyes of the people in your roommate's pictures. Complain that they were staring at you.
- Get a surfboard and put it on your bed. Stand on it, and pretend to surf for about fifteen minutes. Then, pretend to wipe out and fall off the bed onto the floor. Pretend you are drowning until your roommate comes over to 'rescue' you. Refer to them as ''my hero'' from then on.
- Every time your roommate falls asleep, wait ten minutes, wake them up and say, "I can't fall asleep knowing you're asleep"
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