Chapter Ten -- Love is...
~ MTV Video Music Awards -- NY City ~
I was backstage, preparing for my live performance. I was extremely exhausted after a 22-hour flight from Hong Kong to New York. I hoped I would have time after the award to at least say HI to the Backstreet Boys.
"Lori... you're next."
"k..."
I went on stage and perform "Love is..." Throughout the whole time onstage, I was trying so hard to look in the audiences, trying to find Nick.
Love is... when you find him and feel how strong the love is...
I spotted where Nick was. All of a sudden, everything was out of my sight except him. I was trying really hard to hold my tears back. After I changed, I sat back as an audience. It was time for presenting the award for Best New Artist. I was one of the nominees.
"And the winner is... Lori!"
This was something I never expected. I happily walked onstage.
"Wow! Thank you. First of all, I would like to thank my parents, for letting me go with my dream. I would also like to thank KBNHA Records, N-Control Management, my manager Jonathan Matthews. And you guys, the fans, without all of you I won't be standing here. Last, but not the least, I would like to thank the Backstreet Boys, for giving me this chance, for always being there for e and being good friends of mine. Thank you very much."
After the award show, I went back to the hotel. I couldn't get to sleep, so I decided to have a walk on the "top-roof garden" on the top of the hotel building. 6 hours later, I would be leaving US again. I looked up to the stars above, enjoying the quietness around me.
"Watching stars again?"
"Nick?"
He brushed his hand through his blonde hair and smiled at me. "Long time no see Lori, and congratulations!"
"Thanks... how have you been Nick?"
"I'm okay... u?"
"Same here..."
"Lori, I always wonder why you like to watch the stars quietly at night."
"Well Nick, you know, sometimes when you look at the stars above, you will realize how big the universe is. Especially when you get famous, comparing the universe and yourself, you will realize that you are almost nothing in the comparison. That's why, being famous didn't mean that we could have those bad attitude, thinking we're what-so-ever." I looked at him for a second, "don't you think it's so peaceful to look at the stars, when things are not working out and you wanna take time out, not thinking about them?"
"What are not working for you then Lori?"
I don't know what to answer.
"I'm just kidding..." Then he got serious, "I read the letter Lori."
I had no idea what to say, how did he find the letter? "What are you talking about Nick?" I tried to smile my shock away. He held both of my hands, we were facing each other, I did not look at him, I couldn't look at him in this situation.
"Lori, look at me."
I slowly scrolled my eyes upward and looked at him right into his eyes.
"I always thought that I cannot forget about Winnie. But when I went out with her the day you left, I knew I was wrong, everything Winnie did just reminds me of you. In the letter, you said all you're asking for is me being happy, and I'm telling you that you're gonna be the only one who can do that. Will you give me a chance to make you happy too?"
"No... Nick."
¡@
