Tampons
A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles...the
salesgirl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that
he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down
the correct aisle.
A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball
of string on the counter. She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were
looking for tampons for your wife?". He answers, "You see, it's like
this. Yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of
cigarettes and she came home with a tin of tobacco and some rolling paper.
So, I figure that if I have to roll my own, SO DOES SHE!"
Life Before the Computer
An application was for employment
A program was a TV show
A cursor used profanity
A keyboard was a piano!
Memory was something that you lost with age
A CD was a bank account
And if you had a 3 1/2 inch floppy
You hoped nobody found out!
Compress was something you did to garbage
Not something you did to a file
And if you unzipped anything in public
You'd be in jail for awhile!
Log on was adding wood to a fire
Hard drive was a long trip on the road
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
And a backup happened to your commode!
Cut - you did with a pocket knife
Paste you did with glue
A web was a spider's home
And a virus was the flu!
I guess I'll stick to my pad and paper
And the memory in my head
I hear nobody's been killed in a computer crash
But when it happens they wish they were dead!
