About an hour after he had fallen asleep Nick’s eyes were wide open. He just lay there staring alternately out the window then at Cesilie. An old song from the 80’s rambled through his mind and he laughed in spite of himself.
Romance and all its strategies
Leaves me battling with my pride
Yet through the insecurities
Some tenderness survives
I'm just another writer
Still trapped within my truth
A hesitant prizefighter
Still trapped within my youth
Sometimes when we touch
The honesty’s too much
And I have to close my eyes
And hide…
Life is funny sometimes. Sometimes you meet the right people under the wrong circumstances. Of course he had the power to change things. He could swallow his pride. Forget the bet. Lose for once. And maybe win for once. He could change the rules. He could be somebody else. But, pride does funny things to people; especially, it seems to men. Pride between men is a sacred thing, and not something that is easily overcome. And more often than not a man’s Pride wins regardless of the loss. Money, cars, homes, families, friends, and even lives have all been lost over Pride. And sometimes a person searches so long and so hard for something or someone and even though it is suddenly, possibly right there in front of them, they refuse to take advantage of it because of pride.
Tonight, Pride would just happen to win a victory over two more innocent victims.
Rolling over on his back Nick placed his arm over his eyes and sighed. Damn you, Tony! She had to be a nice girl. It couldn’t have been some groupie, like usual; just some easy, forgettable target. He laughed at the irony and the pain.
Rolling back over on his side to look at her, he reached out and brushed the hair away that had fallen into her face while she slept. He wanted to see her face, her eyes, even if they were closed. Her hair was like long strands of black satin.
He noticed for the first time she had a scar under her left eye. I wonder what caused that? That would have been a good question. Sigh “I just…” He began softly. What do you say to someone who is sleeping? “I just wish things were different.” Leaning over he softly kissed first the scar on her cheek then gently kissed her lips before moving from the bed.
BACK IN HIS SUITE
He tried to enter to room quietly but Tony was asleep on the couch and heard the door shut and lock.
“Huh? Wha?” He started to sit up. “Nick? What you doing? Man what time is it?” Tony was rubbing his eyes looking for a clock.
“It’s almost 7a.m. Go back to sleep.” Nick started to walk back towards his own room.
“Oh, okay.” Tony went to lie back down, then. “WHAT! No fucking way! 7a.m. You’re just getting back aren’t you? You got her! You got her, didn’t you? You are so lucky.”
Tony was rambling. Nick just pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers and mumbled, “Yeah lucky.”
“Damn it, Nick! Don’t you ever lose?! Aw fuck, man. This is so not fair. Details dude. Was she hot? C’mon!” Tony was patting Nick on the back waiting to hear the full story.
Nick brushed his friend’s hands off. “Fuck you, Tony. Just, you know what, just, just, just fuck you!” Nick sputtered and stormed into his room slamming the door behind him.
EARLY SUNDAY AFTERNOON
Cesilie woke to a quiet empty room. She was disappointed but not entirely surprised. It was after 1p.m. and she knew Nick had responsibilities with the team and his family for the day. It was entirely possible he woke her to say goodbye and as tired as she was she didn’t remember it. Then again, it was completely possible he just left without saying any type of goodbye.
She felt both good and confused about the night before. It was silly to take it for anything other that what it was. Which in all reality was most likely nothing at all? But part of her kept telling her that the two had made some sort of connection. But then maybe that is why he is so popular with the fans? He makes everyone feel that way.
She just didn’t know, and she wasn’t the type to get her hopes up. But neither did he seem like the type to, to what, Cesilie? Stop trying to over rationalize this or over analyze this. Just see what he has to say about it later. He did, after all, ask for your number. Besides, she also kept telling herself, silly as it was that he still had two more questions.
AT THE BANQUET
“So then he just stormed into his room and slammed the door. I don’t understand what that was all about.” Tony was filling Mike in on what had happened earlier that morning.
“Man, I just can’t believe he went through with it. Are you sure, Tony? Are you sure maybe he wasn’t pissed that she shot him down? Or that he was pissed that he got caught at not going through with it?” Mike hoped.
“No. I know Nick. Dude. He won. He followed through. He hasn’t even gone near her tonight. He keeps looking over at her, but if she looks his way he pretends he’s doing something else. That’s the weird part. You know him. Usually, they don’t even exist afterwards.” Usually Tony would be gloating, but even he was uneasy this time.
“Cesilie, honey, how are you? How have you enjoyed your vacation?” Mary Kay spotted the young lady.
“I’ve had a good time, thanks for asking.” The ceremonies were over and Cesilie was just on her way over to say hello to Nick and say goodbye to everyone as she was leaving that night to go back to Fort Lauderdale. Talking for a few minutes with Mr. and Mrs. Murray Cesilie said her goodbyes to them and promised to keep in touch and have her parents keep in touch.
Nick was with a group of people that included Tony, Mike and a few other people Cesilie didn’t know but assumed where fans by the looks of things. Smiling as she approached, “Hey there.”
Nick looked up with a little smile, “Hi.” He said. After a pause he added, “Um, did you enjoy the races?”
She gave him a funny look not immediately sure of what was going on. Nodding her head and looking at Mike who looked down and then Tony who looked away she went to say, “Yeah, they were fun.”
She tried to meet Nick’s eyes but he looked at his feet, a sign with which she was familiar. Nick looked at Tony who had a smile on his face, as if to say, ‘what’cha gonna do now?’ Tony just raised an eyebrow at Nick waiting for him to continue.
Nick licked his lips, gritted his teeth, and smiled his little smile before finally looking at Cesilie. Giving her a blank, can I help you, look, he asked, “Is there something you’d like for me to sign?”
Taken aback she just blinked at him then asked. “Excuse me?” She had a puzzled look on her face but the snickers at her expense from Tony and the other fans standing around, combined with the fact that Mike still had not looked up and seemed to be upset had started to make things very clear.
“Oh, I’m sorry; I thought maybe you were a fan…” Nick trailed off and looked at the other girls and gave his crooked smile and soft chuckle, eliciting the requisite giggles from them.
Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath she knew exactly what had happened. Knew it was her fault for being so gullible. Opening her eyes she was quite surprised to actually find Nick looking directly into her own eyes.
Not breaking his gaze she replied, “Fan? Oh yeah, fan.” Then stepping closer to Nick so only Nick, Tony, and Mike if he was listening could hear, she turned her voice icy and sarcastic before she continued, “You know the Backstreet boys are okay. But I hear that the young one, what IS his name again? A Nick something or other, I hear his is a complete jackass!” Before anyone could say anything more and before her emotions could get the better of her Cesilie turned on her heals and calmly walked out the banquet.
She didn’t let the tears fall until she crossed over Stock Island. Then they only fell because she was mad at herself and her own stupidity. She also realized he finally did get his last two questions.
He won the bet. He saved face in front of his buddies. Nick didn’t blink until she was out of the room. He didn’t say a word. He put his head down, ran his hand up over the back of his head, turned, and walked out the other way. His pride had won, but he had lost. How costly is the price of pride?
<~ Chapter 8
Karina 2003
